A Life Plan Without You.

by Christine Wood

  “I waited for him at the college gates for a couple of weeks, he couldn’t see me, but I had my eyes on him, he’d disappear into the park and hide in the bushes, I couldn’t suss why, perhaps to wait for the bigger lads to go? I never saw any looking for him, but continued to watch. I caught him climbing a tree and wondered what he was doing. It took a few weeks for me to actually work out what he was actually doing. Given the amount of people who peel through the gates at home time, it wasn’t an easy job, and given you share it with your old school, it’s a busy alley. You though were always there laughing joking and wow playing hockey.” He had seen me playing hockey, dancing what else had he seen me do?

  “After Christmas was interesting, I have to say that was when, I really noticed you and this sexy backside, though I didn’t know it belonged to you at the time, it was on a girl playing hockey, especially cute and noticeable because of the get up she came out in, all that padding and the face mask.

  She took her mask off after a game and I was amazed that it was you, you were shop girl, dancing girl! That arguably became a deserved perk of the job, seeing you and this bum!

  Now hopefully I get the whole package, you, the looks, those legs, this bum and cold wet interesting boobs and yep that sounded crude I know, but hell baby you are too hard to resist.” His hand was now on that bum and his thumb was hooked on my waistband.

  “Are you copping another feel back there, Stalker Sam?”

  “No, just keeping my hands warm, by the way you’re very good at keeping the ball out too.” I wanted to say something witty in reply to that little, double entendre.

  “There’s no ball passed my goal, yet.” He got my best carry on stare. His eyebrows rose. Yes, I was untouched and I wonder if he knew that’s what I meant?

  “Don’t freak, on that one either, Jimmy had football practice and it was on the same field. Just to explain, I was watching him play football, honestly I was.” He laughed and jumped back as I went to push him away.

  “So, you have seen Karen too she plays as well.” He actually frowned, I had a smug moment he didn’t like Miss Perfect?

  “Does she? It wasn’t her I was interested in.” Oh lord that smile as he looked at me, I melted. “I’d promised Mum I would watch out for him. Please keep in mind she thought there was fighting involved. Even though I didn’t see any fighting, he was still coming home with dirty clothes. He was watching you and your mates I actually, have seen you and your friends an awful lot, walking home from your busy day studying; it was on one of these stakeouts that I first saw you doing the dance. I still hadn’t put the pieces together, not until he climbed the tree and I watched him, to see who he was watching.

  That day came a month later, at the end of February-ish, shit the weeks all seemed to meld into each other. You and your mates had all come and gone their separate ways and Jimmy had given me the slip, I was too busy watching you. Then about three weeks later, after spotting him up that tree again, you came out carrying a massive basket thing and he jumped down.” I’m shocked, yet again.

  “It was my cookery basket and that was in March. I’d had my practice for an exam and I’d gone back to get my stuff, he’d eaten my exam food that day to, the cheeky sod.” I started to shiver.

  “Are you cold, Mi cielo?” He hugged me tighter, loving these hugs.

  “No please, carry on Sam.” I’m listening to him, waiting for him to get to the why me part.

  “He jumped down after you’d left the building. He watched you and he followed you, he was watching you all the time and walking in the park, whilst you walked along the top path. Did you really not have a clue?”

  “No I didn’t Sam. I thought he might like me, but I didn’t like him like that. He’s just Jimmy who was my friend at school and my partner in ‘cooking for idiots,’ a very apt for James, the course and the title, he’s a firkin idiot, it’s a scheme they have at college, we cooks teach the ones who want to cook more than beans on toast, for themselves when we go to uni next year, though James has been my cooking partner for years, he didn’t need to be on it, he was taught by me and he is already a perfect good basic cook, being I’m sooo good at what I do.” I laughed as Sam’s arms cuddled me closer and his eye brow rose, he sighed.

  “Really, in everything you do baby?”

  “I’m good at what I do, yes really Sam… Back to James… He did sort of worry me sometimes, by just staring at me all the time, he even did it all through school, but he was just nice Jimmy, who was my friend. Explains why now, shit you two, why didn’t you just ask me out, sheisk, stalking’s kind of weird Sam.” A kiss and hug made it better.

