by Janice Lynn
Did she really think he couldn’t see her frequent little looks? Why was she sneaking? She’d been the one to look away. The one to walk away. The one to keep going when he’d motioned her to pull her car over.
Why didn’t she just tell him how she was? Whether or not she missed him? Ever thought of him? Why didn’t she just tell him whether or not there had been any unwanted repercussions to their picnic rendezvous?
Unwanted.
If Madison was pregnant, would she want their child?
He didn’t want children. Well, maybe not so much that he didn’t want them, just that he knew better than to think he should have any, should risk putting a kid through what he’d been through. He never wanted to risk being like his father.
Thank goodness he’d gotten to spend time with his mother during the summers, that he’d gotten to visit with his grandfather. He’d always liked to think he was more like his granddad than his father, but after his father’s comment Levi’s own determination to prove he wasn’t, and his subsequent failure, he knew better. But if Madison was pregnant, he’d cling to the hope that his grandfather’s blood ran strong in his child or that his child took after Madison’s family.
If she was pregnant, he’d support whatever decision she made. If she wanted an abortion, he’d support that. Somehow. If she wanted to keep their baby, well, he’d support that, too.
The thought of Madison not wanting their baby had him pausing. He didn’t want her to be pregnant, so why did the thought of her aborting cause his insides to constrict, to reject that idea as unacceptable? Why did he thoroughly hope that if she was pregnant, she’d want their child?
What he really wanted, though, was for her not to be pregnant because every time he looked at her guilt filled him. Guilt that he’d put her in such a position.
He hadn’t intentionally risked getting her pregnant. Getting a condom out of his wallet hadn’t occurred to him.
But it should have.
They had to talk.
Closing the distance between them with a couple of long strides, he grabbed her wrist, caught her off guard. Turning to Karen, he apologized. “I’ll bring your nurse back after we’ve had a word or two.”
“Fine,” Karen agreed, looking more pleased than upset at his high-handedness. “About time, if you ask me.”
“No one asked.”
Madison grimaced at his growled words, pulling her wrist free. “Don’t talk to my best friend like that. And don’t touch me. Ever.”
She wasn’t going to make this easy. Not that he’d expected her to. Not really. He didn’t deserve her to.
“We need to talk.” He gestured toward an empty patient room and was relieved she went into the room so he didn’t have to toss her over his shoulder and carry her in.
“You’ve barely said a word to me for the past month,” she reminded him, eyes narrowed as he closed the door behind him, “and now you want to talk so desperately it can’t wait until after work?”
She had a point. But he’d purposely not looked into her big green eyes, purposely not let himself remember the emotion in their depths. Today, when he’d stepped out of the elevator, made eye contact, he’d been a goner.
“This is crazy. Just leave me alone, Levi.” Her eyes flashed with anger. “I mean, Dr. Fielding. We’ve nothing left to say to each other. Not personally, and if this is a professional conversation, you need to work on your people skills.”
“Don’t deny that we need to talk,” he growled between gritted teeth, wondering how it was possible for her to swing his emotions so back and forth.
“The opportunity to talk has come and gone.” Her chin lifted a couple of notches. “I’m on duty and don’t appreciate you manhandling me.”
Levi paled. He didn’t have to have a mirror to know his skin had gone pasty white. He didn’t manhandle women. Ever.
He raked fingers that trembled through his hair, took a deep breath. “Fine. We’ll talk tomorrow night.”
“Tomorrow night?” She blinked at him.
“Yes, tomorrow night. The grand opening gala we’ve been working on for the past month. We have a date, remember?”
Her mouth dropped open. “You still want me to go to the opening as your date?”
Levi stared straight into her eyes, refused to let her look away. “I haven’t made other arrangements. Have you?”
The flash in her eyes said she considered telling him that, yes, she had. Or maybe she was considering telling him to take a trip down south. Way down south and to say hello to the devil while he was there.
“So…” she glared “…my going is more about convenience?”
“Convenience?” He laughed without humor. “Lady, there isn’t anything convenient about you.”
“I resent that comment.”
“Add it to the list of things you resent about me.”
Her gaze narrowed as she regarded him, her gaze lowered, her expression becoming pinched. “There is no list of things I resent about you.”
“No?” That surprised him. He could have written her a list a mile long. Starting with the fact that he’d not protected her when they’d made love, followed closely by the way he’d treated her afterwards. “Then me picking you up at four shouldn’t be a problem?”
Her hands went to her hips. “Actually, it is a problem. I’m meeting Carol at the center at three to help with any last-minute problems that arise.”
He sighed. “I’m working tomorrow until three. I can’t have you at the center that early.”
She gave him a so-what look. “I didn’t hear me ask you to. I’m planning to drive myself.”
Which meant she’d have her car to drive herself home in and he’d have no excuse to talk to her in private, because he didn’t fool himself into thinking he’d be able to find alone time with her at the gala so they could talk. Not with his father there.
He shook his head. “I’ll send a car for you.”
“What?” Her brow arched high on her forehead.
“I’ll send a car for you. Be ready to leave your place at two-thirty.”
