Numb

by Lynn Rider

  “I talked to him last night after the show. He knew I was about to flip my lid over Rich O’Connor. He applauded my restraint in not outing us on public TV.”

  “He agreed it was the right move?” Applauding Ashton for denying his feelings seemed out of character for James.

  “No, he didn’t agree but understood why I chose to do it. Remember, he saw my brother fall apart. He almost pulled the plug on the other guys because of Austin’s shit. He hated me in the beginning and thought I was going to turn out the same way.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t.”

  “Never, babe. I have everything I need except breakfast, and the bus stopped a couple of minutes ago for us to eat. Think about the twelfth. I’ll call you later.”

  “Ashton, I love you.”

  His breath hitched with my declaration. “God, Meagan, you don’t know how incredible that sounds. I love you too. I’ll call you later.”

  I was still wearing my goofy grin when Leah came into the kitchen with dirty dishes. “You missed breakfast,” she said without looking up at me. “I guess you’re okay.” Her face softened when our eyes met.

  “I couldn’t be better. He explained.”

  “Was it to sell more records?” She sounded confident that her assumption was right.

  “No, it was to protect me.”

  “Have a great trip, Ms. Chambers,” the desk clerk called out as I passed through the lobby with my rolling suitcase in tow.

  “Thanks, Bill.” I stepped through the doors and out into the sticky Manhattan afternoon air. A black limo was sitting at the curb with the trunk open.

  “Ms. Chambers, I’m Neil.” A tall man approached and nodded as he grabbed the handle of my suitcase. “Mr. David is already inside the car, ma’am,” he said as he opened the back door.

  “Thank you,” I said, surprised he was in there and not Kelly.

  I settled in the seat closest to the door, sitting opposite James. He smiled briefly as he barked orders over the phone. With every word, he oozed power and confidence. I tried not to listen as the limo pulled from the curb and into traffic.

  “Hey, Meagan,” James said quietly, lacking any of the sternness he was displaying just moments before.

  “Hi, James. Thank you so much for doing this. I’m excited.” I smiled.

  “No problem. I was here on business for the day. I’m happy to have you,” he said sincerely.

  “I was a bit surprised to hear that you were in the car and not Kelly.”

  “Disappointed?” he questioned with a gleam in his eye.

  “Not at all.” I laughed softly. “Relieved is more like it.” I laughed again at my own confession.

  “Yes, I hear she can be tough. Reese told me about your lunch date. Sorry to disappoint you, but she’ll be meeting us at the airport and flying with us.” He smiled apologetically.

  “Yeah, she’s tough all right,” I said, looking out the window. He laughed again. “So how are things?”

  “Perfect,” he said simply with a smile.

  I smiled, knowing he meant it.

  The limo pulled through security at the back of the arena. Kelly was busy chatting on her phone to her nanny. I overheard her tell James during the flight how nervous she was about being so far from her boys.

  The limo pulled to a stop just outside a set of double metal doors. James instructed us to wait in the car until the doors opened for us, but I was having a hard time sitting still. Kelly wrapped up her call and started peering out the glass of the limo.

  “Is it always like this?” I asked.

  She smiled genuinely. “I’m really not sure. This is the first time I’ve come in like this. I usually arrive on the bus with Kyle. The boys have kind of stopped my groupie lifestyle.” She laughed.

  I was about to respond when I saw the set of double doors on the side of building burst open and a tall man with long hair came out wearing a baseball cap. The limo door swung open and he bent down into the opening.

  “Anyone need an escort?” he asked with a cocky grin.

  I almost tripped over my own feet to climb across the limo and into his arms. “What are you doing with that on?” I asked as he swept me from the car and into his arms.

  “Shhh, you’ll blow my cover.” He smiled before throwing his mouth over mine.

  “Asshole!” I heard from behind us and felt Ashton smile in my mouth. I pulled away to see Kyle embracing Kelly in his arms. Kyle was giving Ashton the death glare as he held Kelly. I started laughing at Kyle’s Afro wig.

