Minder

by Joely Skye

  A couch and a coffee table made up the living room. They settled there, Kir stuffing his face while Josh could barely swallow. Though he forced himself to drink, his appetite was shot. Stress did that. Kir noticed and Josh just shook his head.

  “Give me time. I’ll be able to eat later.”

  “I’ll get you another drink.” Kir went back to the kitchen and Josh could hear him cleaning up the glass he’d dropped earlier. Kir, endlessly thoughtful, incredibly kind. Josh embarrassed himself by blinking back tears as he remembered how Kir had cared for him during his first days after Brad, when Josh had been a physical and emotional wreck, and Kir hadn’t flinched from Josh’s attempts to hurt him.

  Kir returned to the living room and Josh held out a hand. Kir took it without hesitation. Josh drew him into his lap. Kir curled into him.

  Josh’s cock went hard against Kir’s butt.

  Kir met his gaze. “I thought you hated me.”

  “No.” Josh palmed Kir’s cheek, then carefully touched Kir’s eyes, his brow, his temples, his wide mouth, remembering the beauty there, because Kir was, by any standard, gorgeous. He submitted to Josh’s touch, as he always did, eyes darkening with desire.

  “I’m not going to hurt you,” said Josh.

  Kir frowned. “I know that.”

  “I didn’t. I was terrified I’d kill you.”

  “You wouldn’t.”

  “Such belief.”

  “Yes.”

  Josh cradled Kir’s face in his hands. “I missed you all winter.”

  Solemn, Kir gazed back, unable or unwilling to respond. With his thumb, Josh traced Kir’s lips.

  “I didn’t forget how beautiful you are.”

  Kir’s lips parted.

  “Do you mind being called beautiful? Some guys don’t like it. I could say you’re hot and it would be true, but you’re beautifully hot.”

  Kir blushed and Josh leaned forward to press his lips against Kir’s. Kir stilled, perhaps because of his own personal demons, perhaps fear for Josh. He tongued Kir’s lips. Kir groaned, opened his mouth, and Josh plundered. Kir’s mouth was sweet with juice, salty with popcorn, all Kir-taste and eagerness. The kiss took over and soon they were grappling with each other, making out for all they were worth, making up for their lost year.

  They kneeled on the couch, chest to chest, hard cocks pressed against each other, unable to get close enough despite deep kisses tinged with desperation. Josh broke away and yanked off Kir’s shirt while Kir unzipped Josh’s jeans.

  Then Josh’s cock was deep in Kir’s mouth. Kir massaged his balls. Josh couldn’t pull in enough air as he rested his hands on Kir’s warm back. Kir rose and fell. Josh’s cock pushed deeper with each stroke, feeling the warmth and the tongue and the back of the throat, unable to think beyond sensation. After a time he began to shake with lust and emotion, caught on the edge of a precipice.

  “Kir,” he warned as he stiffened. But Kir kept the rhythm going and Josh stopped fighting the release. He let go, spurting.

  Despite that, Kir didn’t stop his attentions. He thoroughly licked Josh’s head and slit, even after it was slack with gratitude. Josh caressed Kir’s back, feather touches with his rough fingers because he remembered that his lover, above all else, wanted contact.

  Kir looked up, dazed, and yet the uncertainty that always cut Josh lurked in his eyes. As if he thought Josh might criticize him.

  “Hi, gorgeous.” Josh leaned forward and kissed Kir, tasting himself in Kir’s mouth.

  Kir responded with eagerness, clutching Josh’s shoulders, shivering in his embrace.

  During their short times together, there had been little opportunity to kiss and Josh couldn’t predict their future. While they kissed, Josh took his time undressing Kir, making away with his pants. Without disengaging, he arranged Kir to sit on his lap facing him, Josh’s cock still sated and Kir’s rock hard.

  Liquid seeped out Kir’s slit and Josh circled the head with his fingers. Kir’s chest rumbled with heat and Josh pulled Kir closer, tipping up his ass, one hand with Kir’s cock, the other holding Kir’s balls.

  Josh broke the kiss to look at Kir, whose lips were swollen with kissing, whose face was heated with pleasure.

  “Hey, babe,” said Josh and his fingers slowly moved back from Kir’s balls.

  “Josh.”

