Immortal Suffering

by Shana J Caldwell

  He pulls his pants off next, but keeps the thin material of his boxers on, leaving little to the imagination as the length of him is hard and tight against the fabric. I tear my eyes away and try and focus on my uneven breathing.

  I focus on myself again, not knowing where the burst of confidence came from. He clears his throat from behind me.

  “Are you ready?” he asks, his voice is thicker than usual. I nod once, not trusting myself to form a coherent sentence. He reaches a hand out for me, I move my right arm around to cover both breasts and place my left hand in his.

  He leads us to the shower, opening the glass door. We step in; I drop his hand as I move to the back wall towards the soap. The water is hot and begins to steam the glass up. I’m nervous to turn around.

  He comes up behind me and turns me towards him, the water droplets run down his face and neck; leaving the trails of loose hair behind. His hands rest on my hips. His mouth is slightly parted as he looks down at me and I almost have to pinch myself to remind me this isn’t a dream.

  “Tell me about the camp,” he says. I frown at him. That’s not what I was expecting. He reaches behind me and grabs the soap before taking my hands in his, he begins to scrub at the blood on my arms.

  “It was different, they have grobblers as their guards now and I’m guessing they’d use them in other areas. I had a chat with Xavier one night by the fire.” A low growl comes from him at the mention of Xavier’s name. I smirk a little.

  “Someone jealous?” I tease; the muscle in his jaw twitches.

  “No, I was clearing my throat,” he grumbles. He finishes washing my arms and puts the soap back before his hands move and rest on the back wall on either side of my face; encasing me in. I want badly to touch his chest and to feel the muscles there but then I’m fully exposed to him.

  “I get jealous too,” I whisper, looking down. His boxers stick to his skin, although the spray from the water mainly hits his back. I still feel like my skin is on fire.

  “You have nothing to be jealous of Allison, nothing.” I draw my eyes back up to his, I nibble my lip. Of course I did, I knew what Cassidy looked like and God knows whoever else he’d been with. I was just some impure half breed human.

  “I do. I see the way the other females look at you.” I wish I could take the words back after they leave my mouth, God I was a downer tonight. I have this sexy man in front of me and I’m feeling sorry for myself.

  “And do you know who I’m looking at?” his right hand comes to my face as he strokes my cheek. I shake my head slowly. He rests his forehead on mine.

  “You. Always you.” His answer makes my heart swell in my chest, I had no words.

  “Oh.” I whisper dumbly, embarrassed with myself.

  “Come on, I’ll wash you and get the rest of the blood off you.” He straightens and reaches for the soap behind me again. I look down at my arms; most of the blood had washed away already from his earlier attempt, only leaving a few stubborn patches.

  He stands back with the soap in hand.

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes.” My voice is barely a whisper. It terrifies me how much I do trust him, how easily I had fallen for him and was still falling for him. I don’t know if he feels the same, but for right now I am going to pretend.

  I let my arms fall to my side, fully exposing myself to him. I watch as his eyes roam over my bare chest, taking in each curve and imperfection.

  He reaches out for my left arm and begins to run the soap along it. Bubbles form and turn red as he removes the grime and dirt. He raises my other arm and repeats the same gesture, cleaning them thoroughly.

  “Could you… wash the rest of me?” I ask softly, his eyes widen as he nods once. I let my arms fall to the side as I turn around. He runs the soap up and down my back, over my shoulders. My breathing gets shallow as his hands reach around to my stomach, with the soap in his hand he begins to go higher. He stops just shy of my breasts.

  “Are you sure?” he breathes into my ear, with each rise of his chest it touches my back; I hadn’t realised how close he’d moved.

  “Yes.” I look over my shoulder at him; I don’t take my eyes from him as one hand cups my breast while the other roams over them with the soap. He sits the soap back in its crevice and takes my other breast in his hand; he begins to knead them softly.

  The pulsing between my legs picks up, I squeeze them together to try and find some release from the pressure that is beginning to build up deep inside of my stomach.

