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mothers’ recollections as “social frames”: Martha Putallaz, Tovah P. Klein, Philip R. Costanzo, and Lea A. Hedges. “Relating Mothers’ Social Framing to Their Children’s Entry Competence with Peers.” Social Development 3, no. 3 (1994): 222–37.
attractiveness is a predictor of likability: Judith H. Langlois et al. “Maxims or Myths of Beauty? A Meta-analytic and Theoretical Review.” Psychological Bulletin 126, no. 3 (2000): 390.
Obese children, for example, are more: Michelle J. Pearce, Julie Boergers, and Mitchell J. Prinstein. “Adolescent Obesity, Overt and Relational Peer Victimization, and Romantic Relationships.” Obesity Research 10, no. 5 (2002): 386–93.
children rated least attractive are: Dodge. “Behavioral Antecedents of Peer Social Status.” 1386–99; Brian E. Vaughn and Judith H. Langlois. “Physical Attractiveness as a Correlate of Peer Status and Social Competence in Preschool Children.” Developmental Psychology 19, no. 4 (1983): 561; Patricia H. Hawley, Sarah E. Johnson, Jennifer A. Mize, and Kelly A. McNamara. “Physical Attractiveness in Preschoolers: Relationships with Power, Status, Aggression and Social Skills. Journal of School Psychology, 45, no. 5 (2007): 499–521.
three months old stare longer: Judith H. Langlois et al. “Infant Preferences for Attractive Faces: Rudiments of a Stereotype?” Developmental Psychology 23, no. 3 (1987): 363.
fussy around unattractive strangers: Judith H. Langlois, Lori A. Roggman, and Loretta A. Rieser-Danner. “Infants’ Differential Social Responses to Attractive and Unattractive Faces.” Developmental Psychology 26, no. 1 (1990): 153.
attractive faces signal good genetic health: S. Michael Kalick, Leslie A. Zebrowitz, Judith H. Langlois, and Robert M. Johnson. “Does Human Facial Attractiveness Honestly Advertise Health? Longitudinal Data on an Evolutionary Question.” Psychological Science 9, no. 1 (1998): 8–13; Langlois et al. “Maxims or Myths of Beauty?” 390.
large part on facial “averageness”: Michelle de Haan, Mark H. Johnson, Daphne Maurer, and David I. Perrett. “Recognition of Individual Faces and Average Face Prototypes by 1- and 3-Month-Old Infants.” Cognitive Development 16, no. 2 (2001): 659–78; Judith H. Langlois and Lori A. Roggman. “Attractive Faces Are Only Average.” Psychological Science 1, no. 2 (1990): 115–21; Judith H. Langlois, Lori A. Roggman, and Lisa Musselman. “What Is Average and What Is Not Average About Attractive Faces?” Psychological Science 5, no. 4 (1994): 214–20.
teachers pay greater attention: Vicki Ritts, Miles L. Patterson, and Mark E. Tubbs. “Expectations, Impressions, and Judgments of Physically Attractive Students: A Review.” Review of Educational Research 62, no. 4 (1992): 413–26.
Even parents, in subtle ways: Judith H. Langlois, Jean M. Ritter, Rita J. Casey, and Douglas B. Sawin. “Infant Attractiveness Predicts Maternal Behaviors and Attitudes.” Developmental Psychology 31, no. 3 (1995): 464.
referred to as “behavioral inhibition”: Jerome Kagan, J. Steven Reznick, and Nancy Snidman. “The Physiology and Psychology of Behavioral Inhibition in Children.” Annual Progress in Child Psychiatry & Child Development (1988): 102–27; Nathan A. Fox et al. “Behavioral Inhibition: Linking Biology and Behavior Within a Developmental Framework.” Annual Review of Psychology 56 (2005): 235–62; Kenneth H. Rubin and Robert J. Coplan, eds. The Development of Shyness and Social Withdrawal. New York: Guilford Press, 2010.
kind of parents we become: Lisa Allison Efron. “Linkages Between Parents’ Childhood Relationships with Their Parents and Peers, Parents’ Relationships with Their Children, and Children’s Peer Relationships.” Dissertation Abstracts International 56 (1998): 3504.
an aggressive social environment: Ross D. Parke et al. “Familial Contribution to Peer Competence Among Young Children: The Role of Interactive and Affective Processes.” In Family-Peer Relationships: Modes of Linkage. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1992, 107–34.
persist across generations of a family: Lisa Serbin and Jennifer Karp. “Intergenerational Studies of Parenting and the Transfer of Risk from Parent to Child.” Current Directions in Psychological Science 12, no. 4 (2003): 138–42.
