The Suck Stops Here

by Kristen Painter

  “Penina will take good care of him,” Temo said.

  “Or maybe we could take him with us,” Christina suggested.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Cammie said.

  Donna shook her head. “I don’t either. All those people and a cat? Who will need a litter box? That’s not a complication we need. Besides, I don’t want to worry about him accidentally slipping out every time the door opens. He’s safer here, honey.”

  Christina nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. I didn’t think about the possibility that he might get out. It’s just nice having him around.”

  Charlie leaned forward to see Christina better. “Will Ferris, the man who’s going to be driving the RV, loves cats. He actually helps rescue and foster them. He’s got quite a few of his own. And one of his daughters, Harper, is coming with us too.”

  “Yeah?” Christina said. “Is she, like, my age?”

  “No. She’s a bit older. Maybe mid- to late forties?” Charlie glanced at Donna. “Wouldn’t you say?”

  “Maybe.” Donna shrugged as she turned to dump the eggs into a well-buttered pan. “Hard to tell with witches. Although her one sister is actually half necromancer.”

  “Whoa,” Christina said. “Did you say necromancer? That’s something to do with dead stuff, right?”

  Pierce answered, thankfully, because Donna wasn’t sure how to respond. “Will Ferris is a reaper. As in grim reaper. Then your mother saved his life by turning him into a vampire. He was injured in a recent skirmish, you see.”

  Donna stirred the eggs. Skirmish. Pierce was so diplomatic.

  He went on. “So all of his daughters have some reaper blood in them. With his daughter Daisy, the reaper influence is stronger. And because her mother was a witch, she ended up with some necromancer abilities. Which, yes, does involve dead stuff. I don’t know the full extent of her gifts, but she leans more toward the witch side of things, as best I can tell.”

  “Crazy,” Christina replied with a tone that said she meant that in a good way. “It’s wild how much of this stuff is real. Also, Mom, you turned someone? Like, you made a baby vampire?”

  Donna glanced over her shoulder. “You could say that, yes.”

  Christina had her hand on her belly and a strange look on her face.

  “Are you all right?” Donna asked.

  She nodded. “It just kind of hit me.”

  “What did?”

  Christina looked around at the small group in the kitchen. “I’m going to be the only totally real human on the trip.” She took a deep breath as she shifted her gaze to her aunt. “You don’t even really qualify anymore, do you, Aunt Cammie?”

  “No,” Cammie said. “I don’t. I haven’t been strictly human for many years.”

  “That’s what I thought,” Christina said. “That just leaves me.”

  Donna lowered the heat under the eggs and turned to reassure her daughter that wasn’t the case, but Pierce beat her to it.

  He shook his head. “I’m human.”

  Christina glanced at him, brows bent in question. “You are?”

  “I have the added benefit of being under your mother’s protection, which gives me some additional strength and abilities, but I am absolutely human.”

  Thankfully, he didn’t go into the full explanation of how they exchanged blood. Something Donna was pretty sure would trigger Christina’s ick factor.

  “Oh.” Christina nodded but didn’t look fully convinced. “That’s nice to hear.”

  “Don’t worry,” Temo said. “You’ll be as protected as your mom. I promise. We won’t let anything happen to you or your baby.”

  “Thanks.” She sipped her juice.

  Donna had been afraid Christina might freak out at being surrounded by supernaturals. She knew it wasn’t the people. Donna’s staff had been very welcoming. What could set Christina off was the sense of the unknown. And there was fear in the unknown.

  Add to that the pregnancy hormones coursing through her, and Christina could easily have a meltdown.

  Donna felt for her child. “Sweetheart, I know this probably seems overwhelming, but you have nothing to fear from anyone in this group. I promise you that. Are there scary things out in the world? Yes. But they have always been there. Even when you didn’t know about them. But the same can be said for threats of the human variety as well.”

  Christina gave a short nod. “Yeah, I know. It’s just…” She shrugged.

  Pierce slipped behind Donna to take over the eggs.

