A Life Plan Without You.

by Christine Wood

  “You ready for college tomorrow?” He smiled.

  “No. I want to leave now but Mum won’t let me.” I laughed.

  “I’ve exams Monday, Tuesday, hockey Wednesday and another Thursday, so I think I want to leave too.” He congratulated me.

  “What would that be on exactly?” He grinned.

  “Apparently your new name’s Rocky?” I smiled I really thought he had said something.

  “Don’t forget it Jim Bob!” He disappeared as Sam came to help he had his arms around me.

  “Something smells really good in here, good enough to eat even.”

  “Funny Sam, I hope it is, are Kim and Teddy in, they are very quiet?” They were.

  “Do you need any help?” I pointed to the meat.

  “Slice it please.” I finished everything off, hoping the puddings were as good as they looked. Jimmy had set the table and Sam and I put the, dishes on the table. I’d plated Emma two dinners up. I shouted for the rabble to come to the table. They came to eat, laughing and joking whilst we ate. Mainly about me, my fat lip and my new name… Rocky. I loved being with them. Lunch finished and a drive to see Emma. Andy followed with Zoë in a taxi I think they are keeping us apart for some reason? We arrived at the hospital with dinners in hand.

  “Can I use the microwave in the kitchen to zap this for Emma please?” The nurse had a look.

  “Yes of course you may, do you know how to work it? I don’t think she will eat all that, she doesn't have a great appetite, but she needs to be eating and soon. Are you her daughter Michelle? She raves on about you all the time.” I smiled.

  “Yes, I’m her son’s girlfriend, she and he think if they say it enough it will happen. Yes, I know how to use the microwave Sister and if she only eats a little, we will be happy. Thanks and oh she has another for later, if she is still hungry?” The sister smiles and looks over at them.

  “Which one of them is yours? All her sons are good looking.” I laugh and point at Sam, um... Even a nurse is ogling him, she is right they are all nice to look at. I gave Emma her dinner, and she ate every bit. Sam and Aunty chatting away, me? I sat on the end of her bed, watching them. Sam cleared her plate away as the nurse came to the bed.

  “Did you manage to eat anything Emma?”

  “I did thank you, I could eat it all again.” The nurse smiled and gave me the thumbs up at Sam. I smiled because I’m seriously thinking more about marriage especially after these last few days…

  “Are you going to be able to eat well, at home?” I laughed this was going to shock the lot of them.

  “Yes, I‘ll be doing the cooking, well until Emma is well enough to do it for herself, I will fill the fridge with things for her to snack on whilst I’m at college too.” Aunty joked, and the boys just smiled.

  “I’m moving in too then.” I was in smug mode, I loved cooking and appreciated the complements Sam hugged me tightly and kissed the back of my neck.

  “Sam has taken a week off to look after you too. I will come when classes have finished, and spend time with you so you’re not on your own, and get you built up again, we need to put some meat on them there bones.” She liked that.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, at home at tea time Emma.” Kisses and hugs given before Aunty dropped Sam and I of at my house.

  “Thank you for a lovely meal and for what you’re doing for Emma, Michelle. I, sorry we love having you in our family.”

  “I love being part of it too, we will sort her out together please don’t worry anymore we will sort it all out, everything.” I kissed her cheek and hoped she knew I meant Dennis when I said everything! She sped off, as if she was in the Grand Prix. “You need to grab your things, I’m sure they’re all washed and ironed.”

  “Thanks for looking after Mum tonight and offering to be our cook, should I get you a little maid’s outfit Mi cielo?”

  “Erg, right seeing me butt naked doesn’t do anything, but getting me an outfit will do it? Well hell yes in a size ten please! It’s my pleasure to look after her and you, you know I love cooking why wouldn’t I help you out my nearly fiancé? Is Jimmy back too? He’s a lot nicer when he’s at Aunty Allison’s, don’t you think?” He slowly nodded.

  “I hadn’t thought about it really, but your right. He was nice to you today, my nearly fiancée, who is going to look kind of kinky and hot in the black and white number, feather duster too?” We laughed as he leant in for a kiss.