  “I love it!” Kelly shrieked as she ran her fingers through it, almost pulling it from his head.

  I heard a rough throat clearing and noticed Dave standing in the doorway, propping the door open. He gave a not so subtle nod, and both Ashton and Kyle scurried to get us in the building.

  “Not cool, Ash,” the large man rumbled as he walked away.

  I looked up at Ashton to find a face-splitting smile. “Sorry, Dave. I had to get to my girl.” He shrugged as he pulled me closer.

  “Yeah, not cool, Ash,” Kyle reiterated. I glanced back at him. “I’m Kyle, by the way,” he said sweetly to me.

  “Meagan, this is Kyle Mills,” Ashton politely introduced us. We shook hands as he pulled the wig from his head and threw it at Ashton.

  “Baby, save that. We may be able to work with it later.” Kelly laughed as she winked.

  “What about you, babe? Should I keep mine on?” Ashton asked, looking at me with his sweetest boy next door face.

  “Nah.” I pulled the cap and wig from his head, exposing his short hair. I planted my mouth over his as he picked me up in his arms. I didn’t care who was watching or how inappropriate this might be. I missed him, and if we could find a room alone, I would show him just how much.

  “I missed you so much,” he said as I pulled away, planting me back on the ground. He wrapped his arm around me, leading me down the narrow hall. “Phillip, Owen, Reese and James should be here in about an hour. What do you want to see first?” Ashton asked. I looked up at him and bit my lip. “Oh hell,” he said, picking up the pace. “I’ll find somewhere. We’ll see y’all in a little bit,” he called over his shoulder as he raced me down a different narrow hall. I heard the faint laughter as we disappeared into the darkness.

  Ashton ducked his head into the room of the first door we came to. “Nope,” he said as he slammed the door. Then the next. “Nope,” again, another slam of the door. “Yes!” he chanted as he pulled me in, closed and locked the door. When he turned on the light, it looked like a storage room for desks. “I missed you so much,” he whispered huskily against my neck.

  “Show me,” I whispered back, mirroring his desire.

  “I will make this up to you later.”

  “What?” I said as I reached for the button of his jeans.

  “I’m not going to last long. I’ve been walking around with a hard on for days thinking about touching you.” He groaned as I firmly grasped his dick in my hand. He pulled back, curving his back to escape from my touch.

  “Babe, I’m not going to last. If you want any pleasure from this, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” I smiled and grabbed him again, pinning him to the door. “You could probably fucking blow on it and I’d explode,” he grit out between clenched teeth as I pumped slowly.

  His comment gave me an idea. I looked him in the eyes and dropped to my knees. Leah had been schooling me a little on the basics and now seemed as good a time as any to try out her pointers.

  I kept my eyes locked on his as I swirled my tongue around his head before sinking the first couple of inches between my lips. Ashton was huge, larger than I suspected her pointers gave credit for, but the hiss of air between his teeth and the sudden throw back of his head told me I was doing okay. I slowly inched more and more into my mouth, relaxing and loosening my throat. I gagged, but quickly recovered.

  “Shit, Meagan!” He ran his fingers through my hair and gently pulled me from his shaft. “Fuck!” he murmured when
the popping sound of my mouth releasing his dick filled the air. “I need to be inside you.” He lifted me and locked his mouth over mine, unzipping and pushing my pants down. He spun our bodies around, picking me up and pinning me to the wall. He ran his finger over my clit and through my folds one time. “You’re beautiful,” he said huskily.

  He pushed into me in one fluid stroke, the sensation almost bringing me to instant orgasm. “I’m going to come,” I said with embarrassment in my throaty voice. He pulled back enough to look me in the eyes as he continued ramming into me and smiled. He reached between us and squeezed my clit softly, pushing me over the top. My moans were mixed with his as he came with me.

  Once our heart rate returned to normal, he lowered me so that my feet were planted shakily on the ground. “I promise to make that up to you, later,” he said with a kiss to the tip of my nose. “Slowly,” he clarified, causing me to smile.

