Inked Chaos

by Grace, M. J.

  “Thank you.” I say, observing him frown. “Thank you for knowing me so well, that you knew I would be ‘freaked’, as you call it.” I smile. “But I have to grasp a handle on this fame thing. I refuse to be running into hotels.” I gesture, waving my hand towards the building beside us, “Or anywhere else or hiding away for that matter, for the rest of my life. This is a part of your life that I admit, I do struggle with; but if being with you, and loving you, means I have to deal with this, then I will. So give me the brief on how to handle this. We’ll get it done, and we can go have fun with our family and friends. Hopefully, with the bonus that it works, and the madness will calm down.”

  Total silence. That’s what greets my little speech, total silence. Tiny turns towards me from the front seat, gives me a shit eating grin, and turns back to look out of the windscreen. AJ just sits and stares at me.

  “AJ?”

  Silence

  “AJ what..?”

  “Diamond.” Whispers AJ his eyes holding my own.

  “Diamond?” I query.

  “Yeah. You’re a fucking diamond. Genuine through and through; strong, with pure class, that shines so bright it makes my eyes sore and my heart burn with the want of you. Babe, you just demonstrated one of the reasons why you captured my heart, and why I know I’m the luckiest guy in the damn world.”

  I stop breathing. Literally stop breathing. His words burning into my heart and soul. What have I done in this life of mine, for lady luck to shine down on me so brightly and have this man love me?

  "AJ!” I say breathlessly, reaching up to place my hand against his cheek, before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss upon his lips, and whispering against them, “If I ever doubted your love for me, you just wiped them all away. You, Mr Lewis have captured my heart, and I love you dearly.”

  “Love you too Birdie.” AJ breathes as he lowers his lips to my own.

  It takes one of the security detail travelling in the other car, opening the front passenger door inquiring what the holdup is, to break us apart, and remind us of where we are. Quickly, I pull out my compact and once again repair my lipstick, before reaching over with a tissue and wiping AJs mouth. With a smile at each other we both turn to Tiny.

  “Okay Tiny, what do I have to do?” I ask.

  It doesn’t take long for AJ and Tiny to brief me. Basically, we are going to stand on the hotel steps, and let them take some photos. AJ will answer all the questions, unless I feel brave enough to tackle one.

  Tiny climbs out of the car and moves to the door at AJs side. As soon as the door opens, the cameras and the noise of shouting invade the car. Reaching back into the car AJ takes my hand, giving it a quick reassuring squeeze. Taking a deep breath, I fix a smile on my face, exit the car, and we both walk to the steps that lead into the hotel. Momentarily blinded by the camera flashes, all I can do is hold onto AJ as we make our way up the steps, hearing the questions being thrown our way.

  Turning to face them with Tiny and Wade at our side, AJ moves his hands up and down in a “quieten down” motion.

  “Okay guys, we only have a few minutes, so please one at a time.”

  “Where did you two meet?” shouts a blonde lady.

  “Funnily enough, our first meeting was on hotel steps not dis-similar to these.” He laughingly answers, and we turn to look at each other, smiling at the memory of our first encounter.

  “How long have you known each other?”

  “Almost ten months.”

  “Will you live in America or England?” Shouts a tubby guy.

  “We haven’t really discussed that, but probably between the two.”

  “Jorgi. How do you think you will cope with the fame aspect, now you’re in the limelight?”

  All eyes are on me. AJ squeezes my hand and turns to the press and I know he is going to answer for me, so I take a deep breath…

  “I have to admit, the attention has come as a bit of a shock, but I know that with AJs support I’ll be okay.”

  “AJ calls you his Humming Bird. Can you explain what it means and why?” another shouts.

  “All I can say is that the reason is personal to us, and we like it that way. So I’m sorry, but no. No explanations on that one.” I laugh and the group laugh too. They knew they’d be lucky to receive that explanation.

  AJ calls a halt to the interview, and we pose for a few photos, then enter the hotel.

