Popular
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Thank you to current and former graduate students, who always serve as my greatest source of professional joy. I continue to learn from you every day, and your encouragement as I have embarked on this crazy adventure has meant the world to me. Thanks to Sophie Choukas-Bradley, Jackie Nesi, Matteo Giletta, Laura Widman, Casey Calhoun, Adam Miller, Sarah Helms, Maya Massing-Schaffer, Sarah Owens, John Guerry, Whitney Brechwald, Caroline Adelman, Joe Franklin, Shelley Gallagher, Leigh Spivey, Chris Sheppard, Diana Rancourt, and Matt Nock for being so excited with me! A huge debt of gratitude also is due to Sam Sifrar, Ryn Linthicum, Blaire Lee-Nakayama, Matt Clayton, and Jeff Parlin for all the support and incredibly hard work with the Peer Relations Lab, so we may learn more about peer relationships. Thank you to Emmy Mallasch and her always-smiling face for making my day job so fun. And of course, thanks to all of my undergraduate students in Popularity class at Yale and at UNC. Your enthusiastic participation, incisive comments, and keen insights help me rediscover my passion for this subject matter all over again every Tuesday and Thursday.
Special thanks to my mentors, Annette La Greca and Tony Spirito. You invested in me so many years ago, and have remained dedicated advisors for decades since. The lessons you taught me extend well beyond a clinical psychology curriculum. Through your examples, you have taught me how to be a better human being.
Popular was a labor of love, and it would not have been written without the love and support of so many friends who were with me throughout this journey. Jack Harari, this was your dream more than mine, but you helped me selflessly through every step. Thanks to Adam and Jackie Golden, Vicki DiLillo, Barbara Kamholz, Mike Friedman, Erika Lawrence, Doug Mennin, and Lindsey Cohen for your sage advice, perspective, and companionship. Thanks to Lois and Bobby Suruki, Jen Rutan, and Zach Purser for the Tuesday night check-ins at Moe’s. Ilene and Gabe Farkas, Anna Gassman-Pines, David Halpern, Mo Pleil, and Ryan Williams also deserve thanks for their input and encouragement. Thanks to my friends in Davie Hall, particularly Eric Youngstrom, Jon Abramowitz, Deborah Jones, Anna Bardone-Cone, Don Baucom, Don Lysle, and Kristen Lindquist for their support. Steve Reznick, I miss you. Special thanks to the growing UNC group of trade book authors who offered extremely valuable advice along the way: Barb Fredrickson, Kurt Gray, and especially my book-twin Keith Payne. Adam Grant, thanks for your willing advice and terrific publishing resources, and for serving as a role model. Gary Sosinsky, David Kraut, Alan Calderon, and Michael Cohen are owed a debt of gratitude for making my high school experience so fun; thanks also to Jami and Andrew Huber and Steve and Melissa Brooks, who have been with me through every chapter since.
Of course, I could not have written this book without my family. My mother, Judy, and my brother, Rich, as well as Dick and Etta Reigel, offered me a foundation without which nothing would have been possible. But there is one member of my family who deserves my gratitude most of all. And to her, I will forever be in awe and debt.
It’s a miracle I ever met her. In a tiny, bucolic corner of West Virginia, nestled in a valley between Cheat Mountain and the Allegheny foothills, is a tiny town called Arbovale. Just two miles from the National Radio Astronomy Observatory, it has been dubbed the nation’s “quiet zone,” where radio transmissions are strictly limited to preserve the integrity of astronomers’ work. While the rest of the world has become increasingly dependent on 24/7 access to the internet, rapid texts, and social media, the residents of Arbovale are not permitted to use cell phones, wireless internet, high-frequency radio stations, or even overpowered microwave ovens. It is a town that remains sheltered from the rest of the chattering world—about seventy-five minutes from the nearest movie theater or grocery store—and it is certainly the last place where one might go to promote their own status. Perhaps it is no coincidence that Arbovale was the home of the most likable woman whom I have ever met. Her name is Tina, and I married her. And in far more ways than I can articulate, the lessons in Popular were inspired by her. She is a social phenomenon in every context—the most likable at work, in our community, no matter where we go. She brightens the day of everyone she meets, and because of her popularity, she is remarkably effective at everything she attempts. Tina embodies the power of likability. As with many authors’ spouses, Tina offered feedback on dozens of ideas and listened to countless drafts as I wrote this book. She rearranged her life to make it possible for me to begin this new adventure in mine. But most important, just by being herself, Tina made Popular possible, and for me, her love became the only kind of popularity that mattered.