  “Yes?” Josh reached the edge of Kir’s hole and Kir’s gaze became unfocused. Josh’s middle finger, slick with Kir’s precum, made contact and Kir opened for him. He slid in his finger and Kir almost fell backwards.

  Josh left Kir’s cock to catch him. They shifted so Kir’s knees were on either side of Josh’s thighs and Kir could lean on Josh, breathing noisily, Josh’s finger up Kir’s ass, relaxing him and massaging him. He brought a second finger inside and Kir moaned.

  The oven bell dinged and Kir stiffened, distracted.

  “Don’t think about leaving me now,” Josh warned. Kir was so close. Josh used his free hand to pump Kir. Once, twice, and the third time, Kir’s white cum spilled across Josh’s fist and onto his thigh while Kir shuddered above him.

  He didn’t remove his fingers right away. Instead he kissed Kir as deeply as he could and Kir took everything Josh could give.

  Josh slid out, tamped down the kiss and let Kir go. With a bewildered air, Kir backed off the couch and walked naked to the kitchen. Josh washed his hands, changing the bandage. His cut had bled during their speed sex, but not a lot.

  They ate hungrily now, not speaking, and when they finished, Josh’s exhaustion threatened to overtake him.

  Kir noticed. “Bed for you.”

  They went upstairs and found the master bedroom with a queen-sized bed. Kir lingered near the doorway, uncertain what to do, and Josh remembered that last summer he’d refused to sleep in the same bed as Kir.

  “You,” he told Kir, “are with me.” He took Kir’s hand and they tumbled into bed. “Tomorrow, we have a lot to talk about. Should have been tonight, but, well, you know.”

  Sleep about to claim him, Josh pulled Kir’s back against his chest and Kir moved closer, kissing Josh’s arm.

  As he slipped away, he heard Kir whisper, “I love you.”

  * * *

  Early morning, before the sun rose, Josh woke disoriented. No longer in his one-man tent, he’d somehow ended up naked in a luxurious bed. He felt safe, if confused. Then his heart stuttered awake to see why. He’d slept with Kir, his beloved. Josh had named him thus last winter, though he couldn’t yet say it aloud.

  When they’d fallen asleep, Kir had been relaxed, but now there was tension in his back and he was curled up on the other side of the bed. With a pang, Josh wondered when Kir had slept with someone he wanted to be with. Apart from Josh that one time.

  Josh rolled out of bed and explored the washroom. Yes, Trey had supplies. Josh opened the box of condoms and while there wasn’t lube, there was oil.

  He turned off the bathroom light and padded back into the bedroom, letting his eyes adjust to the gray darkness, listening to Kir breathe. Kir jumped in his sleep. If Kir had been sleeping peacefully, Josh would have let him be.

  He placed the oil and condom on the side table and climbed back into bed, crawling over to Kir’s side and looking down at him. He wanted to protect Kir from his past, an impossibility. They could only move forward.

  He laid his hand on Kir’s shoulder, very little pressure, and Kir jerked awake.

  “Hey,” Josh murmured. “It’s okay.”

  “Josh?” Kir tried to turn, but Josh kept pressure on his shoulder.

  “Lie on your stomach. Look away from me.”

  “Um, okay.” Kir sounded confused, unsure. He paused for a moment, then rested his head on the back of his hands, facing away. Josh could feel the tension in his body. During their few weeks together last summer, they’d made love frequently. Too often, when foreplay began, Kir had been overanxious to please and only relaxed when Josh gave orders. Josh didn’t know if Kir had simply been worried about
Josh and his sensitivity to touch, or if making love—at least its opening movements—stressed Kir.

  Josh leaned over Kir, brushed his hair back from his face and kissed the salty corner of Kir’s eye.

  “Dreaming?” Josh asked.

  “I guess.”

  “Bad dream?”

  “I don’t remember.”

  Josh stroked Kir’s upper arm and kissed his cheek. “You’ve been working out. Your muscles make me hot.” He kissed the corner of Kir’s mouth. “As does your mouth. Well, everything about you.”

  Kir snorted in surprise. He always reacted to compliments as if they were embarrassing bolts out of the blue.

  “You know I like everything about you, right?”

  Kir’s lips parted. “I’m glad,” he declared with such feeling that Josh’s chest squeezed tight.

  “Did you know?”

  Kir gave a short shake of his head.

  “Do you want me to touch you?” asked Josh.

  “Yes.”

