Immortal Suffering

by Shana J Caldwell

  I do trust him, more than I trusted Zeke and Xavier. He is the first person I could be open and be myself with.

  “I want to try,” I whisper. I reach up and wrap my hands around his neck.

  “I want to see where this goes, but please be careful with me. I am broken and still trying to heal,” I say softly, rubbing my thumbs against the back of his neck. He brings his forehead to mine and takes a deep breath. I think back to Cass’s diary entry.

  Do not fear, for she needs you to be her light as well. Together you will fall apart and be mended.

  “You make me so happy Allison, never in my hundreds of years have I felt the way you make me feel. I would wait a hundred or more years for you again. I hope I don’t disappoint you.” he leans forward and brushes his lips against mine.

  “You make me happy too, Kal. I didn’t know what it felt like until you came into my life,” I say softly, my breath hitting his lips.

  “Now let us go and find someone to make a stable serum,” he says, before bringing his lips softly to mine. I kiss him back, running my tongue along his bottom lip. My blood ignites as he slides his tongue into my mouth; I pull myself closer to him.

  His hands leave my face and trail down my sides, resting on my hips. Reluctantly he breaks the kiss, breathing heavy.

  “Sweetheart there’s plenty of time we can continue this, but we need to focus on getting that serum into work.” I sigh and roll my eyes.

  “Why do you always have to be so sensible?” I groan, even though I know he is right. I climb off of him; his shirt hangs part way down my thighs. I’d be able to walk back to my room like this.

  “I’ll go and get changed and meet you at the front of the castle then, yes?” I ask as I walk to the door, I look back over my shoulder as I grab the door handle. He leans back against his arms, the sheet just covering his waist. I trail my eyes up his toned stomach; his messy bun is nearly undone, sending long strands down the front of him.

  In this moment he looks like a god. A god who only has eyes for me. What he saw in me I wasn’t sure. Currently, I was thankful for that bond we’d created. I’d never get used to waking up to his handsome face every day.

  “Yes, that sounds like a plan.” he raises an eyebrow suggestively; I roll my eyes at him in return, wanting nothing more than to climb back to his side.

  “You can’t walk around town half naked,” I groan, opening the door.

  “You mean fully naked,” he calls as I shut the door behind him. A huge smile settles on my face; seeming permanent.

  I walk back to my room grinning like an idiot, as I go to pass the sitting room hallway, I hear voices coming from the room. I pause and look down the hallway, the door opens as Cassidy and Nardia step out. I freeze, realising what it must look like. Nardia catches my eyes and her mouth falls open, Cassidy’s eyes travel to the bite mark.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she growls.

  Chapter 29

  Kalabhiti

  I enter the sitting room, adjusting the sleeve of my usual black training leathers. I’d pulled my hair back into a high ponytail, showcasing the mate mark. I look up to see Allison sitting on the couch, dressed in black tights and long sleeved red shirt. Her hair is down, the waves fan around her face. Nardia and Cassidy stand in front of her.

  “Ladies. What do I owe the pleasure?” I ask, eyeing Cassidy and Nardia as I stand behind the couch. My hands itch to reach out and touch Ali; I grip the top of the couch instead.

  “When were you going to tell us you’d decided to mark her?” Cassidy asks, furious. I stay calm as I look at her. Nardia shrugs. She would have known this was coming.

  “It wasn’t planned,” I say coolly, not that this was any of her business. She scoffs.

  “Yeah right, well now that you two are just the best of lovers I’m sure you’ve told her about the human you’ve been keeping here against his will.” Cassidy growls, crossing her arms over her chest. I go rigid, looking down at Ali. She looks up at me, her eyes wide. This is not how I was planning on telling her.

  “Tell me she’s lying,” she pleads. Her ruby eyes search my face; her bottom lip quivers.

  “Why would I lie? I get nothing from it. I don’t know why you think he is a good man, because he isn’t. At the end of the day he will always be a vampire, you stupid mortal.” I growl at the insult. Cassidy knows nothing of the man I am.

