Nocturne

by Heather McKenzie

  “Really?” he said with a slight accent I couldn’t place. “You have to ask? Because of your father. I hate him just as much as Rayna does, and just as much as every single person working for her does. He killed my wife. I lost everything because of him.” Venom in his voice made the spit foam in the corners of his mouth. “There is nothing to lose and everything to gain by making Henry Lowen suffer. The pay cut I’ll get when you’re dead is just a bonus.”

  I pretended his words didn’t bother me. “You are prepared to kill an innocent person for revenge and money?”

  A smile crept over his face when he caught me noticing the tattoo. “We all are. The guy you’re in love with… Luke, right? Yah. I heard all about you and him. He’s a part of us, too, ya know—The Right Choice Group. He took orders from Rayna. He was fully prepared to kidnap you and hand you over knowing it would be the death of you.”

  I felt like all the wind had been knocked from my lungs. “You don’t know him,” I said, voice catching in my throat.

  “No. You don’t know him,” the man sneered.

  For a brief second, we stared each other down. “My wife didn’t deserve to die,” he said. “She is what I am fighting for.”

  He dove his hand into his jacket pocket.

  I pulled the trigger.

  The kickback tossed me into the pellet bag. When I righted myself, I saw that in his hand was a photograph. Worn. Edges frayed. And now becoming soaked with his blood as it ran out from his lifeless body. It was a picture of a woman. A pretty woman with blonde hair. He’d been trying to show me a picture of his wife, and I’d shot him.

  I realized as I stepped across the barn floor littered with gore that, apparently, I wasn’t bothered by that. Or the sight of blood anymore.

  Huh.

  Riding a horse was not on my bucket list. The giant beasts had minds of their own and no brake pedals. I’d been on one with Thomas, but he was in control. Riding one on my own? I didn’t dare it. Zander would only be used as a shield and a distraction, so I could get out of the barn. There were at least two men and Rayna waiting for me to make a move, so the horse would cover me as I headed for the trees and led them away from the house.

  I thought it was a good plan. Zander didn’t. We had some very heated discussions until somehow, I won the argument and got the bit in his mouth. Once the reins were clipped to his bridle, I coaxed him out of his stall as his ears flipped around in agitation. He could feel the tension in the air and started pulling back on the reins. I stayed calm, leading him toward the bodies on the barn floor while speaking gently. He reluctantly fell in step beside me only to stop so suddenly my feet almost left the ground; the onslaught of gunfire erupting from outside made him violently toss his head up, knocking the shotgun from my hand. As I struggled to get a hold of his reins, rapid gunfire went off like fireworks. It was a call and answer, but I had no idea who was shooting at who.

  Then it stopped. The eerie silence that followed was just as unsettling. Gathering my breath, I fought to contain blind panic about Thomas’s safety.

  Zander settled down. “Good horsey.” I patted his muscled neck. Heavy breathing from me and him was the only sound for what seemed like miles and minutes until a lithe shadow appeared in the barn entrance. Then the air crackled with tension. I knew who it was. And I was ready.

  The woman in the barn entrance, light streaming in around her disguising her as an angel, hissed my name. “Kaya,” she said.

  My knees almost buckled, and I clutched Zander’s reins tighter… Some memory deep within dragged her voice into my ears and held on to it for dear life, even though I knew it was poison disguised as the sweetest candy.

  “You must be… Rayna.” I was barely able to get her name past my lips. I was shaking. The child in me wanted to run to her, but the adult in me held back. She wanted me dead. Dead. I eyed the shotgun, now out of my reach. After a moment of panic, I remembered I had two handguns at my waistband. Without giving myself a chance for a second thought, I readied one in my hand. But I pointed it at the ground.

  “Well, well, it’s nice to finally meet you Miss Kaya Lowen,” Rayna said coldly, and I knew her silky voice would remain stuck in my ears for as long as I lived. She put her hands up in defense, eyeing the gun in my hand. “I came to you unarmed.”

  She moved slowly, assuredly, completely unfazed by the intermittent exchange of bullets erupting outside, solely focused on me.

