by E. L. Todd
“I know…” Her arms still covered her chest, as if she felt like she was on display.
Despite the argument we just had, I still wanted her. I hadn’t been with anyone since we broke up, and if she’d been with Jason I didn’t care. It didn’t change the way I felt. And if she was still seeing him I didn’t care either. She was mine, as far as I was concerned.
I moved back up her body and positioned myself on top of her. My lips hovered a fraction of an inch away from hers. She was close enough to feel my breaths fall on her face. Her body tensed all over again when I drew close to her, and slowly her arms pulled away from her chest, moving to my arms that were pinned on either side of her body.
I gave her a slow kiss, closed-mouthed and soft. I let everything wash over me, feeling her tits pressed to mine. Her chest rose with the breath she took, and I could feel it expand against me.
I moved my lips to her ear and pulled her closer to me. “Can I make love to you?” She told me to stop before, and I didn’t want to pressure her into something she still didn’t want.
“Please.”
A shiver moved down my spine at her words. The heat in her voice moved me, made me feel alive. My cock found her entrance like it knew it’s way there. I felt the wetness between her legs and knew she still wanted me.
My hand returned to her hair, my favorite place, and I fisted the strands like they belonged to me. I slowly slid inside her, feeling the familiar tightness. I recognized every inch of her, having been there so many times before. It felt good, better than it ever had. It’d been six weeks since I’d had sex, and my body immediately appreciated every second of the experience.
She breathed deeply, every breath coming out as a small whisper. Her hands clung to my back, pulling me further into her. She needed me as much as I needed her.
The second I was inside her I felt better. It wasn’t the physical pleasure that felt so good. It was much more than that. The pains and aches throughout my heart were patched up with her essence. The scars that marked my body faded away. She fixed all the leaks and holes, putting me back together. It was the greatest high I’d ever known. All those nights I slept alone in my truck faded away. It felt like we’d never been apart. It was just she and I—like we’d always been this way.
I kissed her jawline and her neck as I moved inside her, treasuring the taste of her on my tongue. My lips memorized every inch of her skin, knowing exactly where everything was by touch alone. I buried my face in her neck and listened to her moan for me, loving the way I felt inside her. I stretched her in a good way, giving her the kind of pleasure she deserved.
Her nails dragged down my back, cutting into the skin in a sexy way. She panted hard at the same time, breathless and excited. Whenever she touched me, it was with need and not desire. She made me feel loved without a single word. She cared about me in a way no woman ever had. I didn’t feel like a hot guy she picked up in a bar. I felt like something more—something worthwhile. The first time we hooked up seemed to be forgotten. It was like it never happened at all. It never should have happened at all.
I should have made love to her from the beginning.
Dreams
Marie
For the past few weeks my body felt like it’d been in a car wreck. It was smashed and crushed, broken beyond repair. Everything hurt even when I didn’t move.
But now everything was fixed.
I could breathe easy again, feel the air enter my lungs then exist slowly. All the despair that weighed on my shoulders seemed to have disappeared. Now that Axel was back in my life, lying beside me in that very moment, I didn’t have a care in the world.
Axel was wrapped tightly around me, his powerful chest humming like a low-burning engine. With every breath it expanded against me, lulling me into a place of tranquility. The little things he did in bed brought back great memories. The way he sighed just when he readjusted himself still carried on. Sometimes he would snore but it only last a few minutes before he turned his head and stopped. And he never released his hold on me in the middle of night. That was something that never changed.
I had to get up and get to class. I already blew off school yesterday, and Axel couldn’t blow off another day at the office even though he would try. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand and knew I needed to get going.
But it was so hard to leave him.
Axel woke up a moment later, his brain naturally programmed to stir when his alarm was supposed to go off. He stared at the side of my face then leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “Morning, beautiful.”
“Morning.”
He kissed the back of my neck then my shoulder. “I haven’t slept that well in a long time…”
“Me neither.”
He kissed my shoulder again. “I wish we could stay in this bed all day…”
“I do too. But our responsibilities await us.”
“Eh.” He pressed a kiss to the skin between my shoulder blades. “You have the most beautiful skin.”
“Thank you…”
“Actually, you have the most beautiful everything.”
“Thank you again.”
He leaned over me and pressed a kiss to my ear. “I’m going to shower. Wanna join me?”
“I should get home. All my stuff is there.” I’d have to bring a bag of my things so I could stay there on the weekends. Francesca seemed to be self-efficient at this point. Whether Cameron was around or not, she would be fine.
“Alright.” He got out of bed, his hard body looking powerful. Then he pulled on his boxers and t-shirt. “I’ll walk you out.”
I pulled on the clothes I wore the night before and tried not to cringe at the walk of shame I was about to perform. Francesca would have a million questions, and I’d have to answer them without making her throw up.
Axel walked me to the door then cupped my cheeks, staring hard into my face. His thumbs rested on the corners of my mouth. “Last night was fun.”
