Facing Evil

by C L Hart

  “So now what? Where do we go from here?” She looked down at the floor. “Sarah?”

  “I don’t know, Abby.” She moved to the window and watched in silence as the wind pelted the rain against the glass.

  Abby knew there was more than one storm going on as she watched Sarah struggle for words.

  “I’ve found out who I am and what I’m made of — I’m a fighter, a survivor. I’m no longer that naïve girl who arrived here looking for a story.” She glanced down at her damaged thumb. “I don’t even know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

  Looking at her, Abby had to agree she was a different woman. But that didn’t change how she felt. She was in love with the woman on the inside, the one she had deceived.

  “I need to sort things out in my mind, Abby...” Sarah’s words disappeared with the wind howling against the walls of the log cabin.

  “I love you, Sarah. I know that now more than ever.”

  “The hard part is — I love you, too, Abby.” Her tears streamed unchecked down her face. “But sometimes love isn’t enough. I have to trust you, Abby, and I don’t know if I can do that. What else have you kept from me?”

  “Look at me, Sarah, and believe this: from the first day that I met you, you changed the woman I was. I am not that hard-hearted cop I thought I was. I do care, I do love, and I can trust! I admit that I told you lies, well, more like half truths, but so did you for your own reasons.”

  “That’s not fair, Abby,” though she knew herself it was a fact.

  “All’s fair in love and war, Sarah, isn’t that what they say? I love you and what happened to you is not fair, but I have held your nearly lifeless body in my arms not once… three times, and I know with all the honesty I can muster that I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to live without you. The lies we told each other have nothing to do with how we feel. I don’t care if you are a reporter, that doesn’t matter.” Abby reached to wipe away the tears on Sarah’s face. “I can’t change what has happened to you, but that doesn’t alter how I feel. I fell in love with the woman inside. Please, give us a chance.”

  As Abby pled for their relationship, Sarah looked away. “I can’t stay here,” she finally choked out. “I’ll be leaving with Lincoln in the morning.”

  As the reality of what Sarah was saying hit her in the chest hard, Abby didn’t know what to say.

  “It’s too much for me right now. Everything we thought we had has been built on lies. I lied to you and you lied to me. What kind of a relationship does that give us?”

  “We can start again, Sarah.” Her head was swimming and her heart was breaking as she felt the remains of her world crumble around her. “We can build on what we have.”

  “What do we have?” Sarah tried to stay strong and determined, though her voice betrayed her. “Maybe with time...maybe with time we can find what we lost, but what’s left after the dust of all those lies settles?”

  “Love.”

  Sarah closed the distance between them and looked into Abby’s eyes. She placed a hand on Abby’s wet cheek. “I love you; I want you to know that. But I need time.”

  The tears overflowed as Abby struggled with her emotions. “I don’t understand, but if that is what you want, I’ll abide by your wishes.” Abby straightened and cleared her throat. “I told you once before — take all the time in the world.” She swallowed the lump threatening to take her voice. “And when you’re ready, I’ll be waiting for you.” Abby leaned down, kissed the top of Sarah’s head, and then turned to leave the cabin. “When I first saw you that day on the dock,” Abby collected herself as best she could, “I knew you were trouble for me.”

  “And why is that?” Sarah asked softly through her tears.

  Abby looked into her emerald green eyes. “Because you were just the right size to slip through the walls I'd spent a lifetime building up.” She swallowed hard and then sighed deeply. “You need to get out of those wet clothes.”

  As Sarah glanced down at her damp attire, the door of the cabin closed softly.

  ♥

  The storm blew over by late morning, and the skies were clear and blue as Nathan’s helicopter left the resort. High on a mountain, in a field of tall grass, a lone woman sat astride her black stallion. With an aching heart and a pounding head Abby watched through shimmering tears as Sarah flew out of her life.

  Chapter 35

  Time had moved on, and some scars had healed, but the memories they had all lived through remained just below the surface of their existence. Lincoln had stayed on with Nathan, though it wasn’t the same without Abby across the desk from him. Leaning back in his chair, he took in the view outside the window of his office and he recalled the first visit with his ex-partner after that night on the dock.

  Lincoln had his head buried in his computer and didn’t look up when there was a knock on the study door. “Carla, did I hear someone at the door?”

  Abby took several steps into the room before she answered, “Just an old friend.” Her mouth was dry and her palms were sweating as she waited for his response. Lincoln sat up, but didn’t turn to face her. “Please don’t ask me to leave.” When he didn’t, she continued. “I don’t have much left in my life, at least not much that used to be there and uh...” Abby cleared her throat as Lincoln turned to face her. She found it hard to look him in the eye, but she held on to what brought her there. “I am trying to take some steps to repair what I... There’s no excuse for what I did. I know that. I abused our friendship and I took advantage of it.” She rubbed her palms on her jeans as she looked around the room. “Man, this is harder than I thought.” Lincoln remained silent, which made it even harder.

  “I should have trusted you. You are more family to me than Nathan is, and I uh...” Abby lost her words for a moment. “I should have told you the truth. I don’t know when, but that doesn’t matter, at some point I should have...have told you. I was wrong and I hurt those that I love the most.” Her voice started to waver and she looked out the window to hide her tears. “I am sorry, Lincoln. Please forgive me. I need you back in my life. I can’t do this alone.”