  “Good, because I’ve been dying to touch you for months. It hurt to think of you.” Josh bit Kir’s neck lightly and Kir gasped. “Did you ever think of me?”

  “All the time.”

  Josh smiled. He stroked under Kir’s arm while he licked the skin he’d nipped. “You taste like salt and Kir. Perfect. I remembered your taste, you know. I dreamed of it sometimes.”

  A tear leaked out of Kir’s eye. He had always been emotional, as Josh had learned during their weeks together. He came back to catch the salty tear on his tongue, then laved Kir’s eye shut.

  “You worry too much, just when you’re not supposed to,” said Josh.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to want me.”

  “I want you, Josh.”

  “I want to fuck you. Okay?”

  “Yes.”

  “You should check that I have condoms. God knows what Brad carried around with him.”

  “I know you have condoms.”

  Josh laughed, stroking Kir’s back, the shoulder blades, the muscles beneath skin, the dusting of dark hair. “You’re right, but you didn’t know. You just like to say yes, because I’m going to fuck your brains out.”

  Kir raised his ass in invitation. Josh palmed Kir’s cheeks appreciatively, then stroked his legs before spreading them farther apart. “Stay like that, okay?”

  “Okay,” said Kir thickly.

  Josh smiled. “I love your voice.”

  “My voice?”

  “So sexy.”

  Kir didn’t answer. Josh reached under to find Kir’s cock hard and dripping.

  “Have you slowed down any?” asked Josh.

  “I don’t know.” Kir sounded bewildered by all this talk. He always came quickly, at least with Josh, and Josh didn’t know if that was a personal quirk or anxiety or youth. Though Kir, no longer the boy of twenty-two he’d first met, was twenty-five to Josh’s thirty-one.

  “If you don’t know, Kir, who does?” Josh held Kir’s cock, gently squeezing it, running his fingertips over Kir’s slick head. Kir became even harder.

  “You,” Kir managed.

  “Remember sometimes we’d come together?”

  Kir rested on his elbows now. “I don’t know if I can wait, Josh,” he pleaded.

  “What do you want?”

  Kir didn’t answer, though he was noisily inarticulate as Josh stroked Kir’s length in a rhythm that would bring release.

  “I’ll tell you what I want,” said Josh and Kir groaned. “Exactly that.” Kir came, pumping into Josh’s hand, shuddering while Josh palmed Kir’s back with his clean hand.

  “At least, that’s what I wanted first. Now, don’t move.” Josh collected Kir’s cum. Kir stayed still, shivering a little, ass raised, elbows braced, pleasure noises coming from his throat. Josh couldn’t remember anyone enjoying his attentions as much as Kir did.

  Josh slathered Kir’s cum up and down Kir’s crack, then reached for the condom and rolled it up his length.

  “Are you relaxed?” Josh touched the tip of his cock to Kir’s perfect hole.

  “Please.”

  “Oh, I want it, babe, you don’t have to ask.” Josh pushed in and Kir welcomed him, muscles relaxing to take him, throat humming, yes.

  “You amaze me, Kir. You just let me in. No resistance. As if we belong together.”

  Josh rested there, savoring the heat and the feel of Kir, filling Kir to the hilt.

  “Are you comfortable?”

  “Josh.” Not an answer, but it sounded good.

  Instead of moving, Josh stroked Kir’s legs and lightly touched his balls and the seam down their middle.

  “Josh.” Not a plea, just a statement.

  “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Kir repeated his name. Josh began to move. He started slow. He wanted to feel everything about it, the way Kir’s muscles clenched and released, the way Kir’s legs trembled. He wanted to listen to Kir moan. But at some point all these observations fell by the wayside and Josh’s control lost the upper hand. He thrust harder and harder. His cock took over. There was sensation and Kir and motion and emotion till the wave hit him and he released, panting above Kir who still hadn’t moved, yet his entire body vibrated with pleasure. Josh did not want to leave.

  His penis didn’t soften right away so instead of slipping out, he slung an arm under Kir’s stomach and sat back, bringing Kir with him. As if to end things as they had begun, he bit Kir’s neck again and Kir didn’t even gasp, he just rested, boneless in Josh’s arms.

  Josh nuzzled Kir. “No more bad dreams tonight, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  They tumbled over, Josh slid out and Kir turned. They lay side by side, facing each other, and kissed long and deep and slow before they fell asleep.

