Learning to Love

by Erin Trejo

  Learning to Love

  KNIGHTS OF SIN MC

  Learning To Love

  Knights of Sin MC

  By Erin Trejo

  Copyright 2017@erintrejo

  All rights reserved.

  Cover Design: Erin Trejo

  Cover photos: iStock

  No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system without the prior written consent from the author, except in the instance of quotes for reviews. No part of this book may be scanned, uploaded, or distributed via the Internet without the permission of the author, which is a violation of the International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines and imprisonment.

  This is a work of fiction. The names, characters, incidents and places are products of the author’s imagination, and are not to be construed as real except where noted and authorized. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or actual events are entirely coincidental. Any trademarks, service marks, product names, names featured are assumed to be the property of their respective owners, and are used only for reference. There is no implied endorsement if any of these terms are used.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Chapter 54

  Chapter 55

  Chapter 56

  Chapter 57

  Chapter 58

  Chapter 59

  Chapter 60

  Chapter 61

  Chapter 62

  Chapter 63

  Chapter 64

  Chapter 66

  Chapter 67

  Chapter 68

  Chapter 69

  Chapter 70

  Chapter 71

  Chapter 72

  Chapter 73

  Chapter 74

  Chapter 75

  Chapter 76

  Chapter 77

  Chapter 78

  Chapter 79

  Chapter 80

  Chapter 81

  Chapter 82

  Chapter 83

  Chapter 1

  Mouse

  Did you ever wonder how you’d die? Like in a fire or being hit by a car?

  I never did until now. Now, that’s all that’s on my mind. Will it be a bullet or a knife to the chest?

  Will I be unconscious or will I feel every little bit of pain that’s inflicted on me?

  Some people think it’s a sin to think about how you would die. They think you should be positive and look at the life you have ahead of you.

  Those people haven’t lived through what I have, though. They have no idea what lies beneath their city. They don’t know what the darkness holds.

  I didn’t either, not at first. Growing up with a powerful family, you learn your place. You learn who you can and cannot talk to. You learn that not everyone is a friend, and not every enemy is what they seem.

  Imagine learning that your father killed people at the age of twelve. Imagine what you thought of him when you learned he is the one responsible for your mother’s death.

  How would you feel? What would you think of him?

  I lost all hope for having a father after that. I knew who he was, and I knew what he did.

  I didn’t want to be a part of that. I didn’t want that kind of life for myself but again, what can you do when he holds so much power?

  I tried to run, he’d always find me. I tried to distance myself, but he’d just pull me back in.

  Now I’m at the mercy of someone that he quite obviously pissed off. It’s apparent to me that these are not good people either.

  It was apparent when I was ripped from the street I was walking on—thrown into a van—and brought to this hell.

  It became more so when I was raped, beaten, and thrown into a cell.

  The only hope that I have is the hope for a quick death. So far, that hasn’t happened yet.

  My only reason for even fighting is the poor soul in the cell next to me.

  Somehow, I feel a connection to him. He makes me feel the need to keep going.

  I don’t know him—and I’ve never seen him—but I assume he’s here for the same reason as I am.

  He’s the one thread of life I have left.

  Chapter 2

  Bullet

  Life has a way of keeping us down. My time spent in a war zone was nothing compared to this.

  I always knew I’d die being a part of Knights of Sin, but fuck if I thought it would be in a cell.

  I don’t know who the fuckers are that took me. They were careful. They didn’t wear cuts. They removed all colors from their disgusting bodies when they grabbed me. Stupid motherfuckers aren’t a club if you ask me.

  I know they are an MC though. I heard the bikes behind the van. They weren’t fooling anyone.

  I only wish I knew who the fuck they are. I’ve asked, fuck, I’ve tried to push their buttons, too.

  That only got my ass kicked more. I’ve been stabbed, cut, beaten, and bruised. I’m waiting for the motherfuckers to kill me.

  I won’t give up shit on my club. They know who I am. They know who my club is. That means shit when I won’t give up our warehouses.

  I know what they are after. I know what they want.

  Whoever this club is, they are worthless. They don’t have shit for resources except for this goddamn dungeon cell.

  It was a good idea. Underground cells? Hell, I wish I would have thought of that.

  I know my boys are looking for me but there is no way in hell that they will ever find me here. At least that’s what I think.

  There are a few things keeping me alive down here. My stubborn hard headed ass doesn’t want to die in this shit.

  I made it out of the war. That in itself was a feat. I won’t let these motherfuckers break me.

  What keeps me going, though? That poor broken girl in the cell next to me. I can’t see her. There are walls built into these cells. The only thing I have of her is the tiny hole at the bottom where the rats ate their way through.