  “You will not speak about your King that way and you sure as hell will not talk to Allison like that either.” I stand straight, immediately my shadows begin to fan out around me. I’d been slack with them ever since Ali arrived, I’d been trying to change my old ways.

  “I can talk to her however I want and you’re not one to stop me. She means nothing to me and she never will. You’ve become soft since she’s arrived. You’re a piss poor excuse of a King,” Cassidy spits. Before I have time to retaliate Allison has her pinned against the fire place. She snarls at her, her fangs extending.

  “You can speak to me however you like but I will not sit by and watch you disrespect him. I may be a mortal but I am far from stupid.” Allison growls, her hand tightening on Cassidy’s throat. I step forward; Nardia sends me a warning glare. I move around the couch and stand beside Nardia, maybe this was a long time coming.

  “Get your filthy humans hands off of me!” Nardia shouts, her fangs coming down as well. Ali gives her a wicked smile. She turns still holding Cassidy and sends her flying through the door into the hallway. She sends me a glare full of hate before she prowls around the couch, she hadn’t forgotten about the human.

  “Finally you’ve grown some back bone,” Cassidy says, pulling herself up from the floor.

  “That’s what happens when you go through hell and back.” Ali stands in the door way, deathly still. Her voice had dropped an octave, turning into something more primal; more vampire.

  “You know Cassidy, I never did like you. From the moment Zeke dragged you along to one of our meetings I knew we weren’t going to get along. I’ve done nothing but respect you this entire time and you still seem to find ways to hate me.” She stalks forward, blue tendrils spill from her hands; working their way towards Cassidy. In this moment a small part of me is afraid of Ali. I’d never seen this side of her before.

  “Nardia, shouldn’t we stop this?” I whisper, watching as the blue tendrils wrap around Cassidy’s legs.

  “She’s not going to kill her, but this is a long time coming. She’s assured me she’s no murderer,” Nardia whispers back before looking back towards them. Cassidy growls, Ali hadn’t seen the power Cassidy possessed. Not many people had, she was very private about what she could do.

  “How could I like you? You let my people die, they were defenceless and you left them behind. My little brother was a part of those who died; I will never forgive you for that.” Slowly Cassidy’s skin begins to glow a bright red, the air grows hot around us. Nardia raises an eyebrow; I have my shadows ready to diffuse the situation. I hadn’t known she had a little brother. Allison stills at that information, I can’t imagine the thoughts that would be running through her head.

  “I tried to save them, half of them were saved. I’m sorry about your brother,” she says softly, her blue tendrils seem to falter. I knew Ali wasn’t a fighter and was more of a lover. She already held enough guilt about those vampires we lost.

  “I don’t want your pity.” Cassidy spits, her skin glows a dark red now and the heat in the room is almost sweltering. I feel sweat beads form along my forehead.

  “I will never like you,” she says, taking a step back.

  “Why not?” Ali asks; her voice low. Cassidy catches my eyes.

  “Because you have him and ever since you’ve been here everything has changed, I was here before you. I always have been.” She tears her eyes away from mine and turns around, fleeing from the castle. Nardia sighs and runs after her, calling out her name.

  As soon as she’s gone the temperature returns to normal. Allison calls her powers
back into her before turning towards me. I stay still.

  “Why do you have a human here?” She asks, her voice blunt.

  “Because we needed to see if their blood was still compatible for us to drink. They’re staying in a private room in the city, donating it in small amounts. Zuriel had been testing it to see if it will poison us or not,” I say calmly, clasping my hands behind my back. I had good reason to do this, but looking at the hurt on Ali’s face it just makes me feel…bad. Wrong.

  “Have you not learnt a thing from me? Or from our conversations? I am a human, I am trying to find a balance in this world and you do this. You’re just as bad as they are!” She cries out, her hands shake at her sides.

