Immortal Suffering

by Shana J Caldwell

  He slowly retracts his fangs, his tongue running over them roughly; catching the drops of my blood. A low moan comes from his throat as it dissolves in his mouth; I force myself to look away. He probably thinks I taste like the slums I come from. We sit in silence; he slowly stands, still watching me. I wasn’t sure what came over me.

  “Are you leaving?” I ask; my voice soft, kind.

  “Do you need me to stay?” his voice is thick. I look away, back to the garden. I need to be alone; I have to think about what just came over me. God I was stupid. I let my guard down.

  “No. I’ll see you at dinner.” I don’t watch as he walks away; shutting the door softly behind him. I sag down in the chair, warmth spreading in my lower stomach. I growl at myself, I would not let myself be attracted to him.

  I stay silent as I watch the mushrooms, trying to dissolve the uncomfortable feeling of something similar to happiness that Kal left me with.

  Chapter 4

  Kalabhiti

  My mind swarms with darkness as I leave Ali to her own thoughts. I wanted to stay; not leave her side. A growl rips out of my throat; I could kill Cassidy for making her feel that way. A part of me suspects they’d had a run in with each other before. Cassidy revelled in Allison’s sadness, she enjoyed seeing her miserable.

  I felt responsible for her feeling that way, before I’d met her I saw her as another human; another food source. I couldn’t believe she was Cassidar’s descendant. Neither of them were similar; no inch of Ali was the same as my sweet Cassidar. Allison was rough all around; she didn’t have the luxury Cassidar did of this world.

  She was brave above all, when I first met her, those eyes shone with such raw power that I don’t think she even knows she has. And I knew; I knew she was the one I’ve been waiting for. It pains me to see her so broken, moving around my home as a ghost. Barely conscious of her surroundings. I never imagined she would give in so easily to the sadness.

  Her once plump face is now all angles, still as beautiful as ever though. She carries the guilt heavily on her shoulders; although she is very good at hiding it. But she is also human, and humans are vulnerable and easy to read.

  Her blood though—

  God her blood.

  It was the sweetest thing I have ever tasted; I can still feel the traces of it in my mouth. It had made me uncomfortably turned on; the shift in me was all I could sense in the room as she sucked her finger delicately; not taking her eyes away from me.

  I growl again, I can never put her in that situation. I will never give in to the urges that would force me to my knees in front of her. I am a King, I have to be strong. I think back to the conversation Zeke had with her, I’d heard the entire thing but I had acted like I didn’t. He’d returned to the room in a foul mood. Cassidy had used that to her advantage, stirred him up even more.

  I should have said something; I should have shut Cassidy up. I shouldn’t have let Ali walk away upset.

  I walk into my chambers, frustrated with myself. I have to bring Allison back, I have to guide her out of that darkness that has warped itself around her; she will be coming to dinner tonight. I should try to get her to open up more, I have to chip the wall away.

  These things took time. I had to remind myself that. If she chooses to stay human, I will be there to support her. I’d always linger for her human years, making sure she was okay and safe. Where was this protectiveness coming from?

  My mind lingers back to when she asked about her fangs, if she had them; what would she do with them? I cringe at the thought of ever having my fangs tampered with or broken, the pain would be unbearable. Surely she wasn’t foolish enough to do anything to harm herself, she was still human.

  I devour documents from the other vampire cities that are closer, they’ve heard of the vampire Queen’s descendent. I haven’t told Ali yet, I won’t burden her with that. I have to keep things light.

  They want to meet her, to see if the rumours are true. I growl at the thought of the other vampires looking at her like a science experiment, like a piece of flesh. I can’t trust their motives, a vampire Queen rising would make my city the most powerful one. I was currently a threat that needed to be dealt with.

  Chapter 5

  Allison

  I enter the dining room with light feet; I have chosen to wear something less moody and sad and something more wild. I don’t know how my mood had flipped after seeing Kal but here I was, almost humming to myself like a stupid love sick teen.

