Groomed

by Bethany Leigh

  Charlotte fought an overwhelming urge to thump him. How dare Tom assume that Charlotte should effectively become full-time mum to Josh? "We both work," she pointed out. "There'd be no-one at home for Josh during the week."

  "Oh, well he'd be at school most of the time you're at work," said Tom. "You can give him a key and he can let himself in, fix himself a snack before you two get home. It's not like he's a little kid. He'll look after himself most of the time."

  "I'll think about it," Connor said. He glanced at Charlotte. "It's not a bad idea."

  It was a fucking awful idea. Charlotte seethed for the remainder of the afternoon, tuned out the travellers' tales Tom and Pat resumed telling. She turned on Connor the minute they were back in the car.

  "You'd better not be serious about getting custody of Josh!"

  "Why not?" He pulled away from the kerb, waved to his parents, who were on the door step. "It'd solve a few problems. Josh is unhappy up there. Deborah wants to send him to a private school, which'll cost big bickies. He can live with us, go to his old school, be with his mates. His marks will improve."

  "Or she could move back to Melbourne, admit moving to Queensland was a mistake."

  "Well, she won't do that."

  "No, of course she won't. So you'll tell her we'll take him just because your dad wants you to. Cave-In Connor."

  "I thought you liked Josh."

  "I do. I just don't want to be a mum. Which is basically what I would be if we had custody."

  "Like Dad said, he's not a little kid, is he?" Connor reminded her. "He can look after himself. And I'd do all the cooking. You wouldn't really have to do anything."

  But he'd be there. He'd be in the spare bedroom, just a narrow passageway away from their own bedroom. There'd be no sex. Worse, there'd be no spanking. Charlotte had tried to provoke a couple more spankings since the night at Graham and Lisa's. The first time he'd played deaf to her rudeness and ignored the hairbrush she'd left conveniently on the bed. The second time, this morning in fact, she'd had to escalate to the point where she chucked her hairbrush at him. She'd missed his shoulder, and he'd snatched it up and used it to give her three whacks on the bottom. The sudden sharp sting had made her yell out 'Stop', so he had. It was really frustrating. Before they left today, she'd placed their thickest, most titillating-looking wooden spoon on her pillow, intending to be deliberately disrespectful on the way back.

  But now triggering a spanking was the last thing on her mind. Now all she cared about was that they would not have Josh living with them; she didn't want her life disrupted in this way.

  "I just don't want the lack of privacy that having a kid in the house will bring," she said.

  "What about what I want?" he demanded.

  "It would never have crossed your mind if your fucking father hadn't suggested it! Why do you even talk to him anyway? Ungrateful sod! He couldn't even thank you for looking after his garden for months, just noticed that you couldn't get there to mow the lawn last weekend."

  Connor didn't respond.

  "If you think he'll suddenly love you as much as he loves Martin because you take custody of Josh, you're wrong. Nothing you do will ever please him."

  "I know that," he said. Charlotte glanced across, saw the hurt expression on his face.

  "It's not about what I want, or what Dad wants anyway," he said. "It's about what Josh wants. I'll talk to him, find out."

  "You'll do what?" Undoubtedly, Josh would want to live with them, be near his mates. No way did she want this happening.

  "You're saying he can't live with us?"

  "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. You get custody, I leave."

  "That's not fair. You know how much I love you. You shouldn't ask me to choose."

  "And you shouldn't put me in a situation I never expected to be in. I wouldn't have married you if you'd had custody."

  He sighed. "I know that."

  "So why are we even having this conversation? You're such a fucking idiot, I can't believe how stupid you are sometimes."

  Connor adjusted the air-con in the car, and went silent, annoying her even more. She called him names all the way home, and slammed the door as she got out of the car. She slammed the front door behind her too, making sure he knew exactly how pissed off she was. She was sick, sick, sick of Connor and his fucking interfering parents. She was about to turn on the computer when Connor gripped her arm.

  She tried to wrest out of his grasp. "Get off me!"

  "I'm tired of the way you talk to me, the names you've been calling me."

  "Well, don't be so fucking stupid then."

