Into Magnolia (Sandy Cove Series Book 3)

by Rosemary Hines

  Amber was stretched out on her bed, listening to music and thinking about everything. She knew she couldn’t give her baby the kind of life those other couples could. But she didn’t know if she could hand him over to strangers.

  What should I do?

  The question hung in the air with no answer. Closing her eyes, she drifted off to sleep.

  She dreamed she was in a hospital room holding her tiny baby boy in her arms. He was gazing up at her with eyes full of innocence and trust. She cradled him close, humming a lullaby of sorts as she drifted to sleep. Everything was peaceful. Everything was fine.

  Then a nurse came in and reached out her hands for him. “It’s time, Amber. Give me the baby.”

  Amber clung to her son. “No! Leave me alone.”

  “They’re waiting, Amber. Give me the baby.” She came closer and took him out of her grasp.

  “Who are they?” Amber cried out. “Who’s taking him?”

  The nurse just ignored her and walked out.

  “No! Stop!” Amber’s voice awakened her. She sat upright on the bed.

  Oh God, please help me. What should I do?

  “Ms. Baron? Can I come in?” Amber stood at the door to the classroom the next morning, thirty minutes before school would start.

  “Amber!” Michelle greeted her with a smile. “Sure. Come on in. I’m just finishing the last slide of my PowerPoint for today’s lesson.”

  Amber walked over to Michelle’s desk and waited while Michelle clicked the last few buttons on her keyboard to complete the presentation.

  Turning to her student, she pulled a chair close and offered it to her. “How are you feeling?”

  “Okay.” Amber glanced around the room as if searching for words. “I went to the attorney,” she began.

  Michelle studied her face. “And? What did you think?”

  Amber shrugged. “She’s okay.”

  “Are you planning to go the adoption route?” Michelle chose her words carefully, avoiding the term baby.

  Amber stood and picked up the framed picture of Madison. “Maybe.” She sat back down. “I looked at the pictures of the couples in the adoption application book.”

  “Were there lots of couples?” Michelle asked, thinking back to the form and photo she and Steve had submitted before their miracle baby.

  “Yeah.”

  “What did you think? Did you see any you liked?”

  Amber shrugged again and gazed across the room. “They all looked pretty good.”

  Silence hung heavy in the air as Michelle waited for her to continue.

  “Ms. Blackwell told me about you. About how you and your husband almost adopted a baby.”

  Michelle took a deep breath. It felt strange to be talking to a student about this, but Amber wasn’t just any student. She’d become almost like family to Michelle in ways she could only begin to explain. But God had given her a tender heart toward this troubled teen.

  “Yes, we did,” she replied.

  “And the birth mother backed out?”

  “Yep.” Michelle looked Amber in the eye. “It’s really important that you think this through carefully, Amber.”

  “I know. Ms. Blackwell said the same thing.” She paused and played with a strand of hair, examining the split ends and breaking a few off. “How can I be sure, though?” she asked, turning her focus back to Michelle.

  “I guess you just have to try to imagine both paths. Try to picture yourself with a baby to care for day and night and to all the changes that will require in your life. Then multiply that by ten because it will be harder than you can imagine without living through it.”

  Amber studied her soberly.

  “Then think about the option of starting your life over without the baby. Of selecting a home you think will meet his needs, and then trying to put all this behind you and move on.”

  She nodded. “I just can’t picture handing him over.” She started to tear up. “Saying goodbye…”

  “Yeah. It’ll be tough. There’s no getting around that part,” Michelle agreed.

  “What if I change my mind when I see him? What if I just can’t give him away?” A tear slid down Amber’s cheek, and Michelle handed her a tissue.

  Michelle leaned forward and put her hand on Amber’s knee. “I think if you’re truly convinced the adoptive couple will give him a better home and future than you can, you’ll find the strength to do it.”

  Amber sniffled and nodded.

