by L A Cotton
Cael and his men approved, wasting no time in guiding us to the bar. My eyes searched frantically for her. Another girl—the blonde from last time—was busy serving two men, laughing and flirting with them. But there was no sign of Cassie.
“Dominique,” Cael called her over. “Get my friends here a drink.”
She sauntered over, brazenly checking out Brett and giving him a little smirk, but when her eyes reached me, they widened with recognition, irritation and lust glittering there.
“Hey Cael, what can I get y’all?”
He slung his arm over my shoulder, and I went stiff. “What’ll it be?” he asked.
“Just a beer please.”
“And for you?” She flicked her attention to Brett, and he grinned, licking his lips for effect.
“Oh, I can think of something I’d like.”
The guys all howled with laughter, and the three of them began chatting with Dominique, who lapped up the attention. I nursed my beer, staying on the periphery. Watching. Waiting. And disappointment sank in my chest when I realized she might not show. At least Brett provided a welcome distraction for Dominique, and I fully expected to hear how he banged her out back on the ride home.
Thirty minutes or so passed when I felt it. The shift in the air. The hairs on the back of my neck electrified as I watched her enter the room. She didn’t notice me sitting at the far end of the bar, nursing the same beer I’d had while Brett drank and laughed with Cael and his guys. They’d moved to one of the tables to get a better view of Stacey or Tracey or whatever the girl swinging and grinding around the pole was called.
Cassie slipped behind the bar and said hello to Dominique. They chatted, the other girl doing most of the talking, my girl smiling and nodding in all the right places.
My girl.
Shit. She hadn’t been my girl in a long time. Maybe she never was.
And although this wasn’t how I wanted to do it—insert myself back into her life—I couldn’t see another way. Not with my old man breathing down my back and Brett too fucking involved in everything. Still, nothing could have prepared me for the second her gaze lifted over Dominique’s shoulder and she saw me. Her eyes widened to saucers, and even though it was dark, even though she was at the other end of the bar, I saw her sharp intake of breath. Saw the pain and memories glittering in her eyes.
Palm pressed hard against the counter, I locked my eyes on hers, trying to tell her all the things I’d been too chickenshit to say.
I love you.
I’m sorry.
Forgive me.
But who the fuck was I kidding? I didn’t deserve a second chance. Didn’t deserve her to run over here and welcome me back with open arms.
Dominique noticed Cassie standing there, rigid, staring in my direction, and as she turned slowly, her brows rose when she realized it was me. I dropped my gaze and took a long pull on my beer.
Cassie set about work; wiping down the counter, cleaning glasses, and serving the guys who lingered at the bar. I watched her. She wasn’t like Dominique, all tits and suggestive smiles. Cassie didn’t engage. Her lips didn’t curve at the guys’ compliments or tips. And more often than not, their eyes wandered back to the busty blonde who was more than willing to lap up their attention.
I spun on the stool, needing a couple of minutes to breathe. Brett was still talking shit with Cael, drooling after the girl on stage. The redhead from our last visit. Jesus, he was worse than a bitch in heat. I raked a hand over my face.
“Can I get you another one?”
Everything slowed down as I turned to face her. And when my eyes landed on the soft lines of her face, time stopped.
“Cassie.” Her name fell from my lips in barely a whisper.
“I said can I get you another one?” She didn’t blink. Nothing.
“Hmm, yeah, thanks.”
Cassie didn’t look twice in my direction as she got me a beer and slammed it down on the counter. “One beer, on the house.”
She went to leave, but I snatched her wrist. “Wait,” I said.
Her eyes slid to where my fingers curled around her skin, and then she lifted her gaze slowly to mine. “Please let me go.”
“Cass, please.” I didn’t know what I expected at this moment, but it wasn’t this.
“No, Dennis. I’m not doing this ... I can’t. Please let me go.”
