by L A Cotton
“You can’t be here,” she said with a little lift of her chin. But I caught the quiver of her voice.
“Who is he to you?” The words spewed out. Later, I’d look back at this moment and realize I should have said a hundred other things, but jealousy coursed through my veins, blinding me to all rational thought.
“Wh-what?” Her eyes widened in surprise.
“Hernandez, who is he to you?”
“Luis?” she choked out. “He’s my boss. He gave me a job when ...” Her voice trailed off.
“When what, Cass?” I ducked my head, bringing us eye to eye. “What happened to you? What are you doing here in a place like this?”
Her walls slipped, just for a second, but then they slammed back up and anger blazed in her eyes. “You should go.” Her chin jutted out.
“Cassie,” I warned, not liking the way my emotions were all over the place. I didn’t lose my shit—ever—but she was pushing me to new heights. My urge to know why she was here, working at Bellezas, sent all common sense flying out of the window. She wasn’t supposed to be here ... yet if I reached out, if I just leaned in a fraction ... fuck! I clenched my fists at my sides, pressing them against my thighs.
“Dennis, please,” she rasped, emotion thick in her voice. But it wasn’t the emotion I wanted to hear.
Pain. Desperation. Regret ... it was all wrapped up in those two words, and they cut me like a knife.
“Please, just go.” She dropped her head in defeat. But unknowingly, she hadn’t lost. I was the one defeated.
When I didn’t answer, unable to formulate a single coherent thought, she pleaded, “You need to go, Dennis.”
Fuck. This was not how I saw things going down, but the conviction in her voice, in her steely gaze had me saying, “Fine. But we will talk. You can’t shut me out forever, Cassie.”
I watched her hurry to the door and slip inside, feeling more powerless than I’d felt in a long time.
“WHERE THE HELL ARE you?” my old man hissed over the line.
“I told you, I have some shit to take care of. I’ll be back tomorrow.” I hung up, readjusting my ball cap as I watched Cassie’s house for the second night in a row. If anyone saw me, it could jeopardize everything, yet I couldn’t find it in myself to care.
Over the past two weeks, I’d driven out to Redmont with Brett so he could hook up with the redhead, and I could watch Cassie from afar as she pretended I didn’t exist. It took everything in me not to haul her out of there and demand answers. But I didn’t want to scare her away ... and I couldn’t afford to have Brett—or worse, Hernandez—discover the truth about who she was to me.
Who I used to be to her.
I saw the way he watched her, lust and longing glittering in his eyes. He wanted her. And it drove me insane. Cassie was nothing but polite with him, friendly, and I didn’t get the impression she returned his feelings, but the damage was done.
Watching from a distance was no longer cutting it. I needed answers. I needed to know. So I found myself driving out to Redmont after dark and waiting for a glimpse of her returning from her shift at the bar. It was borderline stalker behavior, but I told myself I was doing this for her as much as I was for myself. Because nothing about the situation added up. Back at Chastity Falls Academy, Cassie had wanted to be a teacher. It was all she talked about when I wasn’t buried deep inside her. Loving her. It was part of the reason I walked away; to let her pursue her dreams. Teachers didn’t date criminals. Even reluctant ones. She’d wanted me to join her in San Francisco, but the ties to my family were bound tight. And I wouldn’t taint her.
Cassie deserved more.
She deserved hopes and dreams and a lifetime of happiness.
So how the fuck had she ended up here, working for one of Mendocino’s most notorious dealers? I didn’t walk away all those years ago for this to happen. Jesus, she wasn’t supposed to be here.
And it was screwing with my head.
A dark figure cut across the street, and I sat straighter, scrubbing a hand down my face. It was late, a little after midnight, but there she was, walking all alone. My hand hovered over the handle, and then without thinking, I was out of the truck, closing the distance between us. She heard my footsteps, shooting a glance over her shoulder. At first, she must have thought I was a stranger out for a midnight stroll, but she did a double take and froze, the color draining from her face. “Dennis?” She gasped. “You can’t be here. You need to go.”