  “Just stop right there…”

  She ignored my warning, stepping over a puddle of red on the ground, not even glancing at the man dead at her feet. She reminded me of that cougar on the mountain, deadly, ready to pounce…

  Zander swayed. I held his reins tightly. “I mean it. Don’t come any closer or I’ll shoot you.” I aimed at her head. A pigeon flew madly through the rafters. The hay and blood scented air grew colder. Then Rayna laughed, and every hair on the back of my neck stood on end—I felt like I might vomit.

  “You won’t shoot me, darling,” she said sweetly. “I am your mother.”

  And there it was. Confirmation. The words spoken aloud stabbing me like razor-sharp daggers, finding their mark to pierce the last remaining piece of my heart.

  My mother.

  She took another step closer.

  “What do you want with me?” I asked. Already knowing the answer but needing to hear it.

  I could see her face more clearly now. Bright green eyes and the same bone structure as mine, black wavy hair and fine-boned hands—the resemblance was disturbing. I felt like I was looking in a very cruel mirror.

  “I just want to save you from your horrible father,” she said bitterly. “You know what he’s doing, right? His research is deplorable. Unethical. Drug testing on human beings with his vile—”

  I cut her off. I didn’t need encouragement to hate Henry. “And you think killing me is the answer?”

  Zander huffed when Rayna sidestepped the body of the man I’d shot—the one with the cross around his neck. She glanced down, noting the photo in his hand, then shrugged off whatever emotion it briefly aroused. “Listen, I don’t know what lies your head is filled with, but these men…” She motioned to the three dead on the barn floor. “They don’t work for me. They kidnapped me. I was just trying to get to you, to save you. I would never harm my own child.”

  Lies, lies, lies… The gun shook in my hand. Lies. Those were things I could still feel. But…

  “Put down the gun, sweetheart. Come closer so I can see your pretty face,” she said sweetly.

  And my arm dropped to my side. I didn’t want it to, but logic defied me. I felt like I’d fallen under a spell.

  “That’s a good girl,” Rayna said. A cat grinning at a mouse. “I’ve missed you so much, Kaya.”

  My head spun with the sudden reasoning that maybe this woman didn’t want to kill me. Maybe upon seeing me, she’d changed her mind. A ray of hope started to shine that maybe, maybe we could be family… I remained glued to the ground, emotions racing. The horse next to me tossed his head up and down, clearly uneased by her presence. Rayna glanced quickly around, making sure we were still alone. “Guns terrify me darling. Please put yours down.”

  As if in a dream, I tossed it into Zander’s stall.

  Rayna’s eyes narrowed on me, and her graceful hand gathered her thick hair behind her shoulders. I noticed blood on her neck and a wound on her wrist; she wasn’t unarmed on purpose. She was hiding in here, like I was, from whatever was going on outside.

  “Aw, my poor baby girl. Stolen from me when you were only two weeks old. You’ve no idea what I’ve gone through,” she purred, and now she was mere feet away.

  I felt like my adult skin had shed and beneath was a child again. Her hands reached for me. My mother’s hands reached for me… Her fingernails were polished to a diamond shine. Her clothes form fitting, black pants with a tight black sweater down past her hips and a wide belt around her tiny waist…were inviting me to come closer. The overwhelming thought I could touc
h her and put my head against her chest numbed all sense of reality. She might lovingly stroke my hair… because she was real…because she was my mother.

  “Now, come here sweetheart.”

  But when her eyes bore into mine, what I was expecting and hoping to see wasn’t there. Something vicious danced in her pupils. They were dark stars, raging fires fueled by revenge. “Finally,” she breathed, “I have waited so long to do this…”

  Before I understood what was happening, a knife appeared in her hands and she lunged at me, aiming for my heart. Only because of Zander was I alive. He reared up, throwing his front legs at her and blocking a fatal plunge. Rayna stumbled back before Zander’s hoof connected with her head.

  “Oh my God,” I stuttered in shock of my stupidity; this woman wanted to slice me into pieces. Such hatred poured from her it almost doubled me over.

  “I’m going to mess you up so bad,” she said with an ecstatic smile, and the blade gripped in her hand shone. “Henry won’t even recognize you when I’m done.”