  He stood up and came around his desk. “There was a lot of water under that bridge you burned. How do I know that I can trust you?”

  “Because I know how much I hurt you, Lincoln. I know I handled this really badly, but there just wasn’t a good time to tell you. I know that sounds like a cop-out, and it isn’t an excuse. I was wrong, that’s the bottom line. You have to give me a chance to earn back your trust — you have to, please.” He stood silent for what seemed like forever, and Abby waited, unsure of what to do next.

  He had missed her, more than she knew. Many times Carla had tried to get him to call her, but he couldn’t find the words. Now here she stood before him, and he realized that it was time to put the past where it belonged. Lincoln held open his arms. “I’ve missed you, Abby.”

  The two friends embraced. Not much else was said for a long time as she held on to him. They parted and he looked her in the eyes, and for the first time he saw they were clear and bright. “So now what? I gather from your uncle that you’re not going back to the force either.”

  “No, at least not at this moment. I’ve talked to Banks, and my job is there if I want it, but I don’t want it right now.”

  “I hear you’re building a new place out at Gold Creek.”

  “Yeah, at one end of the lake. There was a clearing, and...uh.”

  He knew all too well about the clearing, and just what she was building there. Watching her for a moment, he dared to go where Nathan had warned him not to. “And Sarah?”

  That topic was too painful and she shook her head.

  “Abby?”

  “I’m not at that step yet.”

  For the moment, Lincoln let it go.

  ♥

  There was a knock on Lincoln’s office door and it brought him back to the present as Nathan poked his head in. “Working hard or hardly working?”

  “
Depends on whether the boss is looking,” he quipped back.

  “How’s your caseload?” Nathan asked as he leaned in with his hand on the door handle. “I’m heading out to Gold Creek. I’d like you to join me.”

  Lincoln looked down at the clutter on his desk. “Is there a problem?”

  “No one knows her better than you, and I was hoping you could tell me,” Nathan said with concern.

  “Aw, what the hell?” He reached for his suit jacket on the back of his chair. “I needed a break anyhow.”

  ♥

  They didn’t talk much on the flight out to the resort, mainly because it was difficult to converse over the noise of the helicopter. Lincoln was looking forward to seeing Abby again. Their visits were few and far between, but not by his choice. Abby wasn’t the same person any more and he didn’t know if it was because of the trial, the truth, or the pain of a lost love.

  Sarah was gone and she had yet to resurface in Abby’s life, though she had been in contact with him. She had found a job working for a small newspaper in Boulder, Colorado. No one knew who she was and she liked it that way. They had talked about many things in the past few months, however they never talked about Billy and they never talked about Abby. He wanted to, but she wouldn’t have it. Time had healed his hurt, and he knew now that Billy’s kinship to Abby wouldn’t have made any difference to the case or to the number of victims he had left behind. But he wasn’t Sarah, and he didn’t have the scars she did.

  Lincoln felt a nudge and he looked over at Nathan. The lawyer pointed out the window. “Can you see it?” he hollered over the roar of the rotors.

  Lincoln leaned over and peered out the window. Even from this height he could see the new log home rising out of the lush green forest. In the shade of the trees, next to a small wooden bench, Abby occupied her every waking hour building a home in hopes Sarah would return. At first the people in Abby’s life thought the labor of love was a good idea as it gave her something to do besides dwell on old memories. But time moved on and Sarah hadn’t returned, and they wondered if she ever would.

  “Quite a place,” Nathan said.

  “Would you expect anything less?”

  “No. ... But what happens when it’s finished? That’s what I’m concerned about. I’ve tried to talk to her, but she’s so pig-headed,” Nathan said loudly. “We’ve talked about things we’ve never talked about before — her parents, Billy. Two things are still taboo — her plans for the future...”

  “And Sarah,” Lincoln finished for him.

  “You’re the closest to both of them, Lincoln. You’ve got to get through to one of them.”

  He looked at his boss. “And which one would you suggest — the stubborn, pig-headed brunette, or the obstinate, inflexible redhead?

  ♥

  Lincoln made his way up the heavily trampled trail. He could hear the pounding of a hammer echoing over the lake and off the surrounding mountains. Cresting the last rise, he stopped to take in Abby’s creation — a beautiful log home with a high pitched roof and large windows with a spectacular view of the Gold Creek area.

  Abby was pounding a nail into a cedar shingle on the roof as he approached. Gone was the gaunt prison pallor. It was replaced by a slim, muscular body and bronze skin, now glistening with sweat.

  “One gear, one speed — forward and fast,” he said under his breath as he started walking toward her. “Hello, the homestead,” he hollered.

  A bright smile filled Abby’s tanned face. “Lincoln!” She scampered down the ladder.

  Stepping back from their embrace, he tried to look into her eyes, but she avoided his gaze. “Well, what do you think?” She gestured at the log home.

  “You’ve outdone yourself. I thought you did great work on your farmhouse, but this...this is something.” Lincoln studied her. “You’re looking well.”

