Cowgirl, Say Yes

by Brenda Mott

  She’d been using every excuse in the book to avoid spending time with him. Sure, she was busy with the upcoming gymkhana, and it wasn’t her fault Raelene had gotten sick and needed extra attention. But though Tess had let him help prepare for the fund-raiser, she still refused to let him accompany her to see her mother. Maybe that was it. Maybe she’d come to realize that he was good for some fun and kissing, but when it came to the serious things in her life, like family, she had no use for him.

  The thought left him fuming. She’d let him get close enough to step past a casual friendship, past a platonic relationship, only to turn away from him. And just when he’d begun to fall in love with her.

  There. He’d finally admitted it. He was quickly falling for Tess, and he hadn’t a clue what to do about it. Especially since the feeling obviously was not mutual. He’d probably be smart to stay away from her as much as possible. To forget about the crazy ideas that were so often on his mind and go back to the way things had been when they’d first met.

  But he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried. And as the weekend of the fund-raiser gymkhana drew near, Wade decided that he and Tess needed to have another heart-to-heart talk. He wanted to get her alone, but how to do so when she kept avoiding him? He supposed he’d just have to go to her house on a day she’d likely be home and confront her.

  The perfect opportunity presented itself the very next day. Wade’s mother had never been the grand-motherly type, preferring extensive travel over staying home with her family. His dad spent a great deal of time alone, so much so that Wade sometimes wondered why his parents even bothered to stay married. But the one time Ruthie Darland always made an effort to do something fun with her grandkids was on or around their birthdays. With Macy’s being this month and Jason’s the next, Ruthie had called and offered to take the kids to Denver on an overnight trip.

  The excursion would include shopping and a day at the Six Flags Elitch Gardens amusement park, followed by an overnight stay at a hotel because of the three-and-a-half-hour drive between Denver and Ferguson. Wade knew his mother would make sure the hotel was a luxury one. Something the kids would find a novelty. How could he refuse?

  Ruthie pulled into his driveway promptly at 9:00 a.m. Her Lincoln Town Car glided to a stop near the back porch, looking totally out of place next to his pickup truck. Only his mother would insist on driving a luxury car in a small town where SUVs and trucks were far more practical.

  He opened the car door for her and reached inside to give her his hand, knowing she expected it. “Hi, Mom.”

  “Wade. How are you, dear?” She unfolded her tall, thin body from the car. Her silver hair was cut in yet another new style, this one short, though somewhat less severe than her previous one. She wore a lemon-yellow pantsuit and too much perfume. Leaning forward, she bussed his cheek quickly, then opened her arms to envelop Macy and Jason as they hurried outside to greet her.

  For the life of him, Wade couldn’t figure out why she’d never been a very good mother, but she still managed to fill the role of grandma to his kids’ satisfaction. Taking control, as she so loved to do, Ruthie ordered the kids to go inside, get their suitcases and bring them to the car so they could get rolling, and not to forget jackets, in case of rain. Then she turned to Wade.

  “I haven’t seen you in a while,” she said. “What with my traveling and your working.” She glanced around, taking in the ranch in one fell swoop. “Your father says you’re thinking of selling all the cattle.”

  “That’s right.” He didn’t offer to elaborate.

  Ruthie’s eyes sparkled. “I think it’s a splendid idea. You need to move past all this.” She waved her hand at the ranch in general. “Take your kids someplace where they can live closer to town. Gain a little culture.” She sniffed. “Ferguson hardly fills the bill on that. Now, I know you’d never consider Denver, and Aspen is beyond your budget, but maybe you’d consider Grand Junction, at least?”

  Wade shook his head, unable to believe her gall. When would she ever learn that subdivisions, shopping malls and theaters didn’t appeal to everyone, his father included. Again, he marveled at the fact that the man had put up with Ruthie’s ways all these years.

  “Who said anything about moving?” Wade asked, folding his arms in front of his chest. “I’m simply thinking of getting out of ranching. But the kids still have 4-H and their horses, and the Circle D will always be home for us.”

