Until It's Time To Go

by Connie Bailey

  “Did Laith mention Colby Lightner?”

  “Only in every other sentence. Apparently Colby is the hottest thing going.”

  “He kind of is.”

  “Oh?”

  “Oh yeah.”

  “You… and Colby Lightner?”

  “I can’t believe Laith kept it to himself.”

  “I’ll teach him the error of his ways. Gossip this good should be shared. So tell me all about it.”

  “Not much to tell. We had a physical attraction, and we did something about it. Never when Laith was around, of course.”

  “It goes without saying, though I don’t mind him seeing you be affectionate.” Janelle paused. “So do you think the thing with Colby is going anywhere?”

  “I doubt it. I’m me and he’s him, and I just can’t see us working out as a couple. I’m getting to the age where the sex isn’t worth the drama.”

  “You’ve always been that age, honey.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Seriously, Zee, you were born middle-aged.”

  For a moment or two, all Isaac heard was Janelle’s steady breathing, as he tried to come up with a smartass answer. Somehow, nothing occurred to him.

  “You know the good thing about being born old?” Janelle asked.

  “Please tell me.”

  “I will, despite your sarcastic tone. The good thing is that you get younger as the years go by.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “It is not.”

  “Give me one example, Pollyanna.”

  “John-fucking-Lennon.”

  “Good example.” Isaac smiled. “I thought his middle name was Winston.”

  “It was, but he changed it to Ono.”

  “You’re pronouncing it differently now.”

  “Smartass.”

  “Not feeling particularly smart today.”

  “You should take a vacation. I hear Steamboat Springs is nice.”

  “If that’s an invitation, I’m flying out for a visit as soon as I’m finished with the production.”

  “You’re really coming here?”

  “If it’s okay.”

  “Of course it’s okay.” Janelle laughed. “It’s better than okay. It’s fantastic! When?”

  “I’m guessing it’ll be a couple of weeks before I can get away.”

  “It doesn’t matter when. Just come as soon as you can.”

  “I’m really looking forward to it.”

  “Me too. It’s been way too long. My drive-by on Saturday doesn’t count.”

  “Damn skippy, it doesn’t.”

  Janelle giggled. “I haven’t heard that since high school.”

  “Damn skippy, you haven’t.”

  Janelle laughed again. “Oh, I really can’t wait to spend some time with you.”

  “Me either. I think it’s exactly what I need.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Some distance from Hollywood. I need to spend more time with people who aren’t constantly looking for an advantage.”

  “I’ve got some shocking news for you, my naïve friend. Everyone’s like that to some degree. It doesn’t have to be evil. It’s just part of the survival mechanism. We get so caught up in the nomenclature, and the word ‘use’ has come to have bad connotations.”

  “Whatever. People shouldn’t be reduced to products or appliances or grease.”

  “You have my complete and total agreement.” Janelle paused. “Hey, ain’tcha proud of me usin’ all them big wordses?”

  “Well… I thought nomenclature was a bit much.”

  “Always the critic. I’d better say good-bye. Let me know as soon as you know when you’re coming.”

  “You’ll know by the heavy breathing.”

  “Lame.”

  “Laith sounds just like you sometimes. Good-bye, Nelle. I love you.”

  “I love you too. Sweet dreams.”

  Isaac stood with the warm phone in his hand for several long moments before he put it away. He really was looking forward to spending time with his oldest friend and her family. All he had to do was make it across the minefield of the next few weeks without blowing up either himself or the entire production.

  Chapter 11

  ISAAC finished for the day, put the strap of his laptop bag over his shoulder, and left the motor home. As he passed the makeup trailer, he heard Colby’s name and stopped beside the window. The unmistakable, stage-trained voices of Jamie Brandis and Mitch Eichner came clearly to his ears.

  “Is it just me, or did Lightner just suddenly learn how to act?” Jamie asked.

  “I’ve noticed a marked improvement.”

  “Marked improvement?” Jamie replied with exaggerated incredulity. “He’s fierce.”

