A Life Plan Without You.

by Christine Wood

  She looked deep into my eyes and smiled, wow she was troubled and the girl at her side was smiling, shit not here not tonight please go away. Sam was behind me with his strong arm around me and as he held me the girl smiled and disappeared, wow the others were here, why?

  “Sit yourself down, Karen.” She didn’t just say that? Perhaps because I’m going to commit murder, that’s why the others are here?

  Why did she do that she knows she is called Michelle she didn’t stop saying her name all afternoon and smiling, shit Michelle looks damned annoyed, crap…

  “Mum, this is Michelle?” She looked puzzled.

  “Sorry, I could have sworn you said you were bringing your girl to tea Sam?” What did she just call me?

  “Mum and I have Michelle, my girlfriend is called Michelle and remember Mum I told you her name this morning?” He was so embarrassed and visibly upset at her calling me Karen, no anything, anyone but her. He could see the rage in my eyes, had they done it already? Had sex? Had she been here too? Had they been together? An item? Please God no, what was happening? What was going on? My head swimming with questions, and I needed them answering.

  “I’m so sorry, really I am.” He looked like a Roe Deer caught in the headlights and he looked so very confused. This was getting stranger and stranger by the minute. I thought he was going to cry. Nope, that would be my next step.

  “I’m so sorry, really I am. Sit here I will help Mum with tea, please sit I will explain everything later, I promise!”

  I go to get the tea things, or is it supper? I’m clunking the plates and things on the tray!

  “Mum why did you call her Karen? I told you she was called Michelle!”

  “James said on his way out you were bringing Karen instead of Michelle and you have a few girls on the go and not to mess their names up!”

  “No Mum I am just with Michelle only her and not to worry James is the one who got it wrong, never mind, this looks lovely, you even made sausage rolls, great Mum you haven’t done those in ages!”

  “I remembered you liked them, she looks pretty have you seen her eyes Sam aren’t they sparkley and blue?”

  “They are Mum and yes she is pretty and shy too!” We go back in and Michelle looks a little lost and upset!

  “Thank you Mrs Todd.” She smiled at me.

  “Oh call me Emma dear.” Then she shot Sam a look.

  “Karen…? That was the name Jimmy mentioned as your date for tonight, that was the name, I’m sure it was Karen? Yes it was Jimmy, he said you were called Karen, and you’re not, your called Michelle, Sam told me that, silly James I will put him over my knee, he’s never too big for a smacked bottom!”

  “Mrs Todd, err sorry Emma, she’s a friend of ours from dance class, I’m sure that’s perhaps how Jimmy got our names so confused, sorry but James Robert, isn’t the sharpest pencil in the box when it comes to remembering girls names, he doesn’t listen and is in dream land most of the time, well he was at school, so don’t you let it worry you, this looks nice, shall I play mother? You look a little tired you needn’t have gone to all this trouble the cup of tea would have been enough...” I hoped that it was nothing more. Jimmy’s stupid game, it wasn’t just hurting me anymore, what’s he up to? I didn’t know if to laugh or cry, but the stress had drained from Sam's beautiful face and he let out a cute laugh.

  “Good job you’re not the jealous type Michelle, please yes can you poor, my wrist is hurting a little!” She’s relaxed a little; she really is a sweet woman, so obvious where he gets his impeccable manners from, I need to put her in a better state of mind, she’s drifting and pancaking. Why will Sam shout at her, has he shouted? The girl is back and is smiling as she shakes her head. No and off she goes! I bite into the sausage roll and wow…

  “Really it’s fine and no I’m not the jealous type at all! I am very jealous of these sausage rolls, oh Emma they really are good! Wow did you make them yourself? Sheisk is that why you hurt your wrist, because mine kill when I do it in college too? Puff pastry this good must have taken you hours. Oh wow can I be greedy and have another? I haven’t got anything to be jealous of besides this pastry! Oh boy Sam get one before I eat the lot!” Nevertheless I was a very jealous cow now I had Sam, and now was thinking of a suitable punishment for when I see Jimmy on Monday. A flipping knee to his mid-wicket area. If that is, Sam hadn’t done it before then? Drinks drank and sandwiches eaten, she rifled information out of me, all about my family and friends.

