BOMAW 12-14

by Mercedes Keyes

  He really hated that man for that, for making her life even tougher to live, as if it wasn't hard enough; he with this world said... that she was...

  Cheap

  Easy

  Low class

  Loud

  Violent

  Materialistic

  ...because she was black.

  Getting to know her, what was in her head - getting to know her mother and the things she believed, taught, spoke and said; getting to know Mundo, and seeing what he'd suffered - added to his insight of the big picture. Being with them, was making him think - outside of his safe and secure box. He was learning things he didn't know if he could handle knowing and still be the same, Benjamin - that he'd always been. The funny thing of it all was - he was starting to feel - like his biological father.

  Angry

  Angry because the things he was learning, coming to understand - should not be. Yet - he was helpless to do anything about it. Because he was helpless in the midst of it all - he'd trapped himself emotionally inside the world of these new people... black people and he now - couldn't get out. He couldn't step out of it because he could not get what he knew, what he'd learned out of his head, out of his heart; because he'd made the tragic mistake of doing one thing ... falling in love with them all. Crystal, her mother and Mundo.

  Just like his father - Shawn.

  Once you knew, understood, how did you break away? How did you peal it off? Get it out of your system, your head?

  He got it.

  But he didn't like it - because he felt he was losing control of himself, of what he was. Since them, since Shawn, since Crystal, since Sylvia, since Mundo - since her two little - "could pass for white" sons - all he seemed to be doing is thinking. A different kind of thinking. His thinking before them, had surrounded school, learning, mastering, planning, wondering, dreaming. It had surrounded hopes of meeting, getting to know, and being accepted by his true father. His thinking had been a process of thoughts that connected to doing things like, getting with Gail, mischievously plotting to get her in bed and what trinket he'd have to sway her with to do so; that included the occasional other female that caught his eye. His thoughts were on resentment of people that slapped him with the tease of, literally, "Who's your daddy?" and being pissed at his mother for doing this injustice to him.

  That had been his world - his thoughts.

  Simple everyday things that now - he missed; because he could never go back to that type of thinking again - those days, in truth, had been the easier days - funny how he hadn't thought so back then.

  Taking on his new father, he hadn't bargained on all of this - all that came with it.

  Now, he was all tied up in this new awareness. He believed too, this was one of the reasons he could not let Crystal go - his broader understanding of all that her life entailed were like sharp barbs and hooks, the more he struggled, the deeper in they sunk. He wanted her like he'd never wanted anything in his life, even Shawn. He hadn't even wanted his own father, this bad - not like this. He needed to be with her, to try and make sense out of what he knew; he needed her in order to be constructive in making a positive difference - based on what he now knew. He needed to be apart of that team of people - like Shawn, like other white men and women - who knew and felt it, that all in life should be equal - for everyone; and since it was not, he could not be apart of those that felt they were superior, better, special. He could not stand with them knowing how ugly that whole clique, thinking, ideal and concept was - he wanted no part and thus, his stand would be with his family.

  With his grandmother; he was taking sides - he wanted to stand on the side of what he felt in his gut was right.

  Loving Crystal, was right - regardless of how many people might think it wrong.

  But - because of it all - she wouldn't let him - not love her the way he needed to - only from a distance, as a friend.

  He couldn't! He wanted HER - how could she not understand that what he felt was thick in his blood, filling his head, his senses - riding his being like a madness taking over him?!

  All of it - everything surrounding it - all the time left to think and see and analyze was making him crazy, angry and depressed.

  And so, in his struggle to settle, if he couldn't have Crystal with him, then - he needed Mundo.

  "I need you to go with me man, I don't wanna go alone." He was in Chicago, already feeling the effects of being away from family.

  "Dog - don't go, stay here man."

  "I can't Mundo, I need a break - I need to get away for a while."

  "I got court comin' up soon, you know that. Then, I got to get in school; I owe that to dad, man - I promised him - I got to follow through; otherwise, you know I'd be right with you. Ben, you know we tight; shit - ain't no blood between us, but it might as well be, I'd do anything for you bro', for real - it's like that. But I must - get my black ass in school; do some shit right for once. I promised that man - I gave my word - I can't break that Ben, I can't." He could hear Ben sighing on the other end.

