Bonds of Matrimony

by A C J McKechnie

  She was excited, she was eager, and she was also wondering where they were headed.

  “Zachary?” she managed to gasp out as they exited into the frigid air outside and she shivered. Not even answering her, her husband just looked around and growled in frustration. “What about my coat?” she ventured, not particularly caring about the item, but loath to waste such a fine piece of clothing.

  “I’ll buy you another damn coat,” he growled before continuing to search his surroundings. “This is why I hate using a valet,” he snarled, and she found her brow furrowing as he marched towards the young men out front. “Keys!” he snapped at them, and Ellie attempted to free her hand in an effort to rub at her cold arms.

  Noticing her action, her husband didn’t let her go, but instead pulled her forcefully into his embrace to warm her himself.

  “Sir?” one of the men said warily, and she could feel Zachary’s heart pounding against his chest where she was pressed up against him.

  “Keys. My keys. Now!” he ordered, and even she flinched at the terse command. Though she could understand his impatience. She was pretty darn impatient too right now. Especially with the snow falling outside.

  “We can –,” one of the men tried but Zachary interrupted.

  “Just give me my keys and directions. I’ll get my own damn car,” he growled, and Ellie smiled into his chest. She could well understand his reputation as a man not to be trifled with.

  “Of … of course, sir,” the man stammered, and Ellie felt one of Zachary’s hands leave her body to obviously receive the keys as he listened to the younger man’s directions.

  Even before the last word had left the valet’s mouth Zachary was pulling her along after him purposefully as they headed towards the parking garage. Breathless from a mixture of their fast pace and anticipation, Ellie just silently followed in his wake as he made a beeline straight to his car.

  Finding the vehicle, he headed towards the passenger side while unlocking it before they even got close to the door. As soon as he’d opened it Ellie found herself pulled up tightly against him as his mouth crashed down onto hers, sweeping her away with a firm and passionate kiss.

  As she opened fully to him she felt one of his hands tangling in her hair while the other landed on her lower back to do that same thing that always drove her wild. With a soft purr in the back of her throat, and an answering growl in his, she grabbed him even more closely and pulled him down with her as she got into the car.

  She could feel his resistance, but continued to tug at him as she swung her legs inside and fumbled for the button that would recline her seat fully. Finally finding it, she wrapped both fists around the lapels of his tuxedo jacket and yanked hard enough to pull his larger frame into the small vehicle with her.

  “Honey?” he asked in her ear. “What are you doing?” he breathed against her skin, but didn’t stop in his endeavors. Not even bothering to take the time to answer him, she instead grabbed at the door handle and shut the pair of them into their own cocoon. The action had Zachary’s head snapping up and he stared down at her in confusion.

  “I want you,” she said simply as she returned his gaze and watched as his eyes flashed again. “Now,” she growled at him and heard him groan before he delved back into her mouth again. As his hands tangled in her hair and gripped at her thigh she pushed at his jacket to remove it from his frame and found herself getting frustrated at the lack of space.

  “Honey,” he moaned into her mouth, “this isn’t right.”

  “What?” she asked breathlessly. It felt pretty darn right to her.

  “Ellie,” he said more forcefully as he gripped her hands and pushed back slightly. “This should be special. It’s your first time, it’s my first time, it’s our first time,” he stressed, and she stared up at him, amazed at the consideration which he had for her. “It should be special,” he repeated softly as he stroked her face tenderly.

  “It will be. I’ll be with you,” she answered honestly and heard him groan again before his head descended once more. As they continued to get lost in each other she found herself getting increasingly frustrated at the confined area and even heard Zachary emitting small groans and grunts as he bumped into various parts of his vehicle.

  “This is ridiculous,” he finally said. “We should go home,” he said, and she couldn’t help but see his point but was reluctant to stop now that they were so close.

  “I don’t want to wait that long,” she breathed at him and saw him sigh before his gaze shifted around, obviously in an attempt to see if he could do anything about the cramped space.

  As his gaze drifted out of the steamed up window he suddenly looked back at her with a wolfish smile, and she found herself intrigued by the look.

  “I have an idea,” he proclaimed before opening the door and backing out, pulling her up with him as he went. Trailing along after him once more, completely careless of her disheveled state, Ellie just followed his lead and found herself surprised when he reentered the hotel.

  “Please don’t tell me that we’re attending that thing after all,” she said in despair and heard him chuckle softly before he surged straight up to the reception desk.

  “I need a room. Now,” he said to the woman behind the counter, and Ellie flushed bright red at his manner. She found her blush deepening when the woman’s shocked expression took in the pair of them before she quickly averted her eyes.

  Embarrassed at how obvious they were being, Ellie burrowed into her husband’s side and attempted to hide her crimson face. Obviously not feeling the same embarrassment, Zachary just wrapped an arm around her and held her tightly against him before his thumb started that maddening pattern on her skin again, ensuring that her embarrassment subsided and impatience replaced it.

