Fractured Hearts

by SJD Peterson

  Charlie’s chest tightened and she rubbed at the ache. She’d screwed up leaving the way she had. Trevor hadn’t deserved the worry she had put him through, but it had seemed like the right thing to do at the time, the only thing she could think of. She couldn’t stop the tears that slid down her cheeks as she continued to listen to the messages.

  “Next new message.”

  “Morning, babe. Man I miss waking up next to you, but you’ll be pleased to know that I got Kegan back in our bed last night. He finally slept more than a few minutes, though I had to threaten to beat him. Yeah, well, he and I had a good long talk and while he still has a ways to go to get back to himself, I think that if… I mean when you get home, he’ll be right as rain. We love you, babe, take care and be safe for us.”

  “Next new message.”

  “Hey, Charlie…um…Trevor wanted, well we wanted to let you know that… Ah hell, baby, please just come home. I miss you something fierce and Trevor misses you too. I know I’m the one that made you run off. I understand if you don’t want to talk to me and all, but if you could just call Trevor and let him know you’re okay, we sure would feel a lot better. Love you, bichito, please be safe.”

  “Next new message.”

  “Hey, babe! I just wanted to wish you sweet dreams. I finally got Kegan to eat a decent meal tonight, and I think it’s the first time since…well in a long time that it didn’t come back up on him. He’s sleeping for the second night in a row, which is a huge improvement. He doesn’t stay asleep, though. I think he’s like me and needs something soft to wrap around in order to truly let go and sleep. He reached out for you in his sleep earlier and he’s currently snuggled up to me, but has one hell of a frown on his face. I think he knows it’s not you. Just remember we love you. Good night, babe. God, Charlie, please be safe for us.”

  Charlie hit the End button on her phone. She couldn’t listen to what she had done to them anymore. What a selfish bitch she could be at times. Hiding and hurting people because she was too much of a damn coward to open her mouth and talk shit out. If she had been smart, she would have wrapped herself around Kegan, grabbed on tight and held him while he was hurting instead of wounding everyone even more and leaving Trevor to take care of Kegan on his own. With guilt nearly choking her, Charlie grabbed up her things and headed back to the hotel. She had a call to make that was way past overdue.

  After room service had brought her a coffee with Baileys and a side shot of whiskey, Charlie got her nerves under control enough and picked up her cell phone. She threw back the whiskey in one big gulp then hit the Call button. As soon as Trevor picked up after the first ring, Charlie burst into tears. So much for liquid courage.

  “Charlie, baby, is that you? Are you okay?”

  She sniffed and swallowed down the lump in her throat. “Yeah it’s me. Trevor, I’m so sorry I made you worry. I just wasn’t thinking right and ran.” It was all she could say before the sobs overtook her again.

  “Shh, baby, don’t cry. I can’t stand it when you cry and I can’t hold you. It’s going to be okay.”

  Charlie couldn’t stop the sobs that escaped, the tears just fell freely like a warm waterfall down her cheeks.

  “Baby, it’s okay. Tell me what you need and I’ll make it happen.”

  “You,” she cried. “I need you and Kegan and I want to come home.”

  Charlie let everything go with each tear. The pain, fear, self-doubt, she let the tears wash them all away. She didn’t want to live without her cowboys and she couldn’t pretend that losing them wouldn’t affect her. It would destroy her. A life without them would never be a life. Her true happiness could only be found in the strong arms of the men who owned her heart.

  “Baby, get up and answer the door.”

  His statement made her pause for a moment. What was he talking about? “What?”

  “I need you to get up and answer the door.”

  Charlie stood, grabbed a tissue, then wiped her eyes and running nose, sniffling. She heard a light knocking and started toward the door. How had he heard that over her bawling? “Hold on, Trevor, someone’s at the door.”

  “I know. Just open it.”

  She reached out and turned the knob, confused at the shift in the conversation. No sooner had she started to open the door than it burst wide open and big arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a tight embrace.

