by Kelsie Rae
I burst out laughing, staring at the ceiling as I ask, “Where in the world did that come from?”
He grins back and replies, “I dunno. I was just thinking about how much hotter she looked with short hair.”
I can’t stop smiling as I shake my head back and forth. “Dude. She had a giant bald spot afterwards. No matter how much her hair cut cost, there’s no coming back from that.” I continue laughing as tears roll down my cheeks. Happy ones this time.
This. This is why I missed Luke.
I never really understood how three people as close we were could drift apart like we did after high school. Well, like Luke did. Obviously, Adam and I stayed together, and we tried to keep in touch, but our graduation was the last time I saw Luke until the funeral. He even missed our wedding.
Luke opens his mouth to reply with an undoubtedly sarcastic comment when the doctor opens the door.
He’s an attractive older gentleman with salt and pepper hair that is cut short. He eyes my chart before looking up and smiling at me.
“I’m Dr. Fellows. It’s nice to meet you,” he introduces himself, shaking my hand. “Congratulations on your pregnancy. Let’s take a look, shall we?” I see him slip on some gloves then he lays me down on the exam table.
I’m not one hundred percent sure where he’s going with this until he guides my feet to the stirrups. I quickly look over at Luke, seeing his face, on which there is what I can only describe as a “deer in the headlights” look.
He goes to grab the door handle attempting to make a quick escape before my death grip on his forearm comes back with a vengeance.
“Don’t you dare leave me!” I practically yell, again.
He looks at me like I must be crazy as he says, “You want me to stay?”
I know I must be as insane as he thinks I am because all I can do is nod frantically, refusing to let go of his arm.
Luke takes a deep breath, rubbing his palm over his face. He loudly exhales before whispering, “I won’t look. Promise.”
He continues to make eye contact with me as the doctor slowly lifts the blanket and proceeds to check me.
After he’s finished, he puts the blanket back in place, and I hear Luke let out a breath he had apparently been holding.
Dr. Fellows proceeds to squeeze some cold stuff onto my lower belly and pulls out what I assume is an ultrasound wand.
After a few seconds, I start to hear a quick whooshing sound. It’s loud enough that I break my eye contact with Luke as I shift my gaze to Dr. Fellows. He’s officially gained my full attention.
“Is that…?” I don’t finish my sentence, letting the words hang in the air.
The tiny rhythmic sound fills my ears and I’m immediately filled with a sense of awe and wonder. It’s a feeling I know I’ll remember for the rest of my life, one I will never take for granted.
“Your baby’s heartbeat. Congratulations you two!” Dr. Fellows states with a giant grin.
I smile back widely before registering what he’s said.
I feel my eyebrows pinch, my smile fading. You two? Who? It’s just me.
Wait.
My eyes bug out of my head as I bounce my gaze between Luke and Dr. Fellows.
Again?
No.
No. No. No. No.
How do people keep confusing Luke for the dad?
“He’s not the father!” I practically yell at the poor man before he quickly apologizes.
“I’m so sorry! I had just assumed....” He lets his voice trail off before I notice his gaze stuck on Luke’s and my hands. Somehow our fingers have become tangled and are resting on the exam chair next to my hip.
I quickly release his hand and wipe mine on the top of my shirt.
Luke clears his throat loudly, running the hand I had been holding through his hair, again. He does that a lot around me. Remember how I said it’s one of his nervous ticks?
Luke quickly comes to my rescue before I can have another meltdown, smoothing over the simple misunderstanding.
“It’s an honest mistake,” he answers for me. “Although, I would be lucky to call this baby mine. Thank you so much for your time, Dr. Fellows. I really appreciate you taking care of Liv for me. I’m sure we’ll get to know each other well over the upcoming months.”
I’m still lying on the exam table, trying to comprehend what he just said as my eyes bounce between the doctor and Luke again.
Seriously, I’m starting to get dizzy.