  Disappointment shadowed Ruthie’s face. “Oh, Wade. I thought surely you’d come to your senses.”

  “What’s wrong with being a rancher, Mother? You married one, you know.”

  Ruthie’s laugh sprinkled the air. “Of course I did, dear. Why, nothing’s more romantic to a young woman than a cowboy. But we all get older and wiser, and I was hoping you’d done the same. You’re too old to play games.”

  “This isn’t a game for me.” Wade shrugged. “It’s my lifestyle. The one I prefer, the one Dad prefers. When are you going to understand that?” God, he hated the way she always managed to push him into an argument. “Look, Mom, let’s not fight. I appreciate your taking the kids to Denver. They’re really looking forward to it.”

  “I imagine,” Ruthie said. “The city does have its benefits, you know.”

  “I’m not denying that,” Wade said. “It’s just not a place I’d care to live.” Thank goodness, that was one thing he had in common with Tess. Eager to see her and sort out what it was that bothered her, he shifted impatiently from one foot to the other, silently willing the kids to hurry.

  As though reading his mind, they burst from the house in tandem, suitcases and jackets in hand. “We’re ready, Grandma,” Macy called.

  “Dear, don’t run,” Ruthie said. “You’ll soon be a young lady. It’s time you learned to slow down a bit. Maybe wear a dress now and then.”

  To Wade’s amusement, Macy shot her grandmother a teasing grin. “A dress? No, thanks, Grandma.” She slipped her arms around Ruthie’s waist and gave her a squeeze. “There’s nothing wrong with being a cowgirl.”

  Ruthie shot Wade an accusing glare, and he couldn’t hide the chuckle that welled up in his chest. “She said it.” He reached out to give his daughter a hug, then chucked Jason under the chin. “You two behave yourselves, and stick close to your grandmother. I don’t want to have to come down to that big city with a search party if you wander off in a crowd somewhere.”

  “We will, Dad,” Jason said, shoving his suitcase into the trunk, which Ruthie had popped open. “Shotgun!” he shouted, heading for the Lincoln’s front passenger door.

  “No fair,” Macy said, tugging on her brother’s arm. “You got to sit up front last time.”

  “You can take turns,” Ruthie said, rolling her eyes. Still, her face said plainly that she was looking forward to this outing with her grandkids. And suddenly, Wade realized the reason. She could take them someplace for a little fun, then bring them back. It was exactly the way she’d mothered him as a boy. Part-time, leaving serious matters to his father.

  Wade wanted to hold it against her, but he couldn’t. She wasn’t perfect, but she was his mom, warts and all. And his dad obviously loved her or he never would have put up with her. That much, Wade was sure of.

  Impulsively, he reached out and gave Ruthie a hug, brushing a kiss across her cheek. He knew that Tess would give anything for Raelene to be able to make a trip to Denver. He should count himself lucky that his mother had her health.

  Ruthie drew back, eyebrows raised. “What was that for?” she asked, suspicion lacing her voice.

  Wade grinned. “Nothing. Just wanted to say thanks again, Mom. Drive safe.”

  “I will.” She slipped her arm around his waist and returned his hug, then climbed into the car. “Here we go. Everyone buckle up.” She closed the door and waved at him, then drove away.

  Macy faced him through the back window, smiling and waving, her fuss with Jason over the front seat already forgotten.

  Again, Wade thanked his lucky
stars. His kids were the best. No wonder Tess had grown attached to them. And no wonder he continued to be drawn to her. Now, if he could only find out what had been bothering her lately. With that in mind, he climbed into his truck and headed for Tess’s place. No sense in putting things off. But a sudden case of the jitters washed over him as he parked and got out of the truck. So much so that he barely noticed Duke didn’t bark at him until he was directly at the bottom of the porch steps.

  “Slipping up, aren’t you, dog?” He spoke to the shepherd as Tess came outside. Maybe the dog had begun to accept him that day he’d found Raelene roaming along the driveway.