  I was in a pale blue silk gown; it barely hid my body underneath and reminded me of the vampire females I’d seen when I first arrived. I’ve pulled the front strands of my hair back and clipped them to the sides. The gown split at the sides of my thighs and exposed my legs as I walked; I’d tied a silk piece around my waist to act as a belt. My back was exposed, the front piece coming up and covering my breasts and tying around my throat. I’d stood staring at myself for the last half an hour, working up the courage.

  Now that I’m in the empty room I immediately have regrets, what was I thinking? I should have just worn long pants and a shirt, something casual. The table is overflowing with a roast pig and vegetables, the aroma in the air makes my stomach growl. I still had time to change, I wasn’t sure where Kal was or what he’d gotten up to after our moment. I wasn’t actively looking for him but he was nowhere to be seen. I keep my head down as I turn, the dress swimming around me; exposing my left leg. Someone clears their throat and I look up, mortified. Kal stands there in his usual black warrior suit, his eyes fixated on the exposed skin.

  “Um. Hi.” I say, trying to calm my nerves. A blush has stained my cheeks. I clamp my hands together behind my back, his eyes find mine.

  “You look lovely.” he says; his voice warm. I fight off a smile. Wasn’t that the point of wearing this though? I wanted him to compliment me, didn’t I?

  “Thank you, I guess we should eat?” I gesture towards the table; his eyes follow the length of my arm. He is making me extremely nervous. I feel like we’re on a date, I’ve never been on one before but I had no doubt it felt like this.

  “Of course.” He walks over to me, I stay still. He brushes past me, pulling out a chair. I take it politely; he pushes it in gently for me. He takes the seat across from me, I frown.

  “You’re not eating at the head of the table? That’s not very kingly of you.” As I begin to fill my plate with slices of pork and cooked potatoes, Kal pours himself a blood drink.

  “I don’t eat darling, I drink. I thought I’d give my King duties a rest tonight.” he sips it gingerly, studying me. I roll my eyes at him.

  “Well darling, you should try it some time. It’s exquisite.” I emphasise my point as I fill my mouth with pork. It’s warm and falls apart as I chew. He grins at me, rolling his eyes once.

  “Did you have a good day?” He asks. I begin to cut apart a potato. Dear God how I’d missed this food.

  “It was… interesting. Yourself?” I eat a few pieces of potato, watching him from my peripheral vision. He sips his drink again. I am beginning to feel full; my hunger strike had shrunk my appetite.

  “I could very well say the same.” we both feel the immediate tension in the air, he’s tasted my blood. I hadn’t had a moment that intimate with anyone since Xavier. I near choke at the thought of him. I couldn’t think about him. Not now.

  “Where did you go?” I ask, looking back to him.

  “Did someone miss me?” he asks cheekily, a gleam in his eyes as he grins at me. I cough once, the potato piece going down too fast.

  “You could only dream I’d ever miss you.” I say sassily, I was beginning to slowly feel like myself again. I couldn’t let myself become too familiar, but I could have fun. Right? For one night I’d love to forget about the mess I’m in and just enjoy myself. He swirls the blood around in his drink.

  “I think that’s what they call nightmares love.” I open my mouth, shocked. He is being so cheeky!

  “Well… well, I’m lucky I don’t
get scared easy then.” I huff; slightly flustered. He takes another mouthful, draining the rest of its content. I wonder if vampires can drink alcohol or if blood was like that to them.

  “If you can survive the presence of Dominic you can very well survive anything I’d say.” My mind flashes back to the white creature I’d seen. I hadn’t seen it since, I debate telling him. I hadn’t seen any sign of it again, and I was beginning to think maybe I’d imagined it. If I saw it again he’d be the first to know.

  “Ha. Very funny, Dominic is the least of my worries in this place.” I say slowly, focusing my eyes on my food; I’d already eaten half the plate’s worth I’d piled on. I can feel Kal watching me.

  “What do you mean?” I look back to him, my mouth twisted. He seems genuinely curious. How could I tell him? Not only was he one of the worries but I was myself.

