Dirty Games

by HelenKay Dimon

  Alec walked over and leaned against the bumper where Justin sat. “Where’s Finn?”

  He knew. While Justin yelled and demanded answers about Finn, Alec had been right behind him. The doctor finally kicked them both out of the medical tent. And now they waited for Finn walk out on his own steam.

  “The doctor wanted to check him over one more time.” Justin wanted Finn in a hospital bed back in the States. Somewhere safe, thousands of miles away from attacks by gunrunners.

  “Probably a good idea, since he’s almost been killed several times since getting here.”

  Justin wasn’t in the mood for another fight with Alec. He’d shown up after the shoot-out and nearly ripped apart the medical compound with his bare hands to get to Finn. “Don’t start.”

  They both watched as crates of weapons were brought up and carried out of the tunnel, then loaded on trucks. Guards handled every move. Sharpshooters were stationed on the watchtower and the water tower, just in case.

  They’d found the weapons. They were in the tunnel Karim had searched. It was equally easy to grab Ty’s men. They were the ones lying facedown on the ground in blood, thanks mainly to Rania’s team. A few others tried to run and were caught. Justin knew others were smart enough to blend in, including one Finn said was on Justin’s own security team. But Justin would ferret him out. No doubt about that.

  Special forces had already picked up the politician on Ty’s payroll and were dismantling Ty’s living quarters. After she bandaged up Nabil and declared he would be okay, Kit then suffered through rounds of questions and Justin doubted that would stop anytime soon.

  Alec turned and faced Justin. “Be sure.”

  Cryptic bullshit. Great. “What does that mean?”

  “He’s talking about staying here. We both know that’s about you and not the work.”

  Justin refused to engage with Alec on this topic or anything related to Finn. He and Finn would work it out. But all that could wait until they knew Finn was okay. He’d been attacked and in two car accidents now. The doctors said he’d escaped a concussion one more time, but he had bruised ribs and a smashed-up knee that would need a lot of medical attention. Those issues, combined with the cuts and injuries, meant Finn would be down for a while.

  He needed rest. He didn’t need Alec hovering or Justin causing trouble.

  As much as Justin didn’t want to dive into the details, he had no choice when Alec stood there not talking. “He wants to expand the charity division of your company, which strikes me as a decent thing to do.”

  “And you think he can’t make that happen from his desk in Germany? From Paris. Hell, from Ceuta?”

  That was good news. Finn wanted to be with him. Justin took that information and turned it over in his head. He expected a wave of relief or happiness, but panic swamped him, shaking him from the inside out.

  But still…“Finn is a grown man.”

  “I know my brother. He doesn’t fall hard.”

  Fall, love…Justin wasn’t ready for any of that talk.

  He slid off the car’s hood. His legs were shaky when his feet hit the ground, but they held him up. “This isn’t your business.”

  “Just know what you want. If this thing between you two is to get this crush out of your system, or because you think he’s hot or to fight off boredom for a while, walk away.” When Justin tried to do just that to this conversation, Alec grabbed his arm and kept talking. “He is a commitment. He is not someone you play with.”

  Like he didn’t fucking know that. That knowledge haunted his dreams. Made him question everything.

  He wasn’t good enough. His relationships ended in ashes. No real family. His army friends had abandoned him. His one real romantic relationship before this had imploded. He had Oliver, but that was because Oliver refused to be pushed aside.

  Finn deserved better.

  Since he didn’t want to go into any of that—hell, he couldn’t deal with it right now—he fell back on anger. Let it fill him and turned it loose on Alec. “Back off. Your brother and I will work out what we are.”

  “That’s my point, Justin.” Alec’s hand dropped as he stood up straight. “You aren’t a commitment guy. I know, because we’re alike.”

  The truth of that statement sliced through Justin. He didn’t stick around for the long term. He had work and…well, work. Sure, he’d had this thing, this inexplicable thing for Finn for what felt like forever, but that didn’t count…did it?

  Justin tried to fight through the doubts. “You’re supposed to be on the verge of proposing to Gaige.”

  “If that’s where you are with Finn or where it’s headed, fine. Put in the time and make it work.” People buzzed around them but Alec didn’t bother to lower his voice. His only deference to the crowd was stepping closer to Justin. “But if this is temporary for you, if the plan is to screw around then move on, do not do it.”

  Justin struggled to keep up with the conversation. “The shovel talk. Really?”

  “Shovel?”

  “You know. Hurt my brother and I’ll bury you in the desert.”

  “I’m telling you to be in this as a relationship or stay away from him. Because—and hear me when I say this, Justin—if you mess with him and hurt him, I will fucking kill you.” Alec’s face was drawn; his eyes empty of emotion. Every line of his tense body said he was not playing games. “No one will find your body. So, yeah, this is the shovel talk.”

  Not just a big brother issuing a warning. A desperate plea disguised as a threat.

  Every word Alec said broke through Justin’s defenses. He stood at this wall and the question was whether he should break it and walk through or retreat. He’d been retreating his whole damn life. “I care about him.”