  “The Rocky thing made him laugh, get in I will sort your things out. Do you want a coffee?”

  “Please, I’ll go ask everyone else.” He popped his head in the front room.

  “Do you want a drink, Susan, Pat?” Mum smiled.

  “Please Sam.” Pat was getting up to leave.

  “I’ve told Susan about the weekend she has planned, isn’t it right Sam you’re having sex in a hotel at the weekend?” I was on my way in, when I overheard the comment, he was mad, she had pushed him and I as far as the nosey cow could.

  “What plans are these Pat?” Sam asked her, she looked like the cat that got the cream.

  “Manchester overnight, next weekend?” I smiled Sam looked worried he saw the look in my eyes, this was a wonderful way to end the weekend, she was having it both barrels of the gun this time, she’d pushed me too far…

  “Pat, as I said before keep your nose out of my business. In fact, we are yes, and having dinner and going to a few clubs in Manchester and as we can’t get back, we are stopping in a hotel for the weekend and making the most of it, if that’s okay with you? Then oh wait… It’s got sodding nothing to do with you, what I do and with whom I do it. Mandy couldn’t wait to tell you then?” She recovered from my barrage of abuse.

  “No, she didn’t say anything, Paul was asking Mandy if she fancied an overnighter like you and him, whilst they were in the kitchen and I overheard, the plans you’d made and came around to warn your Mother.” I’d had enough; good old Mandy hadn’t said anything it was Psycho Paul, but why?

  “Again Pat, it has nothing to do with you what I do. I’ll ask Dad to stop you coming here if your nasty mouth continues to meddle in my life. Really Pat you try the patience of a saint. As to me sleeping in a posh hotel, with him… Who’s got a name and it’s Sam, who is a nice, kind and generous man, one who just happens to love me.

  You need to worry more about Mandy, than you do about me and Sam! Psycho Paul her boyfriend, remember him, the nice catch she landed? Well Psycho Paul he got that name for a fucking good reason, he was expelled for hitting a teacher and putting him in hospital! That good catch she landed and is still seeing is a nutter and he suggested they have an overnighter too! Your daughter is out for the night with a lunatic where as I am out with my loving fella Sam? Look to sorting your own sodding house out first, before you bloody well comment on mine.

  My future husband Sam has promised my Father, whose is the only opinion I give a shit about, to look after me and he does all the time. I am serious, if she keeps bloody interfering I swear Mum, I’ll do something about it.

  It’s bad enough she just bloody well treats this house as her own and you flipping well let her, get a grip Mum, your better than her, miles better. She has a sad life, and brings her bile here, well not anymore you have said too much and done too much and I’ve had enough! I swear Pat; push my button one more time and you’ll be on that fucking fat bum before the next word is even out of your nasty mouth. I am not my fucking Mother, you will not tell me what I can do, and what I cannot do any more, are we fucking clear? No wonder your fucking husband left you sad bitch you’re one hell of a nasty controlling bitch, try controlling what you put in your fucking mouth as well as what you spew from it?” I left the room, Pat was fuming, mum wasn’t much better, but I felt great.

  “Now, Michelle is out of the room, I’d appreciate it is you kept your nose out of mine and Michelle’s life too Pat. Michelle deserves more than a roll around on the market stalls. That’s were Paul usually takes his girls, so I’m thinking you should perh
aps Pat, check Mandy’s clothes for splinters next time, because unlike Paul, I treat my girlfriend as she deserves and she gets the best.

  Please Susan, don’t let her poison you against Michelle, Michelle hasn’t done anything, and can I just repeat that for you Pat, Michelle, she is a wonderful and caring girl, who has done nothing to deserve this crap from you, Susan she has done nothing to give you any cause for concern.

  I have Michael’s permission for her to go too, she’s not just some cheap tart, she’s the girl I plan on marrying, if she says yes, her Father trusts her, try it Susan, try putting her first, not this gossiping old witch! She’s had to suffer years of abuse at her hands and you let her do it too, shame on you for allowing her to belittle and degrade her at every given chance, change how you are with her before it’s too damn late…” I walk out as Michelle comes back for me, that woman should have just kept it buttoned.

