Hope Falls_If I Fall

by SJ McCoy

  “Classy! Real classy.”

  “What can I say? I attract ’em wherever I go.”

  “Yeah, I thought you were with a girl from the DA’s office?”

  “I was.” He shrugged. “It wasn’t going anywhere. I don’t have time for anything serious. Neither does Anna.” Even as he said it, he knew that wasn’t entirely true. Anna had been making noises for months about wanting more. He hadn’t wanted more. Not with her. Not with anyone. He didn’t have time. His work was his life. He sighed. At least, it had been. Patrick had been trying to convince him that his life should be more than that. And then he’d gone and died—making his point abundantly clear.

  Eric was watching him closely. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. Sorry, man. It’s just…Patrick.” He was surprised to feel his eyes prick. “It hit me hard, I guess.”

  Eric grasped his shoulder. “I’m sorry. He was a great man. I don’t believe he’d want you to mourn. He’d want you to take everything he taught you and do great things.”

  Sully met his friend’s gaze. He wondered if Eric would understand. Eric was devoting his life to service. He was Chief of Police. But he’d also found the right woman and had a life, too. “I used to think that great things could only be achieved at work. Patrick had been trying to convince me for a while that true greatness in life isn’t found at work, but with your family. I’m not cut out for that.”

  The way Eric smiled told him that he more than understood. He grasped Sully’s shoulder a little tighter. “I didn’t think I was either, until Lily. Don’t get me wrong; I still love what I do. It’s part of who I am, but so is Lily, so is our life together. She’s everything. If that’s what Patrick was telling you, then I’d have to agree. The greatest, most important things in life aren’t found at work, but at home, with your woman and your family.”

  Sully stared at him. He didn’t know what to say. Not so long ago he would have dismissed such talk, but life seemed to be trying to get the message through to him, and coming from the mouths of the people he most respected, Patrick, Manny, and now Eric, he had to at least acknowledge the possibility.

  Chapter Four

  Tessa stood back and looked Jess over. “You look fabulous—as always.”

  “You’re just too sweet,” said Jess, embarrassed to be complimented. “You are the one who looks fabulous! I would never have had you down as the one who’d settle into small town life with a husband and kids and everything. It suits you.” The Tessa she had known had always been the nurturing kind, but she’d never talked about wanting to settle down.

  Tessa grinned. “I never thought I could have what I really wanted; it just took coming back here to find out that not only was it possible, but it’s so much better than I ever even dreamed.”

  She did look well, marriage and motherhood obviously suited her.

  “Anyway, what about you? What have you been up to? Where have you been? Last I heard you were in Arizona. I’m thrilled you’re here, but when I sent you that email about Gina I hardly expected you to show up a day later.” She smiled. “And especially not in the company of a gorgeous guy like that! I’m sorry I dragged you away, but you have to tell me all about him.”

  “I wish I could! I don’t know the first thing about him.”

  Tessa looked puzzled so Jess explained how she’d met Sully at the gas station in Tahoe and then been shocked to see him again on Main Street when she arrived in Hope Falls. She shrugged. “We’d just gotten to a first name basis when you showed up.”

  “What’s he doing here? How long is he staying?” asked Tessa.

  Jess shrugged again. “Like I said, we hadn’t gotten that far.”

  Tessa stared off into the distance. They’d rushed back here to her house from Sue Ann’s because she’d asked her sister-in-law to watch the little ones while she came out to meet Jess. Now the children were sleeping, and they were sitting outside in the back yard. “Who would know, who would know, who would know?” Tessa muttered to herself.

  “You’re still talking to yourself, then?”

  “Of course.” Tessa smiled. “That won’t ever change. Maybe I should call Sue Ann. She’d be able to fill us in on this Sully of yours.”

  “No, don’t do that!” Jess didn’t like that idea at all. She didn’t want to go snooping around, and besides, she had a feeling life would throw her a line. You didn’t just bump into someone like that three times in one day without it leading somewhere. She wasn’t one to force things along. She’d rather wait and see what happened. He had said he’d see her around. And she believed him.