NOTES
INTRODUCTION
one or two in every classroom: John D. Coie and Kenneth A. Dodge. “Continuities and Changes in Children’s Social Status: A Five-Year Longitudinal Study.” Merrill-Palmer Quarterly 29, no. 3 (1983): 261–82.
mental health initiatives as never before: Mitchell J. Prinstein and Michael C. Roberts. “The Professional Adolescence of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology and Pediatric Psychology: Grown Up and Striving for Autonomy.” Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice 13, no. 3 (2006): 263–68.
childhood popularity predicted soldiers’ behavior: M. Roff. “Relation Between Certain Preservice Factors and Psychoneurosis During Military Duty.” United States Armed Forces Medical Journal 11 (1960): 152.
other studies in nonmilitary populations: Emory L. Cowen et al. “Long-term Follow-up of Early Detected Vulnerable Children.” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 41, no. 3 (1973): 438; Jeffrey G. Parker and Steven R. Asher. “Peer Relations and Later Personal Adjustment: Are Low-Accepted Children at Risk?” Psychological Bulletin 102, no. 3 (1987): 357.
worldwide study conducted in: Mitchell J. Prinstein, Jacqueline Nesi, and Casey D. Calhoun. “Recollections of Childhood Peer Status and Adult Outcomes: A Global Study” (in preparation, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, 2016).
to have greater academic success: Sarah E. Nelson and Thomas J. Dishion. “From Boys to Men: Predicting Adult Adaptation from Middle Childhood Sociometric Status.” Development and Psychopathology 6, no. 2 (2004): 441–59; Ylva B. Almquist and Lars Brännström. “Childhood Peer Status and the Clustering of Social, Economic, and Health-Related Circumstances in Adulthood.” Social Science & Medicine 105 (2014): 67–75; Bonnie L. Barber, Jacquelynne S. Eccles, and Margaret R. Stone. “Whatever Happened to the Jock, the Brain, and the Princess? Young Adult Pathways Linked to Adolescent Activity Involvement and Social Identity.” Journal of Adolescent Research 16, no. 5 (2001): 429–55.
stronger interpersonal relationships, and to make: Amanda M. Jantzer, John H. Hoover, and Rodger Narloch. “The Relationship Between School-aged Bullying and Trust, Shyness and Quality of Friendships in Young Adulthood: A Preliminary Research Note.” School Psychology International 27, no. 2 (2006): 146–56; Joseph P. Allen, Megan M. Schad, Barbara Oudekerk, and Joanna Chango. “Whatever Happened to the ‘Cool’ Kids? Long-term Sequelae of Early Adolescent Pseudomature Behavior.” Child Development 85, no. 5 (2014): 1866–80.
money in their jobs years later: Gabriella Conti, Andrea Galeotti, Gerrit Mueller, and Stephen Pudney. “Popularity.” Journal of Human Resources 48, no. 4 (2013): 1072–94.
greater risk for substance abuse: Alexa Martin-Storey et al. “Self and Peer Perceptions of Childhood Aggression, Social Withdrawal and Likeability Predict Adult Substance Abuse and Dependence in Men and Women: A 30-Year Prospective Longitudinal Study.” Addictive Behaviors 36, no. 12 (2011): 1267–74; Marlene J. Sandstrom and Antonius H. N. Cillessen. “Life After High School: Adjustment of Popular Teens in Emerging Adulthood.” Merrill-Palmer Quarterly 56, no. 4 (2010): 474–99.