  “Of course, sir,” the woman said after clearing her throat. “We have –”

  “I really don’t care which one it is,” he interrupted. “Just give me a key. Now,” he demanded forcefully before he pulled his wallet out and handed a card over to the woman. “Keep that and I’ll sort out all of the paperwork later. Just give me any damn key,” he continued to order, and Ellie found her eyes closing and her hand exploring his firm torso as she attempted to hold back her purr while his thumb continued to drive her mad.

  “Of … of course, sir,” the woman said nervously before tapping at some keys on her computer. Within what seemed like seconds Zachary was moving again, heading towards the elevators, and barreling Ellie into one.

  As they entered she found herself standing breathlessly on one side as he leaned against the wall on the other and just watched the floor numbers pass by.

  “You should be nicer to the staff,” she said in an attempt at teasing and saw his mouth quirk at that.

  “I usually am, but this called for expediency,” he said more soberly.

  “I’m surprised that you’re over there,” she commented as she waved at his form on the other side of the small enclosure.

  “Our first time is not going to be in an elevator, honey, and that just might well happen if I’m any closer to you,” he said seriously, and she found herself blushing at the simplicity and honesty of the statement.

  “Oh,” was all she managed and saw his mouth quirk yet again before he straightened, grabbed her hand, and pushed through the doors before they were fully open.

  Striding purposefully down the hallway, he stopped at a door, and Ellie found herself surprised that he didn’t make any move towards opening it. Looking up at him, she saw him looking at her in concern and wondered why he’d stopped. He was eager, very eager. He’d even admitted as much mere seconds earlier. Why was he stopping now?

  “Are you sure?” he asked softly, and she found herself even more touched by his words. That he would check with her before they took this step had her heart melting even further and had her falling even more in love with him.

  Nodding at him, she said, “I’m sure, Zachary. I want this. I want you,” she finished sincerely as she
reached up and kissed him softly, and as lovingly as she could, on his lips.

  With a grunt of delight he wrapped his arms around her once again before one hand fumbled with the key card and handle. As soon as the door was open they almost fell through it, and Ellie clung onto her husband tightly as he kicked the door closed with a resounding bang.

  The sound had her smiling against his lips and she realized that she was very, very sure.

  Chapter Twenty

  Sighing with delight, Ellie was reluctant to break the moment, but realized that she couldn’t stay wrapped in her husband’s arms forever. Life continued, regardless of the fact that she’d just experienced pure bliss. As much as she wanted to relish in it all and never leave their secluded bubble, she knew that that was unrealistic.

  “What time is it?” she finally, reluctantly, asked and felt Zachary move as he obviously checked the time on the clock beside the bed that they were still snuggled up in.

  “It’s still relatively early,” he answered, and she nestled against him again.

  “That’s not what I asked,” she said with a smile.

  “It’s only nine,” he announced, and she found herself surprised. “Why?” he asked, and she shrugged.

  “Just wondering how much longer we could stay here like this,” she explained.

  “We can stay all night,” he said, and she shook her head against his chest.

  “No we can’t.”

  “It’s not like I can’t afford it,” he said in amusement, and she smiled slightly before explaining herself more fully to him.

  “I have no clothing, Zachary. You have no clothing. I have no nightwear –”

  “Who needs nightwear?” he interrupted, and she just ignored him to continue with why their staying was impractical.

  “We haven’t eaten –”

  “Which is why they invented room service,” he continued to interrupt, and she just continued to ignore him.

  “You have work tomorrow.”

  “Ugh,” he said in distaste. “And that meeting first thing,” he added with a sigh.

  “We can’t stay here all night. Besides which, what will people think if we leave in the morning dressed in formalwear?” she asked.

  “Who cares? They’ll think I’m damn lucky,” he said, and she smiled once again.

  “I’m not sure that would be their first thought.”

  “You really want to leave?” he asked seriously, and Ellie shrugged while noticing a change in the mood between them. The lighthearted banter had been put aside for reality and responsibility to rear its head.

  “Not really, but I don’t think that we should stay,” she explained and felt him sigh again.

  “The moment’s broken,” he stated, and she smiled ruefully at that. It had been a nice escape but they did have lives to lead. “When do you want to leave then?”

  “Is there much point in staying any longer?” she ventured and felt him tense before he shifted, obviously pushing himself upright at her words.

  “I guess not,” he mumbled, and she found her brow furrowing at his manner. He seemed annoyed for some reason but she couldn’t figure out why. He was always so focused on his business and he cared about his reputation, she was only thinking of that.

  “We could even make an appearance downstairs, couldn’t we?” she suggested sheepishly and waited for his response.

  “I thought that you didn’t want to attend,” he said suspiciously, and she shrugged.

  “I wanted to spend time with you instead, but it seemed important that you speak to a couple of people,” she hazarded and chanced a quick glance at him, surprised to see him frowning at her.

  “Alright,” he said. “I’ll take a quick shower then,” he said stiffly, and she wondered what had changed between them. Nodding as she pulled the sheets close around her, she tried to analyze everything that had happened to see if she could decipher why the change in him had occurred.

  Watching as he moved into the bathroom, she realized that she wasn’t likely to figure it out and decided to gather up all of their scattered clothing while she waited for the shower to become free. Standing up, she looked back at the bed that they’d shared and had a sudden thought.