  She looked up at the sound of a man’s voice from inside the house.

  “I’m back!”

  Tessa’s smile lit up her face. “Out here,” she called in a much quieter tone. She turned to Jess. “I can’t wait for you to meet Jake.”

  When he stepped outside, Jess smiled. He was a good-looking guy, to say the least. He went straight to Tessa and dropped a kiss on her lips, his smile matching hers. Jess felt like a spare part for a moment. They were lost in their own little world. They appeared to be having an unspoken conversation, and she had no idea what was being said. She didn’t feel uncomfortable. It did make her wonder what it would be like to have that kind of connection with someone.

  Jake turned to greet her. “Hi. It’s good to meet you.”

  “You, too,” she replied. “And thank you.”

  “What for?”

  She laughed. “For doing what I thought was impossible. For making my friend happy.”

  He smiled at Tessa. “She’s the one who made me happy.”

  Tessa smiled back. “It took us long enough, but we got there.” She squeezed Jake’s hand. “Do you know anything about a guy named Sully who’s staying at Sue Ann’s?”

  “He came then, did he? Eric said he might, but he didn’t think he’d actually take the time off.”

  Jess exchanged a look with Tessa.

  Jake looked at their expectant faces. “Oh. Sorry. He was Eric’s roommate in college. He works for the FBI. He transferred to the Sacramento field office a while ago and had kept threatening to come visit. From what Eric said, his boss died, and he was talking about taking some time off. He lives for his work, so Eric didn’t believe he’d come.”

  Jess nodded as she took in all this information. So, she hadn’t been too far off the mark thinking he was like a bodyguard. He worked for the FBI.

  Tessa smiled at her. “So now you know.”

  Jake looked at his wife inquiringly.

  “Jess met him on the way up here, then again at Sue Ann’s. They were about to get to know each other over a cup of coffee when I showed up and spoiled things.”

  Jess held up a hand. “You didn’t spoil anything. I came here to see you!”

  “I know, but I felt like I spoiled things. The look he gave you when we left…”

  Jess felt herself blush.

  Jake laughed. “Well, I’m sure you’ll see him again. He’s here to visit my brother, and even if he weren’t, it’d be hard not to run into each other in this town.”

  Jess didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. Even if it felt like one. She meant what she’d said. She’d come here to see Tessa, and to meet her husband, who seemed like a great guy and was obviously deeply in love with her. She shrugged. “We’ll see. Enough of that, though. I want to hear all about how you two got together.”

  Jake and Tessa exchanged another look that left her feeling like they’d checked out, gone to a place where no one but the two of them existed. She had to wonder what that would be like, to share a secret inner world with someone. She just didn’t need to wonder what it would be like if Sully were the one she shared it with. That was crazy thinking!

  ~ ~ ~

  Sully looked around him, taking in his surroundings as he walked down Main Street later that evening. This place still felt like a movie set. He liked it. He’d enjoyed catching up with Eric earlier, but he hadn’t wanted to join him this evening
. Apparently Eric played hoops once a week with his brother and what sounded like a whole clan of brothers-in-law and extended family. Sully played, but he didn’t feel like meeting a bunch of people and making small talk tonight.

  He wanted to be by himself. He had a lot of thinking to do. He smiled. Instead of reflecting on Patrick’s death and Patrick’s advice as he’d intended to, all he wanted to think about was the beautiful ditzy blonde he’d met today. Jess. Jess Archer, according to Eric.

  He was intrigued. She was beautiful, but by his usual standards that was all he should find attractive about her. By her own admission she was a scatterbrain and from what he could gather, she was a drifter. She’d told Sue Ann in the café that the motorhome was her home. He’d gathered from Eric that she was a photographer, an old friend of his sister-in-law who was also a photographer. That was as much as he knew about her, well that and the fact that she was kind and compassionate, judging by the way she’d helped the old guy in the wheelchair. None of that described the kind of woman he normally went for. His usual type was more high-powered, well dressed, composed. And now that he thought about it, kindness and compassion hadn’t been notable qualities in any of the women he’d dated. He shook his head as he walked—what did that say about him?