“You walk home alone every night?” I ignored her pleas, studying her face.
“Seriously, you’re staking out the house to ask if I walk home alone at night?”
I shrugged. “Well, do you?”
“Jesus,” she mumbled under her breath. “I need to get inside, and you need to go. Don’t come around here again.”
“Cass, come on. Just talk to me. For old time’s sake.”
“Chastity Falls was a long time ago, Dennis. You might not have moved on, but I have.”
Ouch. Her words cut deep, like a knife to the heart. She used my surprise to hurry up the path to the house. Realizing I was about to let another opportunity slip me by, I jogged alongside her, snagging her wrist. She spun around, staring at me with wide eyes.
“Dennis,” she hissed as she glanced over her shoulder at the house. “Please, if you care about me at all, just go.” Her fingers fumbled frantically to locate her keys.
“I just want to talk. Five minutes. Please.”
“I can’t. I need to—”
The door swung open, and an old lady appeared. “Cassie, is everything okay?”
She blew out a heavy sigh and snatched her hand away from mine as she met the woman’s eyes. “Everything’s fine, Aunt Ruby. I’m just coming.”
The woman eyed me, suspicion in her crinkled gaze. “Okay.” She disappeared back into the house, leaving the door ajar.
“You can’t come around here again, Dennis.”
The faint sound of crying filtered out of the house, and Cassie’s eyes snapped over to the door. “I have to go.” She started toward the house.
“Wait, who is that?” It was a dumb fucking question, but I had to ask. I had to hope Cassie would quash the possibilities running through my head. But as she reached the door, all she did was give me one last glance. Sadness radiated from her as she slipped inside, the door closing behind her. And I stood there rooted to the spot. Unable to move. Because of all the things I’d expected coming here tonight, I hadn’t expected to hear a baby’s cries.
I DROVE BACK THE MOTEL on the edge of town in a daze. I hadn’t even realized I was in the parking lot until the truck lurched to an abrupt stop. It was late, too late to be calling up old friends, but I had to talk to someone.
“Dennis?” Ana’s sleep-laden voice filled the line.
“Sorry, I didn’t know who else to call.”
“Who is it?” another voice said, and Ana murmured, “Dennis, go back to sleep.” There was silence and shuffling, the soft click of a door, and then she said, “I’m here. What happened?”
“I saw her again. She told me to get lost, and then I heard something.” Fuck, it had taken me by surprise, sucking the wind clean from my lungs.
“Dennis?”
“I heard a baby, Ana.”
“A baby? You think Cassie has a baby? But how ...?”
That part I did not want to think about. Because it opened a whole can of worms I wasn’t ready to deal with. Like who was the father and where the fuck was he?
“Elena didn’t mention anything about this?”
“Nothing, Dennis. I wouldn’t lie. And neither would Elena. But why would Cassie keep this from her? It doesn’t make any sense.”
It didn’t. Not unless ...
“She’s running from something,” I said, leaving the unspoken words hanging between us.
“You don’t think ... oh, Jesus. Did you see it? The baby, I mean?”
“No, but I definitely heard it, and now her behavior makes
sense. She didn’t want me there at the house. Couldn’t wait to get rid of me.”
“Okay...” Ana breathed out, but nothing about this was okay.
Not a single thing.
Silence settled between us as the reality of the situation—Cassie’s situation—sunk in. And then she whispered, “God, I couldn’t imagine doing this alone. I love Emma more than life, but it’s the hardest job I’ve ever done.”
My head dropped back against the rest, and I released a long breath.
A baby.
Cassie had a baby. And fuck, if it didn’t tear me up inside. We’d never gotten that far in our relationship—we were only kids ourselves. But in a different situation, she was the kind of girl I’d want to spend my life with.
A baby.
Shit. I raked a hand down my face. This changed things. When I’d laid eyes on her, it was like the jagged tear in my heart had started to knit back together.