Luke notices my reclined state and helps me sit up, being careful to keep my lower half covered. I swing my legs over the edge of the table. His hand remains on my upper back as he holds my stare, silently questioning if I’m alright. I nod my head slightly before he finally releases his hold on me, stepping back toward Dr. Fellows.
“Well, if you need anything, be sure to let me know. Otherwise, I will see you in four weeks. Make sure you take your prenatal vitamins daily,” Dr. Fellows says, reaching for the door handle. I can practically see the wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out who the hell Luke is, if he’s not the father.
Dr. Fellows shakes his head and exits the room, quietly closing the door behind him.
“I guess we should’ve expected people to make that assumption. I’m so sorry, Liv. I’m not trying to make things harder on you. I just wanted to support you and the baby. I wanted to be part of this—as a friend.” He rushes the last part out.
I shrug, trying to act casual. He’s right. We should’ve expected people to make that assumption. Who wouldn’t? He’s an extremely attractive guy, holding hands with a girl at a prenatal appointment. He’s got dark hair and I’ve got light. It’s not like they would’ve assumed we were siblings.
I blow air out of my lips while tucking my hair behind my ear and trying to get a better grasp on my crazy emotions.
“It’s not a big deal, and I’m glad you’re here.” I pause, giving him a shy smile. “Seriously, I don’t think I could’ve done this without you. I know I need to get used to doing things on my own, but I really appreciate you being here for me.”
I go to stand up and give him a hug before I realize I’m still very naked on my lower half. I barely catch the corner of the blanket as my feet touch the ground. I yank it up to keep myself covered, causing a slit to reveal my upper thigh. I then bend at the waist to use my other hand to clamp the rest of the blanket together near my knee.
I look up at Luke, my cheeks flaming, only to see his eyes glued to my now-covered legs. His lips are parted, and I can see his chest rising and falling quickly. It seems as if time stops, and I’m afraid I’ll die from embarrassment before Luke breaks his stare and smirks at me saying, “I was planning on taking you to dinner after your appointment, but I didn’t know I’d get a show, too.”
I burst out laughing, grateful for his sense of humor at my awkwardness. “Well I plan on getting dessert!”
Luke
I can’t believe I offered to go with her to the appointment. Really, I blame the app I downloaded. It went into way too many details of everything that can go wrong during a pregnancy, and how each doctor’s appointment is supposed to go. What if they detected something was wrong with the baby? I couldn’t let her go through that alone. After reading the details, there’s no way I could do that to her!
But to sit in a room with a nearly naked woman that I’ve been in love with since forever? That was a different kind of torture. Thankfully, as soon as the doctor came in I was conveniently distracted. That is, until he left again, and she showed way too much skin. I try to remind myself that I’ve seen her in a bikini multiple times, but it doesn’t seem to stop the image of her silky thighs from being ingrained into my memory for the rest of my life.
And then to be confused as the baby’s the father? I couldn’t believe how quickly my heart rate picked up at the idea of sharing the responsibilities of parenthood with someone as amazing as Liv. The elation I felt so intensely was quickly replaced by shame.
I’m starting to feel guilty f
or being here instead of Adam.
I shouldn’t be here.
But I promised Liv.
The shame is gnawing at my conscience. I may have wished I was Adam in high school, but that doesn’t mean I want to be a poor replacement for the guy. This is his wife. His child. He should be here.
I shouldn’t be.
Chapter Seven
Liv
It’s been two months since my first appointment. I got a job as a receptionist at a law firm because Luke knew a guy needing some help. It’s pretty boring work, but they’re great about my pregnancy and have been really understanding whenever I’ve needed to miss work for my appointments.
Luke has insisted on coming to every one of them, and I can see Dr. Fellows and him developing a great relationship. Apparently, he told Dr. Fellows about Adam while I was getting dressed after my first appointment, and since then, Dr. Fellows has been really sensitive to my situation.
While I’m grateful for Luke’s support and protectiveness, I often have to remind him that I’m not a delicate flower. I’m getting better. It’s taking time, but I’m moving forward. That’s the only thing I can do in my situation, and Adam wouldn’t have wanted me to mourn him forever. It’s only been five months, so I am definitely still mourning. But Adam was the happiest person I know, and he hated when I was sad. He would want me to be happy. Luke is good at reminding me of that.