  “Well, I may have done it sooner had I realised your kisses were this nice.” He leaned in and wow the kiss was… Wow, I’m seeing stars now. “He hasn’t done it since that day, if that’s any help?”

  “Not really, but how do you know he’s stopped, has he stopped? God he has stopped hasn’t he?”

  “He’s fallen out of a lot of trees watching you, Michelle, but that was his last one, I promise.” Yet more gentle kisses, each one better than the last. I felt so close to him. Can there be such thing as love at first sight, Sam seems to think so, and well I’m in lust with him after that first kiss? I certainly felt so connected to this man by my side.

  “Anyhow back to my tale, theses kisses are side-tracking my tale, I caught up with him, I was angry with him following you. Especially now I’d fallen for his Michelle, I didn’t realise until that minute you were the same girl. So I asked what he was doing, he said he’d been playing football, and had fallen over. Was that after you climbed that tree? I asked him, he went white and stammered, that’s my Michelle. I oh-ed and realised I’d fallen for his Michelle, and as I watched him watching you, I got jealous, I knew who you were, thanks to Madam Cyn, I just didn’t know you were the same Michelle he loved and was watching, I thought it was the blonde Michelle! I flipped, gave him a speech about it being creepy, and I advised him to stay away or say something to you, I gave him some time to do it too, all be it I kept a bloody eye on him making a move on you!

  I frog marched him home asking what encouragement you’d given him? He said none at all you just thought he was a friend and you liked someone else. I was a little relieved you hadn’t encouraged him, I was a bit jealous if truth be told, you liked someone else and I hadn’t a clue who! I didn’t want to hurt my brother, but I’d had my mind made up for me two weeks ago, when all this rush stuff came to ahead and I knew he would ask you but I would ask you first and yes, I chickened out again, I didn’t want you to say no.

  I’d fallen for you and far deeper than Jimmy, I’d threatened my own brother if he didn’t leave you alone. I guess he knows why I did it now.” He looked nervously at me. “This is going to sound really creepier than the other stuff but please let me finish?” I nodded. “So, to make sure I’d told him I would continue to watch him. So best he went the quicker way home in future, he hasn’t followed you since that day, but that day I became the stalker, I’d already fallen for you.” I smiled.

  “So you started watching me instead of him, then?” He looked worried.

  “Yes, just me then but, if truth be told I have seen you and watched you for months, bloody hell I sound bad, but I’m not I swear, it wasn’t like that Michelle, I had to make sure he wasn’t still following you and to make sure he knew I was still watching him. I had to say, I was a little interested in finding out what our fascination with you was, why I had the strongest feelings ever, for a girl I had never spoken to and only watched from afar for so long.

  I fell in love with the notion of being like you, carefree and happy, I wanted you in my life to help me change, and stupid as it sounds you being in my life has changed it and for the better, but actually having you here I can’t believe it, and your kisses are worth all the freezing and wet days I’ve had to watch my idiot brother fawn over you. Get me I was the older Idiot brother fawning over you too.” He said that laughing as I punched his side and he conti
nued laughing as he held my hand.

  “Continue please I want to get to the interesting bit.” He frowned. “Oh, please do carry on it seems, I’m about to choose the wrong brother.” His face lit up, his eyes almost sparkling as he let out a deep and long sigh.

  “So you are going to pick me then?” I’d already decided yes seven wonderful weeks ago, without the kisses, let him suffer a while longer two more minutes isn’t going to hurt him.

  “Explain why me? Now that you have, I think explained the very simple question that started this entire conversation off… How did you know where l lived?” He blushed. “So, you stopped tailing me when?”

  “Erg… Well… I haven’t… Not… Well, really I… I don’t follow you everywhere and not every day, just on my way back from uni I watch you, if I’m lucky you’re playing hockey. Without spooking you, I was and I am hooked and for the love of Mike, I didn’t know why? I still don’t properly it’s not as if we’ve spoken or anything. There was and there is, just something about you… Your just fun to watch and be around, sorry near...” He laughed nervously and hugged me tighter.

