BOMAW 12-14

by Mercedes Keyes

  "I can't complain, they're not all perfect mind you, they just look that way." She made eye contact with Jake.

  "Don't start momma, I'm getting married tomorrow." Jake spoke up right away as if the shoe fit.

  "Thank goodness you waited, if you ask me - any sooner, I could've ended up with something else for a son-in-law - he just fine by me." Milton grinned.

  "Long as you happy! I know I am, oh that daughter of yours, lord have mercy - please forgive me if I offend, but I mean it well - Lord knows it when I say, I haven't ever seen one so beautiful in all my life - I call her my black Velvet, don't I, son?"

  Jake started laughing, "Yes you do." He groaned thinking, 'here she goes.'

  Milton sat just a bit more tall in his seat, saying, "Ma'am, if it's all the same to you, I'd never admit it anywhere else, she definitely one of my best, in truth, my oldest and my youngest. Oooh but Lord, don't ask me about the two in the middle...Got-dammit! 'Scuse me ma'am!" He apologized quickly, leaving everyone laughing - all nodding in agreement.

  "No need to apologize, you aren't the only one who has that one or two that makes you go, 'Lord, what'd I do to deserve this?'" She laughed along with them. Lydia was coming from inside the house then, after speaking with Sylvia before she left with the others. She was feeling tired and wanted nothing more than to take a nap, but heard Gert and wanted to speak to her before she did.

  "That you Ms Gertrude?!" She called out to her, going up the steps to meet her.

  "You know it is, how you doing?"

  "Tired, that drive, coming here - and then going to see this one, going there to see that one, nothing on my mind but a nap!" She admitted.

  "Well you get on in there and do that, I'm sure they have the air on."

  "Oh yeah they do."

  "Where is Vivian's mother? Dying to meet her."

  Lydia's eyes got wide, "Mmmm em, Ms Gert, I'on know about that. You might wanna leave her alone." Lydia knew her from the things she'd been saying, she couldn't believe she used to be that way - however not to that degree, no where near as bad as that.

  "Come on let me walk you in," Gert turned them towards the house, walking along, "Why you say that?"

  "Can I be blunt with you, Gert?"

  "I'd be with you, get's me in trouble, but there it is."

  "Okay, I will - straight and simple, she don't like white folks. The stuff she been saying, Lord have mercy, don't put yourself through it. She over there in that house - where she wanna be, I'd leave it alone if I were you."

  Gert sighed, "Well at least she could be with her daughter, a time like this, a daughter wants her mother with her."

  "I'm thinking, if everyone else wasn't there, she might be there with her, and I do stress, might - can't be sure. I can't knock her Gert, I have too much to look back on with myself."

  "Oh please, who of us don't? You here now, that's what's important, and this ain't even your daughter's wedding, but you know it's a family event because it's connected to my boys - and that says a lot to me about you. We a family now, and I'm thinking Vivian's mother needs to see that as well."

  Lydia sighed, thinking about it, "Maybe I should go over there with you?"

  "No, you should get to your room, lie down and have that rest you need. I'm a big girl - I'll be just fine."

  Gert went through the garage, through the back door there, onto the back deck and down the stairs into the vestibule where the door stood wide open, with it's screen closed and latched to prevent entry. Gert knocked speaking out to those within, "Helloooo, anyone home?" She asked, smiling, of course she could see the kids playing video games. One of them, a young man, looked to be the oldest, stood walking to the door. He had mocha brown skin, closer to being light than dark, black silky hair, cut short, and Vivian's light brown to gold eyes.

  "Hey." He stated, smiling, "Can I help you?"

  "You sure can, I'm Gert, Jake's mother - Vivian's soon to be mother-in-law, your grandma, Betty here?"

  Hearing why she was there, his eyes got wide, he looked as if he didn't know what to do. "Can you wait here a minute?" He asked very polite.

  "I sure can, no problem."