  “Don’t try to make a hurried decision if you’re not sure, Amber. Maybe it would help to talk to the pastor at church.”

  Amber looked up at her with raised eyebrows. “Why?”

  “Because he can counsel you on how to find God’s peace in your decision.”

  She seemed to be considering this idea.

  “Would you like me to set up a time for you to talk to him?”

  “Could I just do it at church if I go with you this Sunday?” She seemed to be hedging for time, as if still considering whether or not she wanted to do this.

  “Maybe. He usually has several people waiting to talk to him after his sermons, but we could try.”

  “Okay. Thanks.” Amber glanced at Maddie’s picture again and added, “You ended up with a really cute kid.”

  “We think so,” Michelle replied with a smile, her own eyes also soaking in the smiling face of her daughter.

  The following Sunday, Amber almost missed church because her mother wasn’t feeling up to driving her there. But when Amber began threatening to hitchhike if necessary, Stacy pulled herself out of bed, threw on a sweat suit and took her.

  Jack had opted to stay home and play video games, so Amber was waiting alone in the parking lot when Michelle and her family arrived.

  “Amber’s here!” Maddie shouted, pointing out the window toward the walkway flanking the lot.

  Michelle smiled. “Yep. There she is.”

  “Can I come into the big church again?” her daughter asked.

  “No princess,” Steve jumped in. “You can talk to Amber before Sunday school. But you need to go to your class.”

  Maddie sighed, crossing her arms in a pout. “Okay, Daddy,” she muttered under her breath.

  Michelle caught Steve’s eye and winked. Sometimes their daughter could be so dramatic.

  Madison clicked off her seatbelt and threw open her door. “Amber!” she shouted.

  Amber turned and quickly spotted them. “Hi, Maddie!” she called with a smile as she walked over to their car.

  Madison immediately took her by the hand, leading her back toward the sidewalk. “Where’s Jack?” she asked.

  “He’s not coming today. He wanted to stay home and play games.”

  Michelle and Steve followed the girls, also hand in hand. As Madison started heading for the sanctuary, Steve stopped them. “Remember what I said, Maddie. Sunday school for you.”

  “Oh, Daddy…please,” she whined.

  “Nope.” Steve cast her a stern look.

  “Better listen to your dad,” Amber said.

  Madison looked up at her admiringly. “Okay,” she relented.

  After they’d dropped her off at the K-1 classroom, they headed into the sanctuary. Ben started walking by them, glancing over as he passed, and Michelle held up a finger to get his attention. He made a comical u-turn to face them.

  Michelle gestured to Amber and said, “Amber would like to talk to you after the service, if you have time.”

  He looked at the teen and nodded with a warm smile. “Sure. Just give me a few minutes, and we can meet in the high school room after it clears out.” Heading to his seat, he threw a, ‘See you then’ over his shoulder.

  Amber nodded. She looked nervous.

  I hope this was a good idea, Michelle thought. She took Steve’s hand as they stood for the first worship song.

  Amber spent close to an hour talking to Ben and his wife, Kelly, after church. Michelle and Steve had promised to wait for her and give her a ride home. Miche
lle and Steve watched Ben and Kelly’s kids, who played with Madison in the little playground area.

  After a while, all the youngsters started getting hungry, so Steve offered to go to the local drive-through burger place to pick up food.

  While he was gone, Michelle sat on a bench overlooking the grass area where the kids were playing. She prayed for Ben and Kelly — for wisdom in their counsel, and for Amber — to know what to do.

  Shortly after Steve returned and the three of them had begun to eat, Ben, Kelly, and Amber came out of the Sunday school building. Amber looked like she’d been crying, but she smiled when she saw Madison racing toward her. “We got you some lunch!” the little girl revealed with a grin.

  “Thanks,” Amber replied, pulling her into a hug. Then she turned to Kelly and Ben. “Thank you so much.”