He knows when I need a shoulder to cry on and will hold me, taking a walk down memory lane right by my side. He also knows when I need to take my mind off things. The stresses of today. The unknowns of tomorrow. That’s when we go on adventures, which might be a trip to the zoo, or a last-minute run to the grocery store for ice cream and a movie.
Luke can look into my eyes and see exactly what I need. Hell, he doesn’t even need to see me. I can send him a text and he just knows. It’s a gift he’s always had. I’ve never understood how he does it, but he just likes to call himself The Liv Whisperer. I like to call him The Jackass, although he knows I’m kidding.
I don’t know where I’d be without him, and it scares me how much more I’m relying on him.
--
It’s Thursday morning, and I have just finished putting on my fitted shirt and navy pencil skirt. I pause in front of the mirror, noticing the fabric stretching along my stomach. I’m going to have to get some maternity clothes soon. I’m excited to finally start looking pregnant, instead of like I just ate one too many pizzas.
Opening up my mascara, I start applying it to my lashes, my mouth forming a tiny ‘o’.
I see Luke out of the corner of my eye in the mirror as he leans his shoulder against the doorjamb. He’s dressed in a white button-down shirt with the top two buttons undone, his charcoal gray slacks molding to his muscular thighs. I rarely see him in anything but jeans and a t-shirt, and nearly poke my eye out as I take in his appearance. He looks good. Sophisticated. An alpha-male through and through. No wonder he has ladies chasing him left and right.
He clears his throat to get my attention.
“So, do you have any plans for tonight?”
I roll my eyes. He knows my only plans include a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, yoga pants, and the TV remote.
“Why yes, I do. Did I forget to tell you? I’m going to the Ball. My fairy godmother asked me to be ready by seven.” I bat my lashes at him, while giving him a cheeky grin.
“Perfect,” he says. “But tell her that the pumpkin carriage won’t be necessary. I’m more than happy to drive,” he smirks back at me.
I feel my brows furrow, my smile sliding off my face.
Am I missing something?
“I’m sorry, what was that?” I ask, confused.
Luke laughs. “Seriously, be ready at seven. I’m taking you out. There’s no way that much ice cream can be good for the baby, anyway.”
He pushes himself off the door and places his hand on my belly, rubbing it like a genie might pop out.
I swat his hand away. “There’s no such thing as too much ice cream, you silly man. Where are we going, anyway?” I ask, putting my hand on my hip.
He slips a piece of hair behind my ear, grinning mischievously.
“It’s a surprise. But wear something other than yoga pants, will ya?” He winks at me before walking down the hallway, leaving me to my own thoughts.
Did he just make fun of my yoga pants?
“Jackass!” I yell in reply, his laughter echoing down the hall.
--
Later that evening, I’m busy staring at my closet, having no clue what to wear. “No yoga pants” isn’t much direction, but I finally decide on a mint-colored sundress that falls just above my knees and does a pretty good job at hiding my baby bump. I almost feel normal as I pair it with some sandals and a simple silver necklace. My hair is down and curly, falling just above my shoulders.
I shrug as I look myself up and down. It’s not like I’m trying to impress Luke. And yet, I want to feel pretty tonight. It’s been a while since I had a night on the town.
That must be it.
I grab my clutch and walk out into the family room. Luke is sitting on the couch, staring at his phone. I can’t help but assume it’s Trisha that holds his attention. Does she know Luke and I are going out? It’s not like it’s a date. Obviously. He has a girlfriend.
He looks up, and I feel a little vulnerable as I see him slowly take in my appearance, starting with my toes. When he finally meets my eyes, I bite my lower lip and shrug my shoulders, mumbling under my breath, “Sorry I’m not a leggy chick with long dark hair and giant boobs.”
I turn my eyes toward the floor, praying he didn’t hear my ridiculous remark.