  Chapter Four

  Kir woke enveloped in Josh’s warmth, his shoulder absorbing the heat from Josh’s chest. Their legs intertwined, Kir lay on his back, when he only ever slept curled on his side. Then again, he was sleeping with Josh. Kir opened his eyes tentatively, as if Josh might disappear in the bright light of day. Instead, clear gray eyes looked down at him. With affection, thought Kir, and like a school girl his heart leapt with delight.

  “Good morning,” greeted Josh, a slight question in his voice, needing reassurance. Because Josh worried about Kir and his past and his reaction to sex.

  Kir turned and ducked his head into Josh’s neck so he wouldn’t look too love struck.

  “Yes,” he declared, feeling ardent.

  Josh stroked Kir’s back and Kir felt the bandage on Josh’s palm.

  With alarm, Kir sat up. He grabbed Josh’s hand. “How is the cut?”

  Josh smiled as Kir examined him. “It’s fine. I changed the bandage a couple of times. I was perhaps a little too active.”

  “I’m sorry.” Kir traced the skin around the bandage and Josh shivered.

  “Not your fault.” Josh could say that because he didn’t yet know Brad had come after him because of Kir.

  “It is,” Kir said in a low voice.

  Josh’s bandaged hand rose, nudging Kir’s chin up so he had to meet Josh’s gaze. “What is your fault? That I cut myself?”

  “Brad.” Kir almost gagged on the name.

  Josh’s mouth twisted and his gray eyes clouded. “Why bring Brad into our bed?”

  Kir could barely breathe now.

  Josh sighed. “Why do you feel responsible for Brad’s actions? Because he was a fellow Minder?”

  “No.” Kir closed his eyes, ashamed. Josh, at least, had been Brad’s Zombie.

  The silence stretched on and Kir knew he had to speak. He’d avoided it last summer when Josh was fragile and needed to heal. Last night had seemed too soon and they’d been…busy. This morning felt no better when it came to timing. Yet to hide his relationship with Brad was wrong. And impossible. He wouldn’t lie to Josh, even through avoidance.

  But to actually say it, was difficult.
The tension built in his chest. He became terrified that Josh would walk out in disgust, and Kir wouldn’t blame him. His throat thickened and he couldn’t quite speak.

  “Kir?”

  Get a grip. Get a grip.

  “Hey.” Josh pulled him down into his embrace but Kir looked away. Then Josh positioned himself on top, his length along Kir’s, elbows above his shoulders. Josh brushed back Kir’s hair, quieting him with touch. Gently Josh placed a hand beneath Kir’s cheek and pushed, forcing him to either look into Josh’s eyes or close his own.

  Kir met Josh’s gaze and saw concern.

  “Your heart is going a mile a minute beneath me,” said Josh. “What are you scared of?”

  “I didn’t know he’d go after you.” Kir’s voice shook.

  “Why did he go after me?” Josh spoke as if he hadn’t been brutalized by Brad.

  “I stopped.” Kir wished he could see Josh more clearly, wished he could stop speaking. But he owed Josh the truth. “I just couldn’t be with Brad anymore. I’m so sorry.” He felt helpless waiting for Josh to fling himself off the bed. But Josh kept stroking Kir’s face, wiping away the tears.

  “So you and Brad were together?”

  Kir nodded.

  “How long?”

  Kir swallowed. “A year and a half. Off and on.”

  “Did he force you?”

  Kir shook his head violently and closed his eyes, as if that would stop the tears. He waited for Josh to pull away in revulsion.

  Instead, Josh lowered his mouth to Kir’s eyelids and licked them, cleaning off the salt and the liquid around them, a soothing gesture that Kir had never experienced before Josh. After a while, Kir found he could stop crying.

  He opened his eyes. Josh still waited above him, no disgust, his gaze honest and clear.

  “Did he scare you, Kir?”

  Kir smiled weakly. “I’m always a little scared.”

  “Are you scared now?”

  “That you’ll leave me. Now that you know.”

  Josh just watched. “But how did Brad know about me?”

  “He met you, remember?”

  Josh blinked, confused.

  “You don’t remember?”

  “No.”

  It hadn’t occurred to Kir that Brad would have prevented Josh from recognizing him. But it made sense. That way, Josh didn’t tell the agency Brad was a Minder.