  Trevor’s voice and scent filled her senses, followed by Kegan’s seconds later as two sets of arms wrapped around her. Charlie nearly collapsed with relief.

  Hands touched, soothed and caressed as two sets of warm lips kissed her tears away. They had come for her? Even though she had run and caused them pain and worry, they had still come for her.

  God, did she deserve them? She wasn’t sure if she did but she knew one thing—she was going to work like hell to make sure she did in the future. There were no words that could express how sorry she was that she’d left or how thankful she was that they had come for her and how much she loved them.

  She let her body, hands and mouth speak for her as she did everything she could to crawl up inside them, to touch and kiss every inch of skin she could reach. It felt right standing there tangled together.

  Kegan pushed his way between her and Trevor, forcing Trevor to wrap himself around her back. He took her face in both of his hands, and she instinctively leaned into his touch. They both stood and stared at one another. It was as if they were trying to convince themselves that the other was truly there. That they weren’t dreaming.

  Kegan broke the silence first. “Saying I’m sorry will never be enough. I’m always going to question how I could possibly ever deserve you. But I want to try.” He stroked her cheeks with trembling fingers. His sincere blue eyes bore into hers. “No promises, Charlie. But I know if you and Trevor are next to me, I can overcome anything. I know you’ve given me more chances than I really deserve, but if you can find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you again, you’ll never regret it.”

  He released her face, took one of her hands, placed it over his heart and covered it with his own. “Please, make this heart complete.”

  With her free hand, Charlie placed Trevor’s hand over hers and Kegan’s. She leaned in, kissed his lips softly and spoke against them, “Now, all our half hearts are complete.”

  Epilogue

  The birthing season had finally wound down to a slower, more manageable pace. It had been an extremely successful season with an explosion of new foals. Only one mare hadn’t made it through the birth of her foal, and although Charlie had been able to save the baby, she still felt a pang of guilt and regret that she hadn’t been able to save its mama.

  She had named the colt Roddy, which meant Strong One, and had taken a personal interest in raising him. He’d shown such strength adapting to life without his mother and a curious wonder of everything around him, yet had a stubborn streak a mile wide and had proven to be quite the little jokester.

  Charlie opened the gate to Roddy’s stall. She stepped in and was instantly pulled forward by the harness she held in her hand. And so the daily game of tug of war began. Laughing, Charlie pulled and twisted but made little ground with the spirited whelp.

  “Oh, you want to make this tough, do you?”

  Roddy responded with tugs and shook the harness until she was forced to let go and watch as he bounded away, head high with a little prance in his step as he showed off the prize he’d won.

  “You are totally incorrigible, young man. Getting your own way and then flaunting and strutting around like a peacock.” Charlie couldn’t help but laugh at the unrepentant pride in Roddy, which reminded her of two other incorrigible men she knew. “You, young man”—she put her hands on her hips and gave the colt a mock scowl—“are as bad as your owners.”

  “Hey, I take offense to that. I don’t believe I have ever pranced around with that much cockiness a day in my life.”

  Charlie turned and gave Kegan the same mock scowl. “You, Mr. T
oo Damn Cute, with your dimpled smile, are the king of getting your way. What have you been teaching my precious little Roddy?”

  Kegan stalked toward her, a sly grin on his full lips and a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Mr. Too Damn Cute, is it?” He continued his way toward her like a predator stalking his prey. “I thought it was Mr. Tall, Cute and Completely in Love?” He moved into the stall, stopped inches from her, then lowered his head until his lips were just a hairsbreadth away from her ear. “But right now, I want to be naughty.”

  Warm, moist lips caressed the sensitive skin below her ear and moved downward. Charlie nearly melted from the sensation and a moan moved past her lips as her body responded instantly to the need Kegan always brought out in her with just the simplest of touches. “How naughty?” she whispered as she surrendered to him.

  Strong arms wrapped around her and lifted her off her feet as she was pulled into a tight embrace and Kegan’s lips descended over hers—nipping and demanding entrance.