  “The outdoors agrees with me,” she said seriously.

  “And obviously sobriety does too.”

  “Yeah.”

  “So, what are your plans for when it’s done?” Lincoln watched her profile as she looked over her home. She shrugged her shoulders and kept her eyes on the log structure. “Abby?” Her shoulders sagged slightly, but she said nothing. “Abby, what about Sarah?”

  Ignoring his question, she walked over to a cooler and reached into the ice for something to drink. He watched her with concerned interest as she opened a can of iced tea and took a drink. “Abby, Abby...look at me.” She finally did as he requested, and he looked deep into her clear, dark eyes. “You can’t even say her name?” He knew her well enough to see the pain before she hid it. “You’re putting everything you have into this home. What happens if she doesn’t come back?”

  Her jaw muscle clenched as she fought to stay in control of her raw emotions. He reached out and grabbed her by the arm. “Abby, look at me,” Lincoln pleaded, but she turned away from him. “Damn it, Abby, you’re keeping this busy because you don’t want to think about the alternative.”

  “What would you know?”

  “I know you’re hurting. You want something so badly, but you have no idea how to get it.” Abby shook her head. “Abby, I know you. I know how scared you are.”

  “Of all the things I am, Lincoln, scared is not one of them,” she fired back.

  “Aren’t you? You’re pushing yourself this hard so that you don’t have to think about her. You don’t have to think, just work and breathe.” He waited, but there was no response. “Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me to go to Hell. You won’t, Abby, because you know I’m right.”

  She pulled her arm out of his grasp. “Go to Hell, Lincoln.”

  “No! I’m not doing this any more. You love her, Abby, and it’s killing you not being with her. Those emotional walls you’ve built up have been coming down since you met her and that scares the hell out of you. She’s seen the real you — we all have — and it terrifies you.”

  “Enough, Lincoln,” she stated calmly but firmly as a darkness passed through her eyes.

  “Jesus Christ, Abby!” Abby’s eyes dropped, but Lincoln never wavered. “I know you love her and you’re busting your ass to build this, and you can’t even say her name!” Abby tried to look away, but Lincoln stepped in front of her. “You are going to listen to me, even if I have to beat it into you.”

  She looked her ex-partner in the eyes. “You just don’t understand.”

  “No. I don’t. Make me understand. You love her and she loves you. The answer seems simple to me.” Lincoln could see her struggle to keep her upper lip steady.

  “I gave her my word,” she finally said quietly.

  “What?” Lincoln was unsure of what she had said.

  “I gave her my word.”

  “Word, what word? What kind of bullshit is that? You let the woman you love leave because you gave her your word?” He couldn’t fathom what she was trying to say. “Are you telling me you two are putting yourselves through all of this because of some stupid — what — honor?”

  “It’s not stupid, Lincoln. She told me she needed time.”

  Rolling his eyes to the skies, he let out a gasp of disbelief. “Oh, for the love of...” He looked back at her. “You know, I always thought as a lesbian you had it made. You’re a woman, so you should be able to understand women. You of all people would know what makes a woman tick. But you’re more screwed up in the head than most of the guys I know.”

  “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means you’ve been pining away for her while she’s been waiting for you to come and get her.”

  Abby shook her head. “No, Lincoln, you don’t understand. She said she needed time.”

  “No, you...arrrrgggg...you fool! You don’t understand. You’re not waiting for her, she’s waiting for you!” She opened her mouth to protest but then quickly closed it again. “Abby, I never said I understood women, but I do know the rules. Sometimes, for whatever reason, you say one thing and we’re supposed to know you mean the exact opposite.
When you run, it means you want us to run after you.”

  She listened to his words and she listened to her heart, and for the first time in months she listened to the little voice in her head.

  “Go after her, Abby. It’s what you both want.”

  The solemn woman turned back and looked at the home she had been building. She had poured her heart and soul into keeping her mind occupied, but he was right, it hadn’t worked. Everything she had done had been for Sarah. Soulfully she looked to her partner. “I have no idea where to find her.”

  Lincoln smiled. “I do.”

  ♥

  Helga was in the kitchen pouring coffee for Nathan and Günter when she spotted Lincoln and Abby coming down the road.

  “Well, as I live and breathe,” she muttered.

  Günter looked up at his wife. “What is that, my dear?”

  She gestured toward the front walkway. “Mohammad got the mountain to come in for lunch.”

  All eyes turned to see Lincoln opening the door for Abby. Nathan quickly rose and went to her with open arms. “Abby, it’s so good to see you.”

  “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m not staying.” Abby didn’t see the wave of disappointed looks that went around the room. “Uncle Nathan, I was hoping to borrow your helicopter.”

  “My helicopter? Where are you going?”

  Abby shifted her gaze to Lincoln. “Boulder, Colorado.”

  Chapter 36

  “Take the quote out of the first line and put it at the end of the story,” the editor at the head of the table said. “Okay, where are we with the story on the closing of those hospital beds?”

  “That’s mine.” Sarah flipped through her notes. “The decrease in the number of beds is part of the new clinical service plan, at least that’s what the press release asserts. Management says they’ll save money, but the medical authorities say it will cost lives.”