Into Magnolia (Sandy Cove Series Book 3)

by Rosemary Hines

  Amber’s mom sat in front, and nervously cleared her throat periodically as if to say words that never followed. A dark sky had fulfilled its promise of rain, and the steady drone of the drops, coupled with the rhythmic swipes of the windshield wipers had a hypnotic effect on the three of them.

  Amber gazed out her window, her stomach in knots. She didn’t know what frightened her most – the idea of handing over her baby to a stranger, or the thought of trying to be a parent herself. The arguments bantered back and forth in her mind.

  If I go through with this, it’ll all be over in a few months. I can start my life over and be a kid again.

  Right, Amber. Like you’ll ever have that chance. Even without a baby, you’ll probably end up taking care of your mother and brother. And you’ll feel guilty for the rest of your life for giving away your kid.

  But if I don’t give him up, how will I take care of him? I haven’t even gone to high school yet. I won’t have a job, and even if I could find one, who would take care of him while I’m at work? My mom can barely take care of us, much less a baby.

  You’ll think about him all the time and never even know if he’s okay. What if his adoptive parents abuse him or abandon him like your dad did? You won’t be there to rescue him. He could end up in foster care, and you know what that’s like.

  Amber cringed. I wish someone would just tell me what to do. How am I supposed to make this decision?

  She rested her head back and closed her eyes, allowing the warmth of the car and the sound of the rain to cause her to drift to sleep.

  “Amber, wake up,” her mother’s voice penetrated her fog. “We’re here.”

  She rubbed her eyes and looked out the window. They were in the parking lot of a high-rise building. The rain had eased to a slight drizzle, and Bonnie found a parking place near the entrance. “Ready?” she asked.

  Stacy looked at Amber. “Ready, honey?”

  “Yeah.” Amber unfastened her seatbelt and pushed open the door. The three of them hustled from their spot to the covering of the walkway awning leading to the large glass door.

  As they approached, the door automatically slid open, and the welcoming warmth of the foyer met them. Bonnie led them to the elevator and pressed the button for the 4th floor.

  Soon the receptionist was ushering them into a large office with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the foliage that framed the complex.

  She offered them coffee or water, which they declined. “Ms. Blake will be right with you,” she promised as she left them sitting in chairs that faced the large desk.

  A few moments later, Veronica Blake walked in and introduced herself. Bonnie took the lead in returning the introductions. “And this is Amber,” she concluded.

  “So I understand you are considering adoption for your baby,” Ms. Blake said to Amber.

  She nodded, feeling like she might lose her breakfast any moment. In addition to her churning stomach, she thought she felt the baby move.

  “It’s a tough decision, and one to consider thoughtfully,” the attorney continued. “There are many couples who are eager to adopt. Most of them are unable to have their own children, and we connect them with babies needing a loving home.”

  “How do you know the people who adopt the babies are going to be good parents?” Amber asked.

  “We work with social services to screen all our adoptive couples. They spend time in counseling sessions, and they undergo home visits before and after the adoption to assure that the babies are in safe homes and getting off to a good start.”

  She paused and seemed to be studying Amber. “What are your biggest concerns?” she asked.

  “What happens if the couple gets a divorce or something? Or what if they abuse or abandon the baby? Does the birth mother know? Does she get a second chance to have the baby back?”

  Ms. Blake raised her eyebrows. “You’ve really thought about this. I’m glad to see that.

  “First, let me say that once an adoption is finalized, the baby’s family becomes like any other family. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in life. It’s sad but true that some of our adoptive couples do end up getting divorced.

  “And, like in the case of any divorce with kids involved, there are custody issues that need to be resolved. Usually the couples opt for some kind of shared custody, but sometimes the child ends up being raised in a single-parent home.

  “I’ve never encountered a situation where one of the babies we placed was abused or abandoned. To be honest, those incidents are usually found among the birth mothers who opt to keep their babies. However, just like any other normal family, if abuse or abandonment are discovered, social services intervenes.”

  Amber sat forward. “But what about the birth mother then? Can she take the baby back?”

  The attorney shook her head. “Usually the birth mother has no follow up contact or information about the baby once the adoption is finalized.”

  “But sometimes they do?” she asked.

  “Sometimes, yes. We have arranged open adoptions where the birth mother is able to stay in limited contact with the adoptive parents. All communication goes through our office, and it usually involves exchanges of letters and pictures.

  “Occasionally, adoptive parents agree to one or two follow up meetings with the birth mother at a neutral location like a park, just to reassure her that all is well with the baby’s new family.”

  “What is your recommendation in that regard?” Bonnie asked.

  “I usually recommend that the birth mother completely release the adoptive family from further communication or meetings. It seems best for all parties involved if they can move forward with starting their new lives fresh and unencumbered.”

  Amber slumped back in her chair and rested her hand on her swollen middle. For a moment, all was silent. Then Ms. Blake got up and walked around to the front of the desk, leaning back against it slightly.