  Who knew? He sure as hell didn’t. All he knew right now was that he couldn’t get her out of his mind. He stopped and stared, wondering if the motorhome pulling into a spot a little further down the street was a product of his imagination. Apparently not. He watched her climb out and hurried toward her, wondering as he did if she’d be as pleased to see him as he was to see her.

  The smile on her face when she turned and saw him answered that question in no uncertain terms. “Well, hello again, again!”

  “We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” he said.

  “We do?” she looked disappointed.

  “Don’t get me wrong. I love bumping into you every time I turn around, but I was thinking we could maybe plan something, too.”

  She grinned. “I’d like that.”

  Wow. She really was different from his usual type. She wasn’t going to play coy, or make him work for it. He was a little taken aback.

  “So, what do you think we should plan?”

  “Well, I was about to go back to the café and get some dinner. Have you eaten? Would you like to join me?”

  She looked him up and down. For a moment he thought she was about to refuse, but then she smiled. “Sure. I was coming in search of something to eat.”

  “Great, let’s try this again then, shall we?” He offered her his arm as he’d done this afternoon and started walking toward Sue Ann’s.

  Chapter Five

  Sully was surprised how crowded the café was when they stepped inside. All the tables were occupied, and there were a few people waiting. He loved the atmosphere of the place. It felt almost like a big family gathering. They’d have to wait if they wanted to enjoy it, though.

  Sue Ann hurried over when she spotted them. “You can just go on up; you don’t need to come through here.”

  He smiled. “We were hoping to get dinner, but it looks like you’re busy.”

  Sue Ann surveyed the crowded room with a smile. “We are, and I hate to say it, but it’s going to be a while.” She turned back to them. “I can bring your order upstairs if you’d like. It’s only seating we’re short on.”

  Sully looked at Jess, wondering how she would feel about that. Going out for dinner with a guy she’d just met was one thing. Going to his place for dinner was another. Would she feel comfortable?

  He needn’t have worried. She nodded. “That sounds great. Thank you.”

  Okay then, so she wasn’t worried in the least. He smiled at Sue Ann. “Thanks. We’ll get a drink and put our order in before we go up.” He didn’t want her or her staff having to run up and down the stairs after them.

  He opened the door and let Jess enter ahead of him. She wandered around with a smile on her face. “This place is great! It suits you.”

  He laughed. “It does, doesn’t it? I have to say I’m impressed with it.”

  “Me, too.”

  He gestured toward the sofa. “Do you want to sit?”

  She laughed, sounding nervous for the first time. “I guess so.” She looked a little uncomfortable as she took a seat. “I’m sorry, I’m just realizing that I probably shouldn’t have agreed to come up here with you, should I?”

  The thought had occurred to him. He raised an eyebrow and waited.

  “Well, I don’t know you. You could be anyone. It might not be safe. But I suppose I should admit that I do know a little bit about you. Small towns are like that. I know that you’re an FBI agent—so you’re more likely to be catching bad guys than to be one.” Her smile faded. “And I know that you just lost someone who was important to you. I’m sorry.”

  He nodded, wishing she hadn’t brought that up. “Thank you. I suppose I don’t have to lecture you about going home with a strange guy since you already know my background.”

  “You’d lecture me?”

  He laughed. “No, but part of me wanted to. I don’t like the idea of you putting yourself in danger.” He stopped once the words were out, realizing just how much he hated the idea of her being in any kind of danger. He wondered if he should have said it out loud.

  “Thank you.” She was smiling again. “I’m not used to anyone giving a damn, so that’s kind of...nice.”

