Cowgirl, Say Yes

by Brenda Mott

  “True.” He shrugged away memories of Deidra riding in the arena with Macy and Jason, and instead recalled the times he’d spent with them in the corrals and pastures when they were barely old enough to walk. Riding on the front of his saddle. Then graduating to ponies of their own.

  It had been a while since he’d thought of those days. A long time since Deidra’s death and the happy moments that had seemed to disappear with her.

  “So you have to admit riding is fun, at least some of the time.”

  “What’s your point?”

  “My point is, you just might learn to enjoy it again if you’d give it a shot.”

  “How do you know I don’t go riding with Macy and Jason?”

  “Because I have eyes and ears,” she countered. “Macy told me you ride when you work the ranch and that’s it. Do you know that makes her sad?”

  He glared at Tess. “We’re not going to get into another discussion about what my daughter needs, are we? Because—”

  She cut him off with a raised hand. “Wade, I’m simply trying to get you to come away from that fence and go for a ride with me. Is that okay?” Her voice softened, and her honest request, coupled with the look in her eyes, was enough to break down his defenses.

  He let out a breath. “I suppose.” He eyeballed the fence. He’d just about finished riding the perimeter and had found nothing wrong with the fence thus far. He supposed the rest could wait until later. Wade nodded toward the far end of the fence, which paralleled the road. “There’s a gate in the corner down there. Why don’t you come on in and we’ll ride back to the barn and let the kids know where we’ll be.”

  Tess smiled in triumph and Wade did his best to ignore the sparkle in her eyes. “All right.” She kneed the paint mare into a lope.

  He met her at the gate and swung down from the saddle to open it. “Where do you want to ride?” he asked as she passed through.

  She shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me. I know a lot of good trails, or you can pick one.”

  He shook his head. He’d only ridden with the kids on the ranch or in an arena. “I’ll let you decide.”

  “Okay.” She waited while he remounted Dakota, then the two of them rode toward the barn, with Wade wondering how he’d ever explain this to his kids. They knew him well enough to understand that he considered horses working animals. So how did he make it sound logical that Tess had talked him into doing something so foolish as going for a pleasure ride in the middle of a work morning?

  He simply wasn’t prepared to fully admit he was beginning to feel far more for her than he’d ever believed possible. Not to himself, much less to his son and daughter.

  MUCH TO TESS’S AMUSEMENT, Macy and Jason did a fair job of ribbing their dad about leaving his chores to go off on a ride with her. Tess started to ask the kids to join them, but then a selfish voice inside her head whispered what fun it might be to have Wade all to herself. After all, she could hardly believe she’d actually talked him into going for a trail ride. And she couldn’t help but think about how good it had felt to be alone with him at the lake two weeks ago.

  Wade was pretty much all that had been on her mind lately. No matter how hard she tried to focus on other things and put her relationship with him back into perspective—friendly, neighborly, Wade merely a customer of the feed store and the father of one of her 4-H kids—she could not manage to do so. Instead, she thought about all the things he’d said to her that night at the lake, and how good he made her feel, especially when he teased her. Or when he smiled at her in that cute way. The one that made his sexy lips do wild things to her heart. The smile that caused his hazel eyes to spark with mischief and her knees to turn to wet noodles.

  Waving goodbye to the kids, Tess headed off down the driveway with Wade to the county road. It led to a break in the trees and a bridle path that wound through public Bureau of Land Management land. He didn’t say a word for the first few minutes of their ride, and Tess began to worry that maybe she’d talked him into doing something he really hadn’t wanted to do at all. But then she glanced over and saw the relaxed way he sat in the saddle and the expression in his eyes as he took in the natural beauty of Colorado.

  Breathing a little easier, Tess settled deeper in her saddle and let the scents of aspen and pine engulf her. A blue jay swept across the path into the high branches of a tree, scolding them for invading its territory, and a chipmunk darted across the grass, in a hurry to get wherever it was going. For as far as the eye could see, tall mountain grass spread before them. The distant peaks of the Flat Top surrounded the meadows like the loving arms of a guardian angel, their sharp, clean outline giving the impression you could practically reach out and touch them.

