Stay

by Jennifer Sucevic

  “But don’t change in there, okay?” Smiling slightly, his gaze holds mine. “Wait until you get back here to do that.”

  His words have my eyes flaring wide. Gently, almost as if the shorts and shirt are a bomb, I carefully lay them on the bed before fleeing to the bathroom down the hall. Shutting the door, I quickly lock it before leaning against it. My heart jackhammers almost to the point of painfulness.

  What have I gotten myself into?

  Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

  Gnawing on my bottom lip, I squeeze my eyes tightly shut before doing a quick self-check. Inhaling a deep steady breath, I slowly blow it out. Nope, I’m not having any breathing issues. My chest isn’t tight. My stomach isn’t nauseous. Well, other than the hundreds of butterflies that have suddenly winged their way to life within me.

  I’m okay.

  I am not going to freak out.

  I take a few more deep breaths trying to calm my rampaging nerves.

  When I finally return from the bathroom, Cole is sitting in the comfy armchair tucked into the corner. He’s leaning over, his elbows resting on his knees. His long muscular legs sprawled out in front of him. Hearing me, he quickly glances up. Already he’s changed into a faded t-shirt and athletic shorts very similar to the ones he gave me. My shirt and shorts are still sitting neatly folded on the end of the bed.

  Which now seems to dominate the bedroom…

  His eyes hold mine steadily as he comes to his feet. “I’ll turn so you can change.”

  Releasing a quick nervous breath, I watch as he crosses his arms over his chest before turning his broad back to me. For just a moment or two, I stand there feeling strangely paralyzed before I finally pick up the soft t-shirt and unfold it. Timber Wolves Hockey. My fingers trail slowly over the navy embossed letters of the shirt. Glancing at him quickly to make sure his back is still turned, I bring the shirt to my nose before inhaling.

  Cole.

  It smells just like him. The ocean and something that’s just plain masculine. For some reason, the mere thought of wearing his clothing, being cocooned in his scent, has my belly hollowing out.

  Even though his back is to me, I still turn away before stripping out of my shirt and bra. With trembling fingers, I slide my jeans down my hips and legs before whipping on Cole’s faded gray t-shirt and athletic shorts. I yank the shorts up to my waist but they’re a few sizes too big, so they keep slipping down my hips.

  I’m trying to tighten the draw string when his fingers suddenly brush mine aside before pulling the string tight and tying it in a gentle knot just below my belly button. His knuckles brush ever so gently over the soft skin of my stomach. His touch has me sucking in a deep shuddering breath just as his eyes slice to mine.

  Clearing his throat, he backs away slowly until there is once again distance between us. “Better?”

  “Yes.” Those butterflies have become frenzied at his slightest caress. I’m not sure just how much of this I can handle. There is a small part of me that wants to do more than just sleep in his bed. But the other part, the smarter part, knows I’m not emotionally ready for that yet. In actuality, I’m probably pushing the boundaries of what I can handle without having a small (or God forbid- huge) freak out. And I don’t want Cole to see me like that. He’s already seen enough.

  Standing in front of him, I realize that everything has finally quieted downstairs. My eyes slide from his to the queen sized bed we’re both standing in front of. Once again my nerves ratchet up a few notches. Pushing people away has become my specialty over the last year and yet Cole has somehow managed to sneak his way right past all my defenses.

  But I don’t want to put myself in a situation that I’ll end up regretting later on. I’ve already made too many mistakes. I just can’t afford any more. I force my gaze back to Cole who is silently watching me.

  As if he’s able to read my thoughts, he quietly offers, “I could always pile pillows in the middle of the bed like a wall if that would make you feel better.” He pauses, “Or I could just sleep in the chair. I really don’t want you to be uncomfortable, Cassidy.” His eyes hold mine and in his gaze I see that he really does mean everything he’s saying to me. He isn’t just trying to lure me into bed where he can take advantage of me. Then he offers just a hint of a lopsided smile. “I promise, nothing is going to happen between us. Remember? We’ve totally slow tracked this relationship.”

  Maybe I shouldn’t, but I believe him because those words seem to somehow dissolve the thick slab of tension that has been sliding through me. Shaking my head, I suddenly feel foolish. “No, it’s fine.” Then I reemphasize, “I’m fine with this.” Because I want to be. I don’t want him thinking that I’m some weird chick who constantly loses her shit.

