Numb

by Lynn Rider

  I watched Trevor’s line of sight follow a lone girl walking by in a short skirt and bikini top and snickered to myself. I wasn’t sure who was more pathetic, him or the girl.

  “Dibs,” I heard Charlie yell as he opened the door and slammed it shut as he took off in pursuit.

  “Dumbass,” Kyle said, shaking his head.

  I watched Dave’s grimace grow as his arms flailed wildly at Charlie who paid him no attention as he was now engaging with the woman.

  “Yeah, at least I wait to see all the talent before I pounce,” Trevor said idiotically.

  Ashton’s grip tightened around me briefly. “Kell, you okay?” he asked softly.

  Kyle looked at him nervously as Kelly gave her standard nod and weak smile that I’d seen her cast in Kyle’s direction all night. Ashton glanced down at me and when our eyes met, he winked.

  Both limo doors opened simultaneously. “All right, boys and girls, you’re free to enter,” an older security guard said as he bent down to glance in the limo.

  We all climbed from the back of the car and were quickly ushered through an opening and down a long corridor. It was reminiscent of the arena they played in Nashville. I guess if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. Dave was standing ahead near an open door. As we each filed into the room, I heard him giving the run down to Ashton. Ashton clapped him on the back and thanked him just before he shut us inside the room.

  I found a seat next to Kelly on a couch. “I’ve heard others ask this all night, but I’m compelled to do the same when I see that green face of yours. Are you okay? Do you need anything?” I asked her quietly.

  Her smile widened a bit higher for me than it did for Kyle or Ashton. “I’m fine, just not feeling well today.”

  I grabbed her hand softly, giving it a little squeeze. “If there’s anything you need, or if you want to stay in here tonight, I’ll stay with you.”

  “Thanks, Meagan, that’s sweet, but I can’t ask you to miss their last show. I may not be able to go watch, but you need to. He needs you there,” she said with a flick of her chin in Ashton’s direction. I smiled as he laughed with Austin and Kyle in the corner.

  Kyle walked over and sat close to Kelly, murmuring something in her ear. I got the impression I wasn’t invited into this conversation, so I stood and made my way to Ashton’s side. He drew me in with one arm as he continued telling Austin about a stage malfunction they’d had in the beginning of their tour. I rested my head in the crook of his neck and inhaled his intoxicating scent. I still can’t believe he’s mine.

  “Listen up, everyone. I consider you guys my family because I love each of you like a brother. Austin, it’s especially nice to see your ugly mug back in the mix.” Kyle paused, looking at Kelly for reassurance. “Kelly and I wanted to share something with you.” He paused again as if prolonging the suspense. “Kelly’s pregnant!”

  The entire room exploded in celebration and congratulations were lobbed at Kelly and Kyle with heartfelt sincerity by each band member.

  A little while later, the celebration calmed and the normal preconcert energy was all that remained. The tell-tale signal it was time to take the stage came with the sharp knock on the door. The bottle of tequila was brought out, but Ashton insisted I didn’t take a gulp of it tonight, claiming I was too much of a lightweight. He was right.

  “Austin, take good care of her. I’ll have Dave with us, so you need to make sure nothing happens to her,” Ashton commanded.

  “Oh, I’ll take good care of this one,” he said with a devious grin as he slid his arm around my shoulders, drawing me in.

  “Watch it,” he warned, causing Austin to let go of me with a playful laugh.

  Ashton pulled me in tight and tilted my face up. “I’m glad you’re here. I love you.” He spoke so softly that I barely heard his words. He lowered his mouth to mine and pressed his lips gently against mine.

  “Have a good show. I’ll be watching,” I said with a smile and a wink as we pulled away from our embrace. He walked toward the door but stopped before he walked out.

  “I got her, man,” Austin reaffirmed as Ashton took one last look before walking out with the group.