  Charlie opened wide and he dove in, exploring her mouth with a hunger that left her reeling. He sought her tongue with his, kissing her hard, with one hand on the back of her neck to control the kiss as he massaged her backside with the other.

  He broke the kiss and pulled back. He dropped his hand from her neck then moved it to her waist and pressed her tighter against the hard length of his erection. “Gonna show you just how naughty I can be.” He kissed her again as he began walking out of the stall. Oh, she was looking forward to finding out how naughty Kegan could be.

  In the last month since she’d returned from her little adventure, she’d given up her apartment, moved to Trev-Ke Ranch and given herself completely to her cowboys.

  They in turn had given themselves completely to her. They still had some work to do on Kegan’s doubts and Charlie’s own insecurities, but once again, Trevor had become the bridge between them. They were all learning to keep open and honest communication, the most important tool they had.

  Charlie was still a little uncomfortable about how they were perceived in the community, especially since her men had insisted upon renaming the ranch Trev-Char-Ke, letting everyone know she was permanently sandwiched right between them. She wasn’t bothered enough by it to change a single aspect of their relationship, though. What they believed and brought to her life was more important than any sneer or rejection she might receive from anyone in ‘society’.

  Charlie was jolted out of her musings and laid across a blanket-covered bale of hay, her wrists wrapped in soft leather reins.

  “I’ll show you Trevor’s not the only one who can be naughty. I’m going to bind you so you’re not allowed to touch, only feel.” Kegan flipped her over onto her stomach and his warm hands caressed her hips as he pulled her up onto her knees. “This pretty little ass is just at the right height so I can take my time. Torture you nice and slow.”

  Charlie looked back over her shoulder as she heard a zipper being pulled down and the clank of a buckle being pulled free. She watched through lust-filled eyes as Kegan took the cell phone from his hip, laid it next to her on the bale, then began to slowly remove his clothes. He told her in a deep and husky voice exactly what he was going to do to her until she was hoarse from screaming in pleasure.

  Rough, callused hands caressed her trembling thighs as he bent to lick his way up her spine from base to nape. “I love doing all kinds of naughty things to this luscious body of yours.” Firm fingers massaged her ass as his wicked tongue continued its assault on her flushed skin, the steady sound of her unrestrained need loud in the quiet of the barn.

  “Now, if I just had something to keep these legs spread wide for me,” Kegan whispered.

  “Will this work?” Trevor asked as he walked into the barn naked, a predatory grin on his face, a long red rope in one hand.

  Kegan chuckled. “Oh, yeah. Let’s get naughty.”

  Also available from Totally Bound Publishing:

  Twice Upon a Blue Moon

  Helena Maeve

  Excerpt

  Chapter One

  The dashboard clock read one fifty-two. Sadie’s hour had elapsed by two minutes. There was no sign of her when Hazel glanced in the side mirror. She craned her neck over the seat, ignoring the frayed upholstery as she often did, just in case the angle of the mirror was playing tricks. No such luck. The rain-spattered sidewalk was bare of pedestrians.

  Across the street, four-seven-one Aulden Way loomed like the homeless—half menacingly lost in shadow, half dolefully run-down.

  Hazel drew her lower lip between her teeth. It was just two minutes. Sadie probably got distracted, or maybe adventure time with Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome ran over schedule.

  Or, failing that, she was already dead and the longer Hazel dawdled, the more time Tall, Dark and Handsome had to dispose of the body. Her insides roiled at the thought. Too much CSI. Sadie’s track record with men slanted more toward the chronically unable to commit than the Norman Bates types.

  Sadie’s probably fine, Hazel told herself. The upholstery screeched as she twisted away.

  She made a valiant attempt to turn back to her book, defying the kernel of panic blooming in her gut. Her eyes had just begun to glaze over the spidery print when a door clanged open somewhere behind the car.

  Hazel twisted in her seat, paperback flying from her hands to nestle somewhere on the floor of the Volvo. A huddled pair stood outside number four-seven-one, zipping up their jackets as they conversed in low voices. Hazel took in their beanies and distressed, low-slung jeans and glanced away again. Too short, too frumpy. No ankle-breaking stilettos.