I’m nervous.
Why am I nervous?
This is Luke. My Luke. He’s seen me puke my guts up, on more than one occasion, and pee my pants from laughing too hard. He’s been there to hold me when I cry and to crack a joke when I’m grouchy.
What is wrong with me? All of a sudden, I feel like crying.
I think I just realized that he’s not my Luke anymore. He’s Trisha’s.
This is ridiculous. Come on, Liv…buck up. Stop being so emotional.
Luke steps forward and gently tilts my chin up so he can see my eyes.
“Liv. If I wanted a leggy chick with dark hair and giant boobs, I would’ve asked Trish to go with me.”
Shit. He heard me.
I feel my cheeks heat and try to pull away, feeling absolutely mortified and a little hurt, by how quickly he tore through my already shaky self-confidence. He grabs both sides of my face, making sure I have his full attention.
“You look gorgeous tonight. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I don’t want to be with anyone else in the world, except you. And only you.” He smirks. “And I guess your heirloom tomato can tag along, too.” I snort, knowing he’s talking about the baby.
He downloaded an app that sends notifications every week telling you how much the baby has grown, as well as the size of fruit or vegetable they are.
Apparently, my little one is the size of an heirloom tomato.
What the hell is an heirloom tomato?
Luke pulls me into a hug before kissing the top of my head, his lips lingering for a minute.
Hesitantly, he pulls away. “Come on. We don’t want to be late.”
--
We pull up outside a concert hall, and I give Luke the side eye.
“Seriously, will you just tell me where you’re taking me?” I yell, exasperated.
He grins widely. I can practically feel his excitement rolling off him in waves, reminding me of a kid on Christmas morning. He places his hand on my knee and squeezes playfully after turning off the car. I yelp, pushing his hand away. He knows how ticklish I am!
Bastard.
“We, my dear girl, are going to experience something we’ve only ever dreamed about.” He winks in my direction.
I raise one eyebrow at his cryptic statement, deciding he’s absolutely crazy.
He grabs my chin, turning my face toward the windshield. Luke leans in, and I can feel his breath on my ear as he whispers. “We’re going to see…” he pauses for effect, “Jerry Seinfeld.”
I hear myself squeal in excitement before he even finishes his sentence, and I bounce in my seat eagerly.
I think I may have peed myself a little.
“Yes! Are you freaking serious? You can’t be serious. I’ve wanted this for forever! How did you get tickets? How did you know about this? How did you keep it a secret?” I shriek excitedly.
He just smirks back at me, shaking his head back and forth and chuckling at my enthusiasm.
“So I take it this is a good surprise?” he asks me with a knowing grin.
“Hell yes, it is!” I say, doing another little happy dance in my seat. I can’t contain my excitement as we exit the car. I jump into his arms and squeeze him so tight I’m afraid I might break him. Which is ridiculous since they guy is like solid rock. Still, my enthusiasm is contagious as he swings me around in his arms, laughing with me.
He and I have been watching Seinfeld reruns since forever. Adam always made fun of the fact that we were obsessed with a show that was as old as we were. But I just couldn’t help it. I mean, it’s a show about nothing. What’s not to love?
--
Jerry was hilarious. Seriously. My sides still hurt from laughing so hard. I even cried at one point. Although that may have been the hormones.
Regardless, it was one of the best nights ever. After the show, Luke and I went to a little Italian restaurant where I loaded up on breadsticks and alfredo. After the waiter cleared our table, I ordered chocolate cake for dessert. Luke enjoyed watching me eat enough for two grown men, let alone an heirloom tomato.
I don’t ever remember laughing so hard in my life, and it wasn’t just Mr. Seinfeld. Luke knew just what to say to keep me in stitches all throughout dinner.
As I’m finishing up my cake, convinced my smile is etched into my face forever, Luke grabs my hand on the table.
“Are you doing okay, Liv?” he asks, his face sobering somewhat.
I pause, seriously considering his question. The low-lit ambiance of the restaurant adds to the intimacy of the question.