  “Can you please calm down, the person isn’t hurt. We feed them and they have a proper room to stay in. We were only keeping them long enough to see if their blood was compatible and then we were letting them go, but they don’t want to leave.” I try to show her the reason; I had no other way to go about it. I had to look out for my people just as much as she did. It was my duty as a King; I’d done worse things in my years as ruler.

  “Calm down? Regardless if you keep them in good conditions or not you’ve taken away their free will, a basic human right. Were you ever going to tell me?” I feel the trust we’d formed ebb away and I can’t believe I’ve fucked this up. After everything she’s gone through, I throw this in her face.

  “I was going to tell you and take you to meet them, since you’re human and would have more in common with them. I didn’t mean to hurt you; I was just trying to look out for my people.” I take a step towards her, she takes a step back. She begins to shake her head.

  “Don’t. Don’t come near me. I can’t believe you, you should have waited for me and we could have come up with something together.”

  “Like how you enlightened me with your little plan where you ran away for a week? How you oh so nicely left without a damn word?” I ask, my voice beginning to rise. She could not point fingers at me.

  “I couldn’t have vampire influence on my plan, you know this!”

  “Yeah and I couldn’t have human influence on mine.” I growl, my emotions are chaotic in my chest. She has unravelled me and rattled me. She shakes her head in disbelief, I wanted nothing more than to hold her and tell her how sorry I am.

  “I shouldn’t have given you the time of day to make me believe you could be better than what you are. You’re a vampire and I’m a human. I knew this wouldn’t work. I should have known you’d never change. Forget about the serum, I’ll do it on my own.” My face crumbles at her words, she turns around; ready to leave me behind. I begin to panic, all of this for nothing.

  “Ali, please don’t go. Give me a chance to show you I can be the man you need,” I plead, taking a step forward. She doesn’t look back; we both know if she did she’d cave. I wanted her to cave. I’d do anything to have her look at me.

  “I already did and look where it got me? Another broken heart and broken trust again.” her voice is barely a whisper; she takes a deep breath before walking down the hallway and disappearing.

  I fall to my knees; tears begin to well in my eyes. It couldn’t be over, she couldn’t give up on me so easily after how close we’d come. I’d opened myself up to her and she’d done the same, I knew what I was doing would hurt her. I just didn’t think I’d lose her in the process.

  Maybe she is right.

  Maybe all I am is just a vampire.

  Chapter 30

  Allison

  I grab my things and shove them into my backpack, not caring that they’re thrown in a ball. Hot tears stream down my face and make it difficult for me to see but I push through the pain.

  I had trusted Kal, and he had gone and taken a human against his will and used them as an experiment. It hits close to home, far too close.

  That camp had taken those vampires and done the exact same thing. How could he think I would be alright? Did he know of the suffering they had to go through? That I had to go through?

  I grab the serum and shove it on top of my clothes before zipping the bag shut. I couldn’t be in this castle right now; I couldn’t be near him at the moment. My heart aches in my chest, just as I’d let it heal I go and shatter it again with my own foolishness.

  I don’t know exactly where I’m going or what I’m really doing, but I’d formulate a plan as I went along. I strap the bag over my shoulders and run to the door, not wanting to see Kal or give him a reason to stop me. I burst through the front door and sprint towards the forest, running as fast and far away as I can get.

  I ignore the sounds and animals in the forest, not caring if the creature comes after me. I hit the city streets and slow down; I wipe the tears from my face and head towards the large white platform that will get me out of here.

  Maybe I was over reacting, but if he’s kept something like this from me who knows what else he’s been hiding. As I walk along I begin to look for science buildings or something similar. If I could somehow get the serum to someone who could stabilise it, it wouldn’t have been all for nothing.

  “Excuse me; do you have a science building in the city anywhere?” I ask a female vampire that stares too long at me; she shakes her head and looks away.

  I repeat this question over and over to the strangers on the street, finally an elderly vampire stops.