  She smiled all the way through our chat; it was as though we had a sort of weird connection? Like I knew her, the others had been here too, helping me, oh heck this seems impossible I know, but it was there was a strong bond between us, I don’t know why, but I had the strangest feelings about her, have we met before? Impossible because her sweetness I would have remembered, and the girl to her side I have never met before at a meeting, sheisk why does this feel like it’s a fate thing? Impossible that it’s happening to me this time, they don’t come to help me they come to help others? There’s that word again flipping heck I know that everything about Sam and I being together was strange, and meeting his mother was like it was meant to be?

  She and I have that strange something going on thing, the only time I had this feeling before of this closeness was when I first saw my first ‘other’ come and talk to me, that was when my Great Grandma Lilly died and I sat and spoke to a man I had never seen before. Uncle Joe sat and listened as I chatted to the man, me thinking he could see him too. The other man it seems was my Great Grandad David and he had come to fetch my Aunty Lilly Beth’s mum, who was sleeping in the bed I was sat on.

  He told me too she would be so very sad for a very long time but me and my sister would help her, as would my brother! I laughed at him because I didn’t have a brother just Becky and she was just my stupid crying little sister, silly man. He patted Aunty Lilly on her shoulder and she woke from her sleep, he kissed Aunty Lilly’s head, then he smiled as he reached for Great Grandma Lilly’s hand and said to me as they smiled, her time was now and she had to leave her and I was to tell her, thank you she was a wonderful daughter and that I was to use my gift wisely to help others, he also said I was a very beautiful and special.

  I was her first Great Granddaughter and because I was, I was considered special, my gift was given to me to hold by my Great Grandmother Lilly, she had given it to me as she passed over, as one day I would also do the same, a day way in the future I would be like this and I too would give it to my great granddaughter my gift to hold, when I passed! I laughed and said he was silly, I was only five did he not know that I wasn’t as old as my Great Grandma Lilly?

  Then Great Grandma Lilly spoke to me, which was strange, all my life she had been asleep and she had never spoken in all that time, she smiled and said my gift wouldn’t be there to help me, it was for people who needed me. Then I was to tell Aunty Liz there was a letter in the bible by her bed. Wow then the shit hit the fan as they walked off together; the young man and the young woman held hands and looked happy.

  Aunty Liz though was so upset as the man said she would be, they both turned and said my first love would be my true love! Yeah like I knew what a love was at five? So yeah for me the rainbow sherbet really my first and true love then? Uncle Joe helped Aunty Liz to bed and I was placed next to her, that was when she stopped being Aunty Lilly, she changed her name that night, I was then to call her Aunty Elisabeth or Liz, she didn’t care but it had to be anything other than Aunty Lilly Beth.

  In the morning Uncle Joe he remembered me saying there was a letter in a bible and Aunty Lizzy wept for ages as she read it, and when I told her what the man said and showed her that that was him in an old photograph that was in the bible. I was asked not to tell anyone about seeing the man and lady; if I did they would say I was strange and not like me, so I didn’t. I went instead with Uncle Joe for some of my first love, from their sweet shop downstairs and sat and ate the lot, I had free rainbow sherbet all day and a ton of liquorish wands,
erm after a lot of sherbet was eaten I decided sherbet and liquorish was not my first love… It made me sick… Shit I was in dream land again…

  Sam just listened and smiled, as his mum would touch my leg, then my cheek as she spoke, her soft voice so soothing and calm, she was such a nice woman. Her eyes though, they were tormented as too was her voice, she trembled when she heard a sound, when the floorboards creaked upstairs, she would become agitated? She would think before she said anything, perhaps thinking I would shout at her? Sam often jumped in to answer a question I had asked of her, she’d smile and then touch me again, like she couldn’t get enough of me?