a world of differences: Avshalom Caspi et al. “Maternal Expressed Emotion Predicts Children’s Antisocial Behavior Problems: Using Monozygotic-Twin Differences to Identify Environmental Effects on Behavioral Development.” Developmental Psychology 40, no. 2 (2004): 149; Ana B. Magaña et al. “A Brief Method for Assessing Expressed Emotion in Relatives of Psychiatric Patients.” Psychiatry Research 17, no. 3 (1986): 203–12.
subsequently grow up to be unpopular: Tara S. Peris and Stephen P. Hinshaw. “Family Dynamics and Preadolescent Girls with ADHD: The Relationship Between Expressed Emotion, ADHD Symptomatology, and Comorbid Disruptive Behavior.” Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 44, no. 8 (2003): 1177–90.
depressed mothers may differ: Carolyn Zahn-Waxler, Susanne Denham, Ronald J. Iannotti, and E. Mark Cummings. “Peer Relations in Children with a Depressed Caregiver.” In Family-Peer Relationships: Modes of Linkage, 317–44; Geraldine Downey and James C. Coyne. “Children of Depressed Parents: An Integrative Review.” Psychological Bulletin 108, no. 1 (1990): 50.
biological reaction in the baby’s brain: Tiffany Field. “Touch for Socioemotional and Physical Well-being: A Review.” Developmental Review 30, no. 4 (2010): 367–83; Miguel A. Diego et al. “Facial Expressions and EEG in Infants of Intrusive and Withdrawn Mothers with Depressive Symptoms.” Depression and Anxiety 15, no. 1 (2002): 10–17.
the concept of turn taking: Robert M. Hodapp, Eugene C. Goldfield, and Chris J. Boyatzis. “The Use and Effectiveness of Maternal Scaffolding in Mother-Infant Games.” Child Development 55, no. 3 (1984): 772–81.
how to regulate them: Adi Granat, Reuma Gadassi, Eva Gilboa-Schechtman, and Ruth Feldman. “Maternal Depression and Anxiety, Social Synchrony, and Infant Regulation of Negative and Positive Emotions.” Emotion (2016), accessed December 14, 2016, doi:10.1037/emo000.0204.
experiencing a clinically significant: Benjamin L. Hankin et al. “Development of Depression from Preadolescence to Young Adulthood: Emerging Gender Differences in a 10-Year Longitudinal Study.” Journal of Abnormal Psychology 107, no. 1 (1998): 128.
the parent-child “attachment”: Mary D. Salter Ainsworth, Mary C. Blehar, Everett Waters, and Sally Wall. Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Oxford, UK: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1978. Reissued by Psychology Press, 2015.
far more interpersonal success: J. Elicker, Michelle England, and L. Alan Sroufe. “Predicting Peer Competence and Peer Relationships in Childhood from Early Parent-Child Relationships.” In Family-Peer Relationships: Modes of Linkage. 77–106.
twelve-month-olds who were adopted: Geert-Jan J. M. Stams, Femmie Juffer, and Marinus H. van IJzendoorn. “Maternal Sensitivity, Infant Attachment, and Temperament in Early Childhood Predict Adjustment in Middle Childhood: The Case of Adopted Children and Their Biologically Unrelated Parents.” Developmental Psychology 38, no. 5 (2002): 806.
differences that help set the stage: Kevin MacDonald and Ross D. Parke. “Bridging the Gap: Parent-Child Play Interaction and Peer Interactive Competence.” Child Development 55, no. 4 (1984): 1265–77; Eric W. Lindsey, Jacquelyn Mize, and Gregory S. Pettit. “Mutuality in Parent-Child Play: Consequences for Children’s Peer Competence.” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 14, no. 4 (1997): 523–38.
Some dominate, set stern limits: Kenneth H. Rubin et al. “Intrapersonal and Maternal Correlates of Aggression, Conflict, and Externalizing Problems in Toddlers.” Child Development 69, no. 6 (1998): 1614–29.
The way that fathers play: Eric W. Lindsey, Penny R. Cremeens, and Yvonne M. Caldera. “Mother-Child and Father-Child Mutuality in Two Contexts: Consequences for Young Children’s Peer Relationships.” Infant and Child Development 19, no. 2 (2010): 142–60; Gary W. Ladd and Gregory S. Pettit. “Parenting and the Development of Children’s Peer Relationships.” Ha
ndbook of Parenting Volume 5: Practical Issues in Parenting (2002): 268.
parents who are hypersensitive: Regina A. Finnegan, Ernest V. E. Hodges, and David G. Perry. “Victimization by Peers: Associations with Children’s Reports of Mother-Child Interaction.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 75, no. 4 (1998): 1076.
directly intervening in their social lives: Ladd and Pettit. “Parenting and the Development of Children’s Peer Relationships.” 268.
