A Certain Intimacy

by Blythe Stone

  “Babe, stop,” Natalie asked, getting worked up. “I’ll cry. Please.” Her hand was getting sweaty for no reason.

  “Don't cry.” Iris cupped Nat's cheeks and kissed her softly on the lips. “Unless it'll help and if so then go for it. I always carry extra mascara and wipes for emotional hot mess emergencies,” Iris smiled.

  Nat laughed and looked at her. “No,” she chuckled. “I’m fine. Please stop.”

  “I promise to stop,” Iris said.

  She lowered her hands and rested against Natalie, looking away to give her a little space.

  “Are you upset with me?” Nat asked, a little confused. She knew that she, herself, had been confusing.

  “No! Not at all. Things are complicated. We both have weird lives. I promise I’m not upset. I’m the opposite. I like you more now,” Iris confessed, biting her bottom lip.

  “Hey,” Nat said, careful with her. She pulled her face close and kissed the side of it. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “You’re wonderful.”

  The car pulled into the parking lot of the coffee place.

  Chapter 9

  Coffee Shop Conversations

  Iris tried to tamp down on the feelings. They had opened Pandora’s Box and they still had to work today. She thought about sneaking away between scenes to call Stan but she didn’t want to tell him yet. He wouldn’t like it.

  He was a little old school about dating people you were working with, it was a bit out-of-sync with the business he chose. His advice would be to cool it with Nat, at least till after the filming was over. That wasn’t an option now. One night and she was ready to see what happened.

  Nat was different. Everyone said that about people. She was different to Iris and she had to find out more.

  They arrived at the coffee shop and she and Nat got out of the car. Iris paused to ask the driver if he wanted anything and then they went inside. The place was a local one, comfortable and wide open. There was local artwork on the walls and eclectic decor.

  There wasn’t a line so they walked straight up to the counter and Iris glanced at the menu before focusing on the barista.

  “I’ll have a cortado,” Iris said.

  “Okay, sure, anything else? A muffin or a cookie?” The barista asked.

  “No, I’m good. Nat?”

  Iris reached back and took Nat’s hand, stepping aside so she could order.

  “Vanilla latte, please,” Nat smiled.

  “Sure,” the barista said.

  She put the order in on her screen and then gave them the total. Nat pulled her phone out and paid.

  Iris walked down to the other end of the bar where you were supposed to pick up the drinks, still holding onto Nat’s hand. She stopped and looked at the various lids and napkin choices. When she looked back, Nat was watching her. She bumped her shoulder into Nat’s and smiled.

  “What?” Iris asked.

  “Nothing,” Nat teased.

  Iris rolled her eyes and grabbed a few napkins. She usually had a few on her just in case. She tended to eat with absent-minded abandon and things would end up on her shirt.

  The barista brought them their drinks and they went back to the car. Iris got in first this time and scooted to the far end of the seat. Nat got in beside her and once they were ready, the driver pulled back out onto the road and they had another twenty minutes to ride before they were back on set.

  “Thank you for the coffee,” Iris said.

  “Do you like it?” Nat wondered. “You can try mine.”

  “It’s perfect and sure,” Iris said.

  She took Nat’s cup and tried a sip, watching Nat’s face as she did. The foam gave way to steamed milk and then the nice slightly bitter finish of the espresso. There wasn’t too much vanilla syrup in it, just enough for flavor and a little sweetness. She smiled and handed it back.

  “It’s very good. The best I’ve had in North America.”

  “Damn. That's some high praise,” Nat smiled.

  “It is. I’ve had a lot of coffee in different places.”

  “Still,” Nat said, leaning forward and kissing her. The coffee didn't even matter. All she wanted to do was go back to her apartment and crawl into bed with this girl.

  “Mmm, you kiss well,” Iris commented.

  “I know what I want,” Natalia said. She checked her gaze and then leaned in to kiss Iris again. Any time with Iris kept Natalie from dwelling on her past. You can't exactly buy a thing that therapeutic. Nat missed Olivia but she would always miss Olivia. Avery and Olivia were the closest she had to real family and she needed to keep it that way otherwise she was just floating on a rock completely alone and without a friend or a tether. The circumstance was insanely precarious and people, like Iris, they would need a little time to wake up to that and really understand.