  “Not good enough and you know it.” Alec’s jaw clenched. “Walk away.”

  It was sound advice. They’d both avoid the heartache. Hell, Justin didn’t know he could even feel this much for anyone. “It’s not your decision.”

  Alec hesitated for a second before talking again. “No, it’s yours, and I’m asking you—for once—not to be a dick.”

  Chapter 23

  Two days later Finn and Justin stood in Justin’s abandoned office. The party would be winding down soon. It was a celebration ordered by Alec to thank the workers at the camp and give those temporarily staying there a chance to enjoy a few hours of peace. He gave a speech before heading out.

  Finn snuck away because the idea of drinking and having fun while Kamir and Nabil continued to recover from their wounds, while Rania took care of her dead and Kit mourned, did nothing for Finn. His own bruises and wounds would take weeks, possibly longer, to heal. But he was up and functioning. And grateful.

  He tore his gaze away from the large map on the wall and looked at Justin sitting behind his desk. “Alec is on his way to Paris. I hope Gaige makes his life miserable before forgiving him.”

  But Justin wasn’t listening. He grabbed the file Finn had brought with him and absently dropped on the desk. “What’s this?”

  Now was not the time. Finn reached for it. “We can talk about it later.”

  Justin pulled it away. “How about now?”

  There was no real reason to hide the contents. Finn didn’t plan to make it a secret. But he would prefer a break before launching into something new. He felt as if he’d barely settled the last issue. Even now it grated against him to know Ty’s partners were out there, dealing in weapons and raising the danger level in the area.

  Justin scanned the file, turning pages at a good clip. Practically ripping the sheets as he went. When he reached the end, he dropped the file and looked up at Finn.

  “It’s an account for you,” Finn said, stating the obvious. Sure, it was registered under a pile of corporate names for Justin’s protection, but this was for his sole use.

  �
�Money? You’re paying me for sex now?”

  Justin’s voice sounded odd. Scratchy, almost distant. And that accusation. What the fuck was that about? “What is wrong with you?”

  “What’s next? Maybe you could keep an apartment and we could meet here once a month for sex. You could fly me on your fancy private jet to Paris for a blow job.”

  “That would have to be a hell of a blow job.”

  Justin shoved the file away from him and it fell to the floor. “You don’t need to do this. I’m not squealing to human resources. I won’t sue you.”

  Finn didn’t bother to pick up the papers. He couldn’t actually move, not when he’d been whipped up in another hurricane of Justin’s anger.

  They could not be doing this again.

  “Where is this coming from?” he asked. “You put the worst spin on everything I do.”

  “Then tell me exactly what that file, the account, is about.” Justin leaned back in his chair, his arms folded in front of him.

  He might pretend he wanted answers but he had shut down. His body language telegraphed that message.

  After a quick visual check around the room, Finn continued. “It’s for your side job. You don’t need to use your money to help people in emergency situations. That’s what the fund will be for.” And just so they were clear, Finn added the obvious caveat. “No strings.”

  “There are always strings.”

  “Not for me.” They’d been down this road. Not this exact one, but the one where Finn was painted as the bad guy by virtue of his last name. The cycle destroyed Finn. Shook his confidence in Justin.

  “Come on, Finn.”

  “You’re so sure I have an ulterior motive. What is it?” Finn couldn’t figure out what he’d done to cause the problem this time.

  They’d done so well. After their last fight they’d settled into a comfortable pattern. No more accusations. They trusted each other, slept together. Battled their demons, both from the past and the more recent ones with guns.

  “You can’t buy your way out of this.”

  The words slammed into Finn, but he guessed that was the point. “Out of what?”

  “Your guilt, I guess. Whatever it is you rich boys do when you get a little twitchy about your privileged life, so you unload some money.” Justin rocked back in his chair as if he weren’t cutting and slicing at Finn with his words. “Give to this charity. Say the right words and absolve your sins.”

  “We’re back to that?” Finn couldn’t sit another minute. He stood up and walked around to the back of his chair. “You are unbelievable.”

  “Look, I admit you do decent work here. You gave a shit. Congratulations, you’re better than most.”

  Such a condescending dick. “Shut up.”

  “Because you’re the boss.”

  “No, because you’re an asshole.” Finn no longer wanted to hold back. The need to unload clawed at him. It would be so easy to spew his disappointment.

  “Sorry, did I hit too close to the truth?”

  Finn crouched and grabbed the file. No one else needed to see it. It was for Justin’s use, at his discretion. “You don’t know anything about me.”

  “About your private prep school or how hard it was to have a nanny to take you shopping because Mommy was having a ladies’ lunch?”

  Rage poured through Finn now. It fed him, made him want to tell every detail. He knew it was defensive and unnecessary, but the words rushed out before he could think them through.

  “More like how my sister killed herself after she was raped at college, and how my mother followed her because she was so despondent she couldn’t help her own daughter cope.” When Justin’s mouth dropped open, Finn talked faster. He needed it all out. “Then there was the part where my dad was a complete dick. Violent. A liar. Destructive. Dangerous. How he stole from the business and formed a plan with his brother to kill Alec because Alec had figured it out.”