  She went to her daughter and took hold of her hands. “It’s just that it’s scary and overwhelming being introduced to so many new things all at once, isn’t it? It’s a shock to find out that there’s a whole other world you never knew about. One filled with some admittedly terrifying creatures.”

  Christina sniffed, head down, hair hanging past her face. “I just don’t want to make anyone feel bad.”

  Charlie shook her head. “You won’t make any of us feel bad. We can absolutely empathize with you. I promise.”

  Christina looked up again. “Thanks. I’m sure I’ll get used to it. And honestly, most of the time, it’s all pretty wonderful. But every once in a while, I feel like it’s more than I can take. I feel like…like I’m going to do or say something wrong that somehow upsets someone, something I don’t even realize is wrong. All because this world is so new, and I don’t really understand it.”

  Donna put her arm around Christina. “Sweetheart, no one here is going to get upset with you for anything.”

  “I’m sure you’re right, Mom. Everyone’s been nothing but nice to me. I still feel like a stranger in a strange land, though. And now, with a child of my own to think about, it’s made me realize just how vulnerable I am. How vulnerable humans are.”

  “Excuse me for a moment,” Charlie said softly. She left quickly.

  Donna didn’t know what her admin needed to do, but at the moment, no one else mattered but Christina. “After a while, this won’t seem so strange. You’ll see. And you couldn’t be safer with all of us around you.”

  Temo nodded. “You bet. I will protect you with my life, just like I would your mom.”

  Christina smiled a little. Donna knew she liked Temo. Who didn’t? He was just that kind of guy. “Thanks, Temo.”

  Charlie returned with a small navy suede pouch in her hand. “Here. For you.”

  Christina took the pouch and opened it. On a slim black satin cord dangled a hollow silver tube about twice the width of a toothpick and just as long. Delicate filigree decorated the outside. Christina looked up at Charlie. “It’s very pretty, but what is it?”

  “Banshee whistle. If you ever need me, you have only to blow that whistle. You won’t hear it. No one will unless they’re a banshee. Two short blasts if it’s a dire situation. And in that case, I won’t come alone if at all possible. It’s got about a mile radius.”

  “Wow, thank you.” Christina fastened the cord around her neck.

  Donna nodded. “Yes, thank you, Charlie. I didn’t even know such a thing existed.”

  Charlie smiled a little and shrugged. “They do, and they’re very powerful.” She leaned toward Christina. “So don’t test it unless you really need me. To my ears, it’s like nails on a chalkboard.”

  Christina laughed. “I won’t. I promise.”

  Temo rubbed his hands together. “I’d better get started on those pancakes.”

  “You’d better,” Pierce said. “The rest of this food is going to be done soon.”

  “I’m on it,” Temo said as he headed to the cabinet for the ingredients.

  Charlie went to the fridge. “I’ll get the blueberries.”

  Donna hugged Christina again. “Don’t be afraid, honey. Just think of this as a once-in-a-lifetime adventure.”

  She nodded and leaned into Donna a little. “With my mom, the vampire.”

  They ate, lingering probably too long at the table, but the company was good, and the stories, mostly being told by T
emo and Charlie, were highly entertaining.

  Plus, Christina’s mood had shifted back to her usual happy, bubbly self, and Donna was loath to do anything to ruin that.

  But the clock was not their friend as it ticked closer to them needing to leave.

  Then Penina showed up, and Donna knew they had to shift gears back toward the trip and preparing for departure.

  Temo and Pierce cleaned up while Christina went to take a shower, Charlie ran through a complete briefing with Penina so that she’d know everything necessary for managing the governor’s apartments while they were gone (even though she’d also created a binder to cover all of it), and Donna ran upstairs to the roof, crucifix on, to see Jerabeth.

  She found the green witch exactly where she’d expected to find her—in the greenhouse. The sun was sinking in the sky, and it would soon be dark. Not long after that, everyone would be arriving for the trip.

  She opened the greenhouse door.