  “Well done. I’m proud of you. You did so well Birdie, you were so calm.” He whispers in my ear as he puts an arm around my waist. I mirror his actions, placing my arm around his waist and smile up at him. Proud with myself for facing my fears, and happy that he is proud of me, as we walk into the private room we had hired for our celebrations.

  CHAPTER 23

  Sitting at the breakfast bar, I’m looking through a magazine, whose cover displays a large picture of AJ and I outside the hotel. There’s a write up on our brief interview, with one section saying how stunning I looked, which truly makes me snort with laughter. They wouldn’t say that if they could see me now in my pyjamas, and my hair tied in a messy bun on top of my head.

  I peruse the photos, viewing shots of the band and AJs family, along with other famous people known to AJ. All of which had attended the party. Again, I had been caught out, but this time so had AJ. We both thought it would be just his family and a few close friends; but we hadn’t bargained on Steve being in cahoots with his mum in organising a real engagement party, as she had explained to us later.

  “Got to celebrate properly”. She said. “Quiet get-together, humph!” was her statement.

  So again we had partied the night away dancing, and yes apparently as I was informed, my goofy dance was again in evidence. We had laughed and had so much fun, that I hadn’t noticed how much champagne I was drinking, and it has to be said I did become a bit tipsy.

  Closing the magazine, I rest my chin on my hand and lean onto the breakfast bar. AJ left earlier to go to the recording studio, Jen has informed me that she is spending the day with Razors mother; so I am at a loose end, wondering what to do with myself. I don’t have it in me to do any writing, so I come to the conclusion that a little retail therapy is called for. It isn’t far off AJ’s birthday, so I decide to go on a shopping spree.

  Reaching for the phone I ring AJ to let him know I am heading out.

  “Don’t go on your own Birdie. Ross and Wade are here, so take Spencer and Martinez with you.”

  With a reluctant sigh I agree, and head upstairs to get ready. Reaching for my bottle of shower gel and realising it is nearly empty, I open the cupboard that stores all of my supplies. AJ and I have separate cupboards, as AJ had said “You need more room for all your smelly shit.” Although after seeing his cupboard, I do wonder who he was trying to fool with this statement.

  Reaching in, I locate the bottle I need, and as I pull it out, it knocks over a box spilling the contents. Reaching down to tidy up the mess my hand stills, and I fall to my behind, whilst my eyes stare at the items in my hand. Sanitary tampons. Nothing unusual there, except I hadn’t had cause to use them in weeks. As in too many weeks. Oh My God! I’ve missed a period, and haven’t even noticed. My heart rate slows as I calm myself down, with the knowledge that there is no way I can be pregnant. Okay, we haven’t used protection in ages, due to the fact of my being told it was all but impossible for me to become pregnant, but……?. I stand and peer at myself in the mirror. Don’t be daft, I think to myself. I’ve had no symptoms whatsoever. It’s just one of those things. If nothing happens in a couple of days, I’ll go and buy a test and check it out.

  I finish dressing, vowing not to let it worry me.

  As I arrive back in the kitchen, I find Martinez and Spencer waiting for me. After asking me where I want to go, I explain that I want to try to buy AJ a birthday present. They make the decision between them and we all pile into the Range Rover and head down into LA.

  *****

  I have wandered around this shopping mall, dragging Martin
ez and Spencer along with me for a couple of hours, and have hardly bought a thing. Give them their due, they have been great, they haven’t moaned or pulled a face, but I just know that I am driving them crazy. I can’t help it. My mind keeps wandering back to my discovery in the bathroom, distracting me from my shopping.

  My purchase of the day so far, is a tiny flat white gold bird on a leather strap, which can be worn around the neck or wrapped around the wrist. I’ve had it inscribed “with love, your Birdie”. I don’t care if AJ doesn’t wear it. I saw it and I had to buy it. So, along with a handful of other items, these are the accomplishments of the last two hours.