  “Yes we do. It’s towards the platform, has a gold lion on the sidewalk. Easy to spot, shouldn’t give you too much hassle to find.” his greying hair shines in the light around us, his eyes flicker to the marks on my neck. I shift uncomfortably. God damn I was stuck with his mark.

  “Thank you so much,” I say in a rush. I head towards the platform keeping an eye out for the golden lion he mentioned. Sure enough, it stands on the footpath; a scowl on its face. I look up the tall building, no windows were evident. I cautiously open the glass door, the female vampire behind the counter looks up at me. She adjusts her white lab coat and glasses.

  “How can I help?” She asks, beginning to type away at her computer. I come to the counter.

  “I need to talk to one of your most trusted scientists; I’m here on special orders from the King,” I say. I don’t feel guilty lying to her. Kal had brought this on himself.

  “Ah yes. Doctor Robert is our most trusted by the King. Were you needing to book an appointment with him?” Under her red fringe her eyes flicker towards my stomach.

  “Oh no I’m not pregnant. I just have to give him something,” I squeak, my cheeks burn under her gaze.

  “Alright, he has an opening now if you’d like to go on through to his office. Go up the elevator to level two and you’ll see his name on the second door to your right.” She looks back towards her computer, dismissing me.

  “Thanks.” I mumble before heading towards the elevator. This had to work; I had to make sure I didn’t screw this up. The elevator ride is short and sweet, classic piano keeps me entertained for the few moments of the trip. It pings open and I step out into a brightly lit hallway, each inch of it is pure white and nearly blinding. I walk slowly, finding his door.

  I knock against the white glass once. It sides open. At a bronze desk a young vampire sits; flicking through folders in front of him. A small black seat is vacant across from him.

  “You may enter.” his voice is deep, he gestures with a hand for me to come in. I hesitate. I didn’t even know if he was for or against helping humans.

  “Ah thank you. I’m sorry to take up your time like this,” I say as I step into the room, the door slides shut behind me. The room is small, bare of any decoration. As I take a seat I feel like a lab rat. He sits his paper down and looks up at me.

  His blonde hair sits wavy against his head; his black eyes are no surprise. He’s clean shaved, not one speckle of hair is to be seen. He’s good looking in an odd kind of way I couldn’t place.

  “Now, how can I help?” he asks, surveying me.

  “I need your help, I don’t know if you’re going to like it or not an
d if you don’t I can find someone else but I’ve been told you’re the Kings most trusted scientist?” I ask, gripping the straps against my sides tightly.

  “Yes I am. And who might you be?” he asks, sitting back in his chair.

  “Allison,” I say, not liking his constant need for eye contact. He smiles bleakly at me.

  “Alright Allison, how would you like me to help?” He crosses his arms over his chest. I pull my bag out in front of me and grab the vial.

  “I need you to make this a stable serum. It’s so humans can take the dosage and become equal to vampires in areas they lack.” I hold the green liquid up for him to see, this catches his attention.

  “Now why would I do that?” he asks, leaning forward as he looks at the serum.

  “Because they’re being injected and dying from it. If all humans take it and all die that leaves vampires with nothing. I’d rather them have a stable serum than die out completely,” I say calmly. He didn’t have to know the whole truth about the serum, or that only the elderly and children were dying.

  “Has the King asked for this?”

  “Yes he has. We want you to also make it stable enough and compatible so when vampires drink it they don’t get poisoned. It has to be vampire friendly.” he reaches out for the vial; I pull it out of reach.

  “I’ll only give you half the dosage, so if you fail I can still find a solution on my own.” I sit it back down on the bag, eyeing him cautiously.

  “Smart girl. Very well, I’ll run it by the King himself and if it’s what he wishes I will begin. You’ll need to pour half the contents into another vial.” he opens a draw under his desk and pulls out an empty vial; I take it off him and begin to pour the liquid in. A small amount slips from the opening, he holds out his hand as an invisible power shoots out; grabbing the liquid and pushing it back towards the vial.