  “Did you get the royal treatment?” Kyle asked when we walked into the room.

  “Watch it!” Ashton warned.

  Kyle held up his hands in surrender. “Just making sure she got treated right.” He grinned then winked at me.

  Ashton shot him a disgusted look as he pulled me in closer and introduced me to the other guys in the room. There were several other bands opening for them tonight and some of them were here hanging out.

  “Ash,” Dave called from the doorway. Ashton and I turned around to see James and Reese walking through the door with Phillip and Owen falling in behind.

  Ashton released his grip and I ran for Owen, quickly greeted with a tight embrace. “Hi, baby girl,” he whispered in my ear as he hugged me.

  “I’ve missed you,” I whispered back with glassy eyes. “Me too,” he responded quietly.

  “Damn, Ash, should you be jealous?” I heard a man’s voice ask sarcastically.

  “No, jackass, that’s her brother!”

  “Are you taking care of my girl?” Owen asked as he released me and hugged Ashton.

  “You can count on it,” he said confidently.

  As I greeted Reese, James and Phillip, I heard the sound of muffled music through the walls and ceiling of the room.

  “That’s our cue,” one of the other band’s members jumped to their feet, clapping a couple of the other guys on their shoulders to follow his lead as they walked out. Once they were all gone and only the members of Silver Knight remained, a bottle of tequila was brought out and passed around.

  I looked at Ashton nervously. He smiled as he watched me get more fearful with each passing of it nearer to me. “Relax, baby. You don’t have to take a shot. It’s just a ritual before each show to take a good luck shot, but you don’t have to participate.” He winked as the bottle was passed to me.

  I took the bottle, my eyes never leaving his as I turned it up and took a pull from it. It burned—damn did it burn!—but I kept my eyes on his and saw a look of approval directed at me.

  A sharp knock at the door was the cue they were waiting for. Ashton pulled me to him, nuzzling into my neck. “I love you,” he whispered against my skin as he kissed his way up my neck, across my jaw and settling on my lips softly.

  “I love you too.” I smiled and pressed my forehead to his chest, feeling the slight spin of the room.

  “You okay, babe? He laughed, steadying me.

  “I’m afraid I’m a lightweight.”

  He shook his head, smiling as he called for Owen.

  SILVER KNIGHT TOOK THE stage with a loud roar from the audience. I had never seen them perform live and was impressed with the energy and excitement of the fans. After Silver Knight had performed four songs, Ashton took the microphone and looked over to the side of the stage where I was standing and smiled at me mischievously.

  “I hope you don’t mind, but I want to slow it down a little bit,” he said to the crowd.

  When the crowd hushed to hear what Ashton had to say, a woman took advantage of the calm. “I love you, Ashton!” I peeked from behind the curtain to see the sea of people in the audience. It was almost dizzying the amount of people who were crammed from the stage and bled into the darkness beyond the lights.

  “Thanks, sweetheart,” Ashton called out and laughed. A small pang of jealousy hit me. I looked back at Ashton to see he was watching me with a grin. My heart swelled and the jealousy dissipated, knowing he had the attention of thousands of people, but only I had his.

  “Actually, Kyle and I have been working on some new material and tonight I have someone here who I want to share that with. In addition to all of you, of course.” He gave a cocky grin to the audience before looking back at me. The music started with an unusually slow rhythm for anything from Silver Knight before he took to the microphone and started belting out words in my direction.

  “Before you, my heart was safe and guarded

  I never let anyone in.

  But one look from you I knew you’d win.

  You taught me how to live. You taught me how to love.

  With you, I’ve never felt more alive

  To anyone else it may seem lame,

  But one minute with you, I knew I’d never be the same.

  Because of you, I’m the man I am.

  I need you to see,

  You’re the one, the one for me.

  You taught me how to live. You taught me how to love.

  You bring me light, feeling free

  I’m at your mercy can you see?”