  She’s beaten and used. I don’t know who she is but there is something about her that keeps me holding on. She’s the strength I need to wake up after being beaten in the head multiple times.

  She’s the reason I force myself to breathe.

  As much as I need her, I know she needs me, too.

  She may not say the word
s but I know she relies on me.

  It’s a silent truce that we have.

  Chapter 3

  Mouse

  I hate this. I hate my life. I hate being here—but most of all—I hate myself for wanting to end it.

  I can’t hold on anymore... I can’t take it.

  My eyes try to focus as I tug at my restrained arms.

  “Let me go!” Screaming is basically non-existent. My voice is scratchy and harsh.

  “Well, sweetheart. I could do that, but there is somethin’ daddy has that we need.” I hate that man’s voice. He’s the same one that grabbed me.

  I feel the blade as it slashes through my flesh. The blood starts to trickle as I cry.

  “I hate you!” I scream in pain. I don’t know who it is I’m screaming for, him or my father.

  I’ve lied on this cement slab for what seems like hours. I’ve been raped, punched, and now cut.

  “Just tell us his account information!” One more backhand.

  “I don’t know it!” I scream. It’s the truth. I don’t know anything about that asshole.

  My wrists are released from the heavy chains that weighed them down.

  My legs are released next. Thrown over the assholes shoulder, he carries me back to my solitary hell.

  The cell door opens and I’m tossed to the floor with a thud.

  “We’ll just play again tomorrow.” He grits his teeth, but I don’t let him break me. Not yet anyway.

  “Looking forward to it,” I say with the most strength I can muster up. He growls, slamming the cell door once again.

  “You got a death wish over there, Mouse?” That’s the nickname my neighbor gave me. He said I’m always as quiet as a mouse except for when I cry.

  “As of today, I don’t need one,” I say. I begin to dig at the small hole around the edge of the cell with my fingers.

  I started this a few days ago. If I can get that rusty nail out, I have a weapon. Actually, I have what I need to slit my wrists.

  I’m dehydrated and worn out. My body is tired.

  “What’s that mean?” I can hear the concern in his voice. He’s just about as gone as I am. He came in only a few days after me.

  “I don’t want to do this anymore, Jace,” I say in all honesty. He gave me his name but that was about it. I refused to give him mine.

  It doesn’t matter now anyway. I want the torture over. I want this to end and the sooner I can make that happen, the better.

  Life won’t miss me. Hell, no one will. I bet my dad hasn’t even looked for me.

  The only peace I have is the knowledge of Jace next door to me. That, and the fact that I’m about to end all the suffering.

  Chapter 4

  Bullet

  No, no, she can’t do that to me. She can’t.

  “Mouse. Come on now, darlin’,” I say. I don’t hear her much, like usual. She never makes a sound over there unless it’s to tell those assholes off. If we were in another situation, my dick would be screaming for a piece of her.

  I listen intently when I hear it. A tiny ping. Whatever she was doing over there, she got it.

  I climb off the rickety cot and scoot toward the small hole in the wall between our cells.

  “Mouse. Come on! I can’t do this without you, babe. I need you,” I tell her. It’s the truth. I do need her. I need her more than she knows. I can’t function in this hell hole knowing she won’t be here.

  “I’m sorry, Jace. I can’t do it another day. My body is giving out. I just... can’t,” she cries. I hear her sobs and it guts me to hear it.

  I stick my fingers through the tiny hole.

  “Come here, Mouse. Please,” I beg. I wait for her to move. I wait for her to come to me. Praying like hell that she does.

  Hearing shuffling, I feel the warmth of her as her fingers touch mine. I curl mine around hers and hold on tightly.

  “I need you, Mouse. I mean it. I can’t hang on without you. You know you mean a lot to me,” I tell her. It isn’t a lie. We’ve been locked in this hell for a while now and the only thing that keeps me going is her. I can’t have her leave me now.

  “It hurts, Jace. Every part of me hurts.” Her tears cut through me like a knife.

  “I know, baby. I know... but we’re gonna get out of here. I promise.” Her sobs keep coming before her fingers leave mine.

  I lean my head against the wall, praying that she doesn’t do it. Praying that she will stay with me. It may be selfish, but I’m a fucking selfish bastard.

  Holding my breath, I finally release it when I feel the dingy nail, she’d been working so hard to dig out placed on my fingers. I slide it back to my side before reaching back through.

  “Stay with me, Mouse.” Her fingers return as I lie my head down.

  Holding her tightly, I close my eyes. I wish I could fix this for her. I wish I could take it all away from her. It’s ironic really. The lengths I’d go to get her out of here and I don’t even know her.