were not popular . . . obesity: A. A. Mamun, Michael J. O’Callaghan, G. M. Williams, and J. M. Najman. “Adolescents Bullying and Young Adults Body Mass Index and Obesity: A Longitudinal Study.” International Journal of Obesity 37, no. 8 (2013): 1140–46.
were not popular . . . anxiety, depression: Jenny Isaacs, Ernest
V. E. Hodges, and Christina Salmivalli. “Long-term Consequences of Victimization by Peers: A Follow-up from Adolescence to Young Adulthood.” International Journal of Developmental Science 2, no. 4 (2008): 387–97; Bitte Modin, Viveca Östberg, and Ylva Almquist. “Childhood Peer Status and Adult Susceptibility to Anxiety and Depression. A 30-Year Hospital Follow-up.” Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology 39, no. 2 (2011): 187–99; Sandstrom and Cillessen. “Life After High School.” 474–99; Lexine A. Stapinski et al. “Peer Victimization During Adolescence and Risk for Anxiety Disorders in Adulthood: A Prospective Cohort Study.” Depression and Anxiety 31, no. 7 (2014): 574–82.
were not popular . . . problems at work: Nelson and Dishion. “From Boys to Men.” 441–59; Sandstrom and Cillessen. “Life After High School.” 474–99.
were not popular . . . criminal behavior: Nelson and Dishion. “From Boys to Men.” 441–59.
were not popular . . . injury, illness: Per E. Gustafsson et al. “Do Peer Relations in Adolescence Influence Health in Adulthood? Peer Problems in the School Setting and the Metabolic Syndrome in Middle-Age.” PLoS One 7, no. 6 (2012): e39385; Lisa Dawn Hamilton, Matthew L. Newman, Carol L. Delville, and Yvon Delville. “Physiological Stress Response of Young Adults Exposed to Bullying During Adolescence.” Physiology & Behavior 95, no. 5 (2008): 617–24; Caroline E. Temcheff et al. “Predicting Adult Physical Health Outcomes from Childhood Aggression, Social Withdrawal and Likeability: A 30-Year Prospective, Longitudinal Study.” International Journal of Behavioral Medicine 18, no. 1 (2011): 5–12.
were not popular . . . suicide: William E. Copeland, Dieter Wolke, Adrian Angold, and E. Jane Costello. “Adult Psychiatric Outcomes of Bullying and Being Bullied by Peers in Childhood and Adolescence.” JAMA Psychiatry 70, no. 4 (2013): 419–26; Barber, Eccles, and Stone. “Whatever Happened to the Jock, the Brain, and the Princess?” 429–55.
more than one type of popularity: Philip C. Rodkin, Thomas W. Farmer, Ruth Pearl, and Richard Van Acker. “Heterogeneity of Popular Boys: Antisocial and Prosocial Configurations.” Developmental Psychology 36, no. 1 (2000): 14; Antonius H. N. Cillessen and Amanda J. Rose. “Understanding Popularity in the Peer System.” Current Directions in Psychological Science 14, no. 2 (2005): 102–5; Mitchell J. Prinstein and Antonius H. N. Cillessen. “Forms and Functions of Adolescent Peer Aggression Associated with High Levels of Peer Status.” Merrill-Palmer Quarterly 49, no. 3 (2003): 310–42.
CHAPTER 1. The Adult Playground: Where Popularity Still Matters
Chapel Hill called Southern Village: Lee S. Sobel, William Anderson, and Jade Shipman. Market Acceptance of Smart Growth. Washington, DC: U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, 2011.
scene from The Truman Show: The Truman Show. Directed by Peter Weir. Los Angeles: Paramount, 1998.
Daniel has founded and sold: Personal interview with Daniel Clemens, May 10, 2016.