  “Let’s get your stuff Mister, I’m going to miss you, you’ve not been back home for nearly a week, baby. Thanks for washing Sam’s things Mum.” I shouted through and sat on the sofa in the in the back room with Sam, who gives me the nicest of hugs and kisses to my neck. My rant continued.

  “Why my mother puts up with her crap is beyond me? Mum knows we sleep in the same bed now, why didn’t she just tell her to get lost. Nice cup of tea and a coffee for Sir, coming right up.” I clonked around in the kitchen. Mum came in.

  “Michelle, that wasn’t called for she was just concerned...” I was angry now.

  “Concerned for what? Mandy sleeps with every fella and has been doing since the day she got the boobs and I mean every fella Mum, and on the bloody market stalls and in the bloody park shelters too!

  Do you honestly think I’m like that because I’m not? Why do you think that I’m not as good as Mandy? I’ll tell you why, Pats brainwashing you into believing that I’m not is your problem. You believe every word she tells you, when she doesn’t know what’s going on under her own sodding roof?

  Let’s get the facts out shall we, me vs Mandy. One; I would never entertain the market for sordid sex session she would and does and has done for damn years. Two: Sam would never hurt me hit me or make me feel bad about not putting out. Unlike Paul. Finally, three; When it happens, it will be in a loving way and in a nice place Mandy lost hers on the school field with a man old enough to be her Dad.

  I’m not some cheap tramp, turning tricks on Stockton bloody market. I discussed this with you I tell you stuff, I’ve told you everything and I don’t lie.

  Mandy goes out with a nutter who suggested they do the same thing she as just accuses me of, and this is the bloody thing Mum I find unfucking believable to understand! Why come here to tell you it’s wrong for me to be allowed to do it, when the same problems going on in her own house?

  I’ll tell you why should I Pat won’t tell you the reason she as to control me and my life, but I will… Mandy won’t listen to her, so she takes her spite out on me, and you, you allow her to bully me and badger me, she sees me as a replacement for her own daughter, who she can’t bully, and because she can’t handle her own kid she tries it on me! But I’m not some fucking kid anymore; I’m finished with being Pat’s punching bag both physically and mentally and Mother taking the crap you throw at me too when she tells you I need to be treated with a firmer hand, one more firmer hand and I snap...

  I’m all grown up and in love with a man who loves me, and respects me. Still you think so little of me Mother you think everything she says about me is true, when have I ever done anything to warrant you shouting, smacking, kicking or punching me. Mother you don’t know me at all, you never bothered to get to know me, you just hang off what she tells you, why I don’t understand, perhaps she is jealous of your life Mother can’t see it? She’s fixating on the wrong house, it’s hers that’s fallen apart, she’s just wrecking this one to match her own, and your allowing it to happen…

  Susan does fucking what to her daughter? Her own mother and the friend thump kick and smack her, my poor baby hides her pain well, but it makes sense of why she says dancing is her stress reliever. These two are responsible for all her insecurities, oh baby. I need to get her out of here, keep her safe and love her and comfort her, it seems she spends time with her grandparents for a reason, to be away from her mum and Pat. Well no more I need to protect her, and I will…

  “Sam and I haven’t done that, yet! I’m proud to say I’m a virgin, despite my best efforts to get Sam to do the deal; he loves me too much and respects me and Dad’s wishes. He wants to and needs to wait until we get engaged, which we will be doing soon. Are you listening you fat old witch, my finger will have a ring on it before I have sex.” I knew she was listening. “She feels the bloody need to jump in feet first, and yet again you stick up for her. It will be a cold day in hell and the camels in the dessert will be skating home, before I apologise to that old witch.” Mum went to hit me, Sam looked on in horror, he moved to save me but I waved him to sit down.

  “Do that Mum, and I’m warning you I will defend myself, I’m fed up of you hitting me and throwing stuff at me. Enough, just leave me alone, I’m bigger and a hell of a lot stronger than you and I will be telling Dad too, so don’t think I was joking about getting her banned from the house, he hates her fucking fat nosey arse, as much as I do.” She was still waiting in the hall listening, waiting for the non-existent, never coming apology. “Don’t let the door hit your fat nosey bum, on its permanent way out Pat, bugger off.” Mum followed her out apologising for me. I continued with the drinks and sat next to a very silent Sam, handing him is drink.

