A Certain Intimacy

by Blythe Stone

  “I’m awake, more kissing please.”

  “Mmm,” Nat growled, pushing her body forward to get Iris to lay down.

  All it took was that action for Iris to be completely turned on again. Nat ended up lower on her body than she needed to be so Iris tugged her up and kissed her, cupping her face and letting her finger slide into Nat’s hair.

  She scooted up further on the bed and wrapped both of her legs around Nat’s waist. They kept on kissing, deeper and more intense, exploring. Iris knew Nat had to be able to feel her wetness against her skin. It didn’t take much from Nat to make it happen.

  Love-drunk, Nat panted. “Is it okay if I taste you again?”

  She missed the sex, missed the taste of a woman's sweetness. Iris's sounds were turning her on so easily and she wanted to live in the moment with her.

  “More than okay,” Iris said.

  She gulped in air, preparing herself for what Nat was about to do.

  Nat kissed her mouth deeper, slipping her fingers inside her folds to slowly rub in the slick wetness. Her own sex was dripping. Going down on a girl and having a girl’s tongue in her mouth made her cum. She didn't need much.

  Taking was fun though, especially when offered.

  When the kiss ended, Iris was making the same sounds as she did before when they were outside. Nat heard her name mixed in with other things. Iris clawed lightly at Nat’s shoulders and groaned. She needed Nat inside of her.

  Nat could feel it but she wanted to taste. A greedy feeling sprang from within. She kissed down her body and stopped between her legs, pushing Iris's thighs up and slipping her tongue deep inside her.

  The bed made Iris's body bounce just right when Nat pushed inside her again.

  Nat didn't care if this was kinda sudden or kind of weird. Usually she’d wait a few times before trying different things. But she wanted to taste Iris and she knew she'd cum harder if she did it this way.

  She knew she wasn’t the only one who was going to cum harder when Iris’s noises became very loud. They weren’t shouts so much as musical outbursts to show how Nat was making her feel. They built to a crescendo and faded until Nat hit special spots again and punched the pleasure from within.

  After a while Nat licked up Iris's sex and sucked a few generous hickies at the back of her thigh as she sunk two fingers into her wetness and began to go deeper in and pleasure her easily.

  The view Nat had was more than incredible. Iris lay below her in the midst of her climactic build. Bare chested and beautiful, fists holding tight to the clean white sheets, eyes shut up tight, hair splayed out on the pillow.

  “Yes, yes, yes,” Iris growled with each thrust.

  She thrust her hips down into Nat’s hand, not satisfied until the explosion happened and she was flying inside of her body. Such an odd, pulsing sensation that she’d rarely felt. She felt the resulting release of cum from her sex.

  She stopped moving and moved her hands above her head in an attempt to help her catch her breath.

  “Fuck… Nat,” Iris huffed. “That was insane.”

  Nat hovered over her a second, watching intently and feeling the rush. She slipped her fingers out and teased Iris by lightly slapping her opening a couple of times.

  Iris felt the bed dent when Nat laid down exhausted by her side.

  She immediately turned over onto her side so she could drape half of her body over Nat. She wanted the contact to help bring herself down. It would be a more pleasant landing this way.

  “You made me all warm and fuzzy again,” Iris mumbled.

  She rested her cheek on Nat’s shoulder and sighed.

  Nat turned her face and pressed her lips to Iris's forehead. “Thanks for letting me,” she whispered, almost sad now because it made her so overwhelmingly sappy to have someone to love.

  It could be short but it wasn't meaningless, not to Nat.

  “I have to get up in a second,” Iris groaned. “Bathroom, water,” she grumbled.

  “Okay,” Nat said, accepting it. She was ready to sleep now but only because she'd exhausted herself.

  “Don’t wanna. You’ll have to push me off the bed,” Iris complained.

  “Don't wanna,” Nat confessed. She breathed her in slowly and allowed her eyes to finally close.

  “Ugh,” Iris grunted, forcing herself to sit up and slide off of the bed. “Don’t move, I’ll be right back,” she urged, rushing to the en suite bathroom.