  Austin turned his attention back to me and Kelly. “Well, ladies, shall we?” he asked as he placed both fists at his hips, providing a hook in his arm. Kelly and I both accepted his escort, wrapping our arms through his as we started toward the opposite side from where Silver Knight would take the stage. The older security guard from earlier silently led the way when we exited the room.

  Just like last time I’d attended a concert, there were scantily dressed women loitering the hallways looking for a good time; there just seemed to be more of them. They all took in Austin appreciatively as we walked by, but he didn’t give them any notice. Their looks turned scornful when they realized Kelly and I were wrapped tightly around him. With each disgusted look, I wrapped my arm tighter, but I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was to protect him from this lifestyle, to provide silent support of his journey up to this point, or maybe I was just happy he was here with his childhood best friends and brother.

  “I’m okay.” He smiled down at me, acknowledging my embrace.

  “I know. I’m happy you’re here. It feels right,” I confirmed softly before we stepped through the backstage door. He smiled as the blaring music took over any opportunity for word exchange.

  We approached the side of the stage and sat off to the side. Like in Nashville, we could see the band, but not the audience. Pillar was wrapping up what I assumed was their last song. I was sure Ashton, Kyle and the others were getting pumped up on the opposite side, ready to make their grand entrance.

  I looked toward Kelly. She had tightly wrapped the cold bottle of ginger ale in her hand and was pressing it against the back of her neck. I nudged Austin and he glanced over briefly and nodded, but when the song ended his attention shifted back to the stage.

  The lights dimmed and it only took a few minutes for the bands to swap places. The thumping of one of Charlie’s drums was all that could be heard from the darkness over the hushed audience. Then all at once the lights flashed on and everyone other than Kyle joined Charlie’s lonely drum. Their sound was powerful and the reaction of the crowd was evidence of it. I stepped to the side of the wall that covered us from their view to see the same sea of people that I did in Nashville. The bodies were packed in tight and trying to get closer. There was a border between the fans and the stage where there seems to be more brightly colored staff shirts this concert. No doubt someone would break through, though. Aston said it happened at every concert. I smiled a little at the desperation, or maybe it was simply the wild streak of a woman who would risk being thrown out if the guard wasn’t given the nod of approval when they broke that border. My heart plummeted a little at the thought of how many nods Ashton may have given over the years.

  Dave made his appearance as I returned to the shadows of the stage side. He noticed Kelly right away and helped her to her feet. “I’m taking her to lie down,” he yelled above the music. I nodded and gave Kelly a sympathetic smile before Dave escorted her from the stage area.

  I’d never been a fan of rock music until I met Ashton. His instant charm compelled me to search every one of their songs the night I met him. Some I liked more than others, but there was an excitement that only a few would experience—seeing the man you loved in front of a large audience, strumming on his guitar and belting out lyrics with an intensity and passion that he normally reserved for you. I tore my eyes from Ashton and briefly glanced at Austin. He was into every word and instinctively strumming with his fingers. A twinge of sadness hit me as I remembered this was his dream, not Ashton’s, and he was left sitting on the side.

  Dave’s presence caught my attention out of the corner of my eye when he finally returned. He looked angry. “What’s wrong?”

  He shook his head. “The stage door was propped open with a small rock.”

  “Do you need to leave us? I’m fine, I’m wit
h Austin.”

  “I need to do a sweep of the backstage area, I won’t be long. I need to make sure there’s no one back here. I called for back up to clear the area, but they’re coming from posts all over the stadium. It may be a while before they get here.” I nodded and turned my attention back to the concert as he walked into the darkness.

  Silver Knight played song after song. I was surprised to hear much of their new stuff was slower. It sounded more like pop than rock. Dave hadn’t returned yet and I didn’t think Austin even noticed. As another song wrapped, so did the music.

  Kyle took the microphone in his hand and studied the audience before he spoke. “Thank you for coming out tonight!” The crowd hooted and hollered. Once they hushed, an “I love you, Kyle,” was heard over the almost silent audience. Kyle smiled. “Here I thought all the love went to Ashton.” He laughed.

  “Team Kyle all the way!” a group of female voices shouted in unison.

