Groomed

by Bethany Leigh

  That, and the spankings he'd given her hadn't been ritualised enough, long enough, hard enough.

  "Just don't use the spoon," she said.

  "I'm not using my hand," he said. "I've already got problems with RSI from work. It'll just damage it further."

  "Try the hairbrush, then. It won't bruise like the spoon. Please," she added. "I feel like it'll help."

  "Okay," he said, resigned. "Tonight, after dinner."

  Charlotte's spirits soared.

  She set the table, and rummaged through their CDs for one of his favourite albums, settling on Fleetwood Mac. She released her hair from its pony-tail and shook it over her shoulders, the way he liked it. It was late now, and Connor looked tired as he served up the simple meal. Afterwards, Charlotte stacked the dishwasher and Connor carried his wine into the lounge room. She heard the music go off and the telly on and bristled with anger. Don't say he's forgotten his promise already?

  He was watching a documentary when she walked into the room with her own wine.

  "I thought you said you were going to spank me?" She was aware she sounded bitter and she noticed an expression of—what? despair? irritation?—cross Connor's face.

  "I am," he said. "After this. Finish your wine and then wait for me in the bedroom."

  "Wait for me in the bedroom." Charlotte's stomach danced. This was real DD! Textbook DD! Having to wait for him, knowing she was getting a spanking. Sitting on the bed, dreading what was coming.

  Except Charlotte wasn't dreading it. She couldn't bloody wait.

  She swallowed the remainder of her wine and put the glass in the dishwasher. Then she stomped along the passageway to the bedroom, oozing attitude, hoping Connor would notice and add a few extra smacks for it. She switched on their bedside lamps and perched on the edge of the bed. She placed her hairbrush on the bedside table.

  She sat for what seemed like an eternity, but the clock said it was only a couple of minutes.

  The documentary was still going. Shit, this waiting was boring.

  She picked up her book from the bedside table and read a couple of pages. But it was too hard to concentrate when all you wanted was for your man to come in and spank your backside scarlet.

  She opened her bedside drawer and decided to give it a clear out. It would pass the time away and get a boring job off the to-do list; two birds with one stone. Three, actually, if Connor caught her not just sitting on the bed waiting, and added more spanks.

  "You only said to wait for you, not that I couldn't do anything while waiting." Extra slaps for extra sass.

  She'd just gathered a bunch of old receipts for shredding when she heard the music signal the end of the documentary. At bloody last. She put the receipts in a pile on the dressing table and perched on the edge of the bed.

  The telly didn't go off. There was no sound to indicate Connor was moving around, preparing to punish his errant wife. More theme music blared and there was still no sign that Connor was going to do anything other than watch the next bloody show!

  Fuck him!

  Charlotte stormed out of the room, down to the lounge room.

  Connor was fast asleep on the sofa, his glass of wine on the coffee table, still untouched.

  Fuck him!

  She grabbed the remote, turned off the telly. She shook Connor, hard.

  He startled awake, grunted something unintelligible.

  "Wake up," she snarled.

  Connor slowly came to, sat up straight. "Sorry. I must have fallen asleep."

  "You don't say."

  He clambered to his feet. "It's been a long day."

  "You told me to go to the bedroom and wait for you. I've been waiting for bloody ages."

  Connor grinned. "Have you? That surprises me, actually."

  "Why does it surprise you? I did it because that's our new agreement. That you're going to spank me when I lose my temper."

  His face clouded over. "I'm tired."

  "You mean you're not going to?"

  Charlotte couldn't believe it. He was letting her down now, after she'd genuinely believed he was starting to get it right.

  "Not tonight." He walked over to the door. "But if you ever do anything like that again, you'll get a really good spanking, I promise you that."

  "Like you promised tonight, you mean? Wow, I'm really scared."