  Ashton’s smooth silky words continued, though I couldn’t hear anything for the beating of my own heart. I lost focus of him through my tear-filled eyes. I blinked several times, trying to rid my eyes of the pools that formed. I wanted to absorb every second of this sight—a sight I would be sure to remember for the rest of my life.

  I was falling apart with emotion, thankful for Owens’s firm arm that wrapped around my shoulders offering support. This was the sweetest, most romantic thing that I’d ever witnessed … and it was happening to me.

  Ashton came to the side of the stage when the audience erupted into applause as the song ended. Owen gently released me at Ashton’s approach. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into an embrace on the side of the stage where everyone could see. Screams and catcalls came out from the audience as he scooped me up into his arms and ran off the stage.

  “I love you, babe, and I want the world to know.” He smiled. “And now I have to get you a bodyguard.” He winked before running back on stage to the crazed fans. Kyle and the others led right into another one of their hits, energizing the crowd with their powerful sound.

  Silver Knight wrapped up their show with an encore performance with Pillar, one of the opening bands. Kyle had explained that they duo each final night in every city with one of the three bands that traveled with them. They always performed the other bands songs, giving them additional exposure. Since they were only playing one night in Nashville, tonight would be the night.

  When they took the stage with the other band members, James led us back to their dressing room as the sound radiated through the walls. Scantily dressed women lurked around the wide corridor. Some were pinned against the walls, having found their suitor for the night, others still had a look of heat in their eyes as they closely examined Owen, Phillip and James.

  “This is their life,” Kelly whispered to me. I scrunched my nose up at the thought and she laughed softly. “Don’t worry. It’s not Ashton’s life, at least not anymore,” she said confidently.

  I knew this was probably how it was, but I never wanted to think about it. And anytime I started to, I pushed it to the far corners of my mind. But with each passing of a girl in a short tight skirt, it was becoming harder to suppress it. It made me want to return to the stage and mark Ashton as mine. I smiled with the memory of him licking me the night of the art show.

  The door of the room opened and in walked Charlie with one of those little groupie types hanging from his body. I glanced over the room at the bodies and faces and noticed James was watching me carefully. I smi
led wearily in his direction as the door opened and Kyle walked in followed by Ashton and then Dave. Dave was wearing a smile which I hadn’t thought possible.

  Ashton grabbed a bottle of water before settling next to me in the chair. “You probably don’t want to touch me, babe. I’m soaked with sweat.” He laughed as he took a long pull from the bottle of water.

  “You need to wash that skank off you!” Charlie said through a laugh.

  I looked at Ashton cautiously. “Don’t worry, babe. My man Dave pulled her off,” he said, nodding up at the large man standing cross-armed in front of the door with his usual grimacing look securely back on his face.

  My heart raced with the thought that this was the life I was so desperately afraid of. Women who would do anything with anyone who looked remotely famous and would spare a moment of their time.

  “I’m ready to go,” Ashton said to James and Kyle. “Me too,” Kyle agreed. James looked up at Dave as he nodded and pulled out his phone.

  We made our way from the arena and into the awaiting limo without anyone seeing us. The driver pulled into the crazed traffic but managed to make it through and onto the expressway with relative ease thanks to the police escort.

  “Man, I feel like the fucking president,” Kyle joked as we were blowing by cars on the expressway. “James, you need to come to more of our concerts.”

  We arrived at the Radcliff, where we were scheduled for a private dinner, but Ashton and Kyle wanted to go up to their rooms to shower first. The driver handed Ashton his small overnight bag, then my small suitcase was brought out and handed to Ashton. I looked at Owen and he smiled bashfully. “I don’t want to think about my little sister spending the night with a guy and I’m certainly not talking about it,” Owen said quietly as he kissed my head.

  I stood and watched everyone enter the lobby. Ashton stopped just before walking through the lobby doors and turned in my direction.

  “You coming?” he asked with a cocky grin as he held up my suitcase.

  I leaped into action and threw my arms around him. “I love you, Ashton. I love the way I feel around you. I love how crazy you make me with just that smile of yours.”