Learning to Love

by Erin Trejo

  “All he said was out of town. I’m Bash, by the way.” He extends his hand to me, which I take.

  “Trinity.” He smiles before pulling his hand away.

  “Nice to meet the one that kept my boy sane. We appreciate that,” he says. I give him a small smile before I look over at Aubrie.

  “I’ll have her ready when they get back.” Bash nods at her before he leaves the room.

  “Where do you think, he’s taking me?” I ask. Aubrie shrugs before shoving off the bed.

  “I have no idea. I’ll get you some stuff together, though.”

  “I really appreciate it, Aubrie. I don’t know how, but I’ll pay you back.” She laughs lightly before turning back to me.

  “You don’t have to worry about that. We’re like a family here. As dysfunctional as it is, it works.” Her smile is perfect.

  “I wouldn’t know about all that. My real family was dysfunctional. Way beyond this.” Aubrie gives me a sad smile before tossing a duffle bag onto the bed.

  “You ever been on a bike before?”

  “A motorcycle?” Aubrie smiles, nodding her head.

  “No. Never. I always thought they looked like death traps. I’m scared. Oh, God! Do you think he’s going to make me ride on one when we leave?” Aubrie laughs hysterically before looking at me.

  “You are for sure riding on one.”

  Chapter 28

  Bullet

  I’m grinning as I pace around the back room waiting for Link to do his thing.

  I’m happy to be getting a break and finally catching up with my family, but even more so, I’m glad Mouse can get away from here and take some much-needed time off.

  “Looks like this is it.” Link jots an address down before passing the piece of paper over his shoulder to me.

  “Thanks, Link. I fuckin’ owe you.” The grin on my face couldn’t possibly get any bigger.

  I head down the hallway when Aubrie stops me.

  “She’s in your room. She’s ready.” I lean down, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

  “Thanks, Aub’s.” Stuffing the paper into my pocket, I shove through my door. Stopping in my tracks, my breath catches in my throat.

  Mouse stands with her back to me. A tight pair of jeans, hugging her in all the right places. A pair of leather boots, that hug her legs up to her knees.

  “Fuck!” The word tumbles out of my mouth before I can stop it. Mouse turns quickly to face me, my heart hammering in my chest.

  “You’re back,” she says with a smile. My eyes travel over her body, the girl that I have known for months, but was never able to see.

  “I’m back. You look sexy as hell, Mouse,” I say. She looks down at herself before dragging her gaze back up to meet mine. The way her eyes sparkle in the light sets my insides on fire.

  “Aubrie let me use this stuff. She’s really nice.” She seems a little nervous.

  “She’s great. Come here.” Her eyes search mine for a second before she moves toward me. I can’t pull my eyes away from her. She’s breathtaking.

  Mouse stops in front of me before I slide my hands around her waist, pulling her in closer.

  “I’ve never wanted to rip someone’s clothes off the way I want to do to you.” Her eyes stay on mine. My tongue slowly drags across my lips before her eyes follow. A soft moan escapes her before I lean in.

  “When I get you naked and under me, I won’t let you go Mouse. You’re doin’ things to me...” Brushing my lips over hers, she shivers.

  She knows I’m telling the truth. She can feel it.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anyone like I do you, Jace.”

  The whole thing should worry me. It does, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that seeing her the way she looks right now makes me happy. She looks satisfied to be with me, and only me. It’s a new feeling to have but sure as hell, not one I’m going to complain about.

  Chapter 29

  Mouse

  Jace wanted to wait until the sun went down. I’m not sure why he didn’t want to leave when it was light out but I don’t mind.

  I stand outside the clubhouse and look up at the stars.

  “The stars will never fall from the sky. They will always hang there, shinin’ as bright as your eyes.” My breath catches in my throat before I look over and see him grinning at me.

  “That was beautiful. Who said that?” I ask. Thinking that he heard it somewhere, he reaches for me.

  “I said it, Mouse.” My eyes widen before his lips come closer.