  “I’ve been watching you in dance class too, which I started by the way, after watching you dance down the alley, I started classes hoping I could perhaps use this dancing lark as a way to get to know you, I guess that worked?” I nodded! “I waited for some clue, to see if you could be interested in me, you know when I changed shoes, before class watching you? I sort of hoped you would just talk to me, but the smiles and the sneaky peeks from the back stairs had me convinced you liked me a little bit, you did watch me a lot, didn’t you? Talking of which, why did you run off crying last week? I was coming to see if you were alright, but Lee picked you up and danced and all seemed right with you?”

  “You saw me crying? I thought I was so ninja like in my stalking you, you it seems do it better than me Sam! Oh lord really, you want to know why?”

  “Really I do!”

  “If you must know, I’d just seen you and Lana dance together and wished it was me you were dancing with like that, I wished they were my eyes you were looking into. Shit Sam talking’s a two way thing and I really thought you were with Leggy!

  I was however a tad delusional; yes I really did think I could perhaps get you to notice me using my wittiness and my stunning repartee! I lived in high hopes that you would then hopefully want to be with me and I could win you away from her, but really I didn’t think I stood a chance because she is stunning and way more worldly than me.

  I was convinced that you and she were… Err… Shit at it and you and her were getting down to it, and that was before I saw you two dance the Argentinian Tango and boy watching you both nearly have sex on the dance floor, put an end to my stupid fantasies and I ran upstairs heartbroken and well I was going to talk to you tonight I’d decided I was giving you one chance to talk to me too and then moving on if nothing happened. So I had decided to stun you with a simple hello, I guess falling at your feet worked?

  Yes, I noticed you stop grinning, and now you know how long I have been lusting after you Sam, and now I’ve told you how I feel, so feel free to laugh at how wrong I was! You could have walked up to me seven weeks ago and I would have said yes…! Who’d have thought it, that I did win you over with my wit, humour, charm and simply looking like a mong learning a dance? I’m glad you found a way in, I think you can say your plan worked…” Lots of grinning done on his part, so I was wrong he was building up courage, but why he doesn’t strike me as the shy type of a guy? We’ll have to wait and see.

  “Really you thought Lana and I were doing the deed? Oh hell no, I’m not her type Michelle. She likes them tattooed and hairy! She lives with a biker and has been with him since she was fourteen, the nick-names she gets are so unjust, yes she likes to flirt and be friendly, it just so happens too that most of her friends are male, who all fall for her and it’s never reciprocated.

  Men do want her you’re right and girls are intimidated by her good looks, as you said earlier! By the way you lied when I asked did you like her? Michelle Welles you were almost certainly did not like her and were jealous of her, but you’ve no need to be jealous of her and me at all! Poor Lana can’t even get the children she teaches to like her!

  They really hate her, but then she’s not overly fond of them either, she’d had enough a couple of weeks ago in the class before mine; she flipped her lid and asked Lee to take over her class of nippers! He was booked, so she suggested you, she said you were a better teacher than Ellie in her opinion; you were good and seemed to like kids! She likes you a lot she says your sweet and you love kids and furry animals and someday hope to strive for world peace, once I told her I liked you she went into selling you like you were the next Miss World, funnily enough Lee didn’t take any selling at all, he was already giving you the class on Friday, that’s why I knew you’d be there early, that’s in case you were wondering what I was doing there when you got in, your face was a picture!” I was stunned!

  “She’s not at all like I thought she was, gheeze I have her to thank for my class and here’s me thinking she was a loose woman, mean and up her own posh rich arse and in love with you!” He laughed as he talked about his old friend.

  “Her massive kind and friendly heart, belongs to her beloved Jonnie, who she calls Sugar Daddy, because he’s just a month older than her, they were both in my class at school! She should change his name or stop saying the crap she does, because people really think she has a real life one. I suppose he is rich they both are they own the big bike shop on Stockton Industrial estate she is an accountant and shit hot at figures, she doesn’t teach at the school either she helps her disabled sister in class! Jonnie, he’s a cool guy and he taught me to ride a bike!