  Each slow knead is more torturous than the last, his fingers are gentle as he skims my hard nipples; nearly sending me over the edge. To where, I wasn’t sure but the rise was nearly greater than the fall. My breathing comes in uneven gasps.

  “God… that feels amazing,” I moan, letting my head fall back against his chest. I expose the right side of my neck to him, also letting the water beat down against my chest, each droplet helps feed the fire he’s started inside of me.

  “I would do anything to hear you moan again.” He slides his lips up my neck, his hands never relenting. I lean back, arching my ass into him.

  “Fuck.” he swears under his breath. I’d never felt this wound up before, I had no idea what to do but my body seemed to.

  “Kiss my neck.” my breathing comes in gasps as he kisses my neck, gentle at first. Obeying my command. I wonder what it would feel like if he were to… bite me.

  “Oh god, Kal.” I groan, shutting my eyes. He rubs himself against me and I don’t hesitate as I roll my hips in sync to his, the length of him nestling between my ass.

  He goes to kiss me again, but instead of his tongue I feel his fangs graze across my pulse. All rational thought flies out the window as one hand begins to travel down my stomach; he gropes the inside of my thigh gently. If only he’d reach higher.

  “I’m not going to have sex with you tonight, my queen,” he whispers in my ear, before taking it between his teeth and tugging gently. His hand drops from my breast as he turns me to face him, he pushes me against the back wall; holding me up with his thigh. I whimper at the pressure and pleasure that comes from him nestled between my legs.

  “Bite me then,” I gasp, tilting my head back to look into his eye; water catches on his long eyelashes. His fangs gleam in the light. He stands there panting, his eyes snap back to mine. I wasn’t sure were the primal urge came from, but I needed it.

  “Allison…” I can tell he’s pulling away, back to his sensible self. I didn’t want sensible right now, I needed dangerous. I needed him.

  “Please bite me, Kal.” I beg. My hands reach out and pull him closer to me, I begin to grind myself against his thigh. He moans low in his throat as he watches my breasts bounce with the movement. I rack my nails down his back, I can tell he is about to snap.

  In response my own fangs emerge, pressing against my bottom lip; I lean forward and pepper small kisses along his collar bone, grazing my fangs along as I go.

  Bite him, sink your fangs into the soft flesh and make him yours.

  He is yours. Forever and more.

  Claim him.

  I try and fight against the urge but it’s pointless, I let the more vampiric part of me take over. I plant a kiss at the base of his throat and shoulder and press my fangs down softly; silently asking permission.

  “Ali, there’s something you should know before you do that… before we do this.” he groans, he doesn’t move away though.

  “Tell me after.” I say against his skin, my voice a purr. I knew he wanted this as much as I did. I’m not sure where my fascination came from to be bitten and bite back, after I bit Yolanda it’s like something deep inside has woken.

  “Allison…” my name is a blessing and a curse on his lips, breaking me away from any rational thought. I sink my fangs down, immediately my mouth fills with blood and the feeling is pure euphoria. I groan as I drink from him, the taste of his blood drives my senses wild. It tastes better than heaven.

  He grinds against me as I grip
his back, racking my nails down. A growl rips out of his throat as he pulls away, I gasp as blood leaks from my mouth and no doubt is smeared across my teeth.

  He takes in the sight, his eyes wild and unlike the Kal I’d grown to know. He swallows, hard.

  “Please, Kal,” I pant, needing this. My fangs retract on their own, knowing they’re not needed anymore.

  “I don’t want you to regret it.” his voice is rough, still fighting the primal urge. I expose the right side of my neck to him, knowing he could hear how erratic he’s making me.

  “I won’t, I promise.” my voice begins to whine now, I needed some form of release or I was sure to go mad. Everything inside of me is wound up and ready to explode, drunk on him.

  “If at any moment you want me to stop, tell me and I will. Okay? I need you to promise that.” he leans his forehead against mine, his hands grip my hips as he pulls me up higher; I wrap my legs around his waist. The length of him rests between our bodies, right against the warmest part of me.