  "What if you enrolled in school in California? There's excellent schools there - you might as well be my little brother, think I wouldn't take care of you?"

  "Ben man, listen up - you know damn well, you ain't got no business being there that damn long! What about your dad man? Thought you wanted to be with him? Spend some time with him? As for you taking care of me, man I ain't your responsibility."

  Ben was quiet, he couldn't answer right away.

  "Ben - look - I'm just gone go on and say it man; I love you - okay? You like, a brother I never had, a big brother, okay - we tight on that. But you know what, I never had a father Ben, not a real one - one that gave a shit about me. You had two. Both of them loved you in their own way - and now you got a third, the genuine article - maybe you can head off, take a breather from them - but Ben... I can't man. I wanna be here Ben, for the first time - I'm in the middle of a real family - and - I ain't in no hurry to leave it." Mundo heard him sniff, clear his throat and knew that he was crying. "You know what? You know what you need? You need to just move in here - right here dude - for real. Stop running from it man, stop running from it. Just face it straight on in the middle of your family. You can have a room to yourself, or hey - me and you - right here in the same. It's big enough - why not?" Mundo tried - still silence, "Ben?"

  He sniffed again, "I'm still here... listening."

  "Damn man, see - that's why, I can't be hookin' up with no honey man - they can fuck'ah brother's-shit-up!"

  "Tell me about it."

  "Hey, but - on a lighter note, dude - mama trippin' - man - we got a straight up sugah-britches here dude!" Mundo started laughing.

  "What?" Ben asked, smiling at the sound of his laughter.

  "Man, Vivian's friend, co-worker from Chicago staying here, he gay as fuck! I'm trying to stay in my room, so I don't be laughin' and shit. Your dad, ain't into gay, I can tell you that right now - and dude keep calling out his name,'Oh Sha-a-awn!' - check-this-out, check-this-out! Dude was standing gazing into dad's eyes and reached over and squeezed his upper arm to feel his muscles and started shivering; talkin'bout some, 'Ooohhh... it's so big and hard...'I think dude shot his britches! Man, and Jake was standing there, he quick as hell, cracking up, stepped between'em, 'cause I think Shawn was about to clock'im! He been drinkin' too! Ah man, I like to pee'd myself I started laughing so hard, wasn't no way for me to get control of that. He gone kill mama when she get back - she gone have to sleep in here tonight, I swear! And my granddad, Lucas, said, 'Look heah suggah britches - you bes' gone down the road wit' the women, since you wanna be one, leave us men in here.'" Mundo told him as he laughed, "I had to leave then."

  "Crazy, I can just imagine."

  "You should be here! All the men in the men's room. I can go in, but mama can't - she tryin' t'deal wit'me on some goodies so I tell her what's going on," He laughed, "...she too cute, I had to tell'er, 'ain't nothin' even happenin' - just forget it - it's a man thang, get used to
it."

  Ben chuckled.

  "Man bring yo'ass on home, stop this shit. You know damn well, you a homeboy, in the truest sense - you need to be with your family - in the middle of the McPherson's - now ain't the time to be heading out."

  "We'll see." Was all Ben would say.

  "You gone be here tomorrow, right?"

  "Oh yeah, definitely, you kidding me - my dad would never forgive me for that one."

  "Straight up man, this is the event of the century, Jake walking down the aisle? This must be documented."

  Ben laughed again - "Yep, besides, not only is Shawn taking pictures, but I'm on and off the video with him."

  "There you go, see you tomorrow."

  "Yep... tomorrow. It's gonna be a big day."

  "For sho-sho... later gator."

  Ben chuckled, "After while, crocodile."

  Saturday morning...

  He'd over done it! In a big way - Alec had no idea what all he'd said last night because he'd been so out of it, the triple threats had knocked him for six. He'd been talking to Milton Cooke, on and off, he vaguely remembered that, but not a clue of what he'd been saying. He'd ended up sleeping on Shawn's sofa in the men's room - where they all left him.