  I pulled the other gun out from the back of my waistband and aimed. Upon seeing it, her momentum for killing me was put on pause. I pointed the barrel at her chest because shooting her in the head would be too merciful.

  “You won’t do it. You’re weak,” she spat, and cherry-red lipstick clung to her front teeth.

  Weak… there was that word again. It brought me fully to my senses. I steadied the gun, knowing the bullet would land dead center of her black heart. She deserved to be killed. Dustin and Marie, our friends… that innocent man at the motel… she deserved to have her brains blown out, just like her minions had done to them, just like she had tried to do to me, just like the man with the cross around his neck did who said he was fighting for his wife…

  But I froze. I couldn’t pull the trigger. I wasn’t weak… and I wasn’t a murderer.

  Rayna smirked. Backing away and heading toward the doors, she began laughing like I’d told her the best joke in the world. “Oh hell, don’t look so bummed out, sweetheart. It will all be over soon. I’ll make sure of it. I’ll get rid of the annoyances outside first, then I’ll come back for you and we can have another heart to heart.”

  “Stop…” My voice sounded pathetic and high pitched. I still had my aim on her, but my hand was shaking so violently I doubted I’d hit my mark.

  At the doors, she turned around, her head tilted as she studied me. “You remind me of him…” she spat. “And it’s disgusting.”

  Then she disappeared out into the sunlight.

  I didn’t move for the longest time. Chaos continued outside, and Zander stood patiently next to me. I wondered if I’d become nothing more than skin and bones. Because left in my mother’s wake, I was now just an empty shell with only a single thought—kill her.

  It took a minute to adjust my eyes to the light. The sky was almost white and the snow-covered ground the same blinding color. Zander’s massive body flanked mine as we left the barn and headed outside past the bunkhouse. I hoped that among all the other horses scattered about, no one would pay attention to him or notice me taking cover at his side.

  I held the gun in my right hand and Zander’s reins in the other; I’d like to think I was the one in control, but essentially, he was leading me and only allowing me to tag along. He was heading for the house, not even remotely affected by me trying to direct him toward the trees. Now out in the open, I had to stay glued to his side. Why wasn’t he running off like the other horses? Why was he so determined to go to the house?

  Then it hit me. He wanted Ben.

  Gunfire erupted again, and Zander reared up, but I was ready this time, not letting go of the reins. Between his lifted hooves, I caught a glimpse of a man crouched behind the black car in the driveway as he fired at a truck parked on the road. Who was in the truck? Had Henry found me? Was this my luckiest day ever and the family reunion of my dreams was about to commence? I hoped someone brought the potato salad…

  Zander’s body was a barrier between me and the black car as he practically dragged me to the porch steps of the house. I ran to keep up, only to stop dead next to him when the front door flew open. Without hesitation, I took aim, but it wasn’t who I’d expected. Thomas stood there with the knife I’d left in his palm now at his neck and held there by a burly man with tattooed cheeks. I was hoping for Rayna, eager to blow her head off. I eased my finger off the trigger.

  “Toss the gun or I’ll cut him ear to ear,” the burly man said. Sweat clung like raindrops to the end of his nose. His cheeks were covered in cartoon characters, so were his hands. Aiming at a grown man decorated in Pokémons seemed wrong. Until the knife he held to Thomas’s neck produced the tiniest drip of blood…

  I steadied my aim.

  Thomas’s eyes were bleary, but he was conscious. After assessing his well-being, I studied the burly man, picking the best spot to aim. I could hear someone far off in the distance, a female voice perhaps, calling my name, but I couldn’t let it cloud up my head. I shut every sound out of my ears—horse’s hooves, bullets firing, the icy wind, the squeal of a mini-pig from somewhere by the barn… Instead, I watched the burly man’s heartbeat pulsing at the base of his throat. He bared his teeth. “Put it down,” he growled.

  Thomas didn’t struggle against the blade held to his throat. I knew this scene; I’d had the starring role in it once and the scars to prove it. If I miscalculated, Thomas would be dead.

  “Run, Kaya,” he said softly. “Don’t worry about me… just run.”