  She took care of what she needed to, rummaged around in Nat’s toiletries to use her mouth wash, and drank some water from the tap. Not very elegant but dehydration was not acceptable. She splashed some water on her face and wiped it with a hand towel.

  She felt better already but when she went back into the bedroom she saw Nat laying on the bed with her eyes closed. She looked so beautiful and peaceful. Iris was torn between watching her and snuggling up to her. She gave herself a moment more of looking before she padded to the bed and got back in, nudging Nat’s body until she let her cuddle back into place.

  “Better,” she said, pressing her face into Nat’s chest. “Much better,” she murmured.

  “Mmmm,” Nat hummed, kissing her head and squeezing her tight.

  “Do you have an alarm set?” Iris asked.

  “Mhmm,” Nat breathed.

  “Good thing our call times are the same,” Iris said, smiling and kissing Nat’s chest.

  Nat breathed deeply and pet her.

  “Night,” Iris whispered.

  She nuzzled Nat’s collarbone and sighed, letting herself fall into a sleepy state. Everything was perfect. She felt safe, warm, and satiated. That allowed her to forget that this was so different from her norm. She fell asleep after a few minutes and her body relaxed into the bed.

  Tomorrow was a good day to deal with the meaning of what was happening here.

  Chapter 8

  Unexpected Heaviness

  Mornings were not exactly a treat for Natalie. She wasn't as bad as some people but she had the unfortunate reality of always waking up a millisecond after her alarm. The result was to often wake up angry and with the urge to chuck her alarm as hard as she could against an adjoining wall, no matter the space.

  The phone barely had the chance at a full ring and Nat was up and swiping at the screen.

  Stupid noise always jarred her so badly, it was the worst way to wake.

  Her heart pounded and the panic began to subside. That was when she noticed the very beautiful and extra naked woman who rest almost peacefully beneath her form.

  Iris muttered in her sleep and shifted closer, her nose wrinkling in annoyance. Her breathing evened out and Nat could tell she’d fallen deeper into sleep again.

  It was cute. She was adorable.

  Nat propped her head up on her hand and ran her fingers through Iris's hair.

  The day was going to be long but at least they didn't have stunts to work.

  She got up from the bed and went to get some water and turn on the shower.

  When she returned, Iris was laying spread eagle on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and sighing deeply.

  “What are you doing,” Nat laughed.

  “Trying to wake up and contemplating my life,” Iris said. She turned on her side and propped the side of her head on her hand.

  “Turns out the front is cute too,” Iris flirted.

  “Hey,” Nat laughed and beamed. Crawling up onto the bed, she got close enough to lay beside her. “I can get used to this.”

  “What? Me telling you that you’re cute? You will if I’m around,” Iris answered.

  “Waking up to you being sweet,” Nat explained. Iris kept hitting on her and it was odd since she’d already succeeded and didn’t feel the need to stop.

  “Oh, no reason you shouldn’t get used to it then,” Iris said. She snuggled into Nat’s side and closed her eyes. “It’s nice. You helped me sleep well for the first time in forever.”

  “Yeah?” Nat asked, curious. Did women not sleep well in Nashvill
e?

  “Mmhmm, I usually wake up at least a few times no matter what time I go to bed."

  “That sounds terrible,” Nat pouted. She reached out and tugged at Iris's hip, pushing her thumb against her hipbone.

  “I’m used to it. It was nice to sleep so well though. I’m so gonna crash later but it was very much worth it."

  Iris put her hand over Nat’s stomach and scratched lightly.

  “Huh-” Nat bit out, affected.

  “Uh oh, did I find a weakness?” Iris asked.

  “Uh yeah. My entire body,” Nat laughed.

  Iris reached down and rubbed the front of Nat’s knee.

  “Even here?” She asked.

  “If it's you touching me,” Nat sighed. They had chemistry, more than Natalie thought they would have.

  “I’ll test this out next time and it’s very hot when you say things like that.”