  Kelly smiled and nodded. “Anytime you need to talk,” she offered. Noticing the bags from the burger place, she asked her kids, “Did you guys get some lunch?”

  They nodded with big grins.

  “Thanks for feeding our brood,” Ben said. He gently placed a hand on Amber’s shoulder. “You’re going to figure this out,” he said. “Just remember what we talked about.”

  She nodded. “I will.”

  After Kelly and Ben gathered up the kids and left, Michelle offered Amber a burger and fries, which she readily accepted and devoured. “Guess I was hungry,” she said with a smile.

  “Me, too,” Madison chirped, clearly enjoying her big-sister friend.

  As they drove Amber home, Maddie asked, “Can we do another park day, Mommy? With Amber, I mean.”

  “I’d like that,” Amber offered.

  “Okay, then we will,” Michelle promised the girls. “Maybe this week.”

  “Yay!” Madison cheered, and Michelle could see a smile on Amber’s face as well.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  It rained most of the week, but on Friday the sun peeked out, and they were able to head to the park – just the three of them.

  Amber had thought about what Pastor Ben said to her on Sunday – how if she prayed about her decision, God would answer. He would show her what to do, and give her a peace in her heart about that course.

  Other than her brief prayers of desperation, Amber didn’t really know how to pray. Ben explained it was just like having a conversation with a good friend. All she had to do was say what she was thinking. She didn’t have to say any special or fancy words. And there was no point trying to hide anything from God.

  It was comforting and also a bit concerning to her that God already knew all about her. He knew about her relationship with Adam and what they had done at the beach. He knew about her mom and her loser dad. He even knew what the future held, and how things would turn out for Amber and her baby.

  “So why should I pray?” she’d asked Ben. “I mean, if God already knows everything, why I should I talk to Him about it?”

  “Because the most important thing to God is having a relationship with you, Amber. He wants you to know how much He loves you. And He wants to spend time with you.”

  “Really?” The idea floored her. How could God want to have anything to do with her after the mess she’d made of her life? But Ben was certain that He did. “I don’t even know how to begin,” she’d confessed.

  “Begin by asking Him to be part of your life, to help you make decisions, and to show you which way to go with all the choices you have to make.”

  When she’d still felt confused, he had offered to pray with her for the first time. And together they’d asked God to help her. Not just with the decision about the baby, but with everything from now on. Amber felt such a special feeling afterward. It had even made her cry.

  All week she’d been talking to God, asking Him to help her – to show her what to do. She was eager to tell Ms. Baron everything, but Madison pulled her off to the swing set to play.

  As she pushed Maddie on the swings, she noticed her teacher watching them, smiling peacefully. A thought came to her that became a new prayer.

  Thank you for Ms. Baron and her family. Thank you that they make me feel special and not like such a loser.

  She was soaking in the warmth of the sun and the joy of her new friendship with God when a thought suddenly invaded her mind.

  The Barons are the ones for your baby, Amber.

  She stopped pushing Madison for a moment and stood there stunned. Was that God talking to her? She looked over at Michelle, and her teacher smiled and waved. Then she looked at Maddie, pumping her legs and squealing with delight as she swung higher and higher.

  Images of Michelle and her husband walking hand-in-hand at church along with flashbacks of her conversation with Pastor Ben about God showing her the way to go suddenly gelled in her heart and mind.

  No one could give her baby a better home than Ms. Baron and her family. He would have wonderful parents and a super big sister. She knew they’d thought of adopting before. Would they be open to the idea now?

  Knowing the adoptive family would change everything. She’d be sure he was fine. There was no way she’d change her mind if they said yes. Maybe they’d even let her visit him sometimes. Of course he’d never be able to know she was his real mom. At least not until he was an adult.

  But in the meantime, she would know that he was okay.

  Her heart swelled with feelings she’d never experienced before — like the feelings she had when the pastor told her about God loving her and that she was special to Him. But these feelings were even more powerful, more wonderful. She suddenly knew this was the answer, and amazingly, she felt peace. Real peace.