  When she and Zachary had spoken about his being a virgin he’d told her that he wouldn’t take a woman to his bed who didn’t love him and had married him, but he’d never mentioned anything about being in love with her as well. The realization had Ellie thinking everything over again and her eyes shot to the bathroom door.

  Zachary hadn’t said that he loved her. He hadn’t told her that he cared. She’d assumed that he did. She’d assumed that he loved her. But what if she were wrong? What if he’d just wanted her physically? What if he’d just wanted to consummate the marriage in an effort to speed up the time frame in which he could divorce her? What if this hadn’t meant what she’d thought it had?

  Looking back down at the bed, she thought over it all some more and realized something else. He’d wanted to go home. He’d wanted to be comfortable, he’d said. But what if he’d really wanted to make sure that he had the physical evidence that she’d finally made love to him? What if she’d been seeing what she’d wanted to see and not what was really there?

  Shaking her head, she realized that the Zachary she’d gotten to know wouldn’t be manipulative like that. But once the doubt was there she was finding it hard to remove. He hadn’t said that he loved her. He hadn’t, and suddenly she was feeling vulnerable. More vulnerable than she’d ever felt before in her life.

  She might have been naked under the cotton sheet wrapped around her body, but that was nothing compared to how exposed her husband’s sudden manner was making her feel.

  * * *

  Something had changed between them, and not in the way that Zach had expected. Ellie was smiling, she was being cordial, but she wasn’t being herself. There was a distance to her, and he didn’t know how to breach it.

  He didn’t know what it all meant and he had no way of figuring it out. She was closing herself off to him, and he didn’t know why. The whole experience had been amazing, magical, more than he’d ever dreamed of. He couldn’t believe how fantastic it had all been. But almost as soon as she’d caught her breath she’d wanted to leave.

  He’d been disappointed in that fact. Disappointed that she’d wanted to get back to the rest of their lives so soon. And then he’d wondered why. Why the sudden desire to leave? He damn well knew that he hadn’t wanted to, but she’d been almost desperate to get them out of that room.

  Looking over at her again, where she was talking to Clive on the other side of the ballroom, he tried to fathom out her thinking. She’d been eager, desperate even, to move their relationship forward, but now she seemed almost desperate to get away from him. To hide from him.

  Considering that they’d just been as intimate with each other as you could possibly get, Zach felt the most distant he’d ever done from her before.

  “Should we talk about this some other time?” a voice said to his side, and Zach smiled apologetically while he looked at the man he’d been talking to.

  “I’m sorry,” Zach apologized. “It’s fine.”

  “Clearly you’d rather be in the company of your wife, McCormack, business can wait until after the holidays. Spend your time with her instead,” he advised with a hand on Zach’s back before heading off to his own wife.

  With the absence of anyone to divert his thoughts, Zach found his attention zeroing in on his wife again as he thought over possible scenarios of why she’d pulled away.

  As his thoughts circled in his head he started to run through potential reasons. Perhaps Josh had been right with what he’d said on Zach’s wedding day, maybe it hadn’t been good for her. It had been their first time, after all, but he couldn’t really believe that everything he’d experienced had only been one-sided. He would stake his whole fortune on the fact that Ellie had been as lost and enraptured as he’d been at the time.

  What else
then? Why the distance after something so momentous for the both of them? Why was she pulling away from him now? What would be the point? It was their first step towards a real marriage together. They’d finally made love, it was a pivotal point for them. A point for them to grow together from. A momentous point in their marriage and life together. They’d consummated their union, it was …

  Zach’s thoughts trailed off at the sudden thought. They’d consummated their marriage. They’d slept together. They’d finally met the condition of the pre-nup for divorce to become a possibility. Was that what it had all been about? Was that why she’d been so eager? Had she finally been prepared to do whatever she’d needed to do to get out of the marriage that her father had forced her into?

  They’d never exchanged words of love. He hadn’t thought that they’d needed to. He hadn’t thought that it wasn’t the case between them. What if he were wrong though? What if she hadn’t come to him out of love, but instead out of a deep rooted desire to put an end to everything?

  She’d been accepting and welcoming lately, but that was very different to wanting to remain married to somebody. It was very different to being in love with somebody. Could she ever really love him without knowing the truth about their start together? In Ellie’s mind he’d forced her to marry him, he’d threatened her father in an effort to gain her hand. Could she ever really get over that?

  If the roles had been reversed could he have? Could he have ever truly put it in the past and trusted her if he hadn’t figured out her innocence in it all? He didn’t think so. Yes, he’d admitted to himself that he’d wanted her, and admired her for various characteristics and qualities that she had, but that was different to trusting, to loving, to imaging a life together.

  He’d been an idiot. An absolute idiot. He’d jumped the gun. And he’d just given her the means to be able to leave him by doing so.

  * * *

  Ellie had been acutely aware of the tension between her and her husband throughout the charity ball, the drive home, and now the walk up their stairs. She’d also been vividly aware of the strained silence that had grown between them. She was aware, but she couldn’t do anything to change it.