  “Test it out all you want,” Nat smiled all embarrassed and rolled her eyes. She stood up off the bed even though she didn't want to. “I'm gonna shower real quick. You can come if you want. No pressure.”

  “I definitely need a shower. Let’s go,” Iris said.

  Iris was different now but just a little. She was lighter and more open. Her walls weren’t completely gone. It was far too soon for that. Nat couldn’t know if it was because of what had happened between them or if yesterday she had just been in a new environment.

  They walked through the empty space, stopping short of the shower. Steam was rising. Nat pulled the curtain back and offered out her hand. Iris took it and stepped into the shower, holding on to make sure Nat got in safely afterwards.

  The water flowed down in a stream, Nat led Iris back until it hit just over her hair. She pressed her back into the front of Nat’s body and reached for her hands to wrap around them both.

  Nat shut her eyes and held her, feeling the warmth of company, a thing she'd missed more than she could ever say. It hurt that she needed someone. A big part of her didn't want to be this way.

  She rested her chin on Iris's shoulder. This was a lot. All of it was. But Nat had never really had it happen this way, so pure. Even the part where she had asked if they should be official was an anomaly. Grown-ups usually weren’t so sweet. There was way too much posturing, way too much silence.

  “I guess we should do the cleaning part,” Iris said, reaching for Nat’s shampoo.

  Nat stood still while Iris carefully cleaned her hair with her hands like Olivia used to.

  Nat smirked, it was a little much but she tried to handle it. She slipped herself under the stream and let it all rinse.

  They took turns after that, any excuse to touch each other. When they finally got out Nat had this off feeling she didn't like.

  They dressed in her room and had to rush to get down to the car.

  Nat knew she was being too quiet but she couldn't bring herself to make small talk today. It did cross her mind that waking up at a normal time and not having to go to be on set could completely alter her mood in a huge way.

  It also crossed her mind that her stomach hurt now when she thought about Olivia.

  A huge part of her problem was not knowing how to move on without it feeling like betrayal. Or worse, like she was losing her or giving up.

  “Are you okay? Is this weirding you out?” Iris asked.

  “What? No,” Nat said, immediately worried. “I mean. Yeah, I'm okay. It's just early.” She wanted Iris to be closer to her. “Come ‘ere,” she said, tugging her close. “I wanna hold you.”

  “Sorry, just ignore that I said that, please.”

  Her cheeks flushed red and she let Nat pull her in.

  “We need coffee or whatever your preferred morning beverage is,” Iris laughed.

  “I love coffee,” Nat said, wrapping Iris up in her arms. She rested her chin on Iris's shoulder and felt a lot better. Being cuddly with a super sweet girl was something she missed. “Can I buy you some?”

  “Sure, that would be nice,” Iris replied.

  “What's your favorite place. Let me take you,” Nat asked.

  “I don't know the city very well. I've only been here to play a few shows and we never went very far for coffee. Let's go somewhere you like,” Iris suggested.

  She put her hands on Nat's arms and squeezed a little.

  “You're very sweet,” Iris said.

  Nat sniffed her neck and hummed. “There's a good place close.”

  She pressed a button and asked the driver to take a detour. Pretty soon after, the car took a right turn.

  “What kind of coffee do you like?” Iris asked.

  “Mm. All kinds. The standard though. Can't really beat a vanilla latte.” Nat kissed Iris's shoulder. “What about you?”

  “A cortado or a pour over with soy.”

  “Mmm.. Cortado,” Natalie hummed.

  “Exxxxactly,” Iris drawled.

  She looked out the window and drew soft patterns on Nat's arm while they passed businesses and people walking on the sidewalks.

  “What's it feel like to be here,” Nat wondered. “Are you stressed out in Nashville?”

  “Sometimes. I only go there for the holidays now but I'm more at home there than I am in my apartment in L.A. Here it’s like being on tour but playing the same city over and over, without the music.”

  “I get that,” Nat said. “I have to travel a lot too.”

  “Do you come here much?” Iris asked.