  He walked across the room to the bottom of the stairs and yelled up them, "GRAN'MAMAAA! GRAN'MAMAAA - there's a lady here to see you!" He waited, listening to see if she heard him and then, "Who? What lady?"

  "Jake's mother." He answered.

  Gert stood ready and willing to face whatever she had to, it was beyond her to understand why any mother would come so far to be at her daughter's wedding and not spend some time getting to know the family she was marrying into, just didn't make sense. The young man stayed put looking up the stairs, and by the sounds of it, nothing was happening. Gert imagined she might be at the top of the stairs thinking of how to get rid of her, - well she wasn't going that easily.

  "What you want me to do, gran'mama?" He asked, obviously tired of standing and waiting.

  A moment later Gert saw her step down into the basement and walking her way. To say she wasn't looking forward to meeting her was putting mildly - as it showed all over her face. She came to do the door, looking out at Gert, and finally opened it, standing in it to glare at Gert, "Can I help you?"

  "No indeed, don't need no help, just wanna meet Vivian's mother. I met her father across the way, why aren't you over there, or at least at your daughter's, so we can all get to know one another?"

  Betty stood staring at her, trying to bite her tongue, trying to keep from saying what was on her mind to say, but since this woman came there, intruding upon her peace, she didn't feel she should have to lie.

  "I'm only here for my daughter's wedding, not really interested in anything else."

  "Don't you wanna know who she's marrying and the kind of family she's marrying into?"

  "She made that choice in her life without any input from me, nothing from me at this point is gonna make a bit of difference."

  "That may be true, even so, surely you'd want to see that she's gonna be all right, or not?"

  "First of all, Vivian can take care of herself, second - my meeting you and yours over one day is not gonna tell me any truths I might need to know, after all - ya'll good at smiling in our faces and then callin' us nigga's behind closed doors." She wanted to shock Gert, send her off blushing so she could leave her alone; she didn't know Gert.

  "Nooo no, not in my house it don't happen. We don't use such references. Besides, I happen to know the word don't have one thing to do with the color of someone's skin - anybody can be a nigga - I know that." It was Betty who got a shock, hearing Gert say the word without hesitation or fear, "Now, I come to meet you, and I'm not leaving. Since it's so nice out here behind the garage, plenty of shade - let us please sit back here and get to know one another, or are you afraid of talking to me? Us white folk?"

  Betty harrumphed and did a "T'huh! You don't scare me."

  "That's good, because I'm not here to." Gert answered turning from her walking back up the stairs to the deck furniture under the umbrella, taking a seat, she waited for Betty.

  Betty exhaled, irritated that she hadn't just tucked her tail and left as she expected she would. Not about to back down, she closed the screen behind her, and made her way up and took a seat across the table, glaring at her, "Since you so eager to talk, no sense in me kissin' and pretending; I think my daughter could have done better - there are plenty of good black men out there, she could have met and married, that's what I would have preferred."

  "I don't doubt that for a moment, problem with that is, who she marries is not up to you, that's up to her. She's the one who has to spend her life with her choice - and yes, there are loads of good black men out there, maybe even one, better than my Jake - I won't fight you on that fact, but me - I like the best things in life, that's just the way I am, my daddy spoiled me you see. I've always been able to look at someone and read the quality of'em. Your Vivian, that young woman is pure gold - worth her weight in it and then some - I wanted her for my son the
moment I laid eyes on her, and I'm not afraid to say so."

  "Yeah, that may be what you say, but I'm not stupid - I'm not fooled. The last thing white folks want, is black taintin' their precious - so called blue-blood-line, thinkin' you all so superior - why should you be any different?"

  "Because I'm not stupid. I know damn well what too much of one thing can mean for a people - they start to get sickly, and ugly. Let me be the first for you to hear say so - I think it causes a deterioration of their inner being, bringing forth harmful extremes, breeds in faults, weaknesses, illnesses, limitations and frailties. I believe God made us all with built-in instincts to add new blood when new blood is needed, and if it weren't for the society we live in, people could feel more natural about doing it. I don't fight it, in fact, I invite it, that's why I'm different."

