Leaving Yesterday

by Zoe Dawson

  He closed his eyes, wanting her, his body ready to take what he wanted, and yet he hesitated, caught between the pain of having her for the short-term and the sheer pleasure and joy. He’d guarded his heart, that wasn’t something he was ignorant of for a moment. All the women he’d been with and none of them had done what his tough little commander had done. She’d sneaked her way inside.

  “Trace?” she said softly, feeling his conflict. “What is it? I’m completely sure about being protected.”

  “It’s not that.”

  “What is it then?”

  He laughed softly and settled on his elbows. “You, all 120 pounds of you, scare the crap out of me.”

  She closed her eyes. “Ditto. Mr. 190 Pounds, and you’re heavier.”

  “I’m 185, but close.” He chuckled and caught his bottom lip in his teeth when she moved. “If you do that too many times, we won’t need to worry about sanity, because I’ll lose my mind.”

  “That sounds good. Stop thinking so much. Take something for yourself, Trace. Your responsibilities will be there in the morning, as will mine.”

  “Too true.”

  He slipped his hands under her back and she wrapped her arms around his neck again, gathering him against her in an embrace so strong, so tight he felt almost lost in it. His rough-work hand slipped into the soft strands of her hair as he held her against him.

  Rafferty shivered and it tore him up, then proceeded to shred him when she pressed soft kisses against his jaw, released him, and smoothed her hand down his chest. It was the sweetest of touches and did unbearable things to his heart, and Trace was completely lost to her.

  “Ah, Raff,” he whispered hoarsely, covering her mouth in a hot, starving kiss.

  It was like being shocked with ten thousand volts, and Rafferty made a low sound, succumbing to the urgency clamoring in him, her mouth softening beneath his, lifting herself against him, counter-stroking along the length of him, driving him further into madness. He jerked at the mind-blowing pleasure. He reached down and touched her intimately and she shuddered against him, her mouth losing suction as she made that sexy sound he was beginning to love, a deeply aroused moan he wanted to hear over and over.

  He widened his mouth over hers, his fingers driving her to the brink, and then he moved down her body, his chest expanding raggedly. His hands grasping and dragging her hips to him, his breath caught as he opened his mouth against her soft, wet heat. The instant he touched her with his tongue, she sobbed, moving against him. Cupping her buttocks, he ravaged her, plundering her. Rafferty clutched at him as he drove her deeper and deeper into the heat of urgency, silently begging for more.

  Overloaded with sensations and the scent of her, he was relentless. A violent tremor coursed through her, and her body went rigid with a snapping tension. He made a rough sound as she shattered. He absorbed the sound of her pleasure, the feel of her breasts brushing his chest, using his fingers to prolong her pleasure and then push her over again.

  Unable to stand the hot pulses, his erection achingly hard, he surged up her body and covered her mouth in a kiss that made her move against the hardness of him, made him crazy with wanting. He twisted his pelvis against her hips, slid his hands up her powerful curves, cupping the fullness of her breasts. Making a low, incoherent sound deep in his throat, he thumbed her hardened nipples, then plundered her mouth with his tongue, and Rafferty gripped him, a jolt of hunger impelling him with a raw need that came from his soul.

  The movement of his thighs and hips made her ride hard against him. Crushing her beneath him, Rafferty cried out against his mouth. Lifting her hips to accommodate him, he thrust into her, his mouth hungry and wild, and Rafferty clutched at him with her legs latching around his hips, frantic for the tormenting, assuaging rhythm, frantic for the feel of her wet heat, frantic for the feel of him deep inside her.

  With a desperate moan, she whispered, “Oh, yes. Trace…”

  He gritted his teeth against the swelling, throbbing heaviness in him, the tormenting, mind-bending pleasure of each hard stroke. She made him uncivilized, like an animal, like that feeling in combat when you had to go all out and lose your humanity a bit to do what you needed to do.