  “I promise.” I lick my lips as one hand comes to my shoulder; he lowers his mouth over my throat. He grazes his fangs along the sensitive skin, I moan.

  He comes undone.

  He slowly sinks his fangs into me; I feel the blood begin to run down the front of me. I gasp and moan, moving my hips fast against him. My body begins to ignite deep inside of me. He groans against me. Deep in our state of pleasure I feel a connection form between us, it snaps into place.

  “Oh god yes, Kal…” I moan his name like a pray, over and over again as the pleasure explodes until it ebbs away. I feel him drinking my blood, once I still against him he unlatches. I hiss as his fangs leave, the two small holes continue to bleed slowly; mixing with the water. He pants as he looks down at me, blood runs down his chin.

  “You taste divine.” he slows his breathing as he takes control of himself, slowly his fangs retract. He leans his forehead against mine while we both stay there panting. That was incredible.

  “I’m ready for that hot chocolate now your highness.” I say weakly, smiling lazily up at him. He dips his face down and pecks me on the nose.

  “So am I.” he lowers me to the ground and takes my hand in his as we leave the shower; he passes me a black towel as he pushes the button off. I look at myself in the mirror, my pale skins seems to glow; the two small bit marks still leak. My wild eyes and damp hair look nothing like me.

  He wraps a towel around his waist, leads me out of the bathroom and towards his bedroom.

  “Picking up where we left off?” I tease, squeezing his hand. He shakes his head. I know there’s a smile on his lips. He opens the door and leads me in, I stand there while he moves around the bed. He picks up one of his usual white shirts and passes it to me; I drop my towel as I pull it over my head. I breathe in his scent.

  “Are my boxers okay to wear?” he asks, turning towards me as he pulls a black pair from his draws. I nod once as he throws them to me, he dresses in his usual long white pants and pulls a dark green long sleeved shirt on.

  He scoops me up in his arms before we head back to the sitting room, I snuggle into him. I gently run my fingers over the two fang marks on the side of his neck; identical to my own. What had he said again? What did I have to know? My eyes grow heavy as I relax, exhaustion finally catching up to me.

  I finally found my home.

  Chapter 28

  Allison

  I wake to a hand running through my hair, I enjoy the moment before everything from last night comes crashing back into me. Kal carrying me to the shower. Kal washing me. Kal biting me. Me biting Kal. Oh God. My eyes fly open, only to see Kal leaning on one arm looking down at me. I relax slightly.

  “Good morning sleepy head, how are you feeling today?” he asks, stroking my cheek. I groan.

  “I wish I could have slept in a little more.” although my body is feeling refreshed my mind still feels exhausted. I had a busy day ahead of me today, first thing I had to do is take that serum to someone I could trust.

  “There’s plenty of time to sleep, I could wake you up again in a few hours?” he suggests; his hand travels down my neck and rests on my shoulder. His eyes flicker to the spot he’d bitten last night.

  “I have a busy day today, I might need your help actually.” I sigh and roll on my back; he must have carried me up to his room last night.

  “You need my help with something? That’s a first.” I roll my eyes at him, he’d have to get over the fact I’d left to do my own mission without him. I sit up and stretch my arms, yawning.

  “Yes, your help. I need you to take me to one of your most trusted scientists. I have a … favour to ask of them.” he sits up beside me, the sheet exposing his bare chest.

  “A favour you say?” I lean my head against his shoulder. Time to open up.

  “When I was at the camp the serum they’re injecting everyone with isn’t stable. They’re killing children and the elderly with it. I made a compromise with Xavier. I said I’d bring back a stable serum for them that essentially makes them equal to vampires. He gave me three months otherwise he will continue using the same serum.” I raise my head to find his eyes searching my face, deep in thought.

  “I know it isn’t ideal for you, giving the humans an advantage. But I can’t think of any other way to make them equal and eventually have us all coexist.” I sigh, needing him to understand.