I dropped her arm as if I’d been burned, and she immediately backed up. A quick glance around reassured me that no one had seen my fuckup. Dominique was busy serving a customer, and Brett and the guys were watching the show. When my eyes slid back to her, she was already gone. Back turned, Cassie continued with her job as if I was nobody. As if I hadn’t broken her heart four years ago. But while she wore her armor well, I saw the chinks. The way her breath hitched when my fingers grazed her skin. How her fingers trembled when she slammed down my beer. Even if she wanted to pretend she didn’t remember, her body betrayed her. Which meant we weren’t done.
Not by a long shot.
I DIDN’T GET THE CHANCE to speak to her again. Hernandez returned and insisted on personally attending to me. “Gentlemen, here’s to good business and a good life.” He raised his beer in the air, and I tipped mine in his direction.
“Where’s Brett?” I glanced around. We’d loaded the truck and then come back inside for a parting drink.
Hernandez rubbed his jaw, unable to hide his smirk, and I cussed under my breath. “Let him have his fun. He’s young, and I know Mya will take good care of him.”
“Mya?”
“The redhead.”
“Enough said.” I took a long pull on my beer.
“Do you have a woman waiting for you back in Stonewood?” he asked, catching me off guard. My gaze flicked over to where I’d last seen Cassie, but she was no longer there.
“No. You?”
“I haven’t found the right one yet.”
Silence hung between us as we looked out at his bar. It was busier. Men huddled around the tables, drooling over the dancer on stage.
“I take it you’ve met the beautiful Cassie?” My head whipped around to Hernandez. She stood awkwardly at his side, unwilling to meet my cool gaze. “She’s only been with us a few months, but she’s already made quite the impression.” He curled his arm around her possessively, drawing her to his side, and my spine went ramrod straight. My gaze slid past him, to her, and anger flared inside me. Cassie looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I said, keeping my voice as even as possible.
“You too. Excuse me, I should probably go help Dominique.”
He nodded, and she hurried back behind the bar.
“Now she”—he tipped his beer in her direction—“is the kind of woman you wouldn’t give up in a hurry.”
“Yeah,” I choked out over a mouthful of beer. To my relief, Brett chose that moment to return to us, wearing a shit-eating grin. “’Bout time you showed up,” I snapped. “We need to get on the road.”
His eyes searched my face for an explanation, but I stood and dug the keys out of my pocket. “We’ll be in touch,” I said to Hernandez and walked away. I had to get the hell out of there.
Before I did something I would regret.
4. Cassie
“Hey, I wanted two beers,” the blond-haired guy glowered at me as if I was nothing more than dirt on the bottom of his shoe. Heat flared in my cheeks, and I mumbled an apology before grabbing another bottle from the refrigerator.
“Sorry, here you go.” I flashed him a saccharine sweet smile, but I knew it probably looked more like a grimace. My mind was too preoccupied. Filled with memories I’d worked hard to repress.
Memories that were too painful, too crippling to allow to the surface.
But my efforts were futile. It was easy to force yourself to forget the past when you had no reminders. But put an addict in a room with their poison of choice and suddenly, the urge to fall was real. A living, breathing thing, whisperi
ng sweet nothings in your ear, blurring the lines between responsibility and recklessness.
And Dennis had been right there, seated on the stool at the end of the bar.
Living.
Breathing.
Right. There.
Dennis was in Redmont.
It was impossible, yet my heart knew it was real. Galloping underneath my ribcage, ready to explode out of my chest, it had known the second my eyes landed on the dark-haired guy across the bar. I’d wanted to believe it was his doppelganger because the alternative was simply too horrifying.
Dennis Hayes, the guy who had broken me in ways I never thought possible and then walked away as if he hadn’t shredded my heart into a thousand pieces, was here. At the bar where I worked, no less. Looking at me with longing in his eyes. Staring at me as if he was stranded in a desert and I was the last drop of water.
Did the universe really hate me that much?
I wasn’t a bad person. I’d worked hard in high school, attended all my classes at college, and never partied too hard. I helped little old ladies across the road and always gave my spare change to donation boxes. Sure, I made some mistakes in life, but hadn’t everyone?