  Kyle looked over to Ashton with a raised brow. Ashton shrugged and laughed. “Thanks ladies, but you’re going to make my beautiful wife, who’s here tonight, by the way, jealous,” he said lightheartedly. “Again, we want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts that you came out tonight. Who would have thought six guys from St. Louis could be here.” He pointed to the stage and the crowd whistled and cheered. “I want to remind you to live your dreams and even if you get knocked down, keep going!” The crowd cheered once more. I noticed Kyle look over at Ashton and he smiled, then he looked back at Charlie and Trevor and I noticed they both nodded. The crowd was hushed in anticipation of what Kyle would say next.

  “Some of you may have picked up that I said six. If you’re paying attention, you’ve only counted five of us ugly bastards up here. Most of you long time fans know that Ashton wasn’t originally part of our mix. Although we kind of like his ugly mug, and think we’ll keep him.” The crowd shouted, cheered and yelled again.

  “Well, originally it was Austin who stood in Ashton’s shoes. Yes, there are two of them ladies.” He laughed as the women in the crowd took the opportunity to profess their love for Ashton. Ashton shook his head, looking bashful.

  “Okay, you didn’t come here to listen to me talk, so let me say this. For the first time since we all played in a dilapidated old garage in our old hood of St. Louis, we have Austin and Ashton together again. Now I’ll warn you, he’s rusty and hasn’t played with us in years, but something tells me he’s going to be just fine. Ladies—and some men—please welcome Austin!”

  The crowd erupted into applause, screams and whistles. I looked over at Austin’s. His form almost floated from his chair and onto the center stage to join Kyle. Austin strapped on a guitar, and the music was brought in quickly. As the song began, I leaned against the wall and took in the joy of this moment. This was Austin’s dream and there he was, rocking with his friends and brother. He was living it. They performed song after song together as I stood on the side watching with a huge smile. Austin was fantastic and if he messed up, no one knew.

  I felt an unexpected shove from behind, and I turn to find a woman standing there wearing black leather pants, halter top and black boots holding the neck of a beer bottle in her hand.

  “He’s not yours, bitch!” She waved the beer bottle around as if it were a weapon. I backed away, but with every step I took, she took one toward me.

  I continued to back away from her, hoping to find someone who would grab this crazy bitch. I moved further from the side of the stage when I realized that was a mistake because the stage was my safety. I circled back around and reached for my phone to call Dave. When my eyes dipped to my keypad, she lunged at me, hitting me across the side of my face with the bottle. I stumbled back and tripped over a thick black cord on the floor, falling backward.

  Her weight was on me as I fell to the floor. I heard a loud crack and an excruciating pain shoot up my arm. I was momentarily stunned by the pain and her insistent beating of me with her hands as she straddled my body. My one arm wouldn’t move, and with each blow my body rattled and the pain intensified. With my good arm, I reached around and pulled her by her long hair off me, pivoting my body and kicking her with all my might.

  Dave’s deep menacing voice filtered through the beat coming from the stage. A brightly colored staff shirt picked her up and held her squirming body. Dave knelt down to my side, trying to help me up, but I shook my head and yelped in pain. He released me, bending closer. “Jesus, Meagan, what hurts?”

  I looked up into his concerned eyes. “My arm. I think it’s dislocated or something. She jumped on me and it broke our fall.”

  Dave ripped the sleeve of my shirt and his look turned grim. “Meagan, I think it’s broken.” Tears pricked my eyes. “I need to help you up and get you to the hospital.” I nodded as I drew my legs up. The pain almost knocked me back off my feet, but Dave held me around the waist on the good side. “Get the police,” he barked at the staff security as he walked by, glaring at the woman.

  “Holy shit, Meagan.” Ashton’s voice was pained as he saw the beginning stages of the cast being wrapped along my arm and then looked at my face.

