Learning to Love

by Erin Trejo

  “Everything’s gonna be okay, Mouse. I promise.” That doesn’t do anything to help. She sobs harder before I pull back and grab her face in my hands.

  “Look at me, Mouse.” Her eyes slowly come to meet mine, so much fear in them.

  “I won’t let anything happen to you,” I tell her. She shakes her head before opening those pouty lips.

  “It’s not me I’m worried about, Jace. It’s you! My dad called here when you were out. He set that up,” she cries. Confusion shakes me a little. Her dad set it up? How the hell was that possible when my dad was there?

  “No, my dad did. What do you mean he called here?” No one fucking told me any of this. I make a mental note to fuck Link up when I get out of this shower.

  “He called here. He said that he set you up,” she cries. No fucking way! Those two are working together. That’s how they planned that shit out!

  Rage shakes my insides. There is no fucking way either one of them will walk away from this fucking shit alive.

  “I’m fine, Mouse. I’ve been through worse.” Once again, she shakes her head.

  “It’s not ok!” Pushing her against the wall of the shower, I’ve had enough of her doubting me. If I said it’s ok, then it is.

  “Look, I know we don’t know a lot about each other yet, but goddamn,Mouse! When I say, I got this shit—I mean it. Don’t fuckin’ doubt me.” My anger is taking over and I can’t handle it.

  More tears fill her eyes as I take a step back. Fuck! What the hell am I doing? I’m ruining her. I’m pushing her further than she needs to be pushed.

  “I’m sorry, Mouse. Shit!” I roar more to myself than her. Tugging at my hair, she looks so afraid of me at this moment.

  Stepping back into her, I reach for the hem of her shirt. It’s wet, sticking to her perfect body in ways that make my dick hard as ever.

  Her gaze drifts down to it, her eyes widening.

  “You need me, Mouse?” I ask her, knowing that I fucking need her more than the air I pull into my lungs. Tossing the wet shirt to the floor, I take in her body before making short work of her shorts and panties.

  “No bra... I love it. Those tits are the perfect match for me.” Leaning down, I suck her nipple into my mouth, biting down until she cries out.

  “Jace! Please.” Look at my little mouse begging me already.

  I press kisses between her tits and up her neck. The shivers that race through her only harden me more.

  “I’m sorry, Mouse.” Finding her lips, I capture them with mine.

  I say sorry, over and over, hoping that she somewhat understands me. That she somewhat knows that I don’t mean to hurt her.

  Chapter 54

  Mouse

  His lips move over my neck and all I want is for him to be inside of me. I want him more than I want the air in my lungs.

  Jace lifts me, wrapping my legs around his waist.

  His dick slides so sweetly over my wetness before he reaches down. Positioning himself, he slowly pushes into me, but that’s not enough, not now.

  I roll my hips, getting closer to him as he groans against my neck.

  “You want it hard, Mouse? Is that what you’re after?” He knows what I want. The moans that are floating from my lips should be enough of an answer for him.

  Jace leans back, leaving me leaning against the cool tiles of the shower wall before he grips my hips in his hands.

  “Hold on, baby.” The twinkle in his eyes fascinates me. His hips take on a new quicker pace as he fills me full of him.

  So rough and hard, yet gentle in his own way. My hands tighten around his shoulders as he buries himself deeper inside of me.

  “Fuck, Mouse!” I love hearing my nickname fall from his mouth. It’s special to me.

  His pace increases, each thrust becoming more and more frantic until neither of us can handle it anymore.

  I feel Jace cum so deep inside of me. My muscles spasm around him, milking him for all that he has.

  He holds me tightly, his dick still twitching as we catch our breaths.

  He slides out of me, letting my weakened legs fall to the floor in front of him.

  He leans in, his forehead resting against mine, his nose touching the edge of mine.

  “You can fuck me like that anytime you want, darlin’.” His breath tickles my skin before he pecks a kiss on my lips.

  “I might take you up on that offer.” He chuckles lightly before his hands wrap around my waist, pulling me flush against his body.