But what other reason was there for fate to land Dennis back in my life? Just when I was finally getting back to some kind of normal. When I finally felt like I was getting a handle on things, someone up there decided to rock the boat.
“What’s your problem?” Dominique shouldered me out of the way, jolting me back into the present, and I glared at her back as she moved onto to a new customer.
Dennis.
Dennis was here.
The top shelf liquor bottles whispered my name, offering to take it all away. But I still had two hours left of my five-hour shift, and I couldn’t afford a massive hangover in the morning. Besides, I hadn’t gotten drunk in a really long time.
“Hey, girl.” Mario, one of the bartenders, ducked his head and smiled. “You doing okay there? You look a little green.”
“Fine,” I rasped out. “I’m fine. Just went a little lightheaded. I skipped dinner.” Lips pursed, I stared back at him, hoping my face didn’t betray me.
“Go take five. I’ll cover for you.”
My eyes slid to Dominique over my shoulder, and Mario snorted. “Don’t worry about her. She’s nothing I can’t handle. Now go.”
“Thanks.” I hurried from behind the bar and out of the door marked private. Once inside the safety of the small staff room, I dropped onto the worn couch and inhaled a ragged breath.
What the hell was he doing here?
Four years.
It had been four years since I last saw him, and all it took was thirty seconds for all those old feelings to rush to the surface. Love ... Hate ... Regret. It was a potent combination, and my stomach churned violently as I buried my face in my hands and fought back the tears burning my eyes. I couldn’t fall apart. Not in the middle of my shift. He’d already left; I’d watched as he and his friend disappeared. My gaze lingered on the door longer than necessary, but I needed to know he was gone. And wasn’t coming back.
His absence did little to ease the sinking feeling in my stomach. Because I’d seen him now. My eyes had studied the strong planes of his face. Defined jaw. Intense soul-searching eyes. His full lips. I shook the thoughts out of my head. I needed to stay focused. So he was in town. Maybe he was just passing through. Maybe he wouldn’t come around the bar again. Maybe I could just pretend tonight never happened and push it down with all the other bad stuff that had happened in my life.
But as I sat there, staring into oblivion, I knew I was lying to myself. Because like an addict craving one more hit, no matter how messed up or how wrong or how destructive it was, the damage was already done.
It had been the second my eyes collided with his.
Jesus, talk about being caught off guard. I fled to Redmont because it was safe. Because no one beside my aunt knew me here. It was supposed to be a fresh start. A clean break from my past.
He isn’t supposed to be here.
“There you are.” Amanda, the bar manager and my friend, burst into the room, her smile slipping when she saw my tight expression. “What happened?”
“I’m fine. I just felt a little lightheaded.” Really, I’d felt like I was hurtling toward the floor at breakneck speed, bracing myself for the inevitable landing, but I couldn’t tell her that.
“Do you need to go home?”
“No, I feel fine now. I promise.” I smiled reassuringly, and the tension in her shoulders melted away.
“Okay, well here, have some water.” She got a bottle from the mini fridge and handed it to me.
“Thanks.” I uncapped it and took a big mouthful. Swallowing it down, I let the cold liquid douse some of the energy zipping through me.
“I have some chips if you’re hungry?”
“I’m fine, I promise.”
“Okay, well, we’re slammed out there, if you’re sure you’re okay?”
I couldn’t be further from okay if I tried. My world had been tipped on its axis, and I was barely managing to stay upright. But hiding in here all night wasn’t an option so I stood, brushed my hands together, and said, “I’m good. Let’s go.”
Amanda’s gaze lingered on my face, but then she was moving back into the hallway, and I followed. Pushing all thoughts of Dennis Hayes as far down as possible.
