Minder

by Joely Skye

  Josh’s elbows began to shake.

  “He must have messed with your memory,” explained Kir. “You met him just before we parted three years ago. He knew I cared about you, though I tried to hide it. That was the problem.”

  They were both shaking now and Josh rolled onto his side, pulling Kir with him.

  Kir spoke into Josh’s shoulder. “Brad wouldn’t have gone after you, except for me. He was angry that I wouldn’t put out any longer.”

  “I think I’ll blame Brad, not you,” Josh ground out.

  “I was frantic when you told me Brad was with you. I got to you as fast as I could.”

  Josh toyed with Kir’s hair. “Somehow none of this surprises me. I think, at some level, I knew. Even if I can’t remember.”

  There was a long silence.

  “Did Brad hurt you, Kir?”

  “Sometimes,” he admitted.

  “Did you like that?”

  “Sometimes. Because I felt, I dunno, less culpable. A lie, but there you go.”

  Josh took a while to digest that, but he also pulled Kir closer. His caresses didn’t stop and Kir couldn’t stop clinging.

  “Would you want me to hurt you?” Josh asked.

  “I just want you.”

  “Good.” Josh wrapped his hand carefully around Kir’s cock. “Because I can’t bring myself to hurt you.”

  Kir’s tongue found Josh’s nipple and soon Josh took control. Gently.

  They showered and breakfasted—cereal with boxed milk. Kir was overwhelmed by his confession and Josh’s forgiveness. It left him tongue-tied. So he made Josh coffee and himself tea.

  “Thanks.” Josh accepted the mug, a too-thoughtful expression on his face, and Kir braced himself. “I’m afraid we need to talk more. Though not, thankfully, about Brad.”

  Conversation had already exhausted Kir. Instead of talking, he wanted Josh to walk over and start touching him again, make everything feel right. Even if he already felt guilty that Josh gave more than he took when it came to sex. Kir could react but he couldn’t take the initiative.

  “Kir?” asked Josh and Kir nodded, ready to pay attention. “We can’t stay here.”

  He stiffened. “You don’t trust Trey?”

  “No. I think our purposes, to date, have been similar, but that could change at any time. Trey could decide to lead Horton and his crew to our little hideaway.”

  “Let’s get out.” Kir stood, unable to enjoy his tea. Somehow he’d thought Josh trusted Trey more than this. “Now.”

  “Calm down. We should leave today, but I don’t think Trey’s about to bring us in yet. He’s serious about helping us. Just the desire may not outlast other developments. There are people he’s more interested in protecting.”

  “Still.” Kir couldn’t bear being back in the hands of the agency.

  “We have a tiny problem of where to go, Kir. That’s what we need to figure out.”

  “That’s not a problem. I have a place.”

  Josh’s jaw clenched. “As much as I like you, Kir, I cannot possibly hang out with a gang of Minders. All my hard-earned peace of mind will be shot to hell and I’ll regress to the basket case I was last summer.”

  “No. No Minders and you weren’t a basket case.”

  “A little unsteady, if I recall.”

  “No.” Kir went to stand beside Josh.

  To Kir’s relief, Josh rose to embrace him. “What is this place of yours?” Josh said into his hair.

  “An apartment a day’s drive from here. It’s my private place. My sister gave it to me when I needed to get away. No one else knows. And no one is stalking me, like Brad. I promise.”

  “You think it’s safe.”

  “Safer than here.”

  * * *

  Josh watched Kir tell the car-rental guy they didn’t need to pay for the car. Although Josh still had money from Brad, cash would draw more attention than Kir blurring the kid’s mind so he wouldn’t remember what they looked like. They drove out of the parking lot, Kir at the wheel. Apparently Maddie had decided Kir needed to learn to drive.

  “You’re not too tired from messing with the kid?” Josh asked with some concern.

  “No, he didn’t care if we paid or not. He’s just doing a job.”

  “But he’ll get in trouble later.”

  “Maybe,” admitted Kir with a guilty glance at Josh.

  Once they hit the highway, Josh thought of Maddie. Not his favorite person. “Is your sister worried about where you are?”

  “I take off from time to time. She’s probably happy to think I hooked up with Ted.”