  Tess loved it here. So many of her classmates back in high school had been in such a rush to graduate and leave Ferguson, but not Tess. Not only had she been devoted to taking care of her mother, she’d also been devoted to her entire family, the feed store and the town itself. She found the familiarity comforting somehow. A nice, established routine she could live with.

  “You sure are quiet.” Wade’s statement broke in on her thoughts.

  “Just enjoying the view,” she said.

  “It is something,” he admitted. “Guess we’re pretty lucky to live here.”

  Once again, the way his words reflected exactly what she’d been thinking jolted Tess. She supposed she needed to stop judging Wade with preconceived notions, since he often had a way of surprising her with insightful comments.

  “I think so, too,” she said. Then she grinned. “Wanna take advantage of this cool breeze and let the horses stretch their legs a little?”

  “Sure. I could go for a good gallop.”

  She shot him a challenging grin. “Not a gallop. A run. A race.”

  He grinned back, then tugged his hat low over his eyes. “You’re on. Around the bend and across the meadow?”

  “On three.” She counted, then let her mare take off on the fly. Tess let out a shriek of pure joy as the wind whipped across her face, pulling her braid away from her neck. She grabbed at the bill of her cap with one hand as it nearly tumbled from her head and shoved it down tight, then bent low over Angel’s neck and urged her on.

  The horses ran, neck and neck, along the dirt shoulder of the road, then across the open meadow Tess had galloped through many times. She knew it was safe and level, with no tangled wire hidden in the grass. And because of that, it was a place where she could always give her horses free rein and let them run to their heart’s content.

  Wade shouted encouragement to Dakota, urging the blue roan to move faster, and the gelding began to pull away from Angel. Tess spoke to Angel. “Come on, Angel, come on. Let ’er fly, girl!” The paint’s ears flickered and she pinned them back, running, loving it as much as Tess did.

  She and Angel were a nose ahead of Dakota when they sailed past the big blue spruce that marked the end of their race. Tess waved her fist in triumph over her head as she slowed Angel to a lope, then halted. Wade’s smile matched her own as he pulled up beside her. “I let you win,” he said.

  “You did not.” Tess laughed and swung down from her saddle. She loosened the cinch just enough to allow Angel to breathe more easily.

  Wade followed suit with Dakota, holding on to the horse’s reins as he plopped down on a fallen log. “’Course I did,” he teased. His eyes sparked in that way Tess found so intriguing, and her heart picked up a beat.

  She sat on the log beside him. “How do you figure?”

  “Why, I let you get a head start.”

  “You did not.”

  “No?”

  “No.” She pursed her lips, looking at Wade’s, wanting to kiss him.

  “Well, if you won honestly, then I guess I have to be a graceful loser,” he said. He draped his arm across her shoulders and his touch set her skin on fire. He drew her close. “Congratulations.” Then he brushed a kiss across her lips, which started out playful and ended up anything but.

&n
bsp; Tess closed her eyes and slipped her free hand behind his neck, still clutching Angel’s reins with the other, nearly forgetting and letting go of the horse in the process. Wade deepened the kiss and Tess took his tongue into her mouth, loving the warmth of him, the taste of his lips on hers.

  And wild, crazy questions rushed into her mind. How would it feel to spend every day of her life like this, with Wade? Tess let herself slide into the fantasy she knew could never come true. Riding, kissing, working as a team…helping him raise his kids. She imagined sharing a home with him, their days filled with working side by side on their ranch, followed by a relaxed, family conversation over a home-cooked meal.

  Reality poked its ugly nose into her daydream. How could she share a home with a man who would never welcome her many pets? And where would she and he live? On his cattle ranch, where she couldn’t bear the thought of participating in sending helpless animals off to a cruel death? Or on her rented sanctuary, where Wade would likely never understand what drove her to rescue horse after horse?