  After waking, finding a pillow under his head and a blanket over him, he sat up at first with no clue of where he was, after five minutes of sitting and staring into space, it all came back to him. Staggering to is feet, he'd sucked down several mouthfuls of water over the sink in the bathroom there and then washed his face and crept out blushing, due to encountering Shawn's wife, who was up and fixing breakfast. She glanced his way, smiling, asking, "You okay? Want something before you head off?"

  He'd cracked a lopsided smile, waved off the offer - trying to keep his mouth closed - his stomach was in no shape for anything as he made his way out and to his car parked at the studio, climbing in, he'd groaned and promised to never let anyone fix him any more, 'Oooh Weee's - the triple threat!' And if he did, he would never ever - have more than two at the most, he hadn't a clue of how many he'd drank - but each one seemed to go down easier than the last. "What in hell was I saying to her father?" The conversation just wouldn't click into place.

  Presently, he stood in the bathroom of his motel room.

  "All right, pull it together Alec - you still have today to get through and a reception." The thought made him groan once more, however it occurred to him, he'd get to see her again.

  Lacy...

  A widower of five years.

  With a son - Cory.

  With a father, that seemed pretty cool.

  With Vivian for a baby sister.

  And a mother ... that's where everything pleasant screeched to a halt.

  He walked away from the mirror, turned on the shower and stepped in - he had a wedding to attend.

  * * *

  "I'm he-e-ere... morning everybody, we ready for a wedding?" Crystal called out, her own gown laying over her arm, that she draped over a chair after stepping into Vivian's bedroom. Sheila and Shanna were already there, hovering around her.

  "Ready as can be! She had her breakfast and so far, so good." Shanna called out.

  Crystal agreed, Vivian was looking much better after spending the day before in bed.

  Also, the ginger was working, she'd nibbled on crackers first thing before moving that morning and had herself some ginger root candy - after that, she'd been nibbling every few minutes, non-stop to build herself up. She'd already showered, washed and conditioned her hair, and now sat with a towel wrapped around her head, waiting for Crystal to do her hair.

  "You see Jake, this morning, Crystal?"

  "Nope, came right here - I imagine he's stretched out at his brother's in one of those rooms! I talk to mama this morning and she said they was all drunk by the time she got back last night, only sober ones were my grandfather and Dean." She laughed, "They helped her put everyone to bed. Even your dad had to be escorted across the road."

  "What? You gotta be kidding me?"

  "I'm telling you the truth, Mundo and Angela up with Mama, helping her get everyone moving. They went looking for Shawn, he was laid out on the hot tub deck in one of the lounges." She went on to tell, "Mama said, thank goodness wasn't no water in that thing, fool could'ah drowned!"

  They all cracked up laughing.

  "And Mr. Dennis Johnson, where was he? He didn't bring his end back here last night!" Sheila asked.

  "Hmmm, no mention of Dennis, but I'm sure he ended up stretched out somewhere."

  Vivian started worrying, "Oh I hope he don't end up being so hung over he's sick, we getting married in four hours. Twelve o'clock, his butt better be at that church!"

  "Don't start worrying, he'll be there - I'm sure."

  "Dean wasn't drunk huh? That's good, he okay?" Vivian asked, worried about him; with so many men drinking, she couldn't be sure how they would have treated him.

  "He the one answered the phone when I called, talking about," Crystal started laughing again, 'Okay whose child is you, we got folks laying out everywhere - who ya'mama, who ya'daddy?' I cracked up laughing, told him, my mama Sylvia, my dad is Shawn! And he said, 'Em-em-em, you lucky child, oh what I give to sit on yo' daddy's lap! Hang on, I get ya'mama! I'm up helpin' her!' - he is a trip, and so funny!"

  Vivian relaxed, "Long as he's okay - I wasn't too sure how they'd treat him. He can be a pain in the butt sometimes, but he's harmless."

  Changing the subject, Sheila asked, "How you feeling - your friend arrive yet?" Referring to Crystal's period.

  "Nothing yet." She smiled with acceptance, "At least I'm not so sick as I was, just a bit queasy."