  “God, no,” said Josh, remembering Ed Harding. That scene in the bookstore was going to give him nightmares.

  “She thinks I need to have sex more often.” Kir flashed Josh an uncertain grin.

  Josh smiled back. “Only with me.”

  Kir turned back to the road, looking pleased. “I’ll let Maddie know I’m fine once we’re settled.”

  “Don’t tell her about me.”

  “Okay. She won’t hurt you, you know.”

  Josh didn’t know. In fact, he didn’t think of Maddie as a particularly great sister.

  “She knows how much I care about you.” Kir tightened his grip on the steering wheel and Josh decided he wouldn’t slag off the one person in the world who Kir had, besides himself.

  “Okay.”

  “Your brother is worried about you,” Kir said out of the blue, startling Josh.

  “Who?”

  Kir raised his eyebrows. “Your brother. Sam Mackay.”

  “He noticed I was gone?” Josh shook his head in disbelief. Sam, his feckless, self-centered younger brother, would have finished his year articling with some hotshot firm by now and didn’t have time to think about fugitive family members.

  “Uh, yeah, he noticed in a big way. Raised a stink.”

  “Sammy?” Josh knew he sounded slow on the uptake. His brother had taken Josh’s phone calls while the agency held Josh prisoner, but Sam hadn’t seemed interested. Or uninterested. Just bored. Perfunctory. Which was, Josh had to acknowledge, a family trait. “We’re not close.”

  Kir looked puzzled. “You’re close enough for him to ask why his adored older brother, who served in the marines for four years—I didn’t know that, Josh—disappeared while in government custody.” Kir was echoing Trey’s earlier statements, which Josh found odd. “He’s livid, Josh, and he’s actually made it kind of awkward for the agency. Because he’s an up-and-coming Washington lawyer with important friends. Going places. High-powered law firm. Apparently.” Kir shrugged. “I don’t really know about these things. This is what I gleaned from the internet.”

  Josh got worried. He didn’t want his brother in trouble with the agency.

  Kir noticed Josh’s alarm. “Your brother isn’t stupid. And he’s not without connections. They can’t really touch him for asking questions about you and demanding answers.”

  Josh turned and looked out the window, overcome by Sam’s apparent concern. “He was such a brat, Kir, you wouldn’t believe it.”

  “Yeah? Well, I guess older brothers often think that.”

  “Especially when the mother spoils the kid rotten.”

  “Your mother didn’t spoil you?”

  Josh paused. “No. She couldn’t. She was dead. Sam’s my half-brother. His mother didn’t like me much.”

  “How could she not like you?” Kir’s naive amazement warmed Josh.

  “You are too sweet.”

  Kir blushed. Josh liked making Kir blush. His dark skin got darker and redder. His eyes brightened with pleasure.

  They talked on and off for the rest of the day. Mostly Kir reassuring Josh that a horde of Minders wouldn’t descend upon them, or Josh trying out different long-term survival scenarios. He seemed to think they should winter in an abandoned state park. Kir would do anything for Josh, but rather hoped it wouldn’t come to that. Josh had become too hard and skinny this past year and Kir wanted to look
after him. Winter camping meant Josh looking after Kir when Josh already did too much for Kir.

  They arrived at dusk, pulling into the underground parking lot. He could feel Josh’s tension wafting off him. Kir got them out of the parking lot, up the elevator and into the apartment.

  Kir poured them drinks while Josh prowled the small space, checking out the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen, before stopping to stare out the window in the living room.

  “Nice skyline,” he said as Kir offered him water. Josh didn’t drink alcohol or Kir would have opened a bottle of wine to help him relax. Maybe touch would help. Josh’s touch always helped Kir.

  A little shyly, Kir leaned his head against Josh and Josh’s arm came around Kir’s shoulders, pulling him close for a kiss on the forehead. Kir liked that he could touch Josh now instead of guarding against any inadvertent contact. But it also made him nervous. Kir should sometimes make the first move and he didn’t quite know how.

  He knew how to respond. He learned that too well, even if he loved reacting to Josh and his hands, his lips, his tongue.

  “What is going on in that pretty head of yours?” asked Josh.