She stared at him, then shrugged. “Okay, fine. I’ll be ready at two-thirty, but I think it’s ridiculous that you’re sending a car when I have a perfectly good car of my own.” She took a deep breath. “But don’t think this changes anything, Levi, because it doesn’t.”
Before he could say anything more, his phone rang, indicating a call. Glancing at the number, he winced. His father.
Rather than answer, he clipped the phone back to his waist. But he might as well have taken the call because while he’d been distracted, Madison had left the room.
When Levi had said he was going to send a car, Madison hadn’t been envisioning the white stretch limousine that pulled up in front of her and Karen’s place.
“Oh, wow!” Karen’s eyes threatened to pop out of her head from where they were looking out of their living-room window. “I think he’s planning to beg you to forgive him tonight.”
Was that what yesterday had been about?
“He doesn’t want my forgiveness.” Actually, she didn’t know what he wanted, had spent way too many hours lying in bed the night before trying to figure that exact thing out and had failed. Maybe he really did just need a date and hadn’t wanted the hassle of asking someone new.
“You should come with me so I don’t have to ride in that thing alone,” she told her friend.
“Like this?” Karen waved her hand in front of her shorts and faded Red Cross T-shirt. “I think not. No worries, though. Once I’ve had a shower and beautified myself, Connor and I will arrive in style. Not that kind of style.” She gestured to the limo. “But we’ll be there. Besides, three’s a crowd.”
“Three?” She turned back toward the window, saw Levi climb out of the limo and head toward the front door. “What’s he doing here? He said he had to work until three.”
Karen shrugged. “Guess he decided picking you up was more important.”
“Than his pa
tients?” Madison screeched, fanning her suddenly hot face. She turned to her friend. “How do I look?”
“Like a fairy-tale princess about to be swept off her feet.”
Madison snorted. “Ah, but you forget. That prince there yonder hath already swept me off mine feet.” She did her best to pull off an accent of sorts. “Right after he Heimlich maneuvered me and right before he X-rayed me to check for broken ribs.”
“Well…” Karen smiled “…you have to admire a man who’s multi-talented.”
Karen had no idea just how multi-talented the man knocking on their front door was. He’d certainly multi-wowed her on the night of their picnic. Of course, then she’d come crashing back to reality and he hadn’t been there to catch her.
“Wish me luck,” she pleaded, then opened the front door to stare at a man so handsome he really should be a prince. He wore a superbly cut black tux that made him look like he should be walking the red carpet in Hollywood with some glittery supermodel on his arm.
“You look beautiful, Madison.”
Before she could respond he held out a single flower to her. She stared at the bloom, stared at him, speechless.
A limo. A red rose. A gorgeous Prince Charming.
She had the sensation of drowning.
She glanced down at her simple black dress that flared at her knees, the epitome of the term “little black dress that worked for any occasion”. But standing next to Levi, she felt dressed all wrong. She should be in something frilly, something she’d never be caught dead in really, because she was no princess, not even close.
She took the flower, turned from him and went to the kitchen to find a vase. Only when she heard Levi and Karen’s voices did she realize that she hadn’t spoken a single word to him, not even to say hello or thank you.
“Thanks,” she said on re-entering the living room, not pausing as she headed to the front door, because if she did she just might throw herself into his arms and beg him to hold her for ever. That so wouldn’t be good. “We should be going or I’ll be late and Carol might need my help.”
She didn’t wait to see if Levi was following her or not. Just climbed into the limo with the driver’s assistance.
Of course, Levi slid in right behind her, his firm bottom and rock-hard thighs pressing up against her despite the roomy interior.
Madison scooted over. Levi sighed.
“I know I messed up, Madison, but can’t we call a truce for one night?”
“For one night?” She pretended to consider, but honestly a truce sounded wonderful because the last thing she wanted was to fight with Levi. “Sure.”
But she didn’t scoot over next to him, just stared out the window. She’d never actually been inside a limousine before. Strange that her first time would be with Levi, would be when she didn’t know how to act. Why had he wanted her with him?
“This is ridiculous.” He swore under his breath, causing her to face him. He’d moved closer, close enough that when she turned, he took full advantage, pulled her into his arms and covered her mouth with his.
The world stopped moving around her, leaving only her heartbeat and his. Leaving only the thought that for the first time in four weeks everything really did feel like it was going to be all right.
“Levi?” she gasped between kisses.
“Shh,” he breathed against her mouth, “we called a truce, remember?”
“I’m not sure this was included in the peace treaty.” But her fingers had found his shoulders, clung to him.
“Well, it should have been.” He kissed her again, taking her breath away and effectively putting an end to any more conversation.
Who needed words anyway? Her body was telling him how much she’d missed him.
And if she weren’t completely crazy she’d think his body was saying the same back to hers.
Levi gripped Madison’s hand tightly in his, just as he’d done from the moment they’d arrived at the center.
“The Margaret House, a Center for the Prevention and Treatment of Domestic Violence.” That was what the sign on the building proclaimed.
His gaze made its way back to the giant painting that hung in the main entrance of the building. When had his father had the painting done?