  I’m glad to know you thought I dance well, sexy works for me too! I will ask Lee to put a record on and I will show you how sexy I can be with the right dance partner, I’m humbled that you think I’m a good dancer I may have watched you dance a little too, and the dancing you did tonight was pretty damn near on professional!”

  “Really she’s damn near Mother Teresa and I thought she was a slutty woman of no morals, damn I was wrong about her and you! She’s really seeing a biker boy? Wow I got her all wrong, we all did it seems poor Lana, how come he doesn’t go to the presentations with her?”

  “He doesn’t do crowds, he’s all right if it’s less than a dozen, anymore and he freaks out, shouldn’t we be discussing us though?” More kisses given then realisation of tonight’s urgency, was it that Jimmy was there, to ask me out? Bummer for Jimmy…

  “Sam you said earlier it had to be tonight, so why is there this do-or-die-get-me- to-go-out-with-you-at-any-cost-urgency, having to happen tonight?” His arm wrapped tightly around me as he tried to explain why he needed to ask me tonight!

  “It seems Jimmy and a few others on a trip had seen you kissing and making nice with a mate of his, Michael I believe was his name? He and his other mate David, who had also seen you both snogging… Well… They apparently made you think he had done it all for a joke and it was a bet, am I right so far?” I nodded and sighed. Shit, I was devastated by that, I really did like Michael, and Sam knows I was making out with Michael.

  “Carry on please, I was just thinking could this chat couldn’t possibly get any more embarrassing after the bum and nipple thing and yes it can it seems, just tell me please.” Just half an hour ago, I had remembered that kiss, my head was going to explode, implode, whatever.

  “I don’t really want to, what if you choose him? Oh hell if I’ve shot myself in the foot so be it, but I won’t take it lying down baby, especially after these!” More kisses deep and passionate, these are the cherry on top a warm hot fudge sundae, no Sam I’m right where I want to be and with who I want to be too!

  “Michael was and is going to ask you why you hadn’t done anything about your kiss? He wasn’t part of their game and he didn’t know anything about it, he’s apparently infatuated too. Waiting for you to talk about it to
him, but you’ve not thankfully and he’s going to ask you on Monday why you hadn’t done anything?

  Jimmy was mad as hell and asked me what to do about it? He said that Michael’s next visit it college was in two weeks what should he do? I was stunned, that I might miss my chance and what with Jimmy and him both plucking up courage. I well, I had to ask you, but I don’t think I could have waited much longer anyway Michelle. Just watching you wasn’t enough anymore, I wanted to get to know you better, like this.” More kisses, as if I needed an excuse for more.

  “So I get a choice? My boyfriend drought is over, not one but three fellas, two fantastically hot men and your Jimmy? Sorry, all that wasn’t meant to come out, obviously the filters still broke?” Snapback Michelle, he looked worried, at that reply.

  “So yes, I had to get in first and with Michael about to make his move on you again on Monday; it was tonight or never, because Jimmy was there to do the same thing.” He sighed. “Michelle, have I done enough explaining to get the definite yes, and will you please consider going out with me?”

  Oh, it rather made a bit more sense now. Though date lines and times are a little blared, I had it seems been watched by Sam for quite a while. He did like me, but I still don’t know why though? I knew I liked him. He had been my secret admirer for months and before I even knew he existed, wandering again, Michelle snap out of it.

  “How did you know my birthday was in February?”

  “That one’s easy, Cynthia asked me if I’d got you a birthday card, did I know you were coming of age, she’s a one!” Of course it was.

  “That explained the sly wink when I asked about you, I sort of told her I liked you, damn it that woman normally can’t keep a secret either.”

  “Oh she was sworn to secrecy, funny I half expected the lady to spill too. I hope you liked the card and flowers, with my message?”

  “What card? What flowers, what message? ‘Meet me by the dance floor I need to ask you out!’ That message?”