  Kir felt his face suffuse with heat, with pleasure. He adored Josh’s casual compliments and endearments. Over the past year, he had taken out memories of such instances and hugged them close when he’d felt so alone. Last summer, Josh hadn’t been comfortable enough to say such things easily, yet he’d called Kir babe twice, and Kir had treasured both times.

  Josh’s fingers brushed the back of Kir’s neck and he shivered. “Now what exactly did your sister say about you and sex?”

  Kir smiled, looking down, wishing he could say something sexy and complimentary but phrases like, you mean so much to me, or, I love you, sounded stupid to his ears. So he said nothing, a dumb mute.

  Josh downed his glass. “Let’s work up an appetite.” They’d picked up Chinese food.

  “Okay,” said Kir in a low, eager voice, in case his silence put Josh off.

  Then Josh was undressing Kir who trembled with anticipation.

  “You are so beautiful.”

  Kir just stared, drowning in Josh’s eyes.

  “Kir, promise me you won’t let anyone hurt you again.”

  “Just you,” Kir managed because his brain seemed to be lacking air.

  Josh stiffened. “I won’t. I refuse to hurt you.”

  “I just want to be with you,” Kir elaborated. “No one else.”

  Josh relaxed then and his hands danced over Kir until Kir lay in his arms and they made love.

  Later they sat on the living-room floor naked, eating noodles and chicken balls in the dark, the city lights their only guide.

  “These taste like shit,” declared Josh, losing interest in most of his meal.

  “You need to eat more. I’ll cook tomorrow.”

  “You will, will you?”

  “After I shop.”

  Josh swallowed his mouthful. “How long do we plan on staying here anyway?”

  Kir frowned. “A few weeks should be safe.”

  “And our strategy to bring the agency down. What about that?”

  Kir looked at Josh in surprise. “What strategy?”

  “That’s the problem,” Josh said grimly, and Kir regretted losing Josh’s warmth. “We need a fucking plan. We can’t just be on the run, because then they’ll chase us.”

  “Well, I have been doing a bit of work.”

  Josh’s gaze sharpened. “Work?”

  “Sending stuff to newspapers. Stuff that can be verified.”

  “You be careful. They’ll trace you.”

  “I’m not stupid.”

  “I would never think you’re stupid, Kir.”

  Kir looked away, embarrassed.

  “Who called you stupid?” asked Josh.

  “Snow,” Kir spat. His guardian, his handler, his pedophile lover. His leg began jigging up and down.

  “I’m glad I killed him.”

  Kir shot Josh a questioning look. “Are you? I didn’t think you were.”

  “After a long winter to think things over, I decided, yes, I was glad to have killed Snow. And Brad.” Josh expression hardened. “Despite their best efforts, I didn’t kill you or even bring you in.”

  Kir crawled over and buried himself in Josh, pressing his face against Josh’s neck. Josh held him and they rested like that for a while. Kir could caress Josh now that they were both sated and he didn’t have to worry about how the sex was scripted. Normal sex, that was. He felt like he had so much to learn in this relationship.

  He listened to Josh’s heartbeat, then nuzzled the pulse in Josh’s throat. Kir’s hands drifted down, counting ribs, finding Josh’s hipbones, enjoying the sensation of exploring Josh’s body with no hurry, no agenda. Josh had less body hair than Kir, but Kir liked the feel of the hair that did dust Josh’s skin. He should explain all this to Josh, but he found it difficult to articulate so he just kissed Josh’s breastbone.

  Beneath him, Josh hardened and Kir went breathless, wishing the slow exploration wasn’t ending, yet anticipating what would come next.

  Josh breathed hot air in his ear. “Just what are you trying to do here, Kir? Wear me out?”

  Kir rose up. “You don’t have to do anything.”

  Josh rubbed Kir’s arms. “Hey, come back here. I like you attached to me.”

  Kir ducked his head back down. Josh’s warm hand came round to massage Kir’s neck, then raised his face so they were looking at each other.

  “You prefer touching me more after sex, than before,” Josh observed.

  “No.” Or at least, it was more complicated than that.