  “Amber, I know this is a really hard decision for you. One thing that most of my birth mothers find helpful is compiling scrapbooks of sorts for their babies. They include a letter, some photographs, etc. and give it to the adoptive parents to give to the child at the time they deem most suitable.

  “Sometimes that is around school age, when they explain to their child that he or she is adopted. Sometimes it is when the child reaches maturity at 18 or 21 years of age.

  “The point of the book is to communicate to your baby your love for him and your desire that he have the best life possible.” She looked Amber in the eye. “Would that be something you might like to do?”

  Amber nodded, tears starting to blur her vision.

  Veronica handed her a tissue and continued, “Would it help to look at some of the applications we have in our files? We put our couples into photo albums. You can see a picture of each of them and pertinent information like careers, hobbies and interests, other children in the family – some of the benefits each couple is able to offer a child.”

  Amber nodded again. She rubbed the tears from her eyes. “Yeah. I’d like to look at them.”

  Ms. Blake walked around her desk to the bookcase behind it. She retrieved a large binder from the bottom shelf and walked back over to Amber. Pulling up a chair, she sat down beside her and placed the album in Amber’s lap. Amber’s mom, Stacy, scooted closer to her daughter to look at the album, too.

  They paged slowly through the applications, studying the faces of the eager couples and perusing their forms. As Amber read about the potential homes for her baby, she couldn’t help but contrast them with the meager potential of her own.

  “This couple adopted another child from us four years ago,” the attorney said, pointing to a photograph of a family of three. “They are now looking to adopt a sibling for their daughter.”

  Amber looked closely at the smiling faces of mother, father, and child. This is what a family is supposed to look like, she thought to herself. Then she tried to picture her mom, her brother, and herself with a baby in her a
rms.

  Maybe this was for the best. But how would she pick a couple from all of these? How could she know who would be best for her baby boy?

  She continued paging through the book, carefully studying the faces of the couples and glancing over their forms. Overwhelmed by the magnitude of her decision, she handed the heavy volume back to the attorney.

  As she sat back in her chair, the baby growing in her womb began moving. “I need time to think,” she said, directing her comment to Bonnie.

  “That’s fine, honey. We’re just here to give you an idea of this option.” Bonnie turned her attention to Veronica Blake. “Thank you for your time. We’ll be in touch.” She stood and shook hands with her.

  Amber and her mother followed suit, and soon they were back in the car headed home. As they pulled into the driveway, Bonnie looked over her shoulder at Amber. “I’ve got an hour before my next appointment. Want to go to the Coffee Stop for a hot chocolate?”

  Amber looked at her mother, wondering if she’d want to go along.

  “Go ahead, honey. I’m going inside to lay down for a while.”

  “So what did you think?” Bonnie asked, as they settled into the corner booth with their hot drinks.

  Amber looked off into space and shrugged. “I don’t know.” Then turning her focus to the social worker, she asked, “What do you think?”

  “Really want to know?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I think you’re too young to be a mother.” She reached her hand across the table and placed it over Amber’s. “I’ve seen a few teen moms in my practice, and it’s an incredibly difficult situation for everyone.”

  “So you think I should give him up,” Amber concluded.

  “I think there are many couples who could give him a good, stable home. Couples who are ready to be parents, who are financially secure and can work together to meet all of your little guy’s needs.”

  Amber bit her lip to fight back her tears. She looked down into the cup and nodded.

  “But your thoughts are what count here, Amber. Ultimately, this is a decision you, and you alone, will have to live with for the rest of your life and his.”

  The ramifications of her decision overwhelmed Amber, and she gave in to her tears. “How…how… how am I supposed to know…what’s best for him?” she stammered.

  Bonnie pulled a tissue out of her purse and handed it to her. “I think you just have to try to project yourself into the future a little. Try to picture yourself with a baby 24-7. That’s what parenting is – a marathon that will dominate your life and options.”

  Amber shook her head. “I don’t think I can do that.”

  “It’s a tough challenge, even for a married couple.” She paused, and Amber looked up at her. “It can be done, Amber. But your life will take a very different course. And your opportunities to get an education, to make a decent living, and to find a life partner will all be more difficult.”

  Amber felt her heart breaking. No matter what she chose, she knew her life would never be the same. Everything was messed up.

  “So what if I decide to do the adoption?” she asked. “What would we do next?”

  “Would you want to have a say in who adopts the baby?”

  “Yeah. Definitely.”

  “Then we’d go back to Ms. Blake’s office and go through her book again. I’m sure she’d let you take as much time as you want.”

  Amber tried to picture going through the book again. There were many couples that looked like they’d make good parents. “Okay. Then what?”

  “Then after you decided which couple you’d like to have adopt him, we’d set the legal wheels in motion to get that process going.”

  “When would they take him?” she asked.

  “Probably shortly after his birth. Many adoptive parents are present at the hospital during delivery. They spend the first few hours bonding with the baby, like a natural parent would. That’s an important time when a lifelong emotional connection happens.”

  “So I wouldn’t ever bring him home?”