  “I'm glad that you kissed me then,” Iris said.

  There were a lot of ways she meant that. Something told her, bliss was short-lived. She would always second-guess anything that brought her happiness. Ellie made sure of that when she broke her heart. Iris settled into the seat and looked out the window again, wishing for her sunglasses. The world was starting to get a little too bright.

  “Maybe we should sneak off set and do some touristy stuff.”

  She turned to look at Nat. “That sounds really fun. I don't do that enough. Maybe when they're doing Michael's solo scenes."

  Being out and doing something normal sounded good. If it wasn't Nat making the suggestion she wouldn't have agreed.

  “I'm tempted to steal your time,” Nat realized. “If you need time to rehearse and be alone let me know. I know this role is important to you. You deserve for it to go well.”

  For Nat, the truth set in that they'd have to be sitting and existing apart very soon. Last night's sex had been fantastic, Nat could still taste Iris in her throat if she wanted to.

  Now was the test. People always said all kinds of things when they were alone with you or making love. Nat hated this part. Too many people had let her down, insulted her, or even worse, completely ghosted her. Some people just wanted to fuck her, others just wanted to use her. She wanted to think that Iris wouldn't do that but Iris obviously had some of the blind adoration that came with being starstruck.

  Though her past was complex Nat sometimes longed to go back to it, just to feel like someone really loved her again.

  “Same goes for you. I’ll be stingy if you let me but tell me if you need time,” Iris said.

  That’s what usually happened with Iris. She was too much for people when she finally let herself adore someone. They got to know her and thought she was aloof or fulfilled the stereotypes. She wasn’t a player or a serial dater. When she liked someone, that was it.

  “I’ll probably need to workout a lot soon. My agent let me know about the stunts and the specialist they’re sending. Sounds like a couple long days.” But Nat didn’t want to push Iris away. “I just mean, you can tell me. If you need time. It’s okay.”

  “I will but I know how I am and I’m more likely to smother you than the opposite so that’s why I said that,” Iris said.

  She couldn’t read if this was just what Nat said or if she was trying to be subtle about letting Iris know something.

  “The stunts are going to be fun though. You’ve got more than me and I’m a little jealous."

  “I want you to smother me,” Nat beamed, embarrassed. Her cheeks flushed red. Smothering would be good, an addicting distraction. “And yeah, I’m excited. My agents hate when I have stunt-work but I love it.”

  “Your agents should be happy that you’re starring in a badass movie that’s gonna make them lots of money. You’re very physically capable if I’m using last night as an example,” Iris grinned.

  She leaned over, put her head against Nat’s shoulder, and turned her face so she could smell her skin. What Nat said made her so warm inside, so happy, she just hoped it didn’t change after she let herself go.

  “My agents would rather I take roles
that are safe. As long as I don’t ruin my body, my career will only get better.”

  “Then we better take care of your body,” Iris flirted.

  Nat sighed wistfully. “I really wish we could go back to the hotel and makeout all day. That’s all I wanna do.” She watched Iris openly.

  “I know, it sounds so much better than standing in the fake rain and running from invisible AI soldiers,” Iris stared.

  Iris had two scenes to film with Nat and Michael and then she was done. Michael had one without them and that was the only time they could really get away. It always took a while to set up and shoot something. They could sneak off and take a lunch or just do something fun. She liked that idea. She also liked that, at least for now, Nat was all hers.

  “But we get to have fun later. You can show me around. I want to see places you like,” Iris said.

  “Mmmm,” Nat hummed. “Can’t wait for that.” For once, she was actually excited about her day in a happy way. Her heart skipped along instead of just thudding. The sooner they got to be alone again the better.

  Chapter 10

  Delays & Heartaches

  A long, almost brutal, day. Nat had hoped to go exploring with Iris but the director kept her late to work on a scene long into the night. The worst part of it all, Nat didn’t have Iris’s number in her phone so she couldn’t text her a warning.