  He dragged her to the bedroom. What the fuck? Charlotte kicked out at him, angry. He was in the wrong here, she didn't deserve to be spanked.

  He pinned her over the bed and the wooden spoon landed hard on her bottom. She yelped, and he raised it again, bringing it down harder on the other cheek. "I should be able to discuss things with you," he snarled. "And not have you resort to name-calling all the time."

  "It wasn't a discussion, it was you giving into your dad," Charlotte snapped. "And get the fuck off me. Ow!" The wooden spoon sent searing pain through her backside. Instinctively, Charlotte tried to fend off the next blow with her hand. She screamed as the thick wood collided with her knuckles.

  "Shit," Connor said, chucking down the spoon. "Charlotte, I'm sorry."

  Charlotte jumped up from the bed, examined her throbbing fingers. Her knuckles were red and pinpricked with blood. She felt nauseous from the pain.

  Connor tried to take her hand to inspect the damage, but Charlotte pulled away. "You fuckwit." She sucked at her knuckles to try to ease the pain.

  "I'm sorry," he repeated. "Why did you put your hand in the way like that?"

  "Fucking instinct! You're supposed to trap it so I can't, you bloody fool." Panda, Gemma and the rest had never had anything like this happen to them. Their husbands knew how to protect them during a spanking. And Hayden and Mark would never spank in the way Connor just did. They administered loving discipline when necessary, they didn't just lose it and spank even though they were in the wrong. Charlotte's knuckles and bum throbbed so much she wanted to cry.

  "I didn't know you'd do that! I've never hit anyone with a wooden spoon before, and this stuff doesn't come with a manual, does it? Now, let me look." He coaxed her into the bathroom, gently bathed her fingers.

  Later, she caught a glimpse of her bum in the bathroom mirror. The spoon had left black bruises—no wonder sitting down for dinner had been uncomfortable. Despite the day's drama, Charlotte was elated by the throbbing bruises, felt sexier because of them. In the bedroom later, she paraded them in front of Connor by twirling around so her short nightdress lifted up, revealing her bum.

  He grabbed her arm and lifted the nightdress, frowning over her bruises.

  "I'm sorry," he said. He sat her down on his knee, rubbed the bruises. "I shouldn't have lost my temper like that."

  "It's okay," she said. And despite her bruises, she suddenly wanted nothing more than for him to take her over his knee, spank her to tears. With his hand this time, though, not with the spoon. Charlotte had no intention of leaving that lying around again.

  But he didn't spank. And they didn't have sex. Instead Charlotte fell asleep as he gently massaged her bruises.

  Nine

  Charlotte walked home from the train station, hanging out for a red wine and a comforting hot meal. It had been a crap day. On her way to work that morning, she'd slipped on the pavement, skinning her hands and knees and tearing her skirt. When she'd picked up her morning coffee from her favourite café, a new barista had served her and the flat white had tasted like very lightly flavoured milk. When she'd returned to the café demanding her money back, the barista had argued for five minutes before finally giving in and tossing coins at her because the café was full of disgruntled customers. Everything had gone wrong at work, too. A planned interview with Australian tennis star Jelena Dokic fell through, meaning Charlotte h
ad to fix up a different celebrity interview for the next issue. Plus an ad came in late, meaning she had to rearrange the four-page feature article that had just been laid out and looked so good. Then the train home had stopped between stations for half an hour for no reason (at least, the commuters weren't given a reason).

  Wearily, she opened the front door. But there was no smell of cooking. And Connor was just taking off his jacket.

  "I just got home," he told her. "Got held up at work then stuck in traffic."

  So no food. Just fucking great.

  Charlotte started telling him about her rubbish day. As she spoke, Connor began checking the cupboard to see what they could have for tea.

  "Let's go out," she suggested. She was tired, cranky. She wanted to relax, to eat a meal without having to think about clearing away the dishes afterwards.

  "No, it's all right, I'll cook."

  "We haven't eaten out for ages."

  "We have to watch our pennies," he said.

  "You didn't lose your job. We're okay." The good news that Connor had survived the restructure had come through last Friday afternoon. "Anyway, we still haven't celebrated the fact you're still employed."