  Now she just had to figure out how to tell Ms. Baron what God was showing her. Please, please help her say yes, she pleaded in her heart.

  As they walked to the car a while later, her teacher observed, “You seem really happy today, Amber.”

  “I am,” she replied, grabbing Madison’s hand and starting to skip, with the little girl falling into step beside her.

  Amber felt a surge of energy over the next few days. She kept hoping for just the right moment to talk to Ms. Baron, and her continuous prayer was that she would say yes.

  She’d stopped by the classroom before school the following day, but found it empty. Then a sub appeared, and it turned out Maddie had developed a cold that kept Amber’s teacher home.

  Two more days passed without her teacher being at school.

  Finally, the opportunity arrived.

  She was waiting at the classroom door when her teacher arrived, arms laden with paperwork and mail. “Hi, Amber. You’re here early.”

  “Yeah. Need help with that?” Amber reached out her hands to take the papers so Michelle could unlock and open the door.

  As they entered the room, she noticed how chaotic things appeared. Her teacher’s desk was strewn with papers from the assignments while she’d been gone. And the desks, normally in straight rows, resembled slithering snakes. Even the floor was a mess with little papers and food wrappers littering the aisles.

  “Wow,” Amber said.

  “Now you know why I’m always having you guys straighten up at the end of class,” Ms. Baron replied.

  Amber put her backpack down and offered to help. “I’ll pick up the trash.”

  “That would be great.” Michelle flipped open her laptop and started setting up for her lesson.

  After she’d cleared the aisles and re-aligned the desks, Amber asked, “Anything else I can do?”

  Michelle smiled at her. “Nope. That’s a big help. Thanks.”

  She sat down in the front row and waited for her teacher to finish reorganizing her desk.

  “Did you need to talk to me?” Michelle asked.

  “Yeah. If you have time.”

  “Sure. What’s up?” Michelle took a seat at her desk and directed her attention to Amber.

  “I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the adoption idea,” she began. “And I think I know what I want to do.”

  “That’s g
reat, Amber. Did talking to Ben and Kelly help?” Michelle reached for her coffee mug and took a sip.

  “Yeah. They really helped me see things more clearly. Like God and everything.” Amber searched her teacher’s face for understanding. “They helped me understand that I can’t do this without God helping me, either way.”

  Michelle nodded.

  “So anyway, like I was saying… I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I think I know what God would want me to do.” Amber paused. Her stomach was doing flips and her heart raced.

  She took a deep breath, swallowed, and continued. “So here’s the thing. I want my baby to have a good home, where I know he’ll be safe. Where I can know he will be loved and taken care of the way I wish I could.”

  Again Michelle nodded. She seemed to be listening intently.

  “Oh, God. I don’t know how to say this…” Amber stammered. “But anyway, I was wondering if you and your husband would adopt him.”

  Michelle fell back in her chair, looking like she’d been blown by a strong wind. “Amber…” she started, “I don’t know what to say.”

  Amber leaned forward. “Please just think about it. Don’t say anything now. I know you have to talk to your husband and everything. But I hope you’ll say yes.” She felt the tears coming as she added, “You are the kind of mom I wish I had. If I can give that to my baby, I’ll know he’ll be fine.”

  Her teacher looked away, gazing across the empty room. Then her eyes returned to her desk and the picture of Maddie that faced her.

  Amber reached for her backpack. “Like I said, you don’t have to tell me anything now or even this week. Just think about it, okay?”

  Michelle’s gaze met hers. “You really caught me off guard. This is huge, Amber.”

  “Yeah. Just do whatever you think God says for you to do.” Amber smiled nervously. Then she turned and walked out the door.

  Knowing that she wouldn’t be able to face her teacher in the classroom that day, she headed to the beach to pray, the long walk giving her stomach a chance to calm down.