But a baby?
“Dennis, are you still there?”
“Yeah.” I blew out a strained breath. “I’m still here.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I have no fucking clue,” I admitted.
I was prepared to push Cassie into telling me the truth, but that was before tonight. Before I heard the high-pitched cries floating from the house.
“She’s scared, Ana. Of something or someone.”
“God, this is so messed up. Maybe I should fly—”
“No. Let me handle this,” I rushed out. “I’ll handle this.”
I just didn’t know where the hell to start.
6. Cassie
My alarm pulled me from a fretful sleep. It had been almost impossible to drift off after what happened on my aunt’s doorstep.
Dennis knew.
Not that Lilly was a secret. Of course, she wasn’t. But I’d wanted to avoid that conversation.
I wanted to avoid any conversation of any kind with him.
After seeing him that first time at the bar, part of me had prayed he wouldn’t show up again. The other part wasn’t so agreeable. And I’d become a tight knot of nerves when he had appeared, edging precariously toward excited. But that made no sense. I had no right to feel even an ounce of excitement at Dennis’s return. Not after everything. But it was there, a soft flutter of wings stroking my stomach as his intense gaze followed me around the bar while I worked. He didn’t try to talk to me. In fact, he made no effort to engage me at all. But his eyes said differently. A million things glittered in them. Apologies I didn’t want to hear. Questions I didn’t want to answer. There was nothing Dennis Hayes could say to me that would fix the past four years.
Even if my forgetful, foolish heart had other ideas.
Finally dragging myself from the comfort of my bed, I stuffed my feet into my slippers and went in search of coffee. My aunt was in her usual spot at the breakfast bar with two mugs of coffee waiting.
“Ready to talk about it?” There was no judgment in her eyes as she pushed a mug toward me.
“I told you last night,” I said, taking the mug and inhaling the rich familiar aroma. “It’s nothing, Aunt Ruby.”
“Didn’t look like nothing from where I was standing. It looked like a whole lot of something.”
“He’s just a friend. From the bar,” I added, the lie rolling off my tongue too easily. But I knew she saw right through me. I guess when you saw people at their worst, you learned their tells. That, and she was an excellent judge of character.
I drained my coffee, waiting for her to launch her attack. Only when she went to reply, I beat her to it. “I think I hear Lilly. I’d better go see to her.”
“We’ll talk about this later.” Her words rolled off my back as I took the stairs two at a time. Anything to avoid having to tell her the truth and open a can of worms I wasn’t ready to deal with.
It was bad enough Dennis had followed me here in the first place, but now Aunt Ruby had seen him. She knew he existed, and if she found out the truth of who he was, I didn’t doubt she’d have something to say on the matter about second chances and serendipity and divine intervention. Aunt Ruby would love nothing more than playing fixer to my broken love story. But I knew better.
I’d learned the hard way that sometimes love wasn’t enough.
I slipped into Lilly’s room. Finding her sleeping peacefully, I let my eyes linger on her soft features. Big round eyes. Cute little button nose. She was all her momma. But watching her didn’t comfort me the way it usually did. My nerves were too shot for that. Dennis hadn’t disappeared back to wherever he’d come from, which meant I had to deal with him. Maybe not tonight. Or tomorrow. Or the day after. But one day, I would have to face him.
And then what?
“ARE YOU OKAY?” AMANDA asked me as we made our way to the food court.
“Just tired.”
My body rarely caught up from three late nights at the bar followed by three early starts with Lilly. Luckily, she usually slept through the night, but she never let me sleep past seven thirty.
“Thank your lucky stars you only have to do three nights. Sometimes, I think it would be easier if I moved in.”
Amanda managed the bar for Luis and spent most of her time there. But not this afternoon. Today, she’d talked me into shopping at the mall. Aunt Ruby was more than willing to watch her ‘little princess’, insisting girls’ time was good for the soul. Judging by the number of bags looped over Amanda’s arms, I figured her soul was good enough for the both of us.