  Jerabeth was sitting on an old metal stool in front of her worktable, a bag of potting soil at her feet and an array of small seedling trays in front of her. Soft classical music played in the warm, earthy space that smelled of all things green and growing.

  Donna knocked on one of the door’s glass panels. “Jerabeth?”

  The witch looked over. “Hi, Governor.” She hopped off the stool. “Do you need me?”

  Donna shook her head. “I just wanted to come see you before the trip. Are you sure you’re all right staying here?”

  “Oh, totally. Funerals and dressing up and formal stuff are not my thing.” She wiggled her soil-stained fingers. “This is where I’m happiest.”

  “I completely understand.” Donna walked over. “What are you working on?”

  “A new hybrid of my own making. It’s a type of laurel that I’ve been growing to have a high output of oily seeds. I’m developing a formula that uses the oil as part of an invisibility potion.”

  “Wow, that’s pretty cool.”

  Jerabeth smiled. “Thanks, but it’s a slow process. I’ve been working on it for years. I’ve gotten close, but the best I can do so far is this.” She opened a cabinet at the back of the worktable and took out a little box. Within the box were several glass vials. She took one out and held it up, the pale pink liquid gleaming in the sunlight. “It doesn’t result in true invisibility yet. Basically just makes you harder to see. And it only lasts about fifteen minutes. But I’ll get there.”

  “That’s still quite an accomplishment.” Donna tilted her head as she looked at the vial. “Could I have one of those?”

  Jerabeth frowned. “You want one even though it doesn’t work as advertised?”

  Donna nodded. “You never know when even a small advantage like this could be useful. I have no idea what trouble we’re going to run into on this trip.”

  “Hopefully, none,” Jerabeth said as she handed the vial over.

  “Thank you. And I agree—hopefully, none—but that’s not how my life goes. And if Fitzhugh attends this funeral, which I believe he will, you just never know.”

  Jerabeth’s frown deepened. She pulled out another vial. “Here, take two.”

  Donna laughed. “Thanks. You know, you’re welcome to stay in the apartments while we’re gone. If you want. Penina will be in the penthouse, but there’s a guest room in the staff apartment.”

  Jerabeth nodded. “I appreciate that. Do you want me to stay?”

  Donna sighed. “I don’t want to disrupt your life, but I don’t love the idea of leaving one person with the responsibility of looking after all three floors. Even though the third floor is still unoccupied.”

  “What about Kace? You could have him swing by once an evening. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” Jerabeth grinned. “Neither would Penina, probably.”

  Donna chuckled. “I don’t suppose she would.” The handsome gargoyle shifter had been a great help during the fae raid and had expressed a desire to be of service again, should the need arise. He’d also made it clear that he’d be agreeable to pursuing a romantic relationship as soon as Donna was interested.

  And while he was incredibly good-looking and very well built, she was truly happy being single. Well, she would be as soon as her divorce was final.

  Besides that, she had Pierce. He was great company and walked the line between friend and companion very well. Not only because he provided her with blood, but because they were much closer in age and seemed to be in sync on just about everything in life.

  Kace was like a Ferrari. Fast and flashy.

  Pierce was more of a Rolls-Royce. Quiet and classy while still very impressive.

  And there was a reason she’d sold all of Joe’s sports cars. Not just because they’d belonged to him, but they weren’t something that interested her.

  “I’m going to call Kace,” Donna said. “Thanks for the idea. But the offer still stands. If you want to stay over, you’re welcome to. And if you need anything while we’re away, don’t hesitate to call or text.”

  “Thanks, Governor. Have a good trip.”

  “Thank you, Jerabeth.” Donna headed for the door, vials in hand. “See you when we get back.”

  On her way downstairs, she started to text Kace. Then she realized the conversation she needed to have with him was too long for texting. For her, anyway.

  She dialed as she walked through the kitchen.

  He answered. “Evening, Governor. How are you?”

  “Hello, Kace. I’m fine. How are you?”