“It was.”
He pressed his forehead to mine. “Thank you…for everything.”
“You don’t need to thank me. I’ll always be here for you.”
“I know.” He moved his lips to my forehead and gave me a soft kiss, a kind of kiss he’d never given me before. His lips lingered for a long time, feeling searing hot against my skin. “And I’ll always be here for you.”
***
Francesca was just about to leave for class when I walked in. “Tell me everything.”
“Can I come in first?”
She stepped out of the way and followed me all the way into the kitchen. “Same clothes…messy hair…stupid smile. I can connect the dots.”
“Then connect them so I don’t have to talk about it.”
“Did you…?” She didn’t ask the full question because it was too awkward to say it out loud.
I nodded.
Francesca clapped. “About damn time. Shit, you guys took forever.”
“Good things are worth waiting for.”
“So, you guys are back together?”
“Yep.”
“Great. Now everyone is happy. What are the odds of that?”
I poured a mug of coffee and added a splash of cream. “Everything feels right again. I knew something was different yesterday. Maybe forgiving your father loosened him up.”
“Maybe,” she said. “I’m glad you got him to go. No one could have pulled that off but you.”
I made a piece of toast and ate it at the counter.
“What did you do, exactly?”
“Nothing really,” I said. “I just asked him to.”
“Bullshit,” she said. “There must have been something else to it.”
I remembered the words he said right before that. They were an accident but I still heard them. “He said he would never abandon his kids like that. Then he said even if I died he would still be there for them…”
“You? As in, the future mother of his kids?”
I nodded.
; “Awe…” She clapped her hands in a way she hadn’t done in a long time. “That’s so great. I’m so glad he finally came out and said it. It’s so obvious how he feels about you.”
I was glad he finally admitted it too. “At least this story has a happy ending.”
“A great ending,” she said. “But I have a feeling there’s more to the story.” She looked at the time on the coffee pot. “I want to hear more about it when I get home, alright?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Mom.”
She gave me the finger before she walked out.
I finished my coffee then poured the rest out in the sink. There was a pile of dirty dishes, and since I was in a good mood I decided to do them. After I stacked the dishes in the dishwasher I looked out the small window over the sink.
Hawke was walking across the lawn.
What the hell?
I quickly dried my hands and threw down the towel. “What does he want?” I walked to the door and opened it before he even knocked. “You just missed her.” He had to be there for her. What other reason would he have?
“Again, I’m not here for her.”
I kept the disappointment from creeping into my features. “Then what do you want?”
He walked in without being invited. The first thing he did was examine the Spackle he placed over the hole in the wall. He felt it with his fingers before he turned back to me.
“Hawke, just spit it out. I don’t want you to stink up the house.”
“Excuse me?”
“Last time you were here, Francesca could smell you.”
His cold stare changed slightly. Panic entered his eyes. “She knew I was here?”
“I told her a handyman fixed the wall and he must wear your cologne. But she swore it wasn’t cologne—it was you.” If I hadn’t witnessed their relationship first hand I would have thought she was crazy. But they had some sort of connection where they could sense each other, even if they weren’t in the same room at the same time.
“Fuck.” He sighed in frustration then opened the door. “Let’s talk outside.”
I followed him onto the lawn. “What’s up? Francesca might come back so hurry.”
“She won’t. I waited a few minutes to make sure.”
I looked around for his truck but didn’t see it anywhere. “Where’s your truck?”
“I have a car now. And it’s down the street.”
Now I understood why Francesca hadn’t spotted him. If he were in his truck she would have immediately noticed him.
“I just wanted to see how she’s doing. I’d ask Axel but she’s still a touchy subject for him.”
“She’s been a lot better. It seems like she really likes Cameron.”
His eyes quickly looked away, trying to hide the pain that burned right on the surface. He tried to brush it off, to bottle it deep inside, but I could tell that revelation bothered him. “I meant yesterday. Her father’s anniversary.”
He remembered? “She was pretty sad…like usual.”
“Did you go to the cemetery with her?”
“No, but she, Axel, and I were there at the same time.”
“Axel went?” He placed his hands in his pockets.
“Yeah…” Thanks to me.
Hawke understood the significance. “I’m glad you guys got back together.”
“That makes two of us.” I kept the smile off my face because he seemed miserable. It just wasn’t right to be happy when he was barely keeping himself together.
“So, she’s okay?”
“Yeah.” Why did he care so much about her father’s anniversary and not her mother’s? “She visited her mother two weeks ago…” Maybe he forgot. Or maybe he just didn’t know.
“I know. I was there. She seemed okay.”
“You were there?” I blurted.
“She didn’t see me.”
How could she not see him at an empty cemetery? “If you’re still keeping tabs on her why don’t you just get back together with her?”