  I don’t think I can ever get used to feeling him this close to me.

  “When we were stuck in there, I would dream about what it would feel like to be in your arms.” He pulls back slightly, his eyes genuinely searching mine.

  “You did?” he asks as though the thought would be absurd. I don’t miss the slight grin on his face. He’s beautiful.

  “Every night. When they’d take me into that room all I could think about was you. I wanted every vision to be of you. Seeing you now, I don’t even know what to say...” His hand slides up to cup my cheek.

  His thumb gently rubs soft circles, igniting a fire inside of me.

  Bumps form over my flesh, but he doesn’t stop.

  “I’ve dreamt of you, too.” His thumb slowly glides over my bottom lip before I stick my tongue out.

  The hiss that escapes Jace surprises me.

  “You are gonna be the death of me, Mouse. We should get goin’.” Sucking his finger into my mouth, he groans but doesn’t pull away from me.

  I love the feel of his flesh against my tongue. His finger isn’t my first choice but I’ll take what I can get from him right now.

  Our eyes stay locked as I twirl my tongue over the tip of his finger. Jace looks like he’s going to explode.

  His eyes widen slightly, his lips parting.

  He jerks his finger from my lips before slamming his against mine.

  His tongue demands entrance and I gladly let him in.

  He grinds his dick against me. Hard and ready, I wish he’d let me touch him. I wish he’d give into me.

  I know he has a war within himself. I wish I could calm it all for him, but that’s where we’re alike. We both have to figure ourselves out. No one can do that for us.

  Chapter 30

  Bullet

  Her hands are wrapped around my waist, she’s holding on for her life. It gives me a slight thrill to feel her pressed against me, not letting go.

  Her warmth floods me in ways I wasn’t expecting. I knew she was special in that cell, but this... this is something else. This is on another level.

  I reach back, squeezing her thigh as a reassuring gesture, but when her legs tighten up around me, I want to pull over and make her mine in ways I’ve only dreamed of.

  I glance down at my phone, noting the time. We should be there in a few minutes, which makes me somewhat nervous.

  I haven’t spoken to my dad in a long time, even longer than my mom. He never really liked my choice of careers and when I went off to join the Marines, he was pissed.

  My life never fit the little mold that he wanted me to stay in. I was always the one outside of the box. I never conformed to everyone else’s ideas of me. I was who I was and even when I was younger, that stood out.

  I pull into the driveway, my heart leaping into my throat. I don’t know if they will be happy to see me or not. I’d like to hope they would, but I never made the effort to come see them before.

  I cut the engine before climbing off, helping Mouse off after me.

  “This is your parents’?” she asks. I shrug, hoping the address Link gave me is right.

  “If Link did his job right, it is.” Her eyes dance with questions, none of which I want to answer.

  “We haven’t talked in a long time. My choice, not theirs.” She nods her head as though she understands, but when she doesn’t press me, I’m surprised. That’s the main reason relationships have never worked for me.

  “It’ll be okay.” Her f
ingers wrap around mine in that reassuring gesture that soothes me to the soul.

  “Are you always so certain?” I ask. My eyes pull to hers and hold there.

  “Not always.” Winking at me, I smile before I hear my sister’s voice.

  “Jace? Is that you?” A bigger smile tugs across my face as I turn to look at my little sister. She’s only two years younger than I am but God, she is beautiful.

  “Misty.” Her name leaves my mouth before she runs toward me.

  Releasing Mouse, I catch her in my arms as tears threaten to spill over.

  I’ve missed this part of my life for so long. I’ve missed her. I’ve missed all of this.

  Chapter 31

  Mouse

  His sister looks just like him. I stand back and watch them as he holds her tightly. I’m almost jealous that I don’t have that. I wanted it, but I never knew what it was like to have a brother or sister.

  My mind wanders while I watch them. How is he going to introduce me? Oh, here’s the girl I was locked in a cell next to.

  “You look amazin’. I heard I got a new nephew,” he says. He sets his sister down before she wipes her eyes.