  “I’ll get you out, Mouse. I don’t give a shit how hard it is or if it kills me. I’ll get you out.” Whispering the words, I hope I can do just that.

  I’m scared shitless that she will die in here before I have the chance to fight.

  I’m scared that her life may be over before she has the chance to live it.

  Chapter 5

  Mouse

  “You awake, Mouse?” His scratchy voice filters its way throughout me. I don’t know why he has such a power over me, but he does.

  I wanted to die. I wanted to end it, but when he said he needed me, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

  “I’m awake,” I say. I don’t even sound like myself.

  “Thank you for yesterday,” he says. I’m confused. What the hell is he thanking me for?

  “I didn’t do anything...” His fingers pull mine tighter.

  “Yeah, you did, darlin’. You did a lot more than you know. When I was in the war, I thought my life was over. I thought I’d die there, but I didn’t. I had a friend that kicked my ass every day, makin’ sure I was straight. Now, I have you.” My heart leaps in my chest.

  I don’t know how to respond to that. I don’t know what to say. I’ve never had anyone care about me.

  “I have you too, Jace.” Leaning down, I press a kiss to the two fingers that stick through the wall.

  “You know, if this wall wasn’t here, I’d fuck you through the bars,” Jace chuckles. His words make a smile form on my lips, too. Even though my body has been through hell here, I know in my heart that Jace wouldn’t hurt me.

  “I don’t know how well that would work out.” His laughter slams into me. God, I wish I could see him. See the man that has somehow kept me grounded all this time.

  “You don’t know the skills I possess, sweetheart.” Now it’s my turn to laugh.

  “I think I’d like to know. We are in two separate cells. You have no idea what I look like. I could be the ugliest person you’ve ever seen.” His fingers tighten, making me smile.

  “I doubt that. When we get out of here, I will show you just how beautiful you are. I will show you what a real man is like. How a real man treats his woman.” His words are confusing to me. How he treats his woman?

  I stay silent, letting that play through my head. When we get out? That’s not something I’m planning on happening, but the thought is nice.

  I don’t know how many nights I’ve dreamt of Jace. What he looks like? What he feels like?

  “You with me, Mouse?” Sniffling back the tears, I force myself to talk.

  “I’m here...” Then I hear it.

  “Not for long. Say bye to lover boy,” the man says from the cell door. The growl that rips out of Jace practically vibrates the walls.

  The asshole comes into my cell, yanking my naked body from the floor. Jace tries to hold on with all his might before I’m dragged away.

  “I’ll fuckin’ kill all of you!” Jace’s words are the last thing I hear.

  Fear surges through me. I did wan
t to die, but not anymore. Call me crazy, but I really want to stay with Jace. Even if it is until the end.

  Chapter 6

  Bullet

  I will kill them... I will fucking kill them all. I will rip every one of their throats out.

  I listened to her scream all the way down that fucking hallway until her throat was dry.

  I close my eyes, letting my world spin around me. Nothing makes sense anymore. I can’t handle this shit.

  I wonder what’s going to happen to us when they get tired of trying to get all the information out of us?

  A commotion pulls me out of the daze I’ve put myself in.

  “You wanna wake the fuck up for your homecomin’?” That fucking voice pulls a smile across my face.

  I shove up on my elbows, glaring at the assholes on the other side of the bars.

  “Took you long enough. Thought I was stuck here,” I say in a teasing tone. My head spins, but I shove up to my feet, unsteadily.

  I watch Dax as he uses the bolt cutters, taking that lock out in seconds. The door flies open and Bomber steps inside.

  “Nice to see you’re still alive,” he says with a grin, he grabs me, pulling me in for a hug.

  “God, I can’t tell you how glad I am to see you,” I say. Blowing out a breath, I sigh into him.

  “Me too, brother. We gotta move though. This shit’s gonna blow.” The slight chuckle has me smiling once again.

  “I like the sound of that.” I limp my way out of the cell, some of the other guys slapping my shoulder as I go. They start to usher me toward the exit, but I stop.

  “Mouse. There was a girl in the cell next to me.” Kane looks at me like I’m insane but shakes his head.

  “I was over there. It was empty.” No fucking way. She’s here somewhere.

  “We need to move!” Stryker yells from the other end of the room. The guys try to push me, but I won’t fucking move.

  “I’m not leavin’ without her!” I roar. They all step away from me. I turn to head back when Micah steps up, a small broken girl in his arms.

  “I got her... Let’s move!” he hollers. My breath catches in my throat. I’ve never seen her. I’ve never been able to really touch her, and now, she’s broken.

  I force myself to move. We get out quickly, given my current situation.