psychologists call this “scaffolding”: Ibid.; Gary W. Ladd and Craig H. Hart. “Creating Informal Play Opportunities: Are Parents’ and Preschoolers’ Initiations Related to Children’s Competence with Peers?” Developmental Psychology 28, no. 6 (1992): 1179; Navaz P. Bhavnagri and Ross D. Parke. “Parents as Direct Facilitators of Children’s Peer Relationships: Effects of Age of Child and Sex of Parent.” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 8, no. 3 (1991): 423–40.
a play session with other toddlers: Bhavnagri and Parke. “Parents as Direct Facilitators of Children’s Peer Relationships.” 423–40.
parents monitor from afar: Gary W. Ladd and Beckie S. Golter. “Parents’ Management of Preschooler’s Peer Relations: Is It Related to Children’s Social Competence?” Developmental Psychology 24, no. 1 (1988): 109.
how parents coach their children: Susan P. Lollis, Hildy S. Ross, and Ellen Tate. “Parents’ Regulation of Children’s Peer Interactions: Direct Influences.” In Family-Peer Relationships: Modes of Linkage. 255–281.
intergenerational similarities in popularity: Martha Putallaz. “Maternal Behavior and Children’s Sociometric Status.” Child Development 58, no. 2 (1987): 324–40.
at least once every other day: Robert D. Laird et al. “Mother-Child Conversations About Peers: Contributions to Competence.” Family Relations: An Interdisciplinary Journal of Applied Family Studies 43, no. 4 (1994): 425–32.
and this predicts children’s popularity: Ibid.; Jacquelyn Mize and Gregory S. Pettit. “Mothers’ Social Coaching, Mother-Child Relationship Style, and Children’s Peer Competence: Is the Medium the Message?” Child Development 68, no. 2 (1997): 312–23.
still need their parents to guide: Eric M. Vernberg, Susan H. Beery, Keith K. Ewell, and David A. Absender. “Parents’ Use of Friendship Facilitation Strategies and the Formation of Friendships in Early Adolescence: A Prospective Study.” Journal of Family Psychology 7, no. 3 (1993): 356.
the massacre in Columbine: James Brooke. “Terror in Littleton: The Overview; 2 Students in Colorado Said to Gun Down as Many as 23 and Kill Themselves in a Siege.” New York Times, April 21, 1999; CNN Library, Columbine High School Shootings Fast Facts, May 26, 2016, http://www.cnn.com/2013/09/18/us/columbine-high-school-shootings-fast-facts/.
federal anti-bullying legislation: H.R. 4776—To Amend the Safe and Drug-Free Schools and Communities Act to Include Bullying and Harassment Prevention Programs. U.S. Congress, https://www.congress.gov/bill/108th-congress/house-bill/4776.
states enacted their own laws: Victoria Stuart-Cassel, Ariana Bell, and J. Fred Springer. “Analysis of State Bullying Laws and Policies.” Office of Planning, Evaluation and Policy Development, U.S. Department of Education (2011); Policies and laws, https://www.stopbullying.gov/laws/.
attention to the issue have helped: Mark L. Hatzenbuehler et al. “Associations Between Antibullying Policies and Bullying in 25 States.” JAMA Pediatrics 169, no. 10 (2015): e152411.
some anti-bullying measures are effective: Maria M. Ttofi and David P. Farrington. “Effectiveness of School-Based Programs to Reduce Bullying: A Systematic and Meta-analytic Review.” Journal of Experimental Criminology 7, no. 1 (2011): 27–56; Christina Salmivalli, Antti Kärnä, and Elisa Poskiparta. “Counteracting Bullying in Finland: The KiVa Program and Its Effects on Different Forms of Being Bullied.” International Journal of Behavioral Development 35, no. 5 (2011): 405–11.
what psychologists call “attributional style”: Lyn Y. Abramson, Martin E. Seligman, and John D. Teasdale. “Learned Helplessness in Humans: Critique and Reformulation.” Journal of Abnormal Psychology 87, no. 1 (1978): 49; Lyn Y. Abramson, Gerald I. Metalsky, and Lauren B. Alloy. “Hopelessness Depression: A Theory-Based Subtype of Depression.” Psychological Review 96, no. 2 (1989): 358; Benjamin L. Hankin and Lyn Y. Abramson. “Development of Gender Differences in Depression: An Elaborated Cognitive Vulnerability-Transactional Stress Theory.” Psychological Bulletin 127, no. 6 (2001): 773.
Sandra Graham and Jaana Juvonen: Sandra Graham and Jaana Juvonen. “Self-Blame and Peer Victimization in Middle School: An Attributional Analysis.” Developmental Psychology 34, no. 3 (1998): 587.
attributional style their children develop: Judy Garber and Cynthia Flynn. “Predictors of Depressive Cognitions in Young Adolescents.” Cognitive Therapy and Research 25, no. 4 (2001): 353–76.
easy to modify: Aaron T. Beck, ed. Cognitive Therapy of Depression. New York: Guilford Press, 1979; Judith S. Beck. Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond. New York: Guilford Press, 2011.