  "Well, that still don't mean anything, like I said - I was three weeks late, you just over a week - so I wouldn't worry about it."

  Crystal wasn't going to think about that, she had Vivian's hair and make-up to do - and to keep it done all the way to the church.

  "Okay Vivian, how you want it?"

  "I want my hair done in an old traditional style, here - there's your reference guide." She showed her a magazine page with the exact style she wanted, "And my make-up - minimal - simple."

  "You got it, let's get it going."

  "Yes, because the sooner we get her ready, the quicker we can get her to the church," Shanna spoke up, "And by the way - I have a surprise for you." She spoke up smiling.

  Vivian looked up, "Oh yeah, what kind of surprise?"

  "You'll see." Shanna assured her, laying out her gown, spreading it out flat with Sheila and Crystal looking on, this would be the first time that they'd seen it, because Vivian wouldn't take it out for fear of damage or staining.

  "Oh my goodness, girl look at that gown!" Sheila gasped, "Jake paid for that?"

  "He sure is - it's on my credit card right now, but as you know - I'm no longer working - soooo-..." Vivian tapered off, just then they heard a male voice call out,

  "I'm here to start taking pictures!" Ben called up the stairs, "Put on something white, silky and sweet; Shanna says the pictures start here!" He called making his way up the stairs, having used his keys to get in.

  Crystal's eyes got huge.

  Vivian's eyes shot to Shanna, "Huh?"

  "Yes, I think there's nothing more beautiful, than an album that starts with the bride getting ready for her big day, Ben was the one."

  Vivian took a deep breath, starting to feel emotional over it, as it hit her, she realized what a wonderful idea it was, "Okay, I've got something nice to wear."

  "Good." Shanna answered and walked to the door opening it to look out at him, "She's putting something on now, come in when she's ready, take a few shots around the room, and then go out again until we do her hair and make-up, then back in - more photos, like that. Is that going to be okay?"

  "No problem, I'm all hers today, just call me when she's ready." He turned his back against the wall and slid to the floor with camera in hand, to wait.

  In the room, Vivian put on her under-garments, her garters and white silky
stockings, followed by a silky white drape robe that fastened at the breast plate. It was stunning, tasteful and sexy. Sitting at her vanity, with the towel around her head, Shanna arranged things around her, flowers, boxes with the wax paper, the shoes that were made to go with her gown, had her pose and then called Ben in.

  The moment he walked into the door, his eyes went to Crystal. He didn't know she'd be there getting her ready, but then, of course she would be, she did hair, she was a cosmetologist - so naturally, she would be available for family. They both stared at one another, it would seem, unable to catch their breath or take their eyes from the other. Albeit forced, Crystal was the first to turn away, once more, her heart was going so she had to take several deep breaths to keep herself calm and steady.

  "Ben?" Shanna called his name to snap him out of the trance he'd slipped into from seeing Crystal.

  He cleared his throat, blushing from embarrassment at being caught off guard and staring, "Sorry - okay..." He looked towards Vivian and exhaled, smiling, "Wow - how incredibly exotic - this is good, real good." He moved in and began photographing her, one way and then another. Finished, he smiled and left the room for the next time they'd call him in. This time, he fell against the wall, and slid down it because his knees were weak - knowing that Crystal was right there, in the next room.

  For him, this day would be long, it would be hell.

  With her hair and make-up done, and her travel gown on, they carefully rolled her wedding gown into the special wardrobe carrier made for wedding gowns and made their way outside - with Ben stopping them along the way to take their pictures. Crossing the threshold outside, to Vivian's shock, out on the front porch she stopped, dumbfounded to find waiting for them, a double seated carriage of white, behind two draft horses, done up with flowers and ribbons to take her and her bridesmaids to the church.

  Sheila stood stunned beyond belief, so happy for her, she turned, hugging Vivian to her side, rubbing her arm, for once, speechless.

  Vivian's hands went before her face, "Oh my God! Oh my God!" Her eyes went to Sheila's, wide, as if asking was it a dream. Sheila shook her head, saying, "You deserve it - I'm so proud of you."