  "In other words, you chose my daughter to be a broodmare - to clean up your blood-line, to keep it healthy and strong with the good stuff, black blood?" Betty returned with disdain.

  Gert chuckled shaking her head, "I sure wish you'd stop trying to shock me, ain't gone work..." she thought about her words and unfazed by them Gert went with it, "If your saying it that way makes it easier for you, okay - sure."

  "Sure? You admit it? Uh huh, she like livestock, like back in the days of slavery - nigga's on the auction block, checked over to make sure they of the best stock."

  "And she is - by God, she is that!" Gert smiled.

  Betty gasped, "You must be done lost your mind!"

  "No no, not yet - I'm still firing straight so far - and as for the rest, if my memory serves me correctly, we were bred with other slaves to get a good stock for work, the house or to sell onward. Not - to breed with the master or his sons."

  "We? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

  "My ancestry - I do not deny it - have imparted as much of it as I can with my children and my grandchildren. It goes back a distance mind you - because we've been white for sometime now - in fact, long enough. I'm scared of losing the good stuff, so I wanna make sure we get it back in before flaws start to show up."

  Betty stared at her with her mouth partially open, "You crazy as hell - your head all jimmied up."

  Gert grinned, "You know that don't bother me - I been called worse than that - hell, they all said you was tough!"

  Betty threw her hand on her hip, head rolling, "Oh, so they all over there talking about me now?!"

  "No Ms Cooke they not - they just thought to warn me about your feelings on certain matters, it's not like you haven't done your darnedest to make everyone you see as white, feel as uncomfortable around you as possible. Me personally, I don't see no reason for it. Like it or not, we family now-..."

  "Hell with that - you ain't no goddamn family of mine! I didn't ask you, or the likes of you, black-in-the-back, or not - to bring me in on it - I'm not interested. You all a cold, hard breed! You got no heart - you got no soul! What you capable of is enough to make me sure, I won't nothing to do with you."

  "My God, Betty Cooke, this is a new day."

  "For you maybe, it's always a new, bright sunny day, for you. But for us, same shit - different day, but ain't a damn thing new about it!"

  "Betty, not all white people are cold, with no soul, no heart - cruel. Just like, not all black people can dance and sing."

  "You know what, you could have spent your time on better things than this..." Betty alerted her.

  "I'm sorry, I disagree - Vivian said you had a white grandmother - that true?" Gert asked.

  "Vivian need to shut her damn mouth, telling all my damn business!" Betty snapped with tight lips.

  Gert stared at her a moment thinking, "You hate her too Betty?"

  "Yes - I - did! She hated me! Hated my damn father! Selfish bitch!" Betty started breathing hard, growing angry so tears filled her eyes, "I'm gone tell you something about your white people! About Doreen Imogen Ferguson - she - let the gardener in - had an affair with him - yes a black man - while her white husband was off to war - got knocked up by him, had the child - my father - and gave him up for adoption and fired the gardener. Pretended like he never existed. My father, grew up hungry to know his real mother, and it took him years to find her, years! I, as a little girl, ran my ass to libraries, to all kinds of public places to help him find her, because he had to know her. By the time we found her, she was in a bad way - broke, about to lose her home - her own children, the white ones - could not be bothered to help her - and my father - her black child - bent over forwards and backwards for her! She ended up with a choice, of being out on the street, or living with us. Guess who got to be the lucky ones? That bitch - my white grandmother, made his life a living hell - she broke his heart - didn't appreciate a damn thing he did for her. She had the nerve to sit her flaky white ass up in her home, under our roof and still had the nerve to refer to him, to us, as niggas. You know what, I - too - tried to get her to even like me! All she could do was criticize us - until the day she died - in our home, with us taking good care of her. That good man, my black father, that good man, my black grandfather - taught me a lot. Yeah, we also found him, thanks to what she would give us, in bits and pieces. He told us the whole story." Betty glared at Gert, swiping at angry tears that rolled.