  Run? Nope. I wanted more moments with him, dancing under trees, swimming in lakes, laughing by fires, and savoring the warmth of his body in my bed at night. No way would I leave him.

  I smiled. “Nah, I kinda like you, Thomas.”

  The big man’s attention momentarily drifted to whatever was happening behind me; the gunfire had stopped, and Zander grew stone still. I gave Thomas a slight nod, hopefully alerting him to what I was about to do, and he closed his eyes. I focused on the man’s wrinkled forehead, and the small mole there between Pikachu and Bulbasaur dead center like a bull’s eye… and then I shot him.

  My aim was true.

  Thomas now stood on the porch steps, the knife at his feet and the burly man missing a substantial portion of his head on the ground behind him. I dove forward, getting my shoulders to Thomas’s chest before he fell. “You have to get off these steps…” I said, guiding him away from the porch.

  “You’re one scary chick. Where did you learn to shoot like that?” He was wobbly and barely able to stand, his weight too much for me to keep holding up. He rubbed at his neck and almost fell backward.

  “Get on the horse,” I demanded.

  The world around us had grown quiet. Where was the man who had been behind the black car? Where was Rayna? I cupped my hands together to give Thomas a leg up. When he was on Zander’s back, I grabbed the reins and led the way around to the back of the house. Across from Marlene’s garden was a band of trees. Thomas could head there and hide.

  “Can you ride?” I asked breathlessly, ankle deep in fresh snow. Zander huffed and tossed up his head. I struggled to restrain him.

  “Of course I can ride,” Thomas said quickly, but the tremor in his voice said otherwise. “I can do that half dead and in my sleep. But of all the horses to pick … this one?”

  Gunfire. Again. Bullets ripped through the air and a female voice was yelling, strangely familiar, and yet I had to ignore it. I had to get Thomas out of here. “Get to the poor man’s sauna. I’ll come get you as soon as I can.”

  Thomas leaned forward on Zander, and he latched onto my hand when I offered him the reins. “Nope. I’m not leaving without you. And if you drug me again, our friendship is over.”

  “I was just doing what I had to do,” I said coldly. “Just get somewhere safe. I’ll take care of this and make it all up to you later.”

  Thomas forced a laugh. “Make it up to me, eh? I can’t wait for that.”

  He was so unsteady I thoug
ht he might fall off the horse. When the gunfire ceased and silence gripped the air, his fingers tightened around mine. “Or you could make it up to me now,” he said quickly.

  He could barely sit up, was hurt, confused, still drugged, and trying to hide his fear; I couldn’t send him off alone. I had no choice but to get on the horse with him. As much as I wanted to find Rayna, Thomas had to be my priority.

  Zander stayed remarkably still while I got on and in front of Thomas. With one arm around my waist and the other holding the reins, Thomas issued a command and Zander was trotting. With every ounce of strength I could muster, I squeezed my legs tight, desperately holding on to keep balance for the both of us. Once in the thicket of trees, cattle trails snaked off in many directions. I felt Thomas slipping and barked at him.

  “If you fall, I fall.”

  He jolted upright and started to shiver. “Sorry. I’m good.”

  I wound my hand tightly in Zander’s mane. “Will this path take us to the lake?” I asked, needing to get him warm soon. He was only in a T-shirt and jeans, thankfully not barefoot.

  “Yeah. It just takes longer.”

  Zander slowed beneath the canopy of low-hanging branches. The barn, the bunkhouse, the road, and pretty much everything at the back end of the ranch was coming in and out of view alongside us as we rode. When I heard my name on the wind again, shrill and desperate, I knew Thomas heard it, too, because he gave Zander a kick to the ribs. We moved faster into the thicket and onto the trail that twisted between the stand of birch trees.

  Thomas was trembling. Twice, I had to smack him when I felt him falling asleep. He leaned so heavily on me my muscles were aching for release. “You all right, Thomas?” I asked when I felt his arm loosen and his body shift behind me.

  He cleared his throat. “I’d be better if I could see straight, my head didn’t throb, sleep wasn’t knocking at my door, and a bunch of dudes weren’t trying to kill the chick I’m into.”