  He turned away, left the room. She wanted to lash out at him, break something, go and throw the new packet of rice all over the floor, make him carry out his bloody promise. She heard his footsteps going in the direction of the bathroom, leaving her wondering what the hell to do. In the end she returned to the bedroom, undressed, and threw herself under the doona, crying tears of anger and disappointment. When Connor joined her, she didn't speak to him, didn't say goodnight. When he tried to cuddle up to her, she didn't respond.

  "Be like that, then," he said, and rolled away.

  This will never work, Charlotte. He's not good enough. Not sophisticated enough, authoritative enough, assertive enough.

  And maybe, Charlotte conceded, she wasn't good enough either. Not loving enough, not submissive enough. And while she had no idea what Panda looked like, she'd gained the impression from her posts that she was stunning, the kind of woman who turned heads in the street, that every man would want to be with. Till having children, she'd been successful career-wise too, as was Gemma.

  Charlotte wasn't beautiful or successful. A dominant man would never be attracted to her. She had nothing to offer them.

  Like attracts like.

  Charlotte and Connor were both losers who had attracted each other.

  Now that she knew there was a better life out there for winners, how was she ever going to come to terms with this loser one?

  Ten

  Thread: My worst spanking

  Helen: Hello. I've been lurking on here for ages, enjoying reading all the posts. It's good to know there are plenty of other women out there in a domestic discipline relationship. I've been in a DD relationship since I first got married, sixteen years ago.

  John and I both come from a very strict church background and when we married, we both accepted that he would be head of the household and that I would obey him. I accepted his right to punish me if I disobeyed him.

  We moved into an area where a lot of people from our church lived. I gave up work to keep house, which is what we both wanted and what most couples in our church did. I had a couple of friends who lived in the same area, and when we'd done our chores for the day, we used to meet up.

  My friend's husband was overseas preaching and one day I was round at hers and forgot the time. The first I realised it was dinner time was when John came banging on her front door. He'd spent all day at work and I hadn't even started preparing dinner. He didn't speak to me when I met him at the door, just gave me two really hard swats on my bottom to propel me towards the gate. As he marched me home, he gave me more slaps. This was so embarrassing I was already crying before I got home. As soon as I was bent over the sofa, he took off his belt.

  He lit into me with the belt and the pain was awful. I squealed and begged him to stop, but he just smacked harder and harder until he was exhausted from spanking me. I was so sore it hurt to stand.

  I had to cook dinner for him but not for myself. I had to stand in the corner while he ate. After that I had to wash the dishes then go to bed. I wasn't allowed to see my friends other than at church for a month.

  That wasn't the first or last time he spanked me. But it was the worst.

  Anna35: Helen, how awful for your husband to smack you in front of other people. I can't imagine. It would be so humiliating.

  Helen: Yes, I felt worse that my friend had seen him smack me than I did about the spanking. But she knew I deserved it for not being home with his dinner ready. She said her husband would have spanked her too.

  Bedroom Fun Bryony: Another tale of abuse disguised as discipline. He beats you with a belt so hard you can't stand? Starves you? Time to get out.

&n
bsp; Helen: Not abuse at all. I accept his right to discipline me. All I have to do is behave and I don't get the belt. I always have choices.

  His Precious Gem: How often are you spanked, Helen? Getting the belt every time does seem excessive.

  Helen: I am spanked once a month on average. When we first got married and I was learning his rules, it was at least once a week, so you can see that DD works for us.

  I'm so sore after a spanking that I will do anything to avoid him taking the belt to me again until the welts have gone. Sitting down is so uncomfortable too, especially as he won't let me sit on a soft chair after a spanking.

  His Precious Gem: It doesn't sound very loving to me, but of course I'm only seeing a small part of your life here.

  Helen: It's as loving as anything else I read on here, including your stories, Gemma, and Panda's, whose stories everyone fawns over. What's the difference between me getting the belt off John for disobeying him and Panda getting the cane for not putting the heating on?