  Josh traced Kir’s lips. “Don’t look stricken. This isn’t a critique, Kir. Everyone has their likes and dislikes. Even me.” Josh rolled Kir on his back and held him down, his expression intense. “Or were you just toying with me earlier?”

  “Toying?” Kir queried.

  Josh looked serious, but amusement lurked in his gray eyes. “You want to touch, you have to pay.” Then Josh overwhelmed him with touch and mouth and cock and Kir submitted to sensation.

  Kir woke in bed. They’d dragged themselves there, leaving Chinese leftovers on the floor. But Josh had already risen and Kir decided Josh needed to sleep more, as well as eat more.

  After breakfast, they discussed which newspapers Kir had approached and how. Josh was impressed by the way Kir had covered his tracks, making Kir glow inside. That turned Josh on and Kir sucked him off because Josh had decided that Kir’s backside needed a break. Kir didn’t argue. Although he could never have enough of Josh’s cock, he was sore and tender.

  Josh surprised Kir by taking him in his mouth at the same time. Later they lay entwined, Kir drawing patterns on Josh’s chest, Kir kissing Josh’s neck, Kir rolling on top of Josh and licking his mouth until Josh laughed and opened for his kiss.

  “After you leave me—” Kir stopped. Why did he have to say that? It was one of his many fears, but that didn’t mean he had to blurt it out. He needed to think first.

  Beneath him, Josh stilled and his face became blank, which unnerved Kir.

  “I’m leaving you.” Josh used his flat tone that hid everything. “Why? What do you know that I don’t?”

  Kir had scared Josh. He didn’t want to do that. Ever. “No.” He gave Josh urgent kisses. “I just mean, you know, we might not last.”

  At that, Josh looked baffled. “You’re already planning our breakup?”

  “No.”

  “Then what?”

  “You’ll get tired of me,” Kir said lamely, unable to say the appropriate thing to end a conversation he should not have started.

  “I will? Huh.” Josh spoke as if Kir had revealed an interesting fact to him. “I’ve never had sex so often in my life. What cues are you picking up that I’m likely to tire of you?”

  “I’m a freak,” Kir burst out because Josh looked offended.

  Josh watched him, but his expression relaxed and Kir
let out a breath of relief.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it aloud. I’m always scared of the future, but from now on I’ll shut up.”

  “Better to speak.” Josh touched Kir’s face gently, as he always did when he wanted to soothe. “I like to know what’s going on behind those gorgeous eyes of yours.” Josh closed Kir’s eyes with his thumbs, then traced the bone below Kir’s lashes.

  “No one has ever responded to me like you do. But maybe it means less to you?” Josh asked.

  “You mean everything to me,” Kir whispered.

  “Okay,” said Josh. “Okay.” And he smiled.

  Chapter Five

  They lasted a week on their own. Josh felt like all he did was eat and have sex, as if he’d been starved of both and couldn’t get enough. He also slept a fair amount because sex relaxed him. Kir, of course, slept with him.

  He watched Kir, to make sure he wanted every touch, caress and fuck Josh gave him. Kir’s history of handing himself over, as his pervert guardian had taught him, scared Josh a little. It was a concern and the onus was on Josh to handle Kir with care.

  Yet Kir was light with joy. As was he, Josh supposed, after that grim winter. He felt light-years different from last summer, though he’d lived with Kir then, and made love to him. Something inside had healed. The scar still felt tender, but it held.

  Face-to-face, Josh shuddered, coming inside Kir. As he leaned forward to kiss Kir on the mouth, someone walked into the apartment and Josh went rigid, his hazy post-sex high shattered.

  “Kir?” yelled a woman as Josh pulled out in shock.

  “It’s okay.” Kir wrapped himself around Josh. “It’s Maddie.”

  “Shit.” Panic bloomed in Josh’s chest. After his winter in the park, he’d thought to be past his fear. What bullshit.

  “It’s okay,” repeated Kir. “Don’t come in here,” he yelled as his sister approached the open bedroom door and he yanked the cover over Josh.

  She marched right in. “You idiot, Kir. How could you bring a total stranger…” Her mouth hung open for a moment. “Is that Josh?”

  Kir climbed over Josh. “Get the fuck out. I’ll be with you in a moment.”