Levi supposed it made sense that his mother’s portrait hung on the walls as her name was on the building, but the entire night felt like a farce. A farce his father had cooked up for reasons only Jonathan Fielding knew or understood.
“You okay?” Madison whispered close to his ear.
No, he wasn’t, but he had to make it through this night. “Fine. Will just be glad when this is over.”
She’d said very little to him since he’d helped himself to her mouth. For that matter, she’d said very little to him prior to him kissing her. But she hadn’t pushed him away, had returned his kisses, had clung to him while he’d held her close, breathing in her apple-blossom scent in the moments prior to them getting out of the limo.
“Madison?”
She stared up at him, her make-up accentuating her eyes to the point they looked huge, to the point he just wanted to fall in and drown in her goodness. “Hmm?”
“I’ve missed you.” Which was the honest truth. Which was crazy. He had seen her at both the hospital and in the evenings at the center.
She stared up at him for long moments, then smiled tentatively, squeezing his hand. “I’ve missed you, too, Levi.”
He lifted her hand to his lips, pressed a kiss to her fingers. “We’ll talk later. Figure this out when we’re not surrounded by people.”
“Levi, son, come here and meet Nikki.” His father patted him on the back, interrupting the moment, causing a leeriness to return to Madison’s eyes. “She’s writing an article for the Southern Star magazine and wants to interview you.”
Nikki was a tall, svelte brunette who was looking at Levi like she’d like to take a bite out of him. Madison took a step back, as if she thought perhaps Nikki planned to bite her, too.
Instinctively Levi pulled her closer, situated himself between them protectively. “Madison and I were just headed over to greet her friends.”
“But, Levi, Nikki here wants—”
“Then you take care of Nikki. I’m busy.” Levi grasped Madison’s hand all the tighter and headed toward where Karen and her date had entered the building. Although a large tent had been set up for the actual gala, the center itself was open and people were coming and going from the building.
“Do you and your father not get along?” Madison asked when they were out of earshot.
“Not particularly.”
“But you’ve been doing his bidding night and day for the past month to make this place happen. You’ve spent a lot of time working with him making this happen.”
“For my mother.”
“Because she was abused?” Madison’s soft words jabbed beneath the protective layer around his heart.
Levi closed his eyes.
“I’m sorry.” She placed her palm against his cheek in a gentle caress while her other hand squeezed his. “I have no right to ask.”
He glanced at her, taking in her concerned green eyes, taking in the way her fingers clasped his tightly, as if she’d hold onto him for ever. For some reason that thought didn’t scare him as much as it should have. “Yes, Madison. My father hit my mother and although I was there, I couldn’t stop him.” He closed his eyes, trying to close the memories out of his mind. “Just on the one occasion to my knowledge, but I suppose that’s naïve to believe. That’s when she filed for divorce. For the longest time I thought if I’d been able to stop him that night, maybe she wouldn’t have divorced him.”
“Most children blame themselves in some way when their parents divorce. But whatever happened between them, Levi, it wasn’t your fault.” Madison’s forehead wrinkled in confusion as she glanced around the building then back at him. “So your father built this center as an apology?”
He didn’t answer Madison’s question simply
because he didn’t know how to. He hadn’t considered that his father might be sorry for what he’d done. He’d never heard Jonathan say anything to that effect. Was it even possible? He’d just automatically assumed he had ulterior motives, but what if he really had always regretted the way his marriage had ended?
What if he moved from one woman to the next as if they were interchangeable because they really were, because they weren’t Margaret?
Or was he giving his father too much credit? Probably so. Jonathan was a cold-hearted player through and through.
“Come on.” He tugged Madison to him. “Enough talk about my past. Let’s go outside and dance.”
An hour later, Madison glanced around the large tent that had been set up outside the center, taking in the glamorous people who sipped champagne, donated generous amounts of money, and made sure they were seen and photographed by the press.
Ugh. She’d rather be at the lake, alone with Levi, sitting under the stars, holding his hand, and having that talk they really did need to have.
Did he ever think about their night together? Did he care? Because when he looked at her, she’d swear he did. But was that only her foolish heart seeing what she wanted to see?
Because she definitely wanted to see stars in Levi’s eyes. She wanted him to look at her and see everything he’d ever wanted.
Was he instead looking at her and wondering if his baby grew inside her? Not that she knew the answer.
She hadn’t bought a pregnancy test. Not yet. Mostly because if she was pregnant, she hadn’t wanted that knowledge influencing how she reacted to him tonight.
Not that she’d expected him to show up in a limousine, wearing a tux, delivering a single red rose.
Red for love?
Ha. She wished.
Yes, she did wish. And wish. And wish.
Her gaze sought where he stood with the older version of himself. Physically at any rate. She hadn’t spent much time in Jonathan Fielding’s company, but she hadn’t decided if she liked the man or not. On the surface, sure, he was a charmer and had certainly flirted outrageously with her at the center one evening when Levi had grudgingly introduced them. Grudgingly because he’d almost immediately called his father’s attention away from her and both men had left the center.