  "Still best not to waste money, isn't it? I'll cook, you relax," he insisted.

  For fuck's sake. Connor might be a great cook, but sometimes, like tonight, Charlotte wanted to be taken out to a restaurant. To have a romantic dinner, candles on the table, the works. She was sick of scrimping like they were students. Connor placed a bag of rice on the counter. In a fit of bitter rage, Charlotte backhanded it to the floor. The bag burst open, rice scattering across the polished floorboards like confetti.

  "You stupid fool!" he yelled. "What did you do that for?"

  "Because I want to go out! I'm sick of living like we do!"

  He grabbed the vacuum cleaner, attacked the mess. Charlotte remained by the counter, seething. She hated him for not bringing home enough money for them to be able to dine out whenever she wanted to. And she hated him more for not spanking her now when she'd just lost her temper.

  Connor switched off the vacuum cleaner. Stony faced, he turned back to the cupboard to check for more rice.

  "Fuckwit," Charlotte snarled.

  His expression changed, a mixture of hurt and long-suffering. But he said nothing.

  "Oh, fuck you," she snapped and walked away.

  "No, fuck you," he said.

  Connor snatched up his car keys and slammed the front door behind him. She heard the crunch of gravel as he reversed his car out of the drive. She resisted the temptation to run after him, wave him back and apologise. She felt bad about her behaviour but at the same time she despised him for running out on her instead of spanking her.

  Charlotte headed for the computer. Yet again Connor had stuffed up DD. Charlotte yearned to be Panda, to have a husband like Hayden who knew exactly when his wife needed a trip across his knee. Connor was proving a hopeless disciplinarian, like Charlotte had always known deep down he would be. She'd so hoped it would turn out differently, that he'd be one of those 'formerly mouse-like partners' who took to discipline 'like a duck to water'.

  Connor had taken to it more like a cat to water.

  He hadn't spanked her since the incident with the wooden spoon, despite her winding him up, trying to make him react.

  She clicked into Spanking Sheilas. The yearning to be Panda or Gemma or any of the spanked forumites wounded her more than even that bloody wooden spoon had hurt her bum and knuckles.

  Thread: Cold hands, warm arse

  His Precious Gem: What a story, Panda.

  I've never been caned. I can't imagine what it feels like. Have you been caned since?

  Panda: NO! ONCE IS ENOUGH.

  Bedroom Fun Bryony: >>>NO! ONCE IS ENOUGH.>>>

  IF this story is real—and that's a very big IF—then once isn't only enough, it's once too often.

  IF this story is real, then your husband is abusive, pure and simple and my advice to you is to leave him.

  Panda: See, this is what worries me when I post about our relationship. I don't want anyone to think Hayden is abusive, because he's not.

  He only disciplines me to prevent me from doing something that could result in my death. And that's not an exaggeration! Before Hayden started spanking me, I weighed less than 40 kilos! That's 88 pounds for you American Sheilas! And I *still* thought I was fat and wanted to lose weight. On this day, he punished me because it really was cold inside (only 4 degrees) and I was shivering and frozen. Sitting in a T-shirt, shaking with cold. That's dangerous. And I've never done it again.

  Bedroom Fun Bryony: "He only punishes me when I deserve it." Isn't that what all battered women say?

  I enjoy a playful spanking in the bedroom, but what you're describing isn't fun or erotic. It's abuse.

  Get out before HE causes your death.

  His Precious Gem: Bryony, what you're saying is ridiculous. If you'd read all of Panda's posts, you would know that Hayden is far from abusive. Does he come home after a bad day at work and punch Panda in the face because his dinner isn't ready? No. Does he discover Panda has binged on biscuits and is vomiting them up in the toilet, crying because she's made herself miserable, then spank her bottom for punishment? Yes.

  The former situation is abusive, the second is not.

  Bedroom Fun Bryony: With respect, Gemma, I think you're wrong. Panda is a grown woman, and however stupid her decisions may be (who sits in a freezing cold house all day in a T-shirt for heaven's sake?) they are hers to make. Hayden has no right to 'discipline' her for being, frankly, immature.