  “If we don’t get out, Aubrie might come lookin’.” His eyes dance with amusement.

  Pressing my lips to his chest, I watch his body shudder under my touch. I love knowing that I’m affecting his body the way he does mine.

  “Thank you, Jace.” His fingers tangle in my hair, the water running colder.

  “For what?”

  “For coming back to me.”

  Chapter 55

  Bullet

  “Are we wagin’ a war that can’t be won here?” Kane says as he runs his hand through his hair while we sit around the table for church.

  Aubrie did her thing and patched me up, but it went straight through, just like I knew it did.

  “Not exactly.” Bomber eyes the guys before dragging his eyes back to meet mine.

  “Bullet’s dad clearly wants the man dead. Shot the motherfucker himself. Huffman called while we were out. Told Trinity that if she went home, he’d call off the hounds. Obviously, she isn’t goin’ anywhere,” Bomber fills them all in. Micah blows out a breath before speaking.

  “We all know who Huffman is. We know what he’s capable of. What he doesn’t know is that we can back our shit up. We got other chapter’s willin’ to roll down here. We got outside clubs willin’ to step up to the plate. We can afford a war. The question is, do we want it? Takin’ out Huffman puts a big shift in our product intake. Someone has to take that shit over and as far as we know, there’s no one,” Micah informs them all. He’s right. We don’t know who would move in and take over for Huffman if we take him out. He needs to be taken out though.

  His role in Trinity’s life is over. He used her. He took out his rage on her and I won’t let that shit slide.

  “What about talkin’ to Basket? He’s wanted his hand in the underworld for a long time,” Dax says as he crosses his arms behind his head as he looks to the head of the table. Bomber seems to contemplate that for a minute. It isn’t a bad idea. Basket is just that, a goddamn basket case that isn’t afraid of anyone or anything.

  “He’d need protection. He doesn’t have such a good rankin’ with the other clubs. They don’t understand his madness the way we do. That’s puttin’ us at a whole new risk if we take him on. That isn’t a decision to make lightly. Aside from that, we need to get him on board,” Bomber says. Clearing my throat, if anyone can get through to him, I can.

  “I can get a meet with him. He trusts me,” I announce. All eyes come to rest on me. I almost laugh.

  “I ain’t even gonna ask why that is, but do it. Let’s see what his take on this shit is. We can’t make a move until we have that spot secured.” Bomber looks around at all of us. We all nod or grunt our agreement

  “Next order. We know that Bullet’s dad is involved. How deep he is, that’s still unknown. Link will keep workin’ his end but for obvious reasons, Bullet’s worried about his remainin’ family. He has a sister with a kid and his mom, about an hour out.” Kane leans forward, resting his elbows on the table.

  “I got some pull with the Raiders up that way. Throw some cash out, I’m sure they’ll get some boys on watch until this shit’s over,” he says. Bomber nods his head, looking toward me.

  “This is your call, Bullet. Your family, brother.” Tugging at my hair, Stryker speaks.

  “I can vouch for those guys. Good guys, long runnin’ business. They keep their shit straight.” I know he’s trying to make me feel better about this but I don’t. I hate that my family could be in danger from the one man that they have trus
ted.

  “Yeah, let’s do this.”

  “If that’s it, church is over,” Bomber says. Slamming the gavel down, the guys all shove out of their chairs, heading toward the door.

  I scrub my hand over my face, thinking this over.

  “We’ll get this shit handled, Bullet.” Bomber nods his head at me once before leaving me to my thoughts.

  Chapter 56

  Mouse

  All the guys have filtered out of the room they hold church in, except Jace.

  I stand back and wait on him like I’m supposed to but when I see Bomber, he comes straight toward me.

  “He’s makin’ some big decisions on your behalf. Bullet’s my family and I know he cares for you. I don’t want him hurt. I don’t wanna see him in pain. I trust that you realize what you’re in the middle of,” Bomber says. It’s more of a question than a statement.