  Tears fell from my eyes as the sight of him brought back all the fear I’d felt. He was at my side but looked unsure of where he could touch me. I imagined my face looks a punching bag, but was told there was only mild swelling and bruising. I held out my hand and grabbed his. He laced our fingers through one another and settled into the chair next to the exam table. He cast Dave a nasty look which prompted him to leave.

  “Don’t blame him, Ashton. He would never have left me if he thought anything was going to happen to me. You know that.”

  “I don’t pay him to think. He was supposed to go to you once we took the stage. End of it.”

  I shook my head. “No,” I insisted. “You don’t understand the struggles that man goes through to see that we’re protected. We’re his family, Ashton.”

  Ashton’s eyes leave mine briefly to look up at the technician wrapping my arms with the fiberglass wrap. “How are you?” he asked quietly as his eyes once again locked on mine.

  I sighed and my eyes filled with tears again. “I’m worried my career will be over.” I cried harder now that I hear the fear that had been looming in my mind pouring from my mouth.

  “Oh, Meagan … I’m so sorry. I never meant for this to happen.”

  “I know,” I replied quietly.

  “That’s it. You’re set, Ms. Chambers. The doctor will be in to see you before you leave,” the young man said with a smile.

  “Thank you,” Ashton said with a dismissive tone, glaring at the poor man.

  “Thank you,” I replied to the intimidated young man on his way out. I pulled my good hand from Ashton’s grasp. “What’s gotten into you?”

  He stood, ran his hands through his messy hair and paced the short length of the room. “I don’t know, I’m just losing it. When I got off that stage and they told me a woman had been arrested for assaulting you and Dave had taken you to the hospital … I almost died standing there. Austin broke every traffic law there was tonight trying to get me here to you.”

  “Ash, I’m fine. I’m a little beat up both physically and emotionally, but I’ll be fine. I don’t need you worrying about me anymore,” I insisted, taking his hand in mine again. He dropped to the chair again and kissed my swollen lip softly.

  “I just love you so much that I want to protect you from all this shit.”

  “I know,” I said, trying to hide the worry I felt over the unexpected turn my life had just taken.

  “HEY, BABE, I THOUGHT you were going to wait for me to take a bath?” Ashton asked from the doorway with playfulness in his tone.

  “I didn’t want to wait,” I said flatly.

  “Meagan, how long are we going to do this? You haven’t been out of this apartment since the accident. You canceled on Leah with our trip to the Hamptons and you missed Austin’s probation hearing.”

  I couldn’t take in his genuine concern
or it would squash the anger that I so badly needed to release. “How long are we going to do this? I don’t see your arm in a damn cast. I don’t see your career gone!”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Yes, I do, Ashton! I talked to my boss two days ago. My seat is gone. I was due to audition again for it in three months, so they opened auditions early and filled it. I’m no longer living my dream. So don’t include yourself in this equation because while you’re still playing your instrument, I’m not. And it wasn’t an accident. That woman attacked me, Ashton. She didn’t trip and fall on me. She lunged at me after she threatened that you were hers!” My voice wavered, but I didn’t cry.

  “I’m taking you to lunch, get ready,” Ashton insisted.

  “No, I just ate.”

  He sighed heavily before he turned and left my room. Moments later, I heard the click of the front door open and close.

  I picked up my phone and pulled up my contacts. “Can you meet me for lunch without telling anyone?” I asked solemnly.

  “Of course. You name the time and place and I’ll be there.”

  I pulled up to the quaint tearoom where I hoped no lurking cameras would be hiding. I tried my best to look half-way presentable despite my full arm cast, but would rather not be seen like this. The dining room was only partially full when I walked in and no one even spared a glance my way as I walked toward the small hostess station.

  “I’m meeting someone and I think she may already be here.”

  The hostess smiled kindly. “Of course, dear.” She lifted a menu from the pile and led the way to the back of the restaurant.

  Kelly stood when I approached and gave me a lingering hug. “I’m so sorry, Meagan.”

  Tears pricked my eyes as I settled in my seat. “I’m breaking, Kelly.” I blinked back my tears.