CHAPTER 2. Boorish Bully or Likable Leader: There’s More Than One Type of Popularity
Ignaz Semmelweis began working: Ahmet Doğan Ataman, Emine Elif Vatanoğlu-Lutz, and Gazi Yıldırım. “Medicine in Stamps-Ignaz Semmelweis and Puerperal Fever.” Journal of the Turkish German Gynecological Association 14, no. 1 (2013): 35; also see Sherwin B. Nuland. The Doctors’ Plague: Germs, Childbed Fever, and the Strange Story of Ignác Semmelweis (Great Discoveries). New York: W. W. Norton, 2004.
was caused by “cadaver particles”: Ignaz Semmelweis. Etiology, Concept and Prophylaxis of Childbed Fever. Translated by K. Codell Carter. Madison: University of Wisconsin Press, 1983.
“hurled outrageously rude insults”: Howard Markel. “In 1850, Ignaz Semmelweis Saved Lives with Three Words: ‘Wash Your Hands.’” PBS Newshour, May 15, 2015, retrieved from http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/ignaz-semmelweis-doctor-prescribed-hand-washing.
“publicly berated people”: Rebecca Davis. “The Doctor Who Championed Hand Washing and Briefly Saved Lives.” NPR Morning Edition, January 12, 2015, retrieved from http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/01/12/375663920/the-doctor-who-championed-hand-washing-and-saved-women-s-lives.
“not even understand the limited truth”: Semmelweis. Etiology, Concept and Prophylaxis of Childbed Fever.
as “wretched observers”: Ibid.
“obstetrical training in Berlin”: Ibid.
“Anyone who is popular”: Perhaps erroneously attributed to Yogi Berra. Hugh Rawson and Margaret Miner. “Yogi Berra 1925–,” Oxford Dictionary of American Quotations, 2nd ed. New York: Oxford University Press, 2006.
etymology of the word “popular”: William M. Bukowski. “Popularity as a Social Concept.” Popularity in the Peer System (2011): 3–24. Retrieved from http://www.etymonline.com.
now-seminal series of experimental studies: John D. Coie, Kenneth A. Dodge, and Heide Coppotelli. “Dimensions and Types of Social Status: A Cross-Age Perspective.” Developmental Psychology 18, no. 4 (1982): 557.
designed a follow-up study: John D. Coie and Janis B. Kupersmidt. “A Behavioral Analysis of Emerging Social Status in Boys’ Groups.” Child Development (1983): 1400–16; also see Kenneth A. Dodge. “Behavioral Antecedents of Peer Social Status.” Child Development 54, no. 6 (1983): 1386–99.
same group over five years later: Coie and Dodge. “Continuities and Changes in Children’s Social Status.” 261–82.
ask many questions of each other: Dorothy Miell and Steve Duck. “Strategies in Developing Friendships.” In Friendship and Social Interaction. Eds. Valerian J. Derlega and Barbara A. Winstead. New York: Springer, 1986, 129–43.
associated with the release of dopamine: R. I. M. Dunbar. “Bridging the Bonding Gap: The Transition from Primates to Humans.” Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences 367, no. 1597 (2012): 1837–46; Alan W. Gray, Brian Parkinson, and Robin I. Dunbar. “Laughter’s Influence on the Intimacy of Self-Disclosure.” Human Nature 26, no. 1 (2015): 28–43.
Billy is described by others: Coie and Kupersmidt. “A Behavioral Analysis of Emerging Social Status in Boys’ Groups.” 1400–16; also see Andrew F. Newcomb, William M. Bukowski, and Linda Pattee. “Children’s Peer Relations: A Meta-analytic Review of Popular, Rejected, Neglected, Controversial, and Average Sociometric Status.” Psychological Bulletin 113, no. 1 (1993): 99.
when Accepted children become adults: See, for example, Almquist and Brännström. “Childhood Peer Status and the Clustering of Social, Economic, and Health-Related Circumstances in Adulthood.” 67–75; also see Ylva B. Almquist and Viveca Östberg. “Social Relationships and Subsequent Health-Related Behaviours: Linkages Between Adolescent Peer Status and Levels of Adult Smoking in a Stockholm Cohort.” Addiction 108, no. 3 (2013): 629–37; also Isaacs, Hodges, and Salmivalli. “Long-term Consequences of Victimization by Peers.” 387–97.