  “I do... I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, Bomber. He means too much to me for that. He has my heart—he just doesn’t know it.” The smile that tugs across his face makes my heart skip a beat.

  “I can tell you that of all the men in this motherfucker, that one will handle it with care. He loves hard, I’ve seen it.” With a smile, he turns on his heel before stopping.

  “Go on in there,” Bomber says. Looking over his shoulder at me, he nods toward the large double doors that they all came out of.

  With a quick nod, I head toward it. My nerves are in my throat, wondering what exactly he’s been planning.

  I shove through the door and see him sitting at the table with his head in his hands. He doesn’t look up to see who came in.

  “Not in the mood.” I smile.

  “Too bad,” I say. He pulls his head out of his hands, glancing at me with those dazzling green eyes.

  The look in them is torn. I can’t place it.

  “What are you doin’ in here?” he asks. Moving toward him slowly, his eyes stay on mine.

  “Bomber said I could come in.” He scoots his chair back before motioning for me to sit.

  His hands wrap around my waist, pulling me down into his lap.

  He buries his face in my neck, inhaling my scent. It makes my insides stir every time he does that.

  “Are you okay?” I ask. He presses his lips to my neck, causing me to moan.

  “I will be. We just had a lot of things to talk about.” His lips never stop as they skate across my skin. I inhale a sharp breath.

  “Bomber said you were making a lot of decisions.” His lips stop moving.

  “He did, huh?” Nodding my head, he looks up into my eyes.

  “I know shit happened really quickly with us. I know that you were ripped away from everything you know, but I have to ask you this,” he says and my stomach clenches. He looks so unsure of himself, which isn’t the Jace that I know.

  Since the first day he talked to me in that hell, he’s always kept his wits about him.

  “Don’t doubt your instincts, Jace. That isn’t who you are.” His eyes search mine, but only for a second.

  “I just need to hear you say it, Mouse. Say that whatever happens, you aren’t leavin’ me.” A tear slides down my cheek before I lean down, taking his lips with mine.

  “I’m never leaving you, Jace.”

  Chapter 57

  Bullet

  My world is finally feeling complete to some degree. Mouse is everything I thought I wanted but never knew I needed. That’s the thing though, I fucking need her.

  “She looks happy.” Micah slides a beer down the bar to me. I nod before taking a long pull.

  “I hope she stays that way,” I say. Micah nods before turning to face me.

  “I know how shit hurt you with Sharron. I watched you spiral. I never want to see that shit again, Bullet.” I know what he means. Sharron meant a lot to me once. It was when I first came back.

  She was there. She helped me when I couldn’t be helped. She made a place inside of me that she stole. She got too cocky, too into herself. She left me. She walked away when shit got too real for her. She didn’t like the lifestyle I lived or the things I did, she didn’t accept me for who I was. It tore me up. It stole a lot of my trust in people. I never cared about her the way I do Mouse, though. Not even close.

  “She’s different, man. I don’t think I could breathe without her. When we were in that cell, she wanted to die. She dug a fuckin’ rusty goddamn nail out and was gonna do it,” I say. Shaking my head, I remember that shit like it was yesterday. It hurts me still.

  “You know, she didn’t do it cause I fuckin’ asked her to stay with me. She passed that shit through the cell to me. Fuck, man.” Micah chuckles. Link grins, leaning across the bar.

  “You love that woman. Goddamn if I ever thought I’d see the day!” Micah says. I glance over at Link shaking my head as he laughs.

  “He’s right. You love her.” Aubrie throws her arm around my shoulder with a smile that could melt hearts.

  “All of you have lost your mind.” I press a kiss to her cheek before Mouse comes to stand with us.

  “What are you guys talking about?” she asks. I cut my eyes to them, praying they don’t open their mouths.

  “How Bullet loves you,” Micah announces. Her eyes widen before jerking to mine. I don’t know what to say. I know I care for her, but love? That’s a little too soon for me.

  Her features slowly calm before she smiles.

  “You people are insane,” she says. She steps into me, her lips lingering near my neck. I love feeling her this close to me. I feel safe and secure.