  I waffled on and on about college and cooking, dance and my grandparents, then she yawned, I was that interesting! She apologised because she was tired and had a headache, so I carried the tray through to the kitchen and helped her with the pots, where we did some more talking, she is a very timid and shy woman and there’s lots troubling her, but I like her very much. We sat back down when I had finished, I gave my fella a kiss to his cheek he looked like he needed it, it must have been worrying him that we wouldn’t get on, hahaha well we did, so stop worrying! Sam sat grinning like a fool. It seemed to be a big thing for him that we had bonded, and then I realised… Had I just passed the Mummy Test?

  “Michelle it really was nice to meet you, I’m off to bed I have a bit of a headache still. Your dad arrived home after you left Sam and is out for the count in his bedroom hopefully for the night? So you’ve got the place to yourselves for a while.” I gave her a quick kiss on her cheek. She liked the kiss and her hand rose to where I’d kissed her cheek.

  “Will you come and see me again Michelle? I’d like that, very much. It’s been so nice to meet you.”

  “It’s been really nice to meet you too. Thanks for having me and for the tea and I hope your headache goes, sleep well Emma. I can come anytime you want.” I smiled. What had tonight got in store for me? Doctors and patient perhaps, I giggled, that would be good. Sam saw his mum up to bed and came down the steps four at a time.

  God I love her, I smile, as I take mum to bed, and she takes her tablets, she looks at peace almost.

  “I like Michelle she’s nice, please go back down I can get myself dressed for bed, look after her Sam, she’s a keeper, so pretty so kind.” She smiled and looked so happy.

  “I intend to Mum I really like her and well now you like her too, I think I will keep her, night Mum and thank you sleep tight!” I gave her a kiss and shut the door, bounding down the stairs to get to my woman and do us some fooling around before the idiots get back! She is sat relaxed on the chair feet up and hugging her legs grinning.

  “Something tickle your fancy?” He smiled.

  “No… Well not since a little earlier, now that really tickled parts of me, including my fancy.” He moved his head to one side. He was studying me, and then he smiled then leant in for a kiss.

  “Thanks for doing that, I know it must have been awful for you, but Mums not been well, hence spending time here tonight, I don’t like her left too long on her own. Now let’s see about finding your ticklish spot, I’m quite looking forward to the adventure, Mi cielo.” My man is a Mummy’s Boy. Sweet, but is he just too perfect? Umm, Grams always says a man who looks after his mother is a good one you should keep.

  “You’re, welcome, well, it was different, your mum is nice, but the Karen thing was erg, a little awkward and I’m now going to kill Jimmy when I see the little shit, fancy him doing that to your mum? She looked so embarrassed and you looked a bit erg like, shit Michelle’s going to spew. What’s his game angel?”

  “He found out we were an item and he’s livid, well totally freaking out, would have been a better word.” The grin across Sam’s face said it all.

  “You couldn’t wait to tell him then?” I was the one laughing now, oh and blushing.

  “No, because I’d waited long enough for yesterday and I wanted him and everyone to know you are mine, just mine and off limits. That’s all right isn’t it?” His smile was cute. He put a record on and sat on the rug, his back was at the foot of the chair I’d snuggled comfortably in, making myself at home.

  “Yes I’m just yours Sam.” He smiled that killer smile of his.

  “So, what’s on top of your to do list then Mi cello? Making me a drink?” Think again Samuel.

  “Oh so not funny, just for that I’m off, night.” I made a feeble attempt to go.

  “Don’t go please stay?” He was laughing at me again because he knew damn well I wasn’t going anywhere. I sat back down.

  “Back to the list, what exactly was on it again Michelle?” I pulled his head back and kissed him gently on his neck. Small and slow pecks, up his neck then onto his chin, following his jaw I kissed my way to his behind his ear. Kissing the spot behind and whispering his name into his neck, as I kissed him again. Sucking on the ear lobe, I kissed all the way back to the other kissing behind the ear again, sucking gently on the lobe, and laying kisses across his face, my nose gently stroking his nose with mine, gentle Eskimo nose kisses, he sighed.