  He took a seat in the armchair across from her, deciding it was more appropriate than sitting on the sofa beside her like he wanted to. “You surprise me. I would have thought there would be someone somewhere worrying about you and what you’re up to. Wondering where in the world you and your motorhome are.”

  She smiled sadly. “Nope. Not a soul.”

  He raised an eyebrow. He didn’t think she was simply reassuring him that she was single though he got the impression that was part of it.

  She shrugged. “I don’t have a family. I do have friends, people like Tessa dotted around the country, but they know I’m a wanderer. They never know where I am, nor do they worry about me.”

  He nodded. “So how long have you been living in that thing?”

  She laughed. “There’s no need to sound like that. I love that thing. I’ve only had it a few months. I was living in Tucson for a while before that.”

  “And you didn’t leave anyone behind in Tucson?” Sully knew he was asking a lot of questions, but it was what he did, and she didn’t seem to mind.

  She shrugged. “No one that mattered. I did try to have a normal life there for a while. You know, a boyfriend, a roommate. I didn’t quite get it right, and when I figured out that the boyfriend was sleeping with the roommate, I gave up and came back to the life I’m good at—wandering.”

  She didn’t sound as though she’d been deeply hurt, but maybe she was covering up. “And what do you plan to do next?”

  She laughed. “I don’t plan. It never works out when I try, so I just go with the flow. I’m here to see Tessa. I’ll stay for as long as it feels right and then I think I might head up to Montana. I have another friend up there I’d like to see. She lives just outside Yellowstone. I’d like to spend some time there with my camera.”

  Sully couldn’t imagine living life that way. He was uncomfortable with the fact that he didn’t know how long he would be staying in Hope Falls, even though he knew that at most it would be for a couple of weeks and when he left he’d be going back to Sacramento, to his job, his apartment, and his life. He didn’t want to start examining his own feelings right now, however. He was more interested in Jess. “So, that’s how you support yourself? With your photography?”

  She nodded. “I’m fortunate to freelance for some of the big magazines, and I work with a couple of galleries in New York and San Francisco, who sell my fine art work.”

  She must be good. He didn’t know much about the world of photography, but he did know that it didn’t pay much unless you had great contact
s and huge talent.

  She smiled. “Is this interview over yet, officer?”

  He laughed. “I’m sorry. I guess it comes naturally. Tell you what, how about we turn the tables? Ask me anything you want to know.”

  She smiled. “Do you want to come for a hike with me tomorrow?”

  He stared at her for a moment. He’d been expecting questions about his life, his work, something like that. He smiled. “I’d love to.” He looked into her eyes as he spoke. What was it about this woman that had him so off-kilter?

  There was a knock at the door. He was grateful for it. Sitting there looking into her eyes like that, he was thinking crazy thoughts about taking Patrick’s advice and driving off into the sunset in a motorhome!

  He went to get the door. Sue Ann came in with a smile and a tray. She quickly set the table and laid out their food. “Do you need anything else?”

  He looked at Jess who shook her head. “We’re great, thanks. I appreciate this.”

  “My pleasure. Just give me a call when you want me to clear the dishes, or leave it till morning if you prefer.” She closed the door behind her with a smile.

  Jess came over to the table and lifted the lids on the plates. She’d ordered meatloaf and mashed potatoes. It looked wonderful. Sully wasn’t normally a fan of diner food. He’d gone for the chili, and it smelled delicious. “Shall we?” He started to pull out a chair for her.

  She grinned at him. He was already getting used to the way she did that. She was open and upfront, genuine in her enthusiasm not putting on any kind of front to impress him. “I think food like this is meant to be eaten on the sofa, not at the table, don’t you?” Without waiting for his reply, she picked up her plate and took it over to the sitting area where she plonked herself down, folded her legs underneath her and balanced her plate on her lap.

  Sully had to smile. Why not? Why the hell not? He picked up his plate and followed her. She was a breath of fresh air. She was just what he needed, and he was enjoying this. He was enjoying himself more than he had in a long time, a very long time.