  “Fierce?” Mitch repeated. “This isn’t a drag show, honey.”

  “Then why are you being such a diva?”

  “All actors are divas from birth.”

  Jamie laughed. “Busted.”

  “Back to Lightner,” Mitch said. “The scene he shot with me today was brilliant. I totally believed him. We built up this synergy that was magic. Just kept feeding into each other, you know? We were both so into it that we jumped when Tony said cut.”

  “That’s the shit.” Jamie said. “I love being in that zone.”

  “I don’t want to sound like a complete shitheel, but I hate acting down to someone, you know?”

  “No, I know exactly what you mean. When the rest of the cast is the same caliber as you, the production just hums along. You’re like a happy family. I wouldn’t trade that feeling for the world. And yes, I know it sounds conceited.”

  “Sounds honest to me. Wonder if Tony’ll change his mind about reshoots. I wouldn’t mind a do-over for some of those early scenes.”

  “I’d reshoot everything he did with Caroline.”

  “Not sure it would change anything. There’s just no chemistry between them.”

  “Not surprising since Lightner started batting for the other team.”

  “Are you serious?”

  Isaac knew he should stop eavesdropping and walk away, but he couldn’t.

  “Why would I make it up?” Jamie said.

  “I’m not saying you’re making it up. What I’m saying is how do you know for sure unless you slept with him yourself?”

  “Would it surprise you if I had?”

  “Not in the least, you big harlot.”

  “We were at this party, see, and—”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don’t want to hear about it,” Mitch said.

  “Your loss. Lightner’s hot.”

  Isaac finally found the will to put one foot in front of the other and walk away from the trailer. Once he got started walking, why not continue? Why not walk inside and keep his dinner date with Tony and Callie? Why would that be any harder than going home and drinking until he passed out? With the vague sense that he was acting like an adult, Isaac went to Tony’s office.

  “THIS is nice,” Isaac said as he looked around at the carved teakwood panels in the muted lighting of the Koh-i-noor Restaurant.

  “We come here at least once a week. It’s our favorite curry place,” Callie said.

  “Our favorite in the area,” Tony clarified. “You haven’t had proper Indian food until you’ve been to London.”

  Isaac smiled as he lifted his lassi glass in a toast. “I’m going to use that line in a script someday.”

  “Well, that’s actually one of the reasons we wanted to have dinner,” Callie said.

  “We’re wooing you,” Tony put in as a member of the supernaturally-smooth waitstaff palmed a dish onto the table.

  “Sorry to intrude on a private moment. Shall I come back later, sir?” the waiter asked.

  “That won’t be necessary.” Tony smiled. “Cheeky bastard.”

  Several more dishes arrived, and the staff withdrew.

  “Barring any rewrites, which I just don’t see happening, your job is done,” Callie told Isaac as they dug into the food.
/>   “So… that means you’re happy with those last pages?”

  Tony nodded. “Everyone’s happy. I’ve asked the five principals to stay on and do a few key reshoots, but I’m satisfied that I can work with what we have.”

  “What Tony’s saying is that, unless you want to be involved in the cutting process, you’re free.”

  Isaac put down his fork. “Man, the last thing I expected to feel was disappointment. I’m actually sorry the job’s over.”

  “Yay!” Callie said, clapping her hands together.

  “Why are you so happy that I’m so sad?” Isaac smiled to show he was joking.

  Tony cleared his throat. “May I assume you’d be thrilled to hear that we want to work with you again as soon as possible?”

  “How soon?”

  “Do you have any ideas for a story?” Callie asked.

  “Only a few billion.”

  “I’d say that’s a good start,” Tony said.

  “I’m going on a little vacation first.”

  “Sounds great. When do you leave?” Callie asked.

  “As soon as I can book a ticket to Steamboat Springs.”

  Callie picked up her phone off the table and played with it for a few minutes. “I can have you on a charter to Yampa Valley Airport whenever you say.”

  “I need time to pack.”

  “So around lunch time tomorrow?”