  “Hi, Wade. What are you doing here so bright and early?” Tess frowned. “Is something wrong?”

  “I was hoping you’d tell me.” He rested one foot on the steps and leaned his elbow on the railing. Trying to look casual. Not wanting her to know his pulse was racing like a runaway horse. He couldn’t believe he was actually doing this. Maybe he ought to just forget the whole thing, turn around and go home.

  “What do you mean?” Tess put on a perplexed expression, so convincing he nearly believed her. But her eyes flickered guiltily, and she reached down and made a concentrated effort of patting Duke’s head.

  “I think you know.” He held her gaze as she looked up at him once more. “How’s your mom feeling, by the way?”

  “She’s holding her own. No better really, but no worse, either, thank goodness.”

  “Well, I hope she gets over her infection really soon. And I know you’ve been busy watching out for her and working, and getting ready for the gymkhana. But I have a feeling all that’s made a handy excuse to avoid seeing me.”

  “Don’t be silly.”

  “So, you haven’t been avoiding me?”

  “Of course not.” She tucked her hands in her back pockets. “I’ve just been busy, like you said. That’s all.”

  “Then you won’t mind if I come in?”

  She lifted a shoulder. “No. Be my guest.” She opened the screen and he followed her inside. “Everything okay with the kids?” she asked, glancing at him over her shoulder.

  “They’re fine. Keeping busy. Getting excited for the gymkhana.”

  “Me, too.” Tess kept up the casual conversation as she moved toward the refrigerator and offered him something cold to drink. She whirled around in surprise when he stepped quietly up behind her, nearly slamming into his chest.

  Wade put his arms out to steady her, then removed the cans of pop from her grasp and set them on the counter. Tess looked up at him, face flushed. “What are you doing?”

  He braced his arms on either side of her, palms against the countertop, effectively cornering her. “Making up for lost time.” He pressed his mouth firmly against hers. Tess stiffened, then gradually relaxed. Her mouth opened beneath his, hesitant at first, then more eagerly as her tongue sought his. Her hands found his shoulders, and he slid his arms around her waist and pulled her up against him.

  When he drew back, he could see the pulse hammering at the base of her throat. It matched the rhythm of his own. “Now, was that so bad?” He kept his voice low, teasing. But in reality, he couldn’t have been more serious.

  “Of course not.” She licked her lips. “What’s gotten into you, Wade?”

  “Not a thing. I like kissing you. And from the way you kissed me back, I’d say you like it, too. So what’s the problem?”

  She shrugged away from him and reached for the pop cans. “I don’t have a problem. But obviously, you must. I’d wager you didn’t come over here just to maul me in my kitchen.”

  “Maul you?” He raised his eyebrows and huffed out a laugh. So, she wanted to play it like that. Cool, defensive. “No, Tess, that’s not what I’m here for. I came to let you know that I don’t like the way you’ve been avoiding me. I thought we’d agreed to see each other. To take things a step at a time and see where it went.”

  Tess popped the tab on her can of pop and took a drink. “We did agree.” She nodded. “But the more I think about it, the more I’m not so sure it’s a good idea after all.”

  “Why is that?” Genuine annoyance washed over him. What the hell had suddenly changed? And if that was how Tess felt, then why hadn’t she said something to him right away?

  She looked straight at him, and he was sure he saw an expression of genuine regret in her eyes. “Think about it, Wade. I did.” She picked at the pop tab, creating an annoying pinging sound. “We really don’t have all that much in common. I guess I just don’t see our relationship going anywhere.”

  Wade’s pulse throbbed at his temples and his mouth went dry, and his confidence took a dive. What she said held some truth—about them not having a lot in common. But that didn’t stop him from feeling the way he did about her. Surely he hadn’t mistaken the signals she’d given him when he’d held her and kissed her.

  “So, you don’t want to see me anymore. Is that it?” Wade could have sworn he saw panic in her expression for one fleeting moment. It gave him hope.

  “I don’t know what I want. To be honest, I feel a little confused right now.”