  “Sorry, I had a little bit of a Missy-fit in there really don’t know what came over me? Enough of her, she’s not getting her way here not anymore. Mum has been hitting and throwing things at me for far too long now, and finally thanks to you I can stick up for myself, I’m going to tell Dad too, how Pat has been with me, he will kill her for some of the things she has done over the years, when he gets in hopefully not too drunk.”

  “I didn’t know they both hit you, and I’m disgusted that your Mum even allowed it? We need to get you out of here, so I can look after you.” I smiled. He looked so worried about me and he just put his arm tightly around my shoulder.

  “She is always hitting me, she has a damn fine throwing arm, if I run. She's been known to hit me other stuff too, the other two get away with murder, it’s always me who has to take the blame, I’m the eldest I should know better, my bloody Mothers friggin mantra when it comes to justifying hitting me.

  I don’t hit her back because she’s my mum, but I’m past caring now, that’s the reason, for me wanting to leave and join the Royal Navy, to get away from her. I don’t want to leave you now, but away from here yes, and with you yes please.” His kisses are so needed, and as he pulled away, he said he’d look for somewhere. I packed his things in my gym bag, and went upstairs for his other things. I put them in too, then set the bag down and climbed on his lap, I buried my head in his chest and he held me, I felt safe and loved when I was with him, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the nape of my neck.

  “I love you, so much, Michelle. I could stop here all night with you, but you have to be up for college and I’m going to get Mum first thing, it seems, were getting married and a ring is being put on that finger after all Missy. We need a place for us to live and get us some sinful living done.”

  “Umm, it sort of slipped out I want to really want to. I just need to get everything over and done with at college and then yes, as I promised it’s a yes, definitely yes Sam.” I didn’t want to move, from the comfortable spot, the safe spot here on his lap, but I had to let him go, worst luck. I also had to get my things ready for college and wait for Dad to get back. I had my goodnight kiss and watched him as he left.

  What a nice end to a mixed weekend, the arguments we’ve have had have been so bad. Last night I thought we were through, Michelle is still hiding things from me, Janet said more than she is letting on about. I saw it in he
r eyes, but it must be to protect me, no other reason. Damn that bitch, my worst mistake ever. I need to put it behind me and look for things to make Saturday so special for my baby, a trip where? Blackpool, she loves her Gramps, I could take her there, borrow Auntie’s car and spoil her?

  You need to get your thinking cap on Sam? We could do the Castle thing, just we two. I can’t believe the feelings running through my stupid head, how could I even think about throwing this away, thank God she’s more understanding than I deserve! As if I needed more reasons to love her? In fact all weekend has been great, despite the traumas.

  She does something amazing every day, the Spanish was awesome, I have a feeling Aunty Jane was showing off and said something else? She speaks Italian, and Russian too, all places to take her so she can speak the language in the places she dreams of seeing. How she was with Mum today, they have that really special bond and I don’t know why? Mum relaxes around her, eats more talks more and is so much better having her around her. Argh Michael I had better warn him, he’s leaping into the fire.

  “Hello you two, watch it when you go in Pat has pushed Michelle’s biggest ever Missy-fit button, and she’s mad as hell, to say she is in a foul mood, is an understatement. Susan went to hit her and well she flipped, it took her a lot not to hit her Mum back, why does she do it Michael? Let that Pat woman shout abuse at her own daughter, she lets her punish Michelle too, as in actual smacks. Michael did you know that?

  I don’t think she will be doing it any time soon Michelle called her a fucking fat nosey bitch, and if she doesn’t mind her interfering gob, is going to be out on her equally fat arse, if she sticks her nose in our business again. She ranted at her for ages, she really let the nosey cow have it both barrels, and actually I thought the woman was going to have a bloody heart attack, well she had two dressings down I gave her what for too, she was so out of line calling Michelle, I flipped at her too.”