  “Yeah. He’s four months old. He’s perfect, Jace.” Tears slide down her beautiful cheeks as I smile. It’s the perfect scene.

  “This is my girlfriend, Mouse. I mean, Trinity.” Jace turns to me, reaching for my hand as my mouth hangs open. His girlfriend? I guess that answers my question as to how he will introduce me.

  Misty extends her hand before I take it in mine.

  “It’s nice to meet you,” I say. Her eyes fill even fuller with tears before she pulls me into a hug.

  “I’m so glad to meet you!” she cries. I wonder if all their family is as emotional as she is.

  “You too.” Pulling back, Jace wraps his arm around my waist, jerking me into his side.

  “Mom here?” he asks her. Misty nods but her smile fades.

  “Dad’s not. He works out of town a lot. It’s been hard on her.” Jace’s hand tightens on my hip where it rests.

  “I’m sorry, Misty. I just made a life, ya know. I miss you guys, though. I miss havin’ my family,” Jace admits and it melts my heart. Misty latches onto the other side of Jace. I wonder why he doesn’t see them more often, but that’s not any of my business. He has his reasons and I respect that.

  It’s a sweet picture to paint in my mind, but I know this will never be my reality. It hurts a little to know that, too.

  We walk toward the door when another woman, older than Misty, steps out. Her eyes widen but when her mouth opens, I know it’s his mom.

  Jace’s grip on me is so tight it could break me in half. I don’t say anything though, I know this is a huge step for him.

  “That’s my mom.” I know he’s talking to me, but he isn’t looking at me, his eyes are locked on her now teary ones.

  “Go to her, Jace.” When the words leave my mouth, I’m not sure if they were the right ones, but when he looks down at me, I see the tears.

  “God, Mouse. You don’t even know what you mean to me.” Pressing his lips to my forehead, he releases me and walks toward his mom.

  His words ring in my head over and over as I watch their reunion unfold in front of me.

  He’s right, I don’t know what I mean to him. I know what he means to me though, and I would die if I ever lost that connection.

  Whether we are together or not, I need him.

  Chapter 32

  Bullet

  “He’s perfect. He’s fuckin’ perfect, Misty.” I can’t stop smiling down at my nephew, Jameson, as he lies sleeping in my arms. I’ve never been the kid type of guy, but this little boy, he’s amazing.

  “He looks a lot like his dad. If you’re still here when he gets home, you can meet him,” she says. My eyes jerk to hers. I can see the smile on her face.

  “You’re happy?” I have to ask. She nods her head and that’s all I need. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for her.

  “I was thinkin’ about stayin’ in town for a week. Gettin’ a hotel,” I say. My mom’s eyes come to meet mine, a huge grin on her face.

  “You will stay here, not a hotel. I’m really glad you’re here, Jace.” Her eyes fill with tears once again. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed my family and being here with them, I never want to lose that again.

  “Thanks, Mom. I’m glad, too. I know it should have happened sooner.” Shaking my head, there was so much going on in my personal life that I didn’t think to make time for them nor did I think they wanted to see me.

  “Stop. We all made mistakes. You’re here now,” she says. Nodding slightly, she wipes her eyes before turning to Mouse.

  “How long have you known, Jace?” Mouse stiffens in her seat next to me.

  “Not long... only a few months,” she answers. I can tell she isn’t comfortable with everything that’s going on here.

  “Hey, so... it’s been a long day. Are you good with us just crashin’ for tonight?” My mom’s smile is huge as she nods her head.

  “Of course. Misty will show you to the room while I clean up.” Mouse moves quickly, picking up plates from the table.

  “I can help.” Her voice is strained and I don’t like it.

  “No, sweetie. You go rest, I got it.” Mom smiles before I hand Jameson back to his mom but not before kissing his little cheeks.

  “He’s too damn cute.” Misty smiles before I turn back and grab Mouse’s hand. She still looks so nervous, but hopefully, once I get her alone, she will calm down.