  “Pretty often. Sometimes I'm on the other side. Canada has a lot of the lower budget stuff so I have a soft spot for anything that happens up here. Production is a lot sweeter.”

  “Me too. Speaking from the perspective of someone who only watched the movies till now anyway. Where do you call home?” Iris asked.

  “I dunno,” Nat thought. Olivia's parents’ house?

  “Do you own a place?” Iris asked.

  “Uh. I've been putting it off. I travel so much. It doesn't make much sense for me to own. People keep offering me accommodations in different cities. It's a unique situation. I mean, I technically own my mom's house but I don't like going back there.”

  “That's understandable, I should probably sell my apartment since I never use it but it's easier than staying in a hotel,” Iris said.

  She looked back at Nat and smiled.

  “I figure we should save tragic family stories for later but I do want to listen if you ever feel like telling me why you don't want to go back to your mom's.”

  “My relationship with her is pretty much unmendable,” Nat said sadly. “She’s never really cared about me. I’ve always been some pawn to use to get her whatever she wants. But whatever, you’re right, that’s really sad.”

  If the sadness was bad before it was getting worse now for Nat. Sometimes life was a little too much for her and there wasn’t much she could do to mend things or fix them up. That’s why acting happened and why she took off to other countries without so much as a care.

  “It's sad that she's selfish like that and manipulation can be a form of abuse,” Iris said.

  “I was a kid actor,” Nat said. “A model too. That’s how I started.” Nat didn’t exactly want to get into it but it would have to happen anyway. It kind of surprised her that Iris didn’t know much about her. People usually studied up, which was also weird.

  “I remember that from your filmography. Was acting your mom's idea?”

  “I can’t even remember,” Nat said. “Does it even matter?”

  Kids want to make their parents happy, they want to be loved. If acting was the thing that made her life so crazy when she was a kid it wasn’t exactly a good thing.

  “Let's talk about something else. I don't want to make you sad,” Iris frowned.

  “I’m sorry,” Nat sighed. “I woke up wrong today. I literally threw the phone off the table. This isn’t you. You’re amazing.”

  “Don't apologize to me for feelings. I get those days or weeks or even months where I just feel all wrong and I live in sun
glasses,” Iris replied.

  Nat nuzzled into her.

  “I'm here for whatever,” Iris said.

  “Baby, you’re so cute,” Nat whispered, slipping her fingers in against Iris’s. “I’m so happy about this. I know I’m having issues about other things but this is so… Unexpected, and just.. I’m really happy about it okay?”

  “It isn't something that happens. I'm with you totally. It's caught us both by surprise. I don't doubt that you're happy about it. I'm happy too and surprised at how I'm dealing with it. I'm pretty sure we are in similar places,” Iris smiled.

  “I just don’t want to stress you out,” Nat realized. “People think I’m this one way and I’m a really boring person when it comes down to it. I lost Olivia because she thought I was someone else.”

  How do you even explain that to someone.

  “What do you mean? Who do they think you are?” Iris asked.

  “Someone else,” Nat repeated. “Someone cooler. Someone sexier. Someone who doesn’t have real thoughts or real problems. Unreal,” she said, trying not to take it directly to heart. “Olivia didn’t believe that I loved her as much as I did. She didn’t think a person like me could love her. And I don’t even know what that means. A person like me. The longer I live, the more alone I am.”

  “Natalie, that sounds like it was about how she saw herself more than it was about mistaking who you were.” Iris moved so she could look Nat in the eyes. “I don't think you're anyone different than the person you've been since I met you. I don't know what cool means. I just know you were sweet to me as soon as you met me and everything after that has proven that my instinct about you was right. I like you. I don't give a shit about anything else,” Iris said.

  Nat’s cheek twitched near the corner of her lips. Not even Iris could really understand what she had been through in life. Her journey was different. Those were the cards she was dealt.

  “You're not going to find a more boring person than me. I get that people don't see you. That's why I stay away from them. They think you're supposed to be one way or another because of what you do and who you hang out with. They forget that people like us are human, full of feelings and issues just like everyone else.”