  “Uh… yeah. That’ll work.”

  Callie pushed a few buttons. “Done. I’m sending the info to your e-mail.”

  “Thanks,” Isaac said. “You’ve both been so good to me.”

  “Why wouldn’t we be?” Callie asked.

  “Oh, you know, the usual. I’m a cranky, condescending, judgmental jerk.”

  “Not always,” Tony said.

  “And you’re aware of it,” Callie added. “Anyway, you’re a genius, and geniuses get cut some extra slack.”

  “I’m not sure that’s a good thing. There should be consequences when you misbehave.”

  “You think you haven’t suffered consequences?” Callie said.

  “Maybe we should keep the dinner conversation a little lighter,” Tony said in the wake of Isaac’s silence.

  “I’m sorry,” Callie said. “I’m so used to charging ahead at the job that I forget to slow down when I’m not working.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Isaac said. “You had a point. Go ahead and make it.”

  “Well….” Callie pushed a steamed dumpling around in the tomato chutney, suddenly shy. “Did you ever think that you’re getting back what you put out?”

  “Is this the ‘what goes around, comes around’ speech?” Isaac asked.

  “All I know is that when I stopped moping around feeling sorry for myself after my Steve died, I started making friends.”

  “So… you just decided to be happy?”

  “At first I pretended,” Callie said, glancing up and back down again. “I acted like I was having fun, and believe it or not, it came true. I stopped focusing on the things that made me unhappy, and I was able to be happy.”

  “And you kept finding things that made you happy?”

  Callie nodded. “Sometimes it’s just little things, you know? Like getting to sleep in. It’s more about appreciating the things you have and not getting all bent about the things you don’t.”

  Isaac looked over at Tony. “Anything to add to that?”

  “I was born happy.” Tony shrugged. “I can’t explain it, but my whole life I’ve been happy more often than not. Not fair, really. I’ve done nothing to deserve it.”

  “You build people up instead of putting them down,” Callie said. “Maybe you don’t know how special that is, but—”

  Tony held up a hand. “We’re not talking about me,” he said.

  “We’re just talking,” Isaac said. “About everything and nothing.”

  “Typical writer.” Tony said.

  Callie exchanged a glance with Isaac and both broke into chuckles.

  “Look at that,” Tony said. “Two of my favorite people laughing together. Now I’m super happy.” He called over a waiter, and a bottle of inexpensive champagne was opened. After a couple of toasts, Callie’s inner continuity girl made her remind Isaac that he had a lot to do before his flight. While Tony settled the bill, Callie turned to Isaac.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, meeting his eyes.

  “Yes. I’m great. I’m going on vacation.”

  “It’s so spur of the moment. It worries me.”

  “I’m not running off on a manic-depressive binge. I have a few issues, but I’m dealing with them, if you’ll allow me to be vague.”

  “Keep in mind that I’m pretty good at solving things.” Callie reached over and touched the back of Isaac’s hand. “And I’d like to be your friend even if we don’t work together.”

  “I’m touched. Sincerely.”

  Callie smiled. “I know you don’t really believe me yet, but over time, you’ll accept that I’m your friend.”

  “Maybe, but I don’t think I’ll ever feel like I deserve you.”

  “I tell her that all the time,” Tony said as he joined the conversation. “Shall we let someone else have the space?”

  “Did you guys drive or take a cab?” Isaac asked as they left the restaurant.

  “Don’t worry about us,” Callie said. “We’re going to walk for a while and then call for a car.”

  “Smart. I should get back into some kind of exercise routine.”

  Callie patted Isaac’s soft middle. “Whatever makes you happy,” she said. “I kind of like a man with a teddy bear tummy.”

  They stood there aimlessly for a few moments as people will after they’ve enjoyed a good meal together and are reluctant for it to end. Eventually they admitted they had nothing more to say and drifted apart. Callie and Tony walked away down the sidewalk, and Isaac got into his car.