  “What is it dads doin’ for work now?” I ask as we follow behind Misty. I don’t really know if I want the answer to that.

  “You see the house. I’m guessing nothing good.” I got that impression, too. My parents were never poor, but they didn’t have this kind of money either.

  “Mom know?” I ask her. Misty shakes her head before reaching for the knob.

  “Not that I know of. He says he has to go, she waves.” I shake my head, wondering what the hell he may have gotten himself into.

  “There’s a bathroom in there, it should be stocked. If you need anything, Mom’s room is at the other end of the hall. I’m heading home. We’ll see you tomorrow?” Misty looks at me as though I may disappear before her eyes.

  I give her a smile before kissing her cheek.

  “I’ll still be here,” I reassure her.

  Chapter 33

  Mouse

  I sit on the toilet lid, crying like a baby. I know I need to get myself together, but it’s so hard seeing a happy family like this. I never had it.

  “Why the tears, Mouse?” Jace’s voice flows through me. I didn’t realize he opened the bathroom door. Now I do look like a baby.

  “Nothing.” Wiping my eyes, he crosses his arms over his chest, glaring at me.

  “Don’t do that. Don’t shut me out.” I know how much that bothers him. It has since I met him.

  “I’ve never had a happy family like that. It seems so surreal. It’s beautiful.” Jace huffs out a breath before moving toward me. Kneeling in front of me, he grabs my hands in his.

  “Not everything you see is real. This house? I don’t even know how they can afford it. We didn’t grow up poor, but this wasn’t us either,” he says. He doesn’t understand what I mean.

  “It’s not that, Jace. The smiles, the happiness. Your mom and sister practically beamed when they saw you. Do you know what my dad sees in me?” I ask. Jace shrugs before I take a deep breath.

  “He sees a pawn. He sees something he can use to his advantage. If he ever smiled at me the way your mom did, it would be because I was dead.” Something sparks in his eyes as he watches me reveal my truth to him.

  Jace doesn’t respond. In fact, he sits there, staring into my eyes like he’s trying to reason something out inside of himself.

  “That life with your dad. That’s the past, Mouse. You aren’t his pawn anymore. He has no right to you. You can do or be anything you want now. Don’t you realize that?�
�� he asks me. Shaking my head slowly, I don’t know what to say to that.

  “You don’t have to stay locked in a room. You don’t have to look at the world as an obstacle to overcome. You can be free, Mouse. You can live your life. You can go where you want.” His hands slip out of mine before he shoves himself off the floor.

  He stands in front of me, his hand running through his hair. He looks so beautiful, innocent, even in this moment.

  I shove myself up to stand in front of him, my hands wrapping around his waist.

  “What if I’m where I want to be?” I ask. His head lowers, his eyes connecting with mine. Heat radiates off him, scorching me to the core.

  “I told you, I’m not a good man. The things your dad does, I’m just as bad. Those men that took us? I’m just like them.” I don’t like the tone in his voice. I don’t like him pushing me away the way he is.

  Pushing up on my toes, I let my lips caress his gently.

  Jace’s eyes stay wide at first, but he eventually lets me in.

  His eyes close before he melts into my kiss.

  Chapter 34

  Bullet

  Her lips consume me. That’s all it takes. I thought her touch was scorching but this, her kiss, is something deeper than even I could imagine.

  Her softness overwhelms me. Her fingers slowly glide through my hair, tugging gently.

  My insides tremble from her touch. It’s a powerful feeling to have someone override your mind the way she does mine. I’ve never let anyone get this close to me.

  My hands snake around her waist, pulling her in closer. Now that I can touch her outside of that cell, I want to, God fucking help me I do. But I also know she’s broken. I know she’s been used most of her life and I don’t want her to feel that way when she’s with me.

  “If we don’t stop now, I’ll never stop,” I warn her. Pulling away from her breathlessly, I don’t want to rush into anything with her. We barely know each other, although I know more about her than she thinks.