  She ignored the voice that said he’d helped her rescue Diego, that he’d even acknowledged the rewarding feeling it gave her. That had been an isolated incident. Surely a man who viewed horses primarily as working animals wouldn’t be able to see things that way for long. She could hardly expect Wade to lend her the emotional support her rescue work required. And she would never be able to lend him support in his lifestyle. How on earth could she ever give her heart to him under those circumstances?

  Tess moved away from Wade’s embrace, and a cold sensation washed over her as his lips left hers. She hated putting a halt to what they’d begun, but it was for the best. She simply couldn’t risk loving a man she could not have a future with. She’d been a fool to agree to keep seeing him.

  Wade frowned, puzzled. “Something wrong?”

  She shook her head, unwilling to get into the issue now. She’d think of a graceful way out later. Tugging on Angel’s reins to pull the mare’s attention from the grass that grew tall around the fallen log, Tess moved toward the horse’s side. “No, nothing’s wrong. I just thought we ought to get back to riding. Since that’s what we came out here to do.”

  He scowled at her as though she’d lost her mind.

  And she had. Over him.

  Sighing inwardly, Tess swung onto her paint. “I know where there’s a really nice trail that runs along the river,” she said. “If you want to ride there.”

  “Sure.” Wade slipped into the saddle, his easy movement making her stomach churn with longing to hold him in her arms and continue the kisses she’d put an end to.

  His manner was reserved, and he didn’t say much as they rode away. Tess wished she could find the exact words to explain to him why she’d stopped what was happening, in spite of how she felt about him. But she couldn’t.

  Because she didn’t totally understand it herself.

  MACY HAMMERED WIRE onto the rabbit hutch, lost in thought. She couldn’t believe how good her dad and Tess had been getting along lately. They even seemed to be having fun together. These days her dad never rode horses just for the sake of riding, and Macy knew that Tess must mean something special to him if he’d let her talk him into doing so. The thought left her all tingly inside.

  Sometimes she wished her dad would get married again. She missed her mom, even though memories of her were few and vague. And the burden of guilt she carried, knowing her dad was alone because of something that had been her fault, added to her desire for a mother. Not just for herself and Jason, but to see her dad completely happy. Sure, he behaved as though everything in his life was okay, but Macy was old enough to recognize there were times when he felt lonely. And that made her sad beyond words.

  When she’d first become friends with Bailey, she’d thought maybe her dad might end up liking her. That Bailey might one day become her stepmother. But right away she’d seen how much Bailey liked Trent. And then the two of them had gotten married shortly after Trent had rescued Macy from that horrible Lester Godfrey, who’d carjacked her in Bailey’s truck.

  Macy would never forget that day. Lester, who worked at the local gas station and drank too much beer. He’d sold Bailey his classic Chevy pickup truck, then wanted it back. When he’d had no money to pay for it, he’d decided to take it anyway. Macy had been sitting in the truck, which was parked at a local convenience store, when a drunken Lester climbed behind the wheel and drove away. She’d never been more scared in her life. And she knew the incident had frightened her dad way more than he’d cared to admit. She’d seen it in his eyes when he’d clung to her in the emergency room at the hospital, where the ambulance driver had taken her to treat the bump she’d gotten on her head during the carjacking. He’d told her that she and Jason were all he had in this world. And that he was very thankful she was safe.

  Macy felt lucky to have a father who cared so much. Some kids she knew didn’t. But still, she continued to wonder if her dad would ever find someone to be her mother. He’d once dated a woman from another town, but she hadn’t been nice at all, and Macy was glad when her dad stopped seeing her.

  Macy wanted him to like Tess.

  She was so perfect, the way she loved animals and the way she treated Macy and Jason as though they were special to her. She’d make a great mom. Macy admired Tess at least as much as she did Bailey. Maybe more. She’d learned about role models in school, and she felt that both of them were good ones. She wouldn’t mind growing up to be a sharp businesswoman like Bailey, but overall, she’d prefer to be just like Tess. She was smart, too, and she worked hard. Two jobs, plus 4-H, and her horse rescue… Now, that was something Macy would love to do.