  “No. You’d probably see him briefly at the hospital, but that would be it.”

  A sense of loss mingled with unexpected relief washed over Amber. Then, as quickly as it came, the relief was replaced by fear. “What if I change my mind after I see him?” she asked, hoping Bonnie would tell her she could back out and keep the baby.

  Bonnie looked at her intently. “This is a decision you shouldn’t take lightly, Amber.” She paused and then added, “To give you the bigger picture, I’m going to share something confidential with you. It’s just between you and me.”

  “Okay.” Amber sat forward in her seat, all ears.

  “Your teacher, Ms. Baron, shared something with me that may help you with your decision.”

  “Ms. Baron?” Now Amber was really curious.

  “Yes. You really like her, don’t you?” Bonnie asked.

  Amber smiled. “She’s the best.”

  “Well, what I’m going to tell you is something she’s allowing me to share with you. But it’s not something you can share with anyone else. Deal?”

  “Deal.”

  “Okay. A few years before the Baron’s daughter, Madison, was born, they almost adopted a baby.”

  Amber was even more curious now. “Really??”

  “Yeah. They were having some trouble starting a family, so they applied for private adoption through the same attorney we saw today.”

  “You mean, they were in a book like the one we looked at?”

  “Yep.”

  “Whoa.” Amber sat back, trying to imagine her teacher filling out one of those forms. “So what happened?” she asked.

  “A young woman chose them to adopt her baby. It happened to be a boy, just like yours.”

  “But it didn’t work out?”

  “Well, they were really excited, told all their family and friends, and set up an adorable nursery to welcome him into their home.” Bonnie paused, as if to let this scene soak in.

  “But?”

  “But the birth mother changed her mind after the baby was born.” Bonnie sat back in her seat and seemed to be staring at her.

  “Man. She must have been really sad.” Amber imagined her teacher going into the nursery, knowing the little boy would never be coming home. Then she pictured Maddie and felt a little better. “So how did they get Madison? Is she adopted, too?”

  “No. Madison is their little miracle.”

  “What happened with the baby boy?” Amber asked, eager to hear a happy ending.

  “They’ll never know.” She looked Amber in the eye. “But statistically those stories don’t end well. And two very loving people went through a world of heartache over that decision.”

  Amber nodded soberly. “Wow. Good thing they got Madison.”

  “Yeah. God provided. But many couples don’t get those miracles, and adoption is their only path to parenthood.”

  “Ms. Baron is a great mom. That girl shouldn’t have changed her mind,” Amber said.

  Bonnie reached over and took her hand again. “That’s why I want you to be sure. The easiest time to do this is at birth, but if you can’t be sure before then, you need to wait. The adoption can be arranged afterward.”

  “Okay. Thanks for telling me all this,” she said. “How long do I have to decide, if I want the adoption to happen right after he’s born?”

  “I’d say a month before your due date.”

  “So I’ve got a few months.”

  “Yes.” Bonnie glanced at her watch. “I’ve got to get going,” she said.

  They slid out of the booth, and Bonnie paid the girl behind the counter. Then they walked out into the drizzling gloom.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Michelle was distracted throughout the English department meeting. Although she kept trying to focus, her thoughts repeatedly drifted to Amber.

  Today was the day her student was going to see the adoption attorney. The magnitude of what this fo
urteen-year-old girl was facing far exceeded the mundane state standards tests being discussed in their meeting.

  I wonder how many stories like Amber’s are untold in this school. No wonder it’s hard to get kids focused on curriculum when so many of their lives are spiraling out of control.

  She thought about the boy who had tried to kill himself over a humiliating bullying incident, and the girl who had been removed from her uncle’s guardianship because of abuse.

  In one short year, she’d seen kids come to school drunk, had money stolen from her desk, and had seen the devastating effects of peer pressure on some of her sweetest, most vulnerable students.

  “So what do you think, Michelle?” another teacher asked.

  She startled to attention. “About?”

  “About the benchmark tests? Are you okay with dividing up the text and each of us creating quarterly tests?”

  “Oh. Yeah. Sure. Just tell me which section you want me to do,” she added.

  After they had each received their assignment from the department chair, they broke for lunch.

  “Are you okay?” Cassie asked, walking beside her as they returned to their rooms.

  “Yeah. I guess. Just thinking about Amber and some of the kids.”

  “It’s tough, isn’t it?” her colleague asked. “Balancing your concern for them with the demands of teaching the curriculum.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Just remember what I told you last year. You’re teaching…”

  “…kids, not curriculum,” Michelle interrupted.

  They smiled at each other. “Wanna join me for lunch?” Cassie offered.

  “I’ve got a ton of projects to grade,” she replied, picturing the boxes of student-written and illustrated children’s books that awaited her. She was eager to read through them, surprised at the receptivity and excitement the kids had shown about using their writing skills for creating pop-up books.

  “Okay. Coffee mid-afternoon?” Cassie asked.

  “Sounds great. I’ll call you when I’m ready for a break.”

  They gave each other mock salutes and parted for their separate classrooms.