AS I APPROACHED THE end of my shift, my feet ached, and my clothes smelled like stale beer, but working at Bellezas wasn’t all bad. Sure, being hit on by middle-age drunks hadn’t been my life’s ambition, but Amanda and Mario were nice, and the tips usually made up for the crap I had to endure. Working night shifts meant it took me at least two coffees and a cold shower to get going, three mornings a week, but as I watched Tiffany shimmy her waif-like figure around the pole, I knew things could have been worse.
Much worse.
So yeah, bartending wasn’t my dream, but it wasn’t my worst nightmare either. Well, not until about two-and-a-half hours ago when my eyes found him sitting there.
I still couldn’t get my head around his sudden appearance. It was obvious he knew Luis Hernandez, my boss, which meant, he was probably in Redmont for business. Business I wanted to know nothing about.
“That’s me finished.” I wiped off my hands and dropped the towel on the counter. Mario was busy restocking the refrigerators, and Dominique, who was supposed to be collecting the last empties, was busy flirting with one of the security guys.
Mario followed my line of sight and chuckled. “She has no shame.”
“Or standards.” Amanda’s head bobbed between us. “Last week, she was hanging off Xavier.”
“Jealous?” Mario asked, earning him an elbow to the ribs. He doubled over, glaring at Amanda, who stuck her tongue out and went back to organizing the liquor cabinet.
“I’ll see you both tomorrow,” I said before heading to the staff room to get my jacket and purse.
“Oh, hey, Luis.” My feet grinded to a halt, and he stepped back to avoid a head-on collision. “I didn’t see you, sorry.”
“Eager to get out of here?” A hint of a smile tugged at his mouth as his eyes flashed with some indecipherable emotion.
“I- hmm...” The way he watched me caught me off guard, and my reply lodged in my throat. But his smile only widened.
“I’m joking. Don’t look so worried.”
“Sorry.” I ducked my head, breaking the awkwardness crackling around us. “It’s been a long night.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
I pressed my lips together and shook my head, not trusting myself to answer.
“Well then.” He stepped to the side. “I won’t keep you any longer than necessary. Good night, Cassie.”
“Night.” I hurried past him, still not meeting his eyes.
Luis was a good guy. He’d offered me the job, no questions asked, and I had it on good authority from Amanda that he looked after his employees. And from my brief t
ime here, he’d done nothing to suggest otherwise. But there was something about him. Something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
I didn’t hang around. After collecting my jacket and purse, I made my way outside, and although I tried to keep my eyes ahead, I still did a quick sweep of the parking lot. But Dennis was gone.
And I couldn’t decide which emotion it was I felt swelling in my chest.
Relief.
Or disappointment.
5. Dennis
The second I saw her leave the bar, I pushed off the wall and started following. It was crazy—staking out the bar—but after watching Hernandez drape his arm over her shoulder last night and look at her with a predatory glint in his eye, the need for answers had consumed me. And despite my better judgment, I couldn’t stay away.
Cassie cut across the street, one arm clutching her purse, the other wrapped around her waist. She’d always been slender, but she looked thin. Too fucking thin. And I was more determined than ever to get to the bottom of what had happened to her. She glanced over her shoulder, searching the shadows, and I paused, dropping back. When she hitched her purse up her shoulder and kept walking, I moved again.
After a couple of minutes, the landscape changed. Neat rows of houses lined the street. Small. Tidy. Seeing a better neighborhood than where Bellezas resided eased the tightness in my chest. Just a fraction.
Just enough that I could breathe.
Cassie stopped outside one of the houses. There was no car in the driveway, and the lawn was slightly overgrown, but it looked tidy enough. She fumbled in her purse, searching for keys no doubt, and I realized it was now or never. If I let her disappear inside, I’d miss my chance.
I was across the street in a second, and before she could process what was happening, I snagged her wrist and yanked her into the shadows. She screamed, but I slid my hand over her mouth, muffling her voice. “Shh, it’s me. It’s me.”
Cassie thrashed against my hold, and I released her slowly. When she spun around and her eyes landed on me, pain and anger burned there. And fuck, if it didn’t crush my heart.