Some Neglecteds are anxious: Robert J. Coplan and Julie C. Bowker, eds. The Handbook of Solitude: Psychological Perspectives on Social Isolation, Social Withdrawal, and Being Alone. New York: John Wiley & Sons, 2013; Kenneth H. Rubin, Robert J. Coplan, and Julie C. Bowker. “Social Withdrawal in Childhood.” Annual Review of Psychology 60 (2009): 141.
Neglected people are a bit slower: Jennifer Connolly, Wyndol Furman, and Roman Konarski. “The Role of Peers in the Emergence of Heterosexual Romantic Relationships in Adolescence.” Child Development 71, no. 5 (2000): 1395–1408; Annette M. La Greca and Eleanor Race Mackey. “Adolescents’ Anxiety in Dating Situations: The Potential Role of Friends and Romantic Partners.” Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology 36, no. 4 (2007): 522–33.
though they almost never became Controversials: Coie and Dodge. “Continuities and Changes in Children’s Social Status.” 261–82.
Rejecteds can be divided: Antonius H. N. Cillessen, Hendrik W. IJzendoorn, Cornelis F. M. van Lieshout, and Willard W. Hartup. “Heterogeneity Among Peer-Rejected Boys: Subtypes and Stabilities.” Child Development 63, no. 4 (1992): 893–905.
do not eve
n know they are rejected: Audrey L. Zakriski and John D. Coie. “A Comparison of Aggressive-Rejected and Nonaggressive-Rejected Children’s Interpretations of Self-directed and Other-directed Rejection.” Child Development 67, no. 3 (1996): 1048–70.
Rejected-Aggressives have far worse outcomes: Karen Linn Bierman and Julie B. Wargo. “Predicting the Longitudinal Course Associated with Aggressive-Rejected, Aggressive (Nonrejected), and Rejected (Nonaggressive) Status.” Development and Psychopathology 7, no. 4 (1995): 669–82.
declines in their emotional well-being: Mitchell J. Prinstein and Annette M. La Greca. “Peer Crowd Affiliation and Internalizing Distress in Childhood and Adolescence: A Longitudinal Follow-Back Study.” Journal of Research on Adolescence 12, no. 3 (2002): 325–51.
peers’ attitudes toward high achievement: Jaana Juvonen and Tamera B. Murdock. “Grade-Level Differences in the Social Value of Effort: Implications for Self-Presentation Tactics of Early Adolescents.” Child Development 66, no. 6 (1995): 1694–1705; Margaret R. Stone and B. Bradford Brown. “Identity Claims and Projections: Descriptions of Self and Crowds in Secondary School.” New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development 1999, no. 84 (1999): 7–20.
more likable to the American people: David W. Moore. “Instant Reaction: Bush Beats Gore in Second Debate.” Gallup News Service, http://www.gallup.com/poll/2443/instant-reaction-bush-beats-gore-second-debate.aspx.
range of later psychological symptoms: Parker and Asher. “Peer Relations and Later Personal Adjustment.” 357; Mitchell J. Prinstein and Annette M. La Greca. “Childhood Peer Rejection and Aggression as Predictors of Adolescent Girls’ Externalizing and Health Risk Behaviors: A 6-Year Longitudinal Study.” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 72, no. 1 (2004): 103; Mitchell J. Prinstein, Diana Rancourt, John D. Guerry, and Caroline B. Browne. “Peer Reputations and Psychological Adjustment.” In Handbook of Peer Interactions, Relationships, and Groups, 548–67. New York: Guilford Press, 2009; Gustafsson et al. “Do Peer Relations in Adolescence Influence Health in Adulthood?” e39385.