  I’ve decided I’m going to call it a day, when I notice a pharmacy ahead of me, stopping me dead in my tracks. Gazing at the store for a few moments, my mind grasping at the possibility. I decide that I won’t rest until I know for sure, so I turn to the guys, ask them to hold my purchases, and wait for me outside, as I need a little privacy to buy my next purchase. Neither of them like the idea of my going inside the store alone. Nonetheless, they let me have my way, and I rapidly dash inside.

  Searching the shelves, it doesn’t take me long to locate what I need. A pregnancy test. I pay for my purchase, place it in my bag and join the guys outside, suggesting a coffee somewhere. Basically, I just need a place with a restroom.

  Martinez suggests a place he knows not too far from where we are and we head there, my purchase burning a hole in my bag as we go. Any moment, I expect it to pop out of my handbag onto the floor, with smoke pouring off it.

  On reaching the coffee shop, I ask the guys to order me a latte, and head to the ladies room.

  “Okay girl.” I mutter to myself, as with shaking hands I remove the test from its packaging. “You’ve done this before, and you know it’s going to be negative anyway, so just do it and get it over with.”

  The next few minutes seem to be the longest in my life, as I go over things in my mind. How can the time pass so quickly, without my even suspecting? What’s AJ going to say? As far as he is concerned, when we discussed my past, he accepted the fact that I couldn’t have children. I’m forty-one for crying out loud. I’m too old now to have a child.

  Looking at my watch, I see the time is up. Taking a deep breath I gingerly pick up the test, and look at the result dial. It takes but a second for my eyes to fill with tears.

  Positive.

  The impossible has happened. I’m pregnant. With AJs baby. At forty-one years of age. Oh My God, what am I going to do?

  I take a few minutes trying to calm myself, knowing I have to face Spencer and Martinez. I don’t want them worried by my tears, or to start asking questions. So I text AJ, telling him I’m on my way home, hoping he won’t be long as I need to speak to him, then I walk back out to the guys.

  Apart from looking at me strangely after noticing my wet eyes, they don’t say anything, and just comply with my decision to head home.

  We head back towards the car park, only for Martinez to spy a reporter standing to one side, trying to take some photos. Conscious of my recent tears, and the possible state of my face, I dip my head down hoping he can’t secure a decent shot.

  Spencer tries to move him to the side, but as he is shouting questions at me, and asking me to look at the camera, we are drawing attention from the other shoppers. It doesn’t take long before a few people start to follow us, and try to speak to me; asking me questions about AJ. I can hear Spencer on his phone asking for back up from the mall security or police I don’t know which. All I know, is that I am on the verge of breaking point.

  We reach the doorway leading to the car park, and Spencer closes it behind us, leaning against it, as he shouts to Martinez to get me to the car and he will catch us up. As Martinez grabs my arm and we start to run, I glance back and see him holding the door shut.

  Reaching the car, I jump into the back as Martinez jumps into the front. I’m so busy looking out of the back window, waiting for Spencer to show, that I don’t at first notice that there is someone else in the car until they speak.

  “Hello Jorgi.”

  Swivelling around to face the front of the car, I’m shocked to see Brooke Forrester sitting next to Martinez, as he starts the car and drives erratically out of the car park.

  “Brooke…? What…?” I say dumbfounded, whilst casting my gaze towards Martinez.

  “Martinez, what’s going on?” I ask.

  “Oh, I’d have thought it was obvious what’s going on. Wouldn’t you darling?” asks Brooke as she puts her arm around Martinez and kisses him on the cheek. She turns back to face me, and I’m taken aback by the look of hatred on her face.

  “You should have listened to the warnings Jorgi. Hell! I couldn’t have made it any clearer in the letters. You see it’s all your fault. If you hadn’t come along, AJ would still love my sister; but no, you had to come to LA, with your fancy ass accent, stealing AJ away from her. Well, it won’t take him long to get over you, then he will reconcile with Melody. They still love each other you see. It’s just you, you’re in the way. So that equation will be rectified, and everything will be back to how it should be.”

  “Y...You sent the letters?” I stutter astonished.

  “Didn’t I just say that?” She snaps.

  “Why? Do you not realise that AJ loves me and not Melody?”