  “I’m well, thank you. I’m surprised to hear from you. Aren’t you about to leave for the queen’s funeral?”

  “I am. And that’s why I’m calling.” She sat on the couch in the living room and put her feet up on the coffee table.

  “That’s too bad. I thought you were calling about that dinner we haven’t gone out for yet.”

  She smiled. He wasn’t a quitter, she’d give him that much. “No, sorry. Very different reason.”

  “And that is?”

  “Would you be willing to make yourself available should Penina need you? She’s penthouse-sitting and taking care of Lucky for me. I’d just like her to have someone in the building she can call if the need arises.”

  “I’d be happy to do it.” His voice had a curious quality to it. Like he was holding back his excitement about something. “Except I’m not going to be here.”

  “Oh.”

  “It’s just that I already agreed to—”

  “Governor?” Charlie’s voice interrupted their call.

  “Sorry, Kace. I’d better go. Talk to you later.”

  “Or sooner,” he said. “Bye.”

  She hung up, not quite getting what he’d meant.

  “In here, Charlie.” Donna got off the couch. “You need me?”

  “Just wanted to let you know that Lionel’s bus just pulled up outside, and Will and Harper were right behind. That means we’re all here except for Neo. If we can finish packing, we might be able to leave early. Which might not be a bad thing.”

  “No, not at all. Let me go check on Cammie and Christina. Where’s Pierce and Temo? And any idea when Neo will get here?”

  “Temo and Pierce are downstairs, but they’ll be up shortly. Temo said Neo texted and is less than twenty minutes away. Penina is settling into the guest room if you need her.”

  “Okay, we need to get moving, then. I still have my small bag and my purse to grab.”

  “What about your official laptop?”

  Donna hadn’t even thought about it. “I guess I should take it.”

  Charlie nodded. “I think you should. Just in case you need to respond to anything in an official capacity. I’m happy to pack it up for you.”

  “Thank you, that would be great.”

  “I’ve also put the queen’s sword in that space under the bed on the RV.” She smiled. “If you need anything else, just let me know.”

  “I will. I’ll get Cammie and Christina moving.” Donna went toward the first guest room. “Christi
na, honey, are you ready?”

  “Almost. Why? We aren’t leaving for another hour.”

  Donna pushed the door open. Christina had the hair dryer in her hand, but at least she was dressed. “We’re going to try to leave a little early. Can you be ready in twenty minutes?”

  “I don’t know. My hair might still be wet.”

  “You can dry it in my bathroom on the RV.”

  She smiled. “Okay. In that case, no problem.”

  “Great. Pack whatever’s left, get your purse, your electronics, your chargers, and kiss Lucky goodbye, then head downstairs, okay?”

  She nodded. “Got it, Mom. Also, chill a little, will you? You seem like you’re on the verge of a freak-out.”

  Donna hadn’t been aware she was coming off that way. She took a breath. “I’m fine. Just…”

  “Nervous?”

  “Yes. I guess it shows. It’s a big undertaking, you know?”

  “I know.” Christina put the hair dryer down and gave her mom a hug. “It’s all going to be just fine. You’ll see.”

  Donna hugged her daughter back. “Of course it will.”

  But her previous track record said otherwise. Problems seemed to arise like…magic. Maybe this time would be different.

  Seven minutes later, Donna walked out of the Wellman Towers lobby with her daughter, her sister, her admin, and all of their remaining luggage.

  Temo and Pierce took their luggage and hauled it into the RV, leaving them to stand there and gawk at the two giant vehicles.

  The RVs were parked side by side in the vehicle courtyard and looked surprisingly similar, although Donna had a feeling Lionel’s would be pretty different inside. He was a rock star, after all. She couldn’t imagine he’d want the fancy beach-house look of the rented RV. She pictured more leather, velvet, and studs.

  As they stood there, having a look at his bus, the doors opened.

  Kace Donovan walked down the steps.

  Not at all who she’d expected to see.

  He nodded at her, a big smile on his face. “Hello again, Governor.”