  With an agonized groan, he captured her mouth in a fierce, wild, hot kiss, then he shifted, and she went a little crazy when he pumped slow, then fast. She ground her mouth against his and lifted her hips to meet his thrusts. Buried deep inside her, he rocked against her, and lost all touch with reality as the sensations inside him started to gather and gather, pulling into one hot, pulsating center. He moved again and again, and the sensations converged, and she cried out and arched stiffly against him, the explosion rocketing him off into a splintering release. Clutching at her, a low tormented groan ripped from him as he jerked against her. Fierce spasms continued to convulse through him and she clung to him, snowballing his pleasure.

  Fighting for breath, she cradled his head against the curve of her neck, a fierce, almost frantic protectiveness welling up in him. Shoot, this woman shredded him.

  His breathing still out of control, he smoothed his hand up into her hair, lifting his head, and met her gaze for a heartbreaking moment. Her eyes were glazed and warm, meeting his direct gaze with her own, the sensation of touching her heart mingling with the feeling of her touching his without even moving, the power flowing between them like open conduits.

  He lowered his mouth to hers and gave himself up to the biggest mistake of his life. It was the sweetest thing he’d ever done—to sink into her kiss, to hold her body, to feel her skin. The smell of her was like a balm to his soul, soft skin, warm scent, sweet woman sighing in his mouth and firing up all his cylinders. He pulled her close, loving the feel of her, the life of her, and it wasn’t close enough.

  “So tell me something about yourself that not many people know.”

  “I believe in alien abductions.”

  He huffed out a laugh.

  “Do you? You’re in the right state.”

  “I am. Montana’s history with aliens dates back well into the ’forties. Great Falls is home to one of the most revered UFO videos ever shot, and don’t get me started on crop circles.”

  “The truth is out there? The X-Files and Roswell, Area 51 are all real?”

  “Sure as shootin’.”

  “Hey,” he said softly, going for her ribs. She jumped, yelping as he tickled her. “Only aliens I ever saw were in the movies, but I’ve got to hear more about this.”

  “You sound just like my friends. They tease me all the time.”

  “Shhhh, what’s that?”

  She sat up straighter, her eyes widened. “What?”

  He made an ooh-eee-ooh noise. “I think they’re coming for us.”

  This time she went for his ribs and they fell down laughing, until the joking fizzled out and he kissed her, then kissed her some more, forgetting all about little green men and discovering some other sexier things about Rafferty.

  He was in so much trouble.

  He’d had hot, fast sex before, too many times it was comfortable to count. But this was different. The stakes were higher, incalculably higher, and he knew a whole lot more about Rafferty Hamilton than he’d bothered to find out about any of the women he’d slept with. But, the kicker was he wanted to find out a whole lot more.

  He was older and wiser, and he wanted to explore this woman all night and…dammit, into the future. There wasn’t enough time.

  What the hell did he think was going to happen? He was too much of a realist to think that happily ever after would come out of this. And when had hot sex turned into crazy lovemaking?

  Chapter 17

  Cadie woke to Harley’s cries. She went to his room with Reese close on her heels. Soothing him and giving him the prescribed pills that Dr. Hudson left for him, she went down the hall to Trace’s room. He wasn’t there and his bed was made.

  Reese stood behind her. She looked at him. “Where’s Trace?”

  “Don’t know.” />
  She walked to the window and looked out. “The tow truck’s still here, but his truck isn’t. Do you think he’s okay?”

  “Yes,” Reese said, looking like he didn’t want to talk about it. Was it because it was intimate stuff? Cadie was pretty sure he was with Rafferty. She didn’t want to get her hopes up, but Cadie really loved Rafferty. She didn’t want her to leave. She had some notion that she was falling in love with the town, and if she and Trace were to fall in love…well, that would be simply perfect. “Don’t worry about him. He’s fine. I’ll ask Chet’s wife to stay with Harley. Let Trace have some alone time. He deserves it. Get ready for school.”

  Cadie couldn’t stop thinking about Rafferty and Trace all the way over to Anzu’s house. She had gotten into the habit of riding to school with Anzu. They had become closer over the past week as homecoming preparations heated up.