  “See, you just don’t understand. It’s always been AJ and Melody, and it always will be. Now shut up. I don’t want to hear your whingeing little voice again.”

  I’m scared, hell I’m shaking like a leaf and struggling not to cry.

  “Martinez.” I call with a trembling voice.

  “Best do as Brooke says and keep quiet. The drive won’t take long.” Is his terse reply.

  I sit back in my seat. I don’t know if the doors are locked. If it was just me, I would try to jump out as we slowed down, but I can’t take that risk with the baby. I have no choice but to wait, hoping for an opportunity to escape later on.

  I watch the city go by, not knowing where we are, trying to recognise anything familiar, when my phone starts ringing.

  “Leave it.” Snaps Martinez.

  Brooke reaches her arm over from the front seat, and gestures with her hand for me to pass her the phone. I dig it out of my bag, and just catch a glimpse at the screen, seeing its AJ calling, before she snatches it out of my hand. With a glance at the phone, she smirks and throws the phone onto the floor of the car.

  Martinez slows the car to a stop, and I look around, seeing that we have stopped in what appears to be the car park of an abandoned warehouse. They both exit the car, and Martinez opens my door gesturing for me to climb out.

  I climb out of the car, stopping in front of him, to look him in the eyes.

  “Why?” I ask, but I receive no reply.

  He roughly grabs hold of my arm, and tugs me towards another car parked a short distance away.

  There’s no one around, but I know I have to take a chance. Grateful that I’m wearing jeans and flat shoes, I immediately wrench my arm out of his grasp, and start to run, heading towards the road screaming for help as I go.

  I don’t reach very far.

  He tackles me from behind, bringing me down with a bang onto my hip, knocking the wind out of me; my cheek scraping painfully against the tarmac as I land.

  “Stupid. Very stupid Jorgi.” He says through gritted teeth into my ear, as he hauls me to my feet, painfully grabbing the hair at the back of my head, as he forces me to walk towards the car.

  I try to struggle, trying to wrench my arms out of his hold, but Martinez yanks me around, raises his hand and backhands me across my face, ordering me to behave. Dazed, I shake my head trying to clear it and regain focus, tasting blood from what I’m sure is a split lip.

  On reaching the car, Martinez holds me while Brooke ties my hands together behind my back, followed by placing some sticky tape across my mouth. When she’s finished, putting a hand on my head, Martinez forces me downwards into the back of the car. He ord
ers me to lie down and stay down, and throws a blanket over me. I listen, as he slams the car door before climbing into the driver’s seat, and once again we are moving.

  I don’t know this man. What happened to the Martinez who smiled and laughed at my silly jokes? I guess he never existed. It was all a ruse, an act, a means to an end. This end.

  Lying beneath the blanket on the back seat, I realise that I no longer have my bag. I must have dropped it when Martinez brought me down. Comprehending that I have lost the only proof of my pregnancy, brings tears to my eyes. AJ may never know that he was going to be a father. The tears start to roll down my face, at the knowledge that I may never see AJ again. Never feel his arms around me or see him hold our child.

  I’m broken out of my despairing thoughts by the car jerking to a halt, and I listen as someone exits the car, and I hear what sounds like a garage door closing.

  The car door opens, and the blanket is pulled off me by Brooke, who whilst pulling my arm, angrily shouts at me to get out of the car. I do as she wishes, and she leads me through a door into what appears to be a one level building, and not a pleasant one at that.

  I walk, with Brooke and Martinez behind me, pushing me onwards through a dirty kitchen, and down a threadbare carpeted hallway. When we reach the end, Brooke opens a door to a tiny room which holds nothing but a bed and a wash basin. Holding the door open as I pass, with a hand on my back she roughly shoves me into the room. Martinez following me in, pushes me down onto the bed, and pinching my chin between his thumb and fingers hard, tells me to be quiet and behave. They then walk out, closing the door behind them, and I hear the lock click into place.

  I stand up and walk around the room, taking stock of my surroundings. The dirty covers on the bed, the boarded up window and the wash basin with a dirty ring around it.