  His Precious Gem: >>>Hayden has no right to 'discipline' her for being, frankly, immature.>>>

  He does have that right. Panda has consented to his being HOH and taking her over his knee when it's in *her* best interest. What sort of partner would he be if he weren't looking out for her interests? If my husband came home and found me there with no heating on, frozen to the bone, I'd expect much the same treatment. What would happen if you did the same as Panda?

  Bedroom Fun Bryony: >>>What would happen if you did the same as Panda?>>>

  1 I wouldn't be so dumb as to do that, BUT

  2 if I did, I'd be told in no uncertain terms what an idiot I was being. But there'd be no punishment. Stupid decisions usually result in their own consequences, I'd say.

  Charlotte read the thread, envious and resentful. If she sat all day in the cold, Connor would probably be delighted that it would save on the heating bills. If she wore only a T-shirt, his reaction would be like that of Bryony's husband. That if she was stupid enough to do that, it was her problem, he wasn't going to stop her.

  The scrunch of gravel and glare of headlights signalled that Connor was home. Charlotte didn't know what to do. She wanted to dash out to greet him, hug him, say she was sorry. At the same time she wanted to yell at him for retreating from an argument, tell him he was weak, not a real man. And she also wanted to stay in the office and sulk, ignoring him all night.

  She wanted to be spanked, goddammit.

  She heard the key in the door, heard him moving around the kitchen. She exited Spanking Sheilas, clicked onto her history browser.

  But there was no sound of footsteps along the passageway. Charlotte cleared her history, conflicted about what to do. Go to him? Wait for him to come to her?

  What would Panda do?

  More to the point: what would Hayden do?

  Hayden would come to the office, calm but firm. He'd scold her, order her over his knee. She'd be sore and sorry, in floods of tears, within ten minutes. Not that he'd stop after ten minutes, of course. He'd spank her till he was sure she'd learned her lesson. Then the friction would be over, they'd cuddle, make love. The incident that triggered the spanking would never be mentioned again. She'd be forgiven.

  Shit, Charlotte couldn't cope with Connor any longer. She wanted a reaction from him, wanted to stop the way he didn't handle things. She whirled out of the office, down the passageway.
Connor was defrosting chicken. He glanced at her, wary.

  "Where've you been?" she demanded.

  "Just out for a drive."

  "Why?"

  Connor shrugged.

  "For God's sake! Talk to me."

  "We needed more rice." He indicated the plastic bag of groceries on the counter that she hadn't noticed till now.

  He wanted her to apologise. Well, she wouldn't. She wasn't sorry about hurling the rice to the floor and anyway, it wasn't her fault the bag broke. And why shouldn't she want to be taken out to dinner somewhere nice occasionally? Other women got taken out all the time. Panda and Gemma were always dining in expensive restaurants. They'd posted about it often enough.

  God, what had happened to her? What happened to the feisty feminist, determined to make her own way in life? Now all she wanted was a wealthy guy to take her out to dinner and to keep her in line. Okay, so she'd always wanted someone to keep her in line, but wanting to be treated like a trophy wife was new.

  "I hate it when you get so angry," Connor said, pouring rice into a pan.

  "I hate it when you walk away like that. It's pathetic."

  "I know what you wanted me to do and that's why I left. I really wanted to hit you and that's why I had to get away, calm down, give you a chance to calm down as well."

  What did he mean, he wanted to hit her? Hit wasn't a sexy word, like spank or smack or slap or even whack. It was a turn-off word, a brutal word.

  "I've told you that you can spank me."

  "If did, then it would have been too hard. Like it was after that visit to my parents." His mouth set in a firm line. "I'm never doing that to you again."

  "That was because you used the wooden spoon." The last thing Charlotte wanted was for him to back out of DD. "I'm sorry about what I did. I'd feel better if you did punish me. If I knew for sure you'd always spank me for losing my temper, I'd be less likely to lose it." Actually, she wasn't so sure about that, she loved the idea of a spanking. But that was how it was meant to work. Perhaps it would work that way if Connor was diligent about spanking her when she deserved it. He often didn't carry through however much she misbehaved, and that was surely the problem, why DD wasn't working so far.