  “Hey,” Anzu said, waving her hand in front of Cadie’s face. “You’re in another world.”

  “Trace didn’t come home last night.”

  Anzu’s brows rose. “Isn’t that interesting? My mom was just worrying about Rafferty. Apparently she didn’t come home either. And her friend doesn’t look happy about it. You know what it means being out together overnight…I wish she could stay.”

  Cadie heard the eagerness in Anzu’s voice. “You love her, too.”

  The bus rumbled up and they got on board, sitting together. “I think she’s the coolest, and she really cares about people. She has the best advice.”

  “Yeah, you told me about how she suggested you get involved and look at you now. Invitations to parties, helping us with homecoming, and I’m so impressed with your talent. You’ve outdone yourself on the decorations, and the float is rocking. You really are a genius with papier-mâché. Everyone says it’s going to be the best senior float in homecoming history. Too bad the junior class didn’t snap you up.”

  Anzu shrugged. “It’s okay. I’ve had a blast. Loved doing all the jungle critters.” She lowered her voice. “So, did you ask him yet?”

  “No.” Cadie’s stomach jumped. She had confided in Anzu how she felt about Brooks, but every time she tried to talk to him, he was either surrounded by people or avoiding her. “I’m going to track him down today after cheerleading practice.”

  —

  The light was bright behind her eyelids and early-morning sounds were filtering in when Rafferty awoke and went to roll on her back, a sweet lethargy pulling at her. But she was stopped short by a wall of warm hard flesh the length of her body, a thick forearm around her middle holding her against that knee-melting hot skin.

  Then memory came hurtling back and she became wide awake. Her heart suddenly hammering with the memories.

  His thigh was between her legs and both of them were fully naked. Trace stirred beside her, his mouth against her neck as he released her enough so that she could turn to face him. He gave her a sleepy, sensual bad-boy grin, then grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her mouth to his.

  He kissed her with infinite gentleness and care. Brushing the hair back from her temple with his thumb, he released an uneven sigh as she kissed him back, his mouth warm and moist and gently, gently searching.

  He exhaled raggedly and she rubbed the back of his neck, loving the feel of him against her. Trace tightened his hold on her, his chest expanding as he took a deep, unsteady breath. Fingering the soft silk of his hair, she kissed his temple, a nearly unbearable tenderness filling her chest. “You are very warm and devastatingly irresistible in the morning. I’m not sure I want to let you get up.”

  “Ah, I’m already quite up, commander. Care to do anything about that?”

  “Oh my,” she said as he pulled the blanket off him. “I think that I might be getting into a lot of trouble with you, cowboy.”

  His mouth quirked as she moved her gaze over his aroused body. “Does that happen often?”

  “Every goddamned morning. It’s the way we’re wired.”

  “Hmmm, every morning?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he drawled.

  She giggled. “Makes me want to be front and center when you wake up.”

  “Ah”—he laughed as she ran her hand over him—“you’re killing me.”

  His breath whooshed out when she straddled his lap and all amusement fled. He whispered her name and she flattened herself against his muscled chest. His hands went to her hips. “Please, Raff,” he pleaded against her mouth.

  She moved her hips and he twisted his head, then caught the back of hers. He moaned when she held him and slipped over him, pumping her hips.

  Holding him fast, Rafferty gave a soft cry and opened her mouth against his, a fury of want, a frenzy of need ignited between them, and Rafferty made a helpless sound against his mouth.

  His breath fractured as she rose up and set her hands against all the bunching, flexing, glorious muscle of his wide chest. She tipped her head back and rolled her pelvis against the thick length of him inside her and Trace gasped, thrusting up against her, his hands on her hips.

  His breathing harsh and labored, he held her hips immobile, his thrusts rapid fire until she was mindless with the pleasure, and they both plummeted from the same heights.

  It was awhile before either of them moved. She just draped herself over his body. When she raised her head, he just stared at her.

  “I knew you were trouble the moment I laid eyes on you,” she said.