  I bit his bottom lip gently, pulling it between my teeth and letting it fall, his groans let me know I was doing this right. My lips touched his lips for the gentlest of kisses and my tongue began searching for his, this was nice. I put my hands down the front of his open shirt, playing with his chest hair and umm a twist of his nipple, they were soft beneath my fingers and he let out an almighty sigh. My kisses found the now hardened nipples; I had been playing with tweaking and flicking. I then gently suckled on them in turn, he groaned and as I let the last nipple playfully plop from my mouth, he sighed again my feverish onslaught of his lips began. My tongue stroking the wall of his mouth, searching out his tongue. The kisses are more passionate, our tongues darting in and out of each other’s mouths. The rhythmic pace I set, he matched move for move, groans of pleasure from the both of us. I broke free after an age and I’m thinking he’d enjoyed the kiss… As I broke away from his lips, his eyes opened and they were begging for me to continue the assault on his lips.

  “You Michelle have an amazing to do list. Now get your bum down here.” I slithered into the space at the side of him. His hands ran up and down my thighs then, whoosh funny feelings throughout my body. Some alien yet, some are repeating themselves again, other new feelings added in all the time. Different parts of my body crying for his attention at the same time.

  His arms are around my waist, I’m still kissing him, and my hand had found his soldier and he’s standing to attention, what to do? I covered it with my hand and slowly begin to rub the already hard area. Massaging it, he was groaning and it was growing. I pushed him flat on his back, sending the chair to block the front room door, handy if anyone comes in unannounced. I moved and I lay on top of him, all the time his hands wandering my back, searching for the hem of my top. He placed his hands under it, his hands now touching skin. Oh wow, a sudden rush of feelings exploded throughout my whole body, hot and needy, his hands moved to my side and he rolled me over he was on top of me. Pulling away from his lips I bit his bottom lip and pulled it smiling as I did and giving the top one the same bite and drop as the bottom.

  “Oh, no this is my list remember. No funny stuff… Yet.” He, I think was a little miffed it hadn’t gone further, it has to be said I wanted more, loads more.

  “That was insane, you’re sure you’ve not done this before Michelle?” He kissed me and slid off to my side.

  “No, that’s a definite no Sam, I must just be a quick learner.” The kisses were nice from Michael, but not as nice as those. The record had finished, he got up and turned it over. He turned looked down at me sat cross-legged on the fireside rug. I stood replaced the chair, as he grinned.

  “Fancy making me that drink now? For some strange reason I’m parched.” He got my best Paddington Bear stare.

  “What did your last slave die of then?”

  “Oh, that’s easy she didn’t, I traded her in for a younger model.”

 
“You really are a cheeky sod, come on then show me were stuff is.” His arm got a slap for that.

  “What, you’re actually going to do me a drink?” He looked shocked and worryingly puzzled at my reply.

  “Yes, and then we talk, just talk Sam. We both have questions and me more than you, I think?”

  “Okay baby, the kitchens is this way Madam, as you know from earlier, the coffee and stuff are here, cups in there and milk is in the big white thing.” I curtsied. I had my hand on his bum I passed him.

  “What does Sir want to drink?” He smiled, then laughed I was actually making him a brew.

  “Coffee two please.” I don’t think he’s looking forward to question time.

  “Is that black or with milk Sir?” He’s laughing again.

  “With milk and stop with this Sir stuff please, you’re not in work now.” I made myself a tea.

  “Future reference I take mine black strong with no sugar because I’m sweet enough.”

  “You’re right; you are absolutely sweet Mi cielo. What, do you want to talk about?” He placed his arm over my shoulder. “As if I don’t already know. Now let’s sit and get this out of the way Baby girl.” I headed for the sofa as he sat right at the side of me.

  “Any closer Sam and you’ll be on my lap.”

  “That’s my aim, and I always, always aim to please you Mi cielo, always. Now fire away let’s get the questions started but don’t be upset at the answers you get. My past is just that my past, ok? Before you, I wasn’t an angel, far from it in fact, but I promise things have been so different, since you danced into my world.” He sat back and drank his coffee. I turned and put my feet in his lap, so that I could see his face, yep nice. If I copped a feel, well that was a bonus. He looked nervous and yet happy, his eyes were looking straight into mine and he smiled, he licked his lip and took a sip of his coffee, wow even watching him drinking from his mug turned me on.