  Hazel settled back in the seat, heart in her throat and hand on the pepper spray can dangling from the car key. The pair neared at a sluggish pace until eventually they passed the Volvo. They were holding hands.

  Hazel watched them until they disappeared from view. Then she tore the keys out of the ignition and shoved open the car door. Instantly, the night chill rushed in to meet her. She stomped her way to the brownstone with a shiver as the icy wind seeped under her clothes. The denim jacket was poor cover from the cold front that had rolled in over the city.

  At least it’s stopped raining. She tested the front door. Small mercies. The door swung open with the barest nudge.

  Two, three years ago, easy entry into an apartment building on this street would’ve been unthinkable. Long live the yuppies and their cash. Security cameras glared down at her from the ceiling. The hallway lamps all worked, too, progressively casting their warm glow over bare brick walls as Hazel started up the stairs. She couldn’t see more than the next story up, but the motion sensors faithfully tracked her steps until she hit the third floor.

  Sadie had mentioned that Tall, Dark and Handsome lived in three-B. Judging by the lettering on the doorbell, he also went by ‘Best’. Hazel folded her fingers around the pepper spray can as she raised her other fist to the metal door.

  Two loud raps tolled like claps of thunder. She winced with each one.

  Seconds passed before the door clanged and unlatched. A dark-haired man stood in the gap wearing dark slacks and a white shirt—a Hugo Boss magazine spread made flesh. He cocked his head, gaze gliding down her body. “Can I…help you?”

  He didn’t seem to know what to do with Hazel’s jean and jean outfit. Good. She was the Hardy to Sadie’s Laurel, except blonde and pear-shaped. Where Sadie was slim and angular, Hazel strongly identified with the titular character in Kung-Fu Panda.

  She could and would gladly sit on Mr. Best if he tried to stand in her way.

  “Hazel!” Sadie’s voice rang out from somewhere inside the loft. She came into view a moment later, hopping on one foot as she struggled to slot her red pump onto the other. “Hey. What’re you doin’ here?” Whenever she let her guard down, Sadie’s accent came through loud and clear. Hazel could practically smell the hay bales.

  Hazel tried not to squirm under their combined scrutiny. “It’s been an hour.” You were taking too long.

 
; Best backed out of the doorway with a flourish. “Would you like to come in?” He flicked a hand in invitation, a soft smile playing across his bowed lips. “I make excellent margaritas.”

  “No, thanks. I’m only here to pick her up.”

  “Ah.”

  Sadie finally got her shoes on. “Sorry, we kinda lost track of time.” She pulled down the hem of her leather skirt. She didn’t seem to be sporting any bruises. “Didn’t we, darlin’?” Her dimpled smiles were known for melting hearts. It was a shame Sadie had a habit of squandering them on useless tools who never seemed to treat her right.

  “It was an absolute pleasure,” Best replied. The kiss he planted on Sadie’s temple was tender enough to make Hazel want to look away. She didn’t.

  Sadie giggled girlishly and slithered out of his arms. “Maybe I’ll see you around?”

  “You have my number.” Best trained a pair of chocolate brown eyes on Hazel. “Maybe next time you’ll come in for a drink… I didn’t catch your name.”

  “I didn’t give it.”

  Hazel started for the stairs, content to disregard Sadie’s scandalized expression. She heard her apologize as she pushed past the door of the brownstone.

  Sadie caught up to her on the sidewalk. “What the hell was that?”

  “What did you want me to say? Sure, we’ll have that threesome you’re fantasizing about?”

  “Oh my God,” Sadie groaned. “When did he say that?”

  “Did you miss the part where he was flirting with me while you were standing right fucking there?”

  “He was just being nice,” Sadie scoffed, flinging her hands up to the heavens.

  Hazel did her best to ignore Sadie as she slid behind the wheel. It was too cold and too late to shout at each other in the street. Sadie slammed the passenger side door shut as she climbed in.

  “Why do you have to be such a weirdo about this stuff?”