Bullies often have the harshest upbringings: Kenneth A. Dodge et al. “Reactive and Proactive Aggression in School Children and Psychiatrically Impaired Chronically Assaultive Youth.” Journal of Abnormal Psychology 106, no. 1 (1997): 37.
often been victims themselves: David Schwartz, Kenneth A. Dodge, Gregory S. Pettit, and John E. Bates. “The Early Socialization of Aggressive Victims of Bullying.” Child Development 68, no. 4 (1997): 665–75; D. Schwartz, L. J. Proctor, and D. H. Chien. “The Aggressive Victim of Bullying.” In Peer Harassment in School: The Plight of the Vulnerable and Victimized. New York: Guilford Press, 2001, 147–74.
In 1991, Texas mother Wanda Holloway: Roberto Suro. “Texas Mother Gets 15 Years in Murder Plot.” New York Times, September 5, 1991.
the story of a race car: Cars. Directed by John Lasseter and Joe Ranft. Los Angeles: Buena Vista Pictures, 2006.
CHAPTER 9. Most Likely to Succeed: Choosing the Type of Popularity We Want
For many, being unpopular: Penn Medicine. “‘Father of Cognitive Behavior’ Aaron T. Beck Receives First Ever Kennedy Community Mental Health Award,” accessed October 23, 2013, http://www.uphs.upenn.edu/news/News_Releases/2013/10/beck.
Jeff Young discovered that: Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, and Marjorie E. Weishaar. Schema Therapy: A Practitioner’s Guide. New York: Guilford Press, 2003; Jeffrey E. Young and Janet S. Klosko. Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior . . . and Feel Great Again. New York: Plume, 1994.
every culture have in common: Jeffrey E. Young. Cognitive Therapy for Personality Disorders: A Schema-Focused Approach. Sarasota, FL: Professional Resource Press/Professional Resource Exchange, 1990; Norman B. Schmidt, Thomas E. Joiner Jr., Jeffrey E. Young, and Michael J. Telch. “The Schema Questionnaire: Investigation of Psychometric Properties and the Hierarchical Structure of a Measure of Maladaptive Schemas.” Cognitive Therapy and Research 19, no. 3 (1995): 295–321.
wide range of serious life problems: Allen, Schad, Oudekerk, and Chango. “Whatever Happened to the ‘Cool’ Kids?” 1866–80; Sheldon, Ryan, Deci, and Kasser. “The Independent Effects of Goal Contents and Motives on Well-being.” 475–86.
INDEX
The page numbers in this index refer to the printed version of this book. The link provided will take you to the beginning of that print page. You may need to scroll forward from that location to find the corresponding reference on your e-reader.
ABC News, 22, 38
Abela, John, 77–78
academic success, 7
Accepteds, 36, 37, 38–40, 43
description of, 35, 44
happiness and, 124
likability of, 44, 119–20
stability of, 37, 38–40, 45
and technical support agents, 136–37
addictions, 59, 82–83, 206, 214, 215
in high-status teens, 86–87
admiration, 62
adolescence:
adulthood affected by, 145–49, 150
brain development in, 149–50
change in attitude to parents of, 47
of Controversials, 49
cortisol levels in, 106–7
and craving for status, 58, 60, 64–65
cue encoding influenced by, 166
cue interpretation influenced by, 166
desires of, 60
dominance in, 69
excessive reassurance-seeking by, 139–40
high-achieving children and, 46
memories of, 150, 151, 152–53, 214
perpetual, 4
popularity in, see popularity, adolescent
and problems with social media, 174–75
social information processing and, 166
status in, 7–8, 33
aggression, 6, 45, 123
of cheerleaders, 68–69
of Controversials, 48
of mothers, 191–92
proactive, 69, 70
reactive, 69, 70
of Rejecteds, 129–30
as shortsighted, 71
status boosted by, 69, 70–71
status lowered by, 78
see also bullying
Aikins, Julie Wargo, 124
Alan, 18–21
alcohol, 86–87, 97, 98
Allen, Joe, 85–87
Almost Famous (film), 66
altruistic wishes, 54–55
Alzheimer’s, 112
American Academy of Pediatrics, 72
American Idol, 170
amygdala, 65
anger, 214
anterior cingulate cortex, 171
anterior insula (AI), 110
anti-bullying measures, 204–5
anxiety, 7, 44, 101
of high-achieving children, 46
of Rejecteds, 47, 48
and self-blame, 206