  “Allison, it’s not just about having us all coexist. Vampires can’t solely survive on animal blood; we still do need human blood. If the serum isn’t stable for us to feed, we may as well just wipe out my entire race.” I frown at his words.

  “Make it so you can still drink it then? In the world I imagine I have us all coexisting; humans own the day and vampires own the night. We could have everyone do monthly donations so the vampires wouldn’t have to kill anyone.” I sigh, wishing it was that easy. That simple.

  “Not all vampires and not all humans would like that idea.” he says softly.

  “I know they won’t but we need to start somewhere. I’d even thought about creating like an underground town for vampires, so through the day they could still do their own thing and not just be locked away in a house.” I can see my vision so clearly, vampires could still roam throughout the day and humans could still roam at night if they pleased. If I could live with them why couldn’t other humans?

  My mind wanders to the vampires that had cornered me, wanting to taste my blood. I shiver involuntarily. If I was a mere human I’m afraid of how that encounter could have ended.

  “It still surprises me that you think of my race and try to make sure they’re just as comfortable as well. I can see your vision; it’s just getting there that is going to be the hard part.” he wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him. I manoeuvre onto his lap and lean back against him.

  “I just wish everyone could see it how I do, it’s so clear in my mind. But can we still please try with the serum? I can’t have any more blood on my hands, Kal. If their serum was stable, Yolanda’s little boy would still be alive. She wouldn’t have been turned. Kal, if I can stop unnecessary deaths you know I’m going to.” I lean back so I can look up at him, my eyes stray down to his neck; two puncture wounds stare back at me.

  I sit up and turn in his lap; he raises an eyebrow as I sit on my knees. I take his head in my hands and lean it to the right, the puncture wounds still there.

  “Kal? Why is the bite mark still there?” I ask, touching them gently. He stills under me, his face turns serious.

  “You know how I said you had to know something before we went through with it?” his voice is cautious; I frown and let him straighten his head.

  “Yes…” I trail off. When Nardia had bit me the bite marks had disappeared. Why hadn’t Kal’s? Why had the humans on the street had scars from them?

  “When we both do it willingly and feed from one another… it forms a bond, a connection. Like two souls connecting. I should have just told you instead of giving in, if you
don’t want it the bond can be broken… it’s painful though,” he says softly. My hands fall to my lap as I try to process this information.

  In the moment I had felt something form between us, I just thought it was an intimate moment not our souls connecting as one. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

  “So we’re what? Connected? Soul mates or something?” I ask, avoiding his eyes. I reach up and sure enough I feel the two puncture marks from his fangs. I know I liked him, but did I love him?

  “This just seems like something people in love would do. But you don’t love me, I don’t even know if you like me, because I do like you and I don’t know how you managed to worm your way under my skin, but you have.” I begin to ramble nervously; he rests his hands on my thighs. I stop and look up at him, his face wounded.

  “We’re connected, yes. The marks won’t go away unless the connection is broken. Allison you have nothing to worry about, nothing has changed between us. I do like you, if you want to do more… couple things I would be more than happy. Please don’t overthink this. We can take it as slow as you want.” he cups my face and strokes my cheeks. Everything had changed though, we had both changed.

  “Kal, how could I not overthink this? If whatever this is between us goes any further you’ll want me to become a full vampire and right now that’s honestly not what I want. I don’t know if it ever will be.” I bite my bottom lip, would he be angry if I chose to stay human and leave him behind?

  “Ali, it’s okay. I’m not asking anything of you and I’m not asking you to become anything for me. I like you for you, your smart attitude and mostly your human heart. It makes you, you. If you chose to stay human I would support you the entire way. If this isn’t what you want then I will do the right thing and step away. I want to see where we can go, forget about being my queen or us being bound together. If you want to see where we can go then we will; if you don’t, tell me and it can stop.” I take a minute to process his words. He doesn’t care if I stay human or choose to become a full vampire. The thought of him stepping away hurts my heart; the pain is a surprise to me. I didn’t want to be without him.