  “Woman, you pack a dynamite punch, leading to all kinds of shenanigans, so don’t go pointing fingers.”

  After more kissing and cuddling, Trace rolled them both out of bed and checked their clothes. He doused the fire and they got dressed. “We’d better get going.” He looked out the window and said, “Beautiful day.”

  He dragged the bed back and they folded up all the linens and put them back.

  “I’ll go check the boat. Come down to the shore when you’re ready.”

  She nodded, making sure everything was in its place, thankful that this cabin had been here to shelter them.

  She stepped out of the cabin.

  “So, Rafferty Hamilton, is my brother around?”

  She whirled at the sound of Reese’s voice, her heart in her throat. He was standing there assessing her with his gray-blue eyes. She probably looked like she’d been drowned in the lake and ravished repeatedly. She smoothed a hand over her hair, and the glint in his eyes intensified. Damn, but he was sexy and the sound of his smoky, lazy voice, the kind that made women swoon, made her smile. She couldn’t help but wonder why neither of these men had been snagged in the wake of this man’s attractive qualities and Trace’s blatant sexuality and unchecked virility. She liked Reese, though. Very much. His humor and laid-back attitude seemed effortless.

  It was clear how he felt about his younger brother.

  “He’s okay.”

  He cocked his hip and set his hand on it. “I was hoping for a direction. I want to kick his ass for scaring the shit out of me this morning. I suspected something had to have happened. So I headed in this direction hoping you two made it here all right. That was a bad storm last night, and Trace and I have used this cabin before. He knows the area very well.”

  Managing to keep a straight face, she said, “He’s down at the shore, righting the boat.” Then she couldn’t help it. “That would be in that direction where all the water is.”

  He nodded. As he came up to her, she turned and walked with him. There was a flash of perfect white teeth, but Reese continued to watch her with an unnerving degree of steadiness, his eyes narrowed, the glint becoming more and more thoughtful. Finally he spoke, his tone soft and wary, almost as if he were speculating aloud. “I like you, but I love my brother. So, Rafferty, Trace is…not the commitment type. But, he’s acting very different from norm. I don’t want him to lose perspective here. I think he might be doing that with you, and with you leaving and all. Well, someone could get hurt.”

  Determined not to squirm under his scrutiny, Rafferty looked to the
mountains. “I think we know the score and what’s going on.”

  “I reckon that things will play out as they’re meant to.” He continued to watch her, a wicked grin appearing. “Sometimes the best-laid plans…”

  As they topped the rise, she could see Trace had already drained the canoe and was getting it prepared to make the trip back to his truck.

  He looked up when they approached and smiled like a devil when he saw his brother. “You are a sight for sore eyes.”

  Reese and Trace embraced briefly. “I was worried when you didn’t call or show up.”

  “Harley?”

  “He’s fine. I have Chet’s wife watching him for now. Cadie is sharp, but I sent her off to school. You gave me a scare, little brother.”

  “Yeah, didn’t anticipate the storm and it wasn’t forecast. Came up so fast, it was crazy. Then we got washed out by a speedboater.”

  “Well, I can give you a lift to your truck. Should be faster.”

  Rafferty was relieved that she didn’t have to get into that tiny boat again, but this side trip had made her feel edgy about going to California, edgy about Trace, so damned edgy about what she wanted. She hadn’t taken a road trip to find herself, but that seemed to be what was happening. Had her broken-down car led her to an epiphany?

  —

  Cadie was there, waiting for him as the team exited the field. J. J. Carson, short for Jesse James, passed her and he smiled at her. He was the oldest son of the most prosperous rancher in the area. His dad, Hannibal Carson, ran a huge cattle and horse spread west of town. J.J. had a sister, Lacy, who was good friends with Cheyenne Gill and seventeen-year-old twin brothers, Ranger and Ryder. Most girls thought all the Carson boys were pretty cute, but J.J. was quite the babe. She couldn’t argue with that. He was gorgeous with his shaggy midnight-black hair and crystal blue eyes, but it was ginger hair she was looking for, green eyes she wanted to get lost in.