  Bedroom Fun Bryony: >>>What's the difference between me getting the belt off John for disobeying him and Panda getting the cane for not putting the heating on?>>>

  Absolutely nothing, which is kind of my point. You're both abused and you need to seek help. Go find a refuge!

  Anna35: Go find another forum to hang out on. You obviously don't belong on here. You do understand that we all WANT this kind of discipline, don't you? That we ask for it, consent to it?

  Bedroom Fun Bryony: Well, I don't think Helen actually asked to be belted. Her husband just gave it to her even though she pleaded with him to stop.

  Helen: I consent to John's discipline. It saddens him when he has to punish me, he doesn't enjoy it at all. He says it hurts him to have to hurt me. He's not an abuser, just a firm head of the household who won't tolerate anything less than the best of me.

  Panda: >>>just a firm head of the household who won't tolerate anything less than the best of me.>>>

  That describes Hayden perfectly too, Helen. I think you have to be in a DD relationship to understand what it feels like to have a husband who won't allow you to fall short of being the best you can be. Trust, accountability—it's hard for those who don't have DD in their lives to understand our needs.

  Bedroom Fun Bryony: You're all a bunch of nutters! Abused ones at that. Well, I tried. Your problem if you can't heed my warning. I'm outta here.

  Admin: Bedroom Fun Bryony has left the forum.

  Helen: I'm glad to hear that. I felt very judged and didn't expect to here.

  Miss Scarlet: Nice to see you go!

  His Precious Gem: >>>Nice to see you go!>>>

  Well said, Miss Scarlet!

  I too am glad to see Bedroom Fun Bryony go. She wasn't much fun in this forum. How is DD going, by the way?

  Why, why, why had Charlotte joined in that thread? The glow of pleasure from Gemma's praising her wisecrack disappeared as soon as she mentioned their DD. That was the last thing Charlotte wanted to talk about. She wished it was going well. She ached to belong, to hang out online with Panda and Gemma, even Helen, be one of the DD in crowd recounting escapades and punishments.

  Maybe they could help, though? She took a deep breath and wrote a response.

  Thread: My worst spanking

  Miss Scarlet: It's not going well, to be honest. I've received quite a few spankings for losing my temper, but he's reluctant to punish me. This is partly because I bruise easily and he doesn't like seeing the bruises. And it's partly because he just doesn't think it's right to spank me. He says he thinks of us as equals, not of himself as the boss.

  Not long after there was a trickle of responses. Charlotte read them, hopeful.

  Thread: My worst spanking

  His Precious Gem: I often wish Mark was more reluctant. If I misbehave, he will automatically spank me even if I am still sore from the last one.

  Panda: I agree, Gemma! Sometimes I wish Hayden was more reluctant. But then, if he hadn't introduced DD, and ALWAYS carried through, even though it was sometimes hard for him to do so, well, I'd still probably be stuffing my face with chocolates and in the bathroom throwing up.

  Helen: >>> He says he thinks of us as equals, not of himself as the boss.>>>

  That's where so many couples get it wrong. Too many women want independence and men have become weak. John and I never thought of ourselves as equals. We grew up in a church that stressed that the man was head of the household. It never entered my head that my husband would ever be anything less than our leader and that I would submit to him. Your husband needs to learn self-respect, Miss Scarlet, or why would you respect him?

  His Precious Gem: Helen, you don't have to not view yourself as equals for DD to work. I'm a successful barrister and Mark has always supported me in that. I am very independent, not needy at all. I earn a good deal more than he does. I can fix things around the house, chop logs, fix the car if need be. He doesn't see me as 'less' because I'm female, any more than I see him as 'more' because he's male. We introduced DD because it keeps me on track. If I said tomorrow I no longer consented, he would never spank me again. But I'd never do that, because I'm a better person because of the spankings. He spanks me because he loves me, wants the best for me, not because he doesn't see me as equal.