  The distant sound of a train whistle cut the stillness of the air, and Macy shivered. It was a sound that still bothered her, though she’d never told her dad. What could he do about it, with them living so close to the railroad tracks?

  Pushing the thought away, Macy continued to hammer. And to daydream about having Tess for a mom.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  THE NEXT FEW DAYS Tess focused her efforts on coming up with a plausible fund-raiser to benefit the Western Colorado Horse Rescue. After kicking around several ideas, she finally decided on holding a fun-event—an open gymkhana. While a normal gymkhana consisted of traditional speed events such as barrel racing and pole bending, this one would have things like the egg-and-spoon race and other silly made-up contests meant more for entertainment than competition. She arranged for the use of the arena at the fairgrounds, and as the weekend of the gymkhana drew near, she finalized the last of the details.

  Macy, Jason and several other 4-H kids helped do up and distribute posters, and the local radio station agreed to make, at no charge, announcements of the event throughout the remainder of the week. Bailey insisted on paying for ads in the two local papers, and also took flyers to some of the larger nearby towns and handed them out. All in all, everything looked good, and Tess hoped for a great turnout.

  She tumbled into bed on Thursday night after her 4-H meeting, exhausted but looking forward to the weekend. It wasn’t often that she slept well. She worried constantly about her mother, and forever dreaded a fateful phone call in the night. The past few days she’d slept even more fitfully. Raelene had caught a bacterial infection a few days ago and had been unable to shake it. Tess had spent as much time at the County Care Facility as she could spare, and between that and getting things ready for the fund-raiser, she hadn’t had much rest.

  She awoke this night in the grip of a dream she couldn’t remember. Disoriented, she looked at the clock. Nearly 1:00 a.m. She wondered how her mother was doing. Picking up the phone, she dialed the County Care Facility.

  “Your mother’s condition hasn’t changed any,” one of the night nurses told her. “Don’t worry, honey. We’re keeping a close eye on her. Try to get some sleep.”

  Tess put down the receiver and moved to the kitchen, Bruiser at her heels. There she filled a mug with water, stuck in a wooden stick for saf
ety and placed the mug in the microwave. Maybe a cup of herbal tea would help her sleep. Tangie trotted into the room and twined round her ankles. Tess sat on the floor, cross-legged, and let the kitten comfort her. Her heart still raced.

  And for once in her life, she wondered what it would be like to have another human being to reach out to in the night, or any other time when loneliness and sorrow seized her. She thought of Wade, and wished she could feel his arms around her right now.

  Tess shook her head. What was wrong with her? She’d learned long ago to stand on her own, and had always found plenty of comfort in her four-legged friends. She stroked Tangie and listened to him purr. Animals didn’t argue or expect a thing from you. They loved unconditionally and rarely abandoned you. People were another story.

  She’d already decided she’d been a fool to agree to see Wade. Yet she hadn’t found the time or energy to tell him so. She’d used the excuse of being busy with the upcoming gymkhana to avoid going out with him, and with her mom not feeling well, she’d had even more reason to spend time away from him. Not that he hadn’t offered to come to the CCF with her, because he had. But she’d turned him down, telling him it wasn’t necessary. And she’d seen the hurt in his eyes when she’d done so.

  Could he sense she was pushing him away?

  The bell on the microwave dinged, and Tess rose and took the cup of hot water from it. She removed the stick, added a bag of chamomile tea and walked into the living room, where she curled up on the couch with Tangie and Bruiser.

  Scratching the dog’s ears, she reminded herself that the decision she’d come to was for the best. She’d tell Wade the truth, after the gymkhana.

  FOR THE LIFE OF HIM, Wade couldn’t understand what had come over Tess of late. He tried to determine the exact time that she’d begun to act strangely toward him, and finally decided it was when he’d kissed her while they were out on their horseback ride days ago. What he couldn’t pinpoint was what had caused her sudden turnaround in attitude. She’d seemed to have had no problem kissing him any other time, and she’d been the one who’d asked him to go out for a ride with her that day. He hadn’t done anything overbearing or out of hand. So what the hell had gotten into her?