  She wasn’t the only one. He leaned forward and covered her hand with his, as much to touch her as to stop her from making that irritating sound with the pop tab. “What about the old saying? You know—opposites attract?” He moved closer, aching to kiss her once more. He’d hated being apart from her. And while the sensible side of him said Tess had a point, the idealistic side said they had enough common interests, as well as differences, to make things interesting.

  Maybe that was what had kept his parents together all these years.

  “I suppose that’s often true,” Tess admitted in response to his comment. She glanced down at his mouth, and his heart picked up tempo.

  The look in her eyes told him she wanted to kiss him again, just as much as he wanted it. “Damn straight.” Wade reached for her once more and covered her mouth with his. Moaning, Tess gave in and kissed him back. He pulled her nearer still. “I have an idea,” he whispered. His tongue traced her earlobe.

  She groaned and let out a little gasp. “Yeah?”

  “Uh-huh. Maybe I was wrong the other night when I said we should take things slow. Maybe we ought to just dive in and see what happens.” He nibbled kisses along her neck.

  “You keep that up and you’re liable to make a believer out of me.” She braced her hands against his shoulders in a halfhearted effort to push him away.

  “Are you saying you might be tempted to make love with me if I don’t stop?”

  “Wade…” She sighed and kissed him again.

  He readily returned the favor. “I have to be honest with you, Tess.” He spoke between kisses. “I’m already more than a little tempted. So if you want me to leave you alone, you’d better tell me now.”

  She fisted her hands in his shirtfront, mumbling curses at herself. “You’re making it awfully hard to say no.”

  “That’s my every intention.” He sought her mouth once more and slid his hands along her shoulders to slip the straps of her bib overalls down. He sprinkled kisses on her sun-freckled skin and raked her gently with his teeth. “You know, maybe these things are sort of sexy after all.” He unhooked the snaps on her bib. Telling himself this was crazy. But so much fun. “Oh, yeah, I could get into this.” His fingers found the bottom of her tank top, and he moved his hands beneath it, caressing her bare skin.

  Lord have mercy. Her stomach was flat and velvet soft, and she smelled so good. Good enough to eat. He needed to stop screwing around and leave. Now. He had no business pressuring her this way.

  Abruptly, he pulled away. “Damn it. Tess, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so carried away…. Look, I don’t want to push you into something you’re not ready for.” He raised one hand, palm out. “If you need me to back off…if you think there’s really no hope for us, then I’ll do it. But I’m not saying I’m going to like it.” He braced his hand on his hip and held back the words that were in his heart. He
couldn’t tell her he loved her. Not yet. She obviously wasn’t ready to hear it—and might never be.

  But her body language told him what her words did not. That maybe there was hope for them yet. Disappointment dimmed the flicker of desire in her eyes as she fastened the straps on her overalls. She licked her lips and faced him. “Don’t be sorry.” Tess clenched her jaw muscles. “I’m going to tell you something. You’ve been honest with me, and I want to be honest with you.”

  He tensed. “Fire away.”

  “I’m really, really attracted to you, Wade. And I’m confused by what I’m feeling. I’ve never had time in my life for a relationship.” She gave a dry laugh. “You don’t bring boys home when your mother’s got Alzheimer’s.”

  Her words hit him in the pit of his stomach. He’d imagined difficulties in her life, coping with Raelene’s illness from such an early age. But he’d never given it so much as a thought that she might not have had normal dates…a movie or a night at the prom.

  If Tess harbored any resentment, it didn’t show. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. When Mom grew sick, she became the most important person in my life, and she still is. My family means everything to me.” She waved her hand in a circle that encompassed the room. “So does this ranch, the horse sanctuary, my 4-H work…it all means the world to me. I’m happy, Wade, and I’m not sure I want or need to fit anything else or anyone else into my life.”

  “Okay.” He took a step backward, hurting deep inside. But willing to give her the space she needed. Yet the expression in her eyes shifted suddenly once more, making him believe her heart was telling her one thing, even while her head denied it. He held her gaze, studying the emotion behind it. “Tess?”