  Justin’s eyes narrowed. “Is that true?”

  “You think the bank account defines me. No, a pile of family shit does.” So much dysfunction. His family tree grew in it. But Finn was determined to break the cycle. He would not marry because it was time. He refused to lure partners and friends to the table with promises of gifts or cash.

  He liked the ease the money brought. He hated the baggage.

  “But you have to admit you had it easier than most,” Justin said.

  “Fine, Justin. You win.” The folder crumpled in Finn’s fist. “I did have it easier. I didn’t have to kill my own food or escape to somewhere else to survive.”

  “My point was, money doesn’t solve everything.”

  “We both know it buys food and transportation. It pays bribes.” It could be used here, where it would matter. “I’m hoping you can stop hating who I am long enough to use it for those who need it.”

  But whatever Justin decided, he would need to do it alone. Finn’s resolve broke. All those times he stood there and took it or forgave and came back. Those were done. He’d made a vow that Justin would have to meet him partway. And he hadn’t budged an inch.

  Without another word, Finn headed for the door. He needed out of the camp, maybe out of Morocco.

  “Finn, wait.”

  “Fuck you, Justin.”

  * * *

  —

  Three hours later Justin still sat at his desk. His muscles were frozen. Sitting there, not moving, kept him from breaking apart.

  Even with the party over, the camp’s festive atmosphere continued. People walked around outside. Justin could hear singing and talking. He’d bet most people enjoyed the downtime. It made him want to scream. He needed to fill his brain. Not have time to think.

  He’d screwed up this time. He’d jumped to conclusions, let his anger take hold. The fund, that money, hit him from out of nowhere. His mind immediately flipped to the worst connotation.

  He pushed Finn away before he could run.

  What a fucking mess.

  Oliver opened the door and stepped inside the office tent. He dropped a small plate of cake in front of Justin. His smile faded a second later. “You look like shit.”

  “I know.”

  Oliver usually sat but he stayed on his feet this time. “This have anything to do with Finn leaving?”

  He’d stalked out of the office hours ago. Justin had to wonder if Oliver was keeping watch now. There was no other explanation…or was there? “What are you talking about?”

  “Karim drove him out about an hour ago.”

  “To Fnideq?” Justin tried not to think about the couch there. Or the bed.

  “This is getting tiresome, Justin. I thought you didn’t care.”

  “Just answer the question.”

  Oliver sighed as he sat down. “Can we have a serious, friend-to-friend talk?”

  “No.”

  Oliver shoved the cake to the side but kept his glare aimed at Justin. “Getting ticked off at Finn isn’t the answer.”

  He couldn’t do this. He’d barely recovered from Finn’s walkout. The day, the adrenaline drain, caught up with him. Exhaustion tugged at his muscles. He was not up for a verbal battle with Oliver. “I said no.”

  “Ignore Alec.”

  The name echoed through Justin’s head. Everything he’d said about Finn. It all made so much sense in the moment. Now Justin could poke it, rip it apart. “This isn’t about him.”

  “You let him get in your head. You let your insecurities take hold.”

  Not insecurities. Facts. The truth was, he did better alone, focusing on work, not even trying personal relationships. That was safer. Smarter. The only way to survive.

  “Justin?”

  He grabbed onto the armrests of his chair. He wished he could deny that part, but he couldn’t. “He’s not wrong. About me and Finn. Ab
out this not being the life for Finn.”

  “And about how Finn could do better?” Oliver leaned forward. “That was his line, right? He was testing you, Justin. He wanted to see if you would blow it, and you did.”

  “My natural reaction is to think the worst.”

  “Yeah, it’s part of your charm.” Oliver sighed. “It’s also, as you like to say, complete bullshit.”

  “I…” Justin’s mind clouded. Ideas that were so clear a few seconds ago blurred on him now. A test? Letting his doubts and Alec’s comments run his life. That’s not how he operated. Not in his work life. Maybe he should handle his dating life with the same confidence. He honestly didn’t know, because he’d never tried. Never bothered. “I’m not so sure.”

  “You have it bad for Finn. It’s possible you even love him. Hard to tell what with all the moping.”

  Justin needed a moment to think. So many facts bounced around in his head. He needed a few seconds to put them together. “Stop talking.”

  “He’s different, Justin.”

  He was. Justin didn’t debate that. But those differences made a “them” impossible…right? Things that seemed so clear—absolute facts—a second ago grew hazy on him now. He tried to concentrate on the words and what he needed to do, because that would block out the desperation to go grab Finn and bring him back.

  He took one last stab at common sense. “What’s going to happen? I can’t have a partner nearby. It’s illegal in this country, and how does a billionaire shack up here? He’s used to…”

  Oliver clapped. “Fantastic, we’ve finally gotten to it then.”

  “What?”

  “That’s what this is, right? You are convinced he’ll leave. You don’t really have biological family. Your friends abandoned you. So, the plan is to push Finn away before he can leave you, too.” Oliver snorted. “And good show, because you certainly have made it tough for him to stay.”