  Charlotte suddenly loathed these people, these self-assured, opinionated, Hollywood-perfect posters, who only wanted to talk about themselves and how great their lives and lifestyles were. The way they so subtly belittled those whose home lives and situations didn't mirror their own exactly. And Bryony was right, really. Helen's situation was abusive. Charlotte wondered what it must be like to be Helen, getting belted when she displeased her husband, hard enough to leave welts and so sore she struggled to move. Was Helen's situation real DD, though, as opposed to Gemma's, whereby she said that if she withdrew consent, Mark would never spank her again? John didn't care whether Helen consented or not. He was head of the household, if she broke a rule, he spanked her. Did that mean Gemma and Mark were just playing?

  And what about Panda? Was her DD real or just play? If Panda said 'no', would Hayden still spank anyway if he deemed it necessary? From Panda's posts Charlotte thought he would, though only if she endangered her health.

  Why couldn't Connor be like Hayden?

  Charlotte had a sudden overwhelming desire to get away from all this, to escape. It was too confusing. The painful yearning, the unsatisfactory reality of the spankings, the constant conflict between her feminism and her need to be spanked. She exited the forum, deleted her history and turned off the computer.

  She wished she'd never discovered Spanking Sheilas.

  She'd been happier before she knew DD existed.

  Eleven

  November, 1999

  Thread: Spanking new Christmas presents

  His Precious Gem: It's getting closer to Christmas so I thought we could all share a) what has been the most memorable gift from our husband, and b) what we'd like for Christmas this year.

  My most memorable gift from Mark was given to me on our first Christmas together after we were married. He filled a Christmas stocking for me with luxury chocolates, my favourite but terribly expensive perfume, gorgeous lacy lingerie and a leather paddle that stung like the blazes. I recall too that I felt the sting of that paddle before I'd tried the perfume or chocolates.

  This year I would like a clarinet, as I'm thinking of taking up playing again and joining an orchestra. My New Year's resolution is to get out more instead of spending so much time online.

  Panda: Oh, LOL, Gemma, your posts make me laugh so much. Hayden and Mark are like two peas in a pod! Hayden ALWAYS buys me household items that have a dual purpose. I've received the most painful heavy wooden hairbrush, a bath brush, a carpet beater, and of course spatulas and wooden spoons. Ouch! And somehow my presents to him have a dual purpose too. I bought him some slippers one year, and of course they'd been applied to my backside before Christmas dinner! Oh boy, was I sore that Christmas. Another year I got him a
really cool belt and again he'd used it on my naughty backside before he'd looped it through his trousers. Just as well I love him, he's so strict, even at Christmas.

  I'm not sure what I'm getting for Christmas, but I do know we're buying a table-tennis set for the kids to play with…and I have a feeling those bats will get used for something else when the kids aren't around, lol.

  Her Red Mark: Table tennis sounds like a fun game we could take up, Gemma.

  His Precious Gem: I don't think so, darling.

  Her Red Mark: On reflection, horse riding is more fun, and I still have a riding crop out in the shed. Which I'll be applying to your backside as soon as you get off that computer, which is right now, DARLING!

  Big Hand Bruce: Strewth! Somebody's in trouble. A table tennis set is a good idea, though.

  Admin: Certainly, Mrs Admin, who doesn't enjoy cooking, appreciates the alternative uses for a wooden spoon or spatula. These make excellent presents for errant sheilas, gentlemen.

  "Are we buying each other Christmas presents this year?" Charlotte asked.

  They were on their way to the monthly craft market and although it was only November, Charlotte wanted to make a start on Christmas shopping. She liked to buy original Australiana to send her family in Wales. They had to be in the post by the beginning of December to be sure of arriving in time for Christmas.

  Connor was driving. He didn't answer straightaway, like he was trying to work out which response would trigger the least explosive reaction. He settled for, "Do you want to?"

  That first Christmas, when they'd taken out the mortgage on the house, and she'd paid to have her things shipped over, they'd pooled their money and bought furniture instead of Christmas presents. Last year, they'd bought small gifts for each other in addition to rugs for the office and spare bedroom.