  Rain beat down on the ground outside as Nat left her trailer to at least attempt to find Iris again. Cold, wet, and dark. Her phone rang.

  “Hey! Oh my god. Are you alive?”

  “Hm?” Nat stopped in her tracks, not caring at all that the rain was most certainly drenching her. “Olivia, hi.”

  “Hey,” Olivia laughed. Nat could hear her smiling through the phone. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. Busy girl.”

  “Yeah,” Nat laughed. She looked around. A few people were rushing to hurry a ladder inside the building far away. Probably, so it wouldn’t rust.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah, yeah. I’m good,” Nat said, distracted. “Long day.”

  “Apparently.”

  There was silence. Nat held on to it. So did Olivia.

  “Anyway. It’s good to hear your voice. I was just checking in.” A lot of times, Nat told long stories about her film days. They checked in a lot. But Nat felt frazzled today.

  “Thanks,” Nat said. “I’m um. I just got out actually.”

  “Oh my god, it’s so late sweetie.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “I hate that.”

  Nat could hear Olivia’s fears through the line of the phone.

  “Please don’t worry. I have my driver. It’s gonna be fine. I’m just beat.”

  “Okay,” Olivia sighed gently.

  “How’s Avery?”

  “Oh, I dunno actually. She’s late too. This actually sucks,” Olivia laughed.

  “Yeah,” Nat smiled.

  “Do you wanna stay on the line until your driver comes?”

  “Uh, no. Thanks though. I have to go check on something.”

  “Okay. Text me when you’re safe. I don’t like not knowing.”

  “Okay,” Nat laughed. “Stop worrying.”

  “No,” Olivia teased.

  “I miss you,” Nat said.

  “Miss you too,” Olivia waited.

  “Kay well. It’s raining. A lot, so…”

  “Oh shoot. Yeah. Good night sweetie.”

  “Good night.”

  Nat hung up the phone and stared down at it in her hand. Streams of water were covering her now.

  “Shit,” she muttered, looking up at the trailers and just knowing. There was no way Iris was still here. “Fuck,” she muttered, hurt. She walked to Iris’s trailer anyway and knocked on the door. The rain was so loud. Nat unlatched the door and stepped in to look inside. At first, she saw nothing, just the normal set-up that most actors got, a fully functional temporary home.

  When she walked further in, she saw a foot and then the leg attached to it. She immediately relaxed and rolled her eyes at herself. The rain had drenched her, head-to-toe. Her hair was all soaked and she looked like a mess. “Fuck,” she muttered again.

  Iris lay on her couch, obscured partially by the table, but when Nat stepped closer she could see her full body. She lay on her back, head to the side, facing Natalie. Her hair was in a loose bun and she had on a worn black cardigan over a tank top. One side of the cardigan had fallen from her shoulder to reveal the tank top’s strap. Large rimmed red glasses sat askew on her face.

  Adorable in her slumber, all innocent and quiet, Iris had a book in one hand, like she had been reading and just fallen asleep. The cover had closed over her hand and Nat could see the title. Her legs were covered by comfy looking dark grey joggers and her feet were bare, the nails painted a deep purple.

  Nat paused a moment, observing her. Fear pricked her a little but Nat knew that it shouldn’t. Iris was obviously waiting here, waiting for her. She walked to the couch and knelt in front of Iris on the ground. Using her hand, she smoothed her fingers down Iris’s cheek and attempted to speak to her. “Hey,” she tried.

  Iris’s eyes blinked open and she cleared her throat. “Hi,” she said and yawned, covering her mouth with one hand. “I guess I fell asleep.” Nat reached for the hand on her cheek and covered it with her own.

  “You didn’t have to wait. I know this was ridiculous,” Nat said feeling guilty. She bit her bottom lip and felt the sting of all the hours she had wished she could call.

  “Aww, babe, of course I waited. You’re sweet though,” Iris smiled at her and petted Nat’s wet hand. “I missed you. Did you get the scene done?”