  “I just have bigger things to worry about, like the vampire king and myself and whatever thing I have inside of me that is uncontrollable” I say quietly. He pours himself another drink, my eyes fixate on the red thickness as it pools in the glass. A part of me wanted to taste it, needed to taste it.

  “I can safely say the vampire king isn’t something to worry about, he’s rather harmless. But Ali, if you’re worried about yourself and that power, I really encourage you to take up my offer of training. I know it will be hard the first few times, it might not stop being hard, but I believe it would be good for you. It’s not far of a walk either.”

  “What do you mean it’s not far of a walk?” I place my fork and knife down, satisfied I’d eaten enough. I was curious as to where the training area would be, and who I’d be training with.

  “The training area isn’t in the castle, we do have a small one but it’s nowhere near as good. It’s behind the castle, a short walk through the forest in a large cement building.” I debate this, I’d never be able to walk alone because of that creature; I was far too vulnerable for that.

  “And who trains? Who would train me?” I sit back and rest my hands on my stomach, drumming my right hand over my left one. His eyes flicker to them before resting back on my face.

  “Zuriel, Zeke, Cassidy, Nardia and a few others you haven’t had the chance of meeting just yet. Who would you like to train you to start with? Usually they all train together but since you’re just a beginner you’ll get a personal trainer until you’re ready to merge with their group.” my stomach drops as he says Cassidy, I could handle Zeke but I wasn’t sure I could be strong enough to handle Cassidy.

  “Oh okay. Would you train me?” the last part comes out as a squeak; I know he’s probably up to his knees with king stuff to do but I’m sure he’d let up some time for me. I don’t think he really has a choice. He leans back in his chair, a smile tugging at his lips.

  “No not every vampire; the city has their own gyms. They’re my elite team, my strongest and most loyal and trusted warriors. They’ve been by my side for many centuries now. Although Nardia only has one eye she’s still as sharp as ever.” I wince at the comment, I was glad I wasn’t there when they did that to her. He continues, “You want me to train you?” he asks, amused. I frown at him.

  “It only seems logical; you’re the most powerful vampire in the city. I don’t want to be half assed trained and left not knowing how to actually fight. I know you’d show me everything and you could maybe even… teach me more about that thing I have?” I wouldn’t say power out loud; I couldn’t identify it as a part of me just yet.

  “You have a good point. You’d be in safe hands. Yes, I can do that if you wish.” I let a sigh out, relieved.

  “Thank you. What will the schedule be then? Like is it every day or what?”

  “We’ll start with small sessions every day, an hour at max. We don’t want to put too much strain on your body straight up. There will be others when we train, are you okay with that?” he asks, leaning his elbows on that table. I gulp; I didn’t want Cassidy to see how weak and clumsy I was.

  “Uh, I guess I have to be.” I whisper. He drains his glass quickly, he stands up and offers me his hand. I raise an eyebrow at it.

  “Let’s go have a look at it now, get you somewhat familiar with it before your first session tomorrow.” I take his hand politely as I stand up but let go to push my chair in. He gives me an amused smile; I give him a pointed look.

  “Lead the way.” I follow him through the castle; we walk through the small strip of garden and out through the tree arch and head towards the forest. I stay closer than usual to him; I was not becoming a human kebab for anyone tonight.

  Kal was right about one thing, the walk is short. A worn down path had been created between the trees, once we emerge on the other side my breath is taken away by the large stone building; it is surrounded by the trees, vines have made their homes in the cracks of the stones. Dim light shines through the cracks of the wooden door, the building has no windows.

  Before reaching the steps that led to the door I can hear others inside, talking and laughing amongst themselves. Kal gives me an encouraging smile as he opens the door and the room goes silent as I follow him inside. To my distaste Cassidy is here. The large rectangular room is padded with black mats, at the end a portion is sectioned off by two stripes of large red rope.

  Both walls were covered in weapons ranging from knives to clubs; I didn’t know what half of them were. Beside the door are six treadmills, a boxing bag sat beside one. The roof reaches high above me; covered in hundreds of little golden circle lights.