“What are you in the mood for?”
“You decide,” I said, not feeling all that hungry.
“I could kill for something spicy. Tacos?”
“Sure.”
We found a table, and Amanda went to order. The couple opposite us were seated close, his arm around her shoulder as they looked at something on her cell phone. A pang of sadness washed over me. They looked so happy, so in love. I envied them.
“Here.” Amanda pushed a tray in front of me. “It smells so good.”
She sat down and started tucking into her food while I picked at mine. “Not hungry?” she asked, flicking her head to my untouched plate.
I shrugged, and deep lines creased her forehead. “Okay, spit it out. You’ve been moping all afternoon.”
“I’m not moping.”
She gave me a pointed look, pinning me to the chair. Forking some of the beef into my mouth, I smiled.
“Don’t look now but that guy over there is totally checking you out.”
“Manda,” I hissed keeping my eyes low. “Don’t draw attention.”
“What, why not?”
“Because I’m not interested.”
“But—”
“No buts.”
“Fine, but he’s really cu—”
“Amanda! I told you I’m not interested.” And I wasn’t. Dating was the furthest thing from my mind.
“Sorry.” She held up her hands and pouted. “I can’t help it. I’m like Cupid or some shit. And he’s really—”
I reached across the table and slapped my hand over her mouth. Amanda’s eyes widened with surprise, and I sank into the plastic chair, feeling embarrassment heat my cheeks. I didn’t lose it, not like this. But Dennis being in Redmont was messing with my head.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re insufferable?”
She grinned before taking a huge bite of taco and groaning loud enough for the people beside us to frown with disapproval. But I simply smiled because although she was zany and over the top and relentless, I was grateful to have her in my life.
WHEN I GOT BACK FROM the mall, Aunt Ruby and Lilly were reading a story in the armchair. My aunt smiled as I crept through the room, not wanting to disturb them. But she said, “I think someone missed you.”
Lilly was fussing on her lap, her eyes brimming with excitement at my arrival. “Hey, baby.” I went to her, and she held out eager arms. “Did you miss Momma?”
“She’s been fine. We played and had a s
nack, and Mrs. Garth came to visit.”
“Thank you.” I smiled at her and moved to the couch.
“Did you have fun?”
“I guess. I would rather stay at home with this little monster, though.” My fingers gently nipped Lilly’s sides, and she shrieked with delight.
“It’s okay to have some you time, Cassie.” Her lips curved into a sad smile, and my own slipped.
“I know. Amanda can shop for America, though.”
My aunt snickered, pushing out of the chair, but she stumbled back, and I bolted from the couch with Lilly in my arms. “Aunt Ruby?”
“Fine.” She waved me off, reaching behind her to steady herself. “I’m fine. Lost my footing there for a second. Silly old fool.”
“Are you sure you feel okay?”
With a slight shake of her head, she centered herself and stood to her full height. “Fine, see?”
I sank back into the seat, waiting for my pulse to settle. Aunt Ruby was my rock, and if anything happened to her ... well, it didn’t bear thinking about.
Lilly wriggled in my lap, climbing up my chest to attack my face with her little hands. “Hey, baby, what’s the matter?”
She cooed at me, talking her nonsensical baby talk, but the jumble of musical sounds filled my chest to bursting. She was my reason. My life. Dating ... guys ... heartache, they would come and go. But Lilly would always be there.
And with her by my side, I had everything I needed.
8. Dennis
My cell vibrated, pulling me from a restless sleep. “Hello?” I croaked.
“You’re alive then?” My old man’s gruff voice filled the line, and I bristled.
“Yeah.”
“And where the fuck where you last night?”
“I told you, I had some shit to take care of.” My lips mashed together, readying myself for a battle, but it didn’t come.
“Dennis?” His voice softened. Only a fraction, but I heard it.
“Yeah?”
“You know what day it is?”