  Endearments didn’t usually apply for her but Iris let it slip and she didn’t regret it. She just hoped it wasn’t a sign that she was in too deep already. Ridiculous, since she definitely was.

  “Yeah,” Nat said, soaking in Iris’s face and her eyes. “I just felt bad. I wanted to call you and tell you but I didn’t have your number.”

  “What? Oh, duh, I asked Jenny to get yours but then I sent her back to her hotel for the day and I forgot that she didn’t get it and I meant to come over and watch you guys wrap up but I fell asleep. Here, gimme your number and I’ll text you."

  Nat was still a little frozen. The day was a lot and she was actually really tired. She looked down at the ground and then back up, staring a second. Then, she leaned in and kissed Iris’s lips tenderly. Flutters of butterflies traveled up beneath her chest and she felt them alive. “Uh… Here,” she said, handing her phone over to her.

  Iris shifted her glasses, so they were on straight, and took the phone. She was not at all satisfied with one kiss. She needed more but she also needed to control herself. “You’re soaked and you look cold. Do you want some dry clothes? You better take some of mine. I don’t want you to get sick,” Iris said as she typed her number into Nat’s phone and sent a text to herself.

  “There,” she handed the phone back and frowned. Nat looked drained. Her makeup was smudged at the corner of her left eye and she was a little pale. “Come on, I’ve got some yoga pants and a long sleeved t-shirt. We can figure out what to do from there."

  Nat got up slowly and followed Iris around. Her muscles were sore from the long day. Maybe it was playing rewind, over at over. Maybe it had broken her.

  Their trailers were similar so it wasn’t very mysterious here but Nat liked to see that Iris was at least comfortable.

  Iris pulled some clothes out of a tiny hall closet. Jenny had brought her a bag over since she hadn’t been back to the hotel last night. She had a few changes of clothes and she was happy to lend Nat something to wear. It would give her pleasure to see Nat in stuff and it was needed.

  When Nat stood in front of her, Iris frowned and started to help her take off her drenched shirt and then her wet leggings. It was so quiet inside compared to out. She put the dry clothes on that she was loaning her. After, Iris watched Nat for a second before wrapping her up in
a hug and rubbing her back.

  “You look so cold and sad. Do you want to go back to your place?” She asked. She tried to give Nat some of her warmth. “We could have a hot shower and go to bed.”

  Nat breathed her in and rest against her, needing the hug. The only person who ever took care of her like this was Olivia. “I’m so sorry,” she said, unable to let go of the fact that Iris had waited all afternoon for her.

  “What do you mean?” Fear flashed through Iris. “Why are you sorry?” She pulled back so she could see Nat’s face.

  “You waited all day,” Nat explained, guilty.

  “Why are you sorry about that? I would have waited regardless but I had nothing else to do anyway. If I wasn’t here I would have just been at the hotel doing the same thing but without you to look forward to at the end. So, really I should thank you for stealing my mind and giving me far better things to think about than I’d have otherwise.”

  Nat had been squeezing her hands. She realized and let up a little. “Yeah,” Nat nodded, not really sure what she should accept or believe. “I’d- I’d really like that. Let’s go home.”

  “Let me get my purse and shoes.”

  Iris went back to the closet and took out an old, red North Face rain jacket and handed it to Nat. Then, she went to the end of the couch and slipped her feet in a pair of slip-on Vans and grabbed her purse from the table. “Put it on,” she said to Nat, noticing that she was still holding the jacket.

  “Okay,” Nat laughed, pulling the jacket on. She slipped her shoes back on and readied herself.

  Iris took Nat’s hand and led her to the door. She opened it a crack to see that there was a gentle rain falling outside.

  “Where is your car waiting?” She asked.

  “Ah. Fuck. Ya know. I haven’t even called it yet. Hang on.”

  Nat dug her phone from her pocket and called. Her driver was great but she knew how she would feel if she had to wait around forever for someone so she tried to be sweet.

  “He’ll be here soon,” Nat said. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to be here or not.”