  “Wow, you managed to drag her out of the castle.” Cassidy says as she saunters over to us. Zeke avoids my eyes and stays holding the two knives. Zuriel is a blur as he runs to me; wrapping me in a hug and twirling me around. I’m more than aware of how much my dress just displayed. I giggle as he goes around, he was the only one that seemed like they were going to treat me the same. Once he puts me down my cheeks are flushed and I have a huge grin on my face. Kal is frowning slightly.

  “Oh how I’ve missed you my sweet little ally cat.” his hair is still trimmed on the sides with the top creating a curtain that falls and covers the right side of his face. He was still the same Zuriel.

  “I’ve missed you too.” I say, smiling like an idiot. I was so glad Kal persuaded me to train; I couldn’t wait to train beside Zuriel.

  “I’m surprised the King hasn’t made a meal of you yet.” he winks at Kal as he flexes his arms, the muscles rippling against his pale skin. Kal rolls his eyes.

  “If anything, I’d be the one ending up as a meal. She’s quiet vicious when she wants to be.” he says, grinning. I smirk at him; at least he’d been paying attention. I cross my arms over my chest; I could see why this room was only for his most trusted group, to work alongside one another while fighting in such a small space would require trust and precision. I was worried about how I would go with my… thing I had deep down.

  “Ali has decided she wants to begin training, so I’ll have the pleasure of preparing her until she’s ready to be handed over to you animals.” Kal grins as he says this, his gaze going to each one of them. I didn’t realise how much of a bond he had with them, and no doubt Nardia. Cassidy stares at me, her scarlet red lips are the only thing colourful about her; sweat glistens on her forehead. She was wearing a pair of black combat pants and a tight black singlet that exposed her slim but muscular body.

  “Why would you train her here with us? Why not take her into the city’s gym with the others. It’s not like she’s joining our team.” She says pointedly, raising an eyebrow. I bite the inside of my cheek, Kal looks to her.

  “And how would you know that?” He asks, his voice is on the edge of dominating. She doesn’t break eye contact, her eyes blazing.

  “She’s a human. We all know that’s what she’s going to choose at the end of the day. You can’t just pretend she’s a vampire and try and make her fit in. Because she won’t. I refuse to put my life and trust into a human girl who doesn’t even know how to fight. What side is she fighting for in
all of this?” She throws her hands in the air, pointing at me.

  “Regardless of what she chooses, she still deserves respect and the chance to learn. I don’t want to hear anything about this again Cassidy.” I take a step back; the vampire part of me wincing.

  “You’ve got to be kidding!” She exclaims. In a blur he has his hand wrapped around her throat. He snarls at her, his fangs ripping through the gums.

  “I said I didn’t want to hear any more of it.” his shadows begin to sweep around them; shackling themselves to her ankles. She stays silent.

  “Is that clear?” he threatens, I can’t look away. I’d never seen Kal so… angry before. She looks at me before diverting her eyes to the ground, a burning hatred in them.

  “Yes.” her voice is muffled by his hand. He lets go and steps back, his shadows swim around his feet.

  “I am your King; you have a tendency to forget that.” he says, his voice calm and clear. She stays silent. I had the tendency to forget that as well, I was a guest in his home. He had no idea what sort of person I was and nor did I. Zuriel leans down to me, his breath tickles my cheek.

  “Don’t worry about her. I’ll keep you safe if she becomes too much.”

  “Thank you, I might need it,” I whisper back. My eyes trail over to Zeke, he was now watching Kal and avoiding me. I couldn’t blame him, a part of me was still angry at him. I guess I should be angry at Zuriel as well; he was also a large influence in what happened. I zone back into the conversation. Cassidy walks back to Zeke’s side and takes a knife, they head towards the sectioned off area. Kal walks over to Zuriel and I.

  “Well that could have gone better.” Zuriel murmurs, looking towards Cassidy and Zeke. They begin to fight, their weapons blurring with their speed. I had no hope of fighting against a full vampire, not when they were so fast and strong.