Hawke acted as though he hadn’t heard a word I said. “I was stuck at the office yesterday and I couldn’t come down. I’m glad she’s doing okay. If she went to school today then she must be fine.”
“She is.”
“Well…that’s all I wanted to know. Thanks for answering my questions.”
Times like this made me hate him. He had no right to check on her wellbeing like it was any of his business, not when he left her so coldly. It was a complete paradox. He loved her but refused to be with her. “Hawke, don’t come back here anymore. I mean it.”
He turned back to me when he heard the threat.
“You can’t have it both ways. You can’t skip town and leave her behind but expect to be involved in her life. You can’t snoop around and watch her from a safe distance. If you care that much about her just be with her. Otherwise, you’re just being nosey.”
Hawke wasn’t as emotional as Axel. He kept the same demeanor no matter how angry he was. “I’m not being nosey. I don’t expect you to understand what exists between Francesca and I. Just because we aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean I don’t care about her. I will always care about her. She doesn’t see me and she has no idea that I’m here. So, there’s no problem.”
“She smelled you, Hawke. Do you understand how weird that is? She took one step in the house and immediately knew. I had to spend ten minutes convincing her she was crazy.”
Hawke took a step back. “Well, we won’t have that problem again. Good bye, Marie.”
“Bye, Hawke,” I said coldly.
He turned away and walked off, heading down the street to wherever his car was parked.
In my heart I knew Hawke was a good person. He came all the way down here to help out Axel, and when he checked on Francesca his heart was in the right place.
But I would always hate him for what he did to Francesca.
***
I sat at the kitchen table and kept the blinds open, loving the beautiful sunset going on right outside my window. My laptop was open with an article I was writing but my heart wasn’t in it. I kept thinking about Axel. My phone sat next to my hand, and I anxiously waited for it to ring.
I wanted to see him.
Francesca’s car drove on the street then pulled into the driveway. She had class and work, so she was getting home later than usual. With her backpack over her shoulder she walked across the lawn and approached the porch.
I watched her, remembering the way Hawke stood outside just a few hours before. He was constantly with her, lurking in the shadows unseen, and she had no idea she was being watched.
She suddenly halted before the stoop, staring at something I couldn’t see. She was still as a statue, her face becoming pale. Then she looked around, searching for something I couldn’t see. She stood there for several minutes, searching and listening for something.
Did she know?
Her face was expressionless as she waited, using all of her senses to find something. After another minute she walked into the house, her face still deathly pale.
“Hey…you alright?” I rose from my chair, prepared for anything.
“Yeah…I’m fine.” She dropped her backpack on the table, her eyes glued to the window.
“You seem…a little off. Did you see something?” There was no way she smelled Hawke’s scent outside. Hours had passed and the smell wafted away in the spring air. There was just no way.
“I thought…” She shook her head. “Nevermind.”
“No, tell me.” When she told me they were soul mates I thought she was just being a hopeless romantic. I never believed her, but now I wasn’t so sure.
“It’s hard to explain…have you ever walked into a room or a place and knew something was different? Everything is exactly the same but not really? The porch just seemed…different. Like something or someone out of place had been there.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Not really.”
“It was almost like…nevermind.” She
walked around me and headed to the fridge.
“No, I want to know.”
“You’ll think I’m weird.”
“I already do. But tell me anyway.”
She grabbed a bottle of water and shut the door. “I just feel him. Like he was there or something.”
“Who’s him?” This couldn’t be happening.
“Hawke…”
My mind was officially blown. How did she know that? How could she tell? He was there for ten minutes before he left. There wasn’t enough time to taint the air, the plants, or anything else in the area.
But somehow she knew.
Maybe she was right all along. Maybe whatever they had was beyond human understanding. Maybe what they had really was special. Maybe their souls really originated from the same place and they found each other on this earth. Once they touched they were constantly connected—near and far.
***
Axel didn’t call me yesterday, which I thought was strange. We just got back together so didn’t he want to be with me all the time? I missed him like crazy even though I just had him. He didn’t feel the same way?
Maybe I was reading too much into it. He probably had to work late and had a lot to catch up on. On top of that, he had his own interviews to prepare for. My interview with Prada was tomorrow afternoon and I tried not to freak out about it. If I got that job it would change my life forever. And if I didn’t get it, it would change my life forever.
“I’m surprised Axel isn’t here.” Francesca just finished showering and drying her hair. Her face was free of make up and she wore shorts and a t-shirt.
“Me too.”
“Is he coming over tonight? Are you going over there?”
“I haven’t heard from him.”
Francesca raised both eyebrows before she walked into the kitchen and made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “That’s strange. I figured you guys would be all over each other, all the time.”
“That makes two of us. I’m sure he’ll call.”
Like he’d been listening, my phone lit up with a text message.
“There we go,” Francesca said. “The greatest love affair of all time begins…”
I read the message. Hey. Can I come over?
Did he really need to ask? Of course.