  At home, Isaac found he couldn’t settle and decided to go ahead and pack for his trip. After pulling out nearly every article of clothing he owned, he checked the weather in Steamboat Springs. Having narrowed down the field, he put some of the clothes away and started over. A little after midnight, he zipped his suitcase and got in the shower.

  As Isaac prepared for bed, he thought about calling Colby. It would be the act of a gutless asshole to just leave without a word, but apparently, as far as gutless assholes went, Isaac was in the running for king. He didn’t want to tell Colby he was leaving and Colby didn’t want to hear it, so what was the point, really? Sure it might save some hurt feelings, but wasn’t it just a drop in the ocean? Wouldn’t it be better to say what he had to say face to face? Anyway it was too late to call now. Tomorrow morning would be better. Having made that decision, Isaac went to sleep.

  THE morning passed in a trance of frenzied transport that involved a cab, a shuttle ride, and the running of a security maze that earned him a seat on a small passenger jet. The flight was a mere hop, barely enough time to drink the complimentary four ounces of ginger ale before the plane was back on the ground. At the Denver airport, he was met by a man carrying a piece of poster board with his name on it. His luggage was loaded onto a six-passenger charter plane, and along with two other men, he was flown to Steamboat Springs’ private airport. The one person he’d called about his travel plans was waiting in the miniature terminal building.

  “WELL?” Janelle said as they drove through town on Highway 40.

  “It’s a nice-looking place,” Isaac said as he looked out the window at the well-kept nineteenth century buildings.

  “Go ahead and say it. It’s quaint.” Janelle let go of the steering wheel to pat Isaac’s hand. “Be as critical and condescending as you like. I’m so happy you’re here I could explode.”

  “The city didn’t look all that big from the air.”

  “Somewhere around 12,000 people live in the town. And all of them work the tourist trade. All but the few wealthy, year-round residents who’re seriously into skiing.”
/>
  “The snobs?”

  “Yeah, I guess some of them are snobs.”

  “Everything okay with Laith?”

  “Keeping him away from the snobs seems to be working so far. I tell you what, though. He’s been taking the bus to the mall by himself. So I guess I don’t have to be too worried about turning him into a mouse by being overprotective.” She paused. “I just don’t understand why he didn’t tell me or Ky about the bullying. I thought I had a real good relationship with the kid.”

  “You do, but…. I’m not sure I can say this right. Men do this thing where they can’t admit to weakness. It’s some holdover from the caveman days I guess. If a female thinks you’re weak, she won’t mate with you.”

  “Neither you nor Laith wants to mate with a female, as you put it.”

  “I knew I couldn’t talk about this without pissing you off.”

  “I’m not pissed off. I’m just… mad that my kid couldn’t tell me he was having a problem.”

  “All I can tell you is gay guys are still men.”

  “And that’s your answer?”

  “’Fraid so. It’s stupid and it’s chauvinist and it reinforces gender stereotyping, but it’s largely true. I have a theory that men don’t report being beaten for the same reason women don’t report being raped. There’s an element of shame that’s incredibly powerful. No one wants to be thought of as a victim.”

  “That’s sadly true.” Janelle glanced over at Isaac. “Thanks again for looking after Laith. He was much better after his visit with you.”

  “Purely a coincidence. I’m sure I did everything wrong.”

  “You let him see that there are other ways to be, if that makes sense. He has hope for the future now and it’s made a huge difference.”

  “Wow,” Isaac said as they passed the eastern outskirts of the town and he saw Mount Werner directly ahead. “It’s really beautiful—regal is the word that comes to mind.”

  “Fine, we’ll change the subject.” Janelle smiled. “You should see this place during the season.”

  “Maybe I will.”

  Janelle squeezed Isaac’s hand. “It would be wonderful to see more of you. You stay for as long as you want.”

  Not far out of town, Janelle turned off the highway onto a two-lane road that branched several times. She went left on Wapiti Drive and parked beside a modest-sized timber home that resembled a classic ski lodge. The tidy lawn was bordered by geometrically perfect flower beds and low hedges.