  “You doin’ okay?” Link asks her. He grins at her before she nods her head.

  “I am. I’m just thankful that you guys don’t mind me being here.” Micah nods before he speaks.

  “You’re Bullet’s girl. Of course, you’re welcome here.”

  Nuzzling into her neck, I sigh.

  “Are you up for goin’ on a run with me?” Mouse pulls back, looking me in the eyes.

  “Are you sure?”

  Chapter 58

  Mouse

  I can’t believe he asked me to go with him. It’s strange. I didn’t realize that women were allowed to go places with them. Maybe this is just new to me. Either way, I’m excited to spend some alone time with Jace.

  “Are you sure it’s ok for me to go?” I ask again, a little nervous. Jace chuckles before reaching for me.

  “If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have asked you. I just need you near me, Mouse.” Pressing a kiss to my lips he pulls back, passing me a helmet. I slide it on before Jace reaches up to check it himself.

  The way he does things like this for me blows my mind. I’ve never thought I’d have anything like him in my life.

  “You ready? Shouldn’t be a long ride,” he says. Nodding my head, Jace climbs on his bike, holding his hand out to me.

  Grabbing it in mine, I climb on behind him, scooting closer. I wrap my arms around him, enjoying the feel beneath my hands. How his hard, muscles, move and shift.

  Jace revs the bike up before taking off. My grip increases, my thighs locking around his. He reaches back, giving me a little squeeze of reassurance.

  Jace handles the bike like it’s a part of him and I guess in a way it is. He maneuvers the road like he owns it, the way he owns me.

  As much as I’d like to see it differently, I can’t. Jace has owned a part of me since we were stuck in that cell. He made me feel like I was special and worthy of living, when all I wanted to do was die and get it over with.

  Jace doesn’t realize it, but he gives me a new outlook on life. He makes me want to live and do something with my life.

  The wind whips around us, but Jace’s body is relaxed. It makes me feel alive, being with him like this.

  I know that things are going to change. I know that he’s going to war for me. It scares me to a point. I know that Jace says that he can handle this and I’m sure he can, but at the same time, I’m afraid of what my dad could do.

  Max wasn’t the best person
in the world and I know that he has outside pull as well.

  My mind wants to wander to new places that I know I shouldn’t let them.

  There’s a fear inside of me that won’t go away, not until this is all over with.

  Pulling up to a huge house, I look up at gasp.

  Jace parks the bike before shifting slightly.

  “Stay close to me. Basket is a little out there.” Nodding my head, he climbs off before I follow.

  Chapter 59

  Bullet

  “You’re fucking me, right?” Basket looks me in the eye after I made him the offer. I knew he would think it was a joke, but this is far from the time for it.

  “Nope. We need Huffman out. We can’t let Julius in there either. We’re offerin’ the protection along with a few other clubs,” I say. Basket runs his hand through his shaggy hair before reaching for the bottle of Jack.

  “That’s a goddamn big offer, Bullet,” he says. I watch him take a long pull from his bottle before glancing back at me.

  “She got something to do with this?” Nodding toward Mouse, she looks at me nervously but I just smile.

  “Huffman’s her dad,” I tell him. Basket nearly falls from his seat as he takes that in.

  “What the hell is all this, Bullet? This shit could get me killed!” Shaking my head before leaning forward I snap, “Look, Basket. We need Huffman out. I made the recommendation on your behalf. You don’t want it? I’ll fuckin’ get someone else.” Shoving up, I grab Mouse and head toward the door.

  “Wait a minute. Fuck, Bullet! Sit down.” Turning back around, I sit in the chair, pulling Mouse into my lap. With my arms around her, I feel at ease with all of this going on.

  “Your protection is good, Bullet. I don’t trust other crews...” Nodding my head, I make a new offer.

  “I get that. The guys that we got in on it are good, too. They are trustworthy. You won’t have a problem with them or they will answer to us,” I reassure him. Basket blows out a breath before grabbing the Jack once more.