  "Don't you tell me nothing, about white people! You got no heart! You got no soul! You don't feel anything, for anyone, who don't look like you! You don't care who you crush - who you hurt, who you kill in your path to what you want! As far as I'm concerned, you all the same! And I bet you up to something too, uh huh, that's what I feel on the matter."

  Gert sighed, she wasn't getting anywhere, "You know what Betty, that's a heavy load you carrying around, why didn't you leave it with your grandmother where you picked it up? It should have been buried with her. I were you, I'd take it back - you don't need it - keeping it, you lettin' her win - and you losing in the end."

  Betty's finger jabbed the surface of the table to punctuate her feelings, "I - ain't - losing shit! I don't - want this! My thinkin', my load - is just fine - thank you!"

  "Your daughter is pregnant with my son's child. You still gone be saying that, when he or she, is born? You gonna turn that child away the way your grandmother did you? Because if you can, you more like her, than you know - I'd think that would be the last thing you'd want, to be like her. Now your father - he sounds like he was one hell of a man - shame you haven't taken any of him with you."

  Betty only stared at her.

  "Okay, I'm gonna go, leave you with your misery - lord knows how it loves company - but it ain't the kind of company I keep." Gert stood, putting the chair back under the table. "I know you don't like it, but we family now - we family. And God knows, there is nothing stronger, and more beautiful than a family growing and uniting - being as one - no matter what shades they come in. That too, is what I believe - crazy me." Gert walked away to the garage door, "You need anything, you just ask - if we have it to give, it's yours." Gert waited a brief breath more, hoping Better would at least meet her half way. Instead she stood from the table, saying nothing more to her, and walked back into the house, closing the screen, latching it and then the door as well.

  * * *

  Later that evening...

  The men had moved into the house, into Shawn's men's room after covering what food was left and bringing it indoors. Mundo had relocated to his room, chilling and on the phone with Ben. He didn't know what to say, how to help him. They had grown as close as Ben had been to his brothers. In fact, since his and Kevin's fight, Mundo had become his closest confidant besides Paul. Mundo - now knew all that was taking place in Ben's life. Every since the incident with the police, Ben had drawn closer to him; effected by the experience - by the eye opener. Up until that incident, he'd never really brought home within him - the difference between being black in America and being white in America; especially being a black male, versus a white male. To have seen first hand what he'd heard but never really gave much thought to - and if so - fleetingly - changed him even
more so. There were things he was starting to understand and notice and simply put, it all disturbed him. It wrecked his need to always be upbeat, positive, forward moving; re-ordering his structural vision of being a man in charge of his own destiny. He always thought, each and every man had control over his own destiny and the things affecting his life. But now, since falling into his true father's new family - he realized he was living in a different world from the one he'd always assumed, was one way. Now, he knew there was, no - one way. His grandmother had been telling him this, had been telling them all this; it startled him to realize that he hadn't comprehended it; that her words hadn't sunk in - that this world, was another world, a different place for black people and another way, for white. He could see now, why his biological father was often tense, angry, guarded and ready in the fight mode. Ben could see, that while anyone in America could grow to be a success, to be black and successful, required quite a bit more. There was no such thing as focusing on your goals with side blinders on, if you were black; doing that - could get you blind-sided! To be black meant that while reaching for your goals, be careful of every step you took in the process of it; keep looking to the left, keep looking to the right; watch how you speak, how you drove, what you drove, how much attention you received, who you're with, where you go and why are you there?

  Sometimes it was too much.

  Ben had never had to think on such a level before and in truth, it was bringing him down. He didn't need anything else to bring him down.

  Crystal alone was killing him.

  Crystal was black.

  She was black in his white world.

  And he could see her better than he'd ever seen a woman before, and that too, was crushing him, because he couldn't think of how to overcome it; what he knew about her, being what she was, where she was - to him; to everyone.

  She was one struggling against what the world said she should be.

  Compounded by what her father said she would be.