  Moving at the same time, we both lift the covers before settling onto our respective sides. When we’re both comfortably settled, Cole snaps off the light on his bedside table plunging the room into darkness. There’s still a low buzz of activity downstairs but for the most part, it has calmed considerably. For just a moment we both stare silently up at the ceiling, almost as if each of us is afraid to speak or move a single muscle.

  At least I am.

  Finally, after about two minutes of holding myself perfectly rigid, I finally turn my body towards him. He does the same until we’re facing each other. There’s about twelve inches of space separating us and I’m good with that. Even though I kind of want to run my fingers over all those gorgeous angles and planes of his face, I don’t. With the moonlight filtering in, I can see those liquid golden eyes of his quietly watching me.

  He doesn’t make a single move towards me either. Perhaps it’s foolish to trust him so soon, but I do. I want to believe in him.

  And I like Cole.

  I like him quite a bit actually. That thought arrows through me like a bright flame. There hasn’t been another guy like Cole in my life. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. And yeah, sometimes that scares me but it also makes me feel kind of excited at the same time.

  “What are you thinking about so quietly over there?” His soft words slide over me in the darkness.

  I suck in a deep breath before gradually pushing out the words. “That I don’t want to make any more mistakes.” And even though I like Cole… way more than I want to, he could very possibly be a mistake.

  “Do you think this is a mistake?” He doesn’t sound offended, just curious. As if he’s willing to prove one way or the other that being with him, trusting him, isn’t a mistake at all.

  Feeling tense, I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know.” I really hope not. Before he can say anything more, I murmur solemnly, “I made a lot of mistakes last year. I don’t want to add to them.” I’m trying to be as truthful as I can without getting into the whole sordid story. Because I’m not ready for that either.

  “This isn’t a mistake.” He sounds completely self-assured. Which, again, is such a turn on.

  There is no end to Cole’s sexiness. And it’s so much more than his good looks. He really is a nice guy. So sweet and confident in who he is. He almost makes me believe that whatever is happening between us can’t be misconstrued as anything other than right. And I want so very badly to believe him.

  To believe in him.

  I want that more than I’ve wanted anything in a really long time. I suddenly crave the intimacy he’s making me believe I can have with him.

  “You sound so sure.”

  “I’m going to touch your face, okay?”

  Sucking in another breath, I nod my head just once but even in the darkness that has settled around us, it’s enough. Slowly he lifts his hand before I feel his fingers gently stroke over my cheek. Sucking in a trembling breath, I close my eyes. His touch feels so good. So right. The feather light caress of his fingers as they trail across my skin has shivers sliding through me. If he notices, he doesn’t say a word.

  “Cassidy.”

  As if commanded, I open my eyes before they lo
ck on his. “If you can’t believe in you, then believe in me because I am sure about us. You just have to trust me not to hurt you. Tonight I have the only girl I want in my bed and I’m not going to mess that up. I’m not going to rush you into something you’re uncomfortable with. You’re the one in control here. It’s all up to you, okay?”

  I sigh softly as his fingers continue stroking over my cheeks. Awakening so many different emotions within me. Never has a guy said anything like that to me before. Sometimes Cole seems almost too good to be true.

  Holding my gaze with his own, he inches just a bit closer. I keep breathing, enjoying the sensation of his gentle fingers stealing over my flesh. When I don’t protest, he scoots just a fraction closer until I can feel his minty breath feathering softly across my lips.

  Unconsciously my eyes fall to his mouth. There’s no way any guy should have such perfect lips. And I know exactly what they feel like sliding over mine. Again, even in the swirling darkness, it’s like he can read my thoughts which should feel scary, but it doesn’t.

  “I want to kiss you.” He waits a beat. Then two as my heart hammers painfully under my breast. “Tell me not to kiss you, Cassidy, and I won’t. I won’t touch you at all.”

  My gaze slowly bounces from his lips to his eyes and somehow I know that he isn’t the kind of guy who will force himself on me. He’s asking for my permission and he’ll be okay with whatever I decide. It gives me a feeling of control even though I don’t necessarily feel in control of the feelings that are ricocheting painfully through me.

  It almost surprises me when I hear the scrape of my own voice filling the stillness between us. “Kiss me.”

  One side of his beautiful mouth quirks up at the corner. And then his lips are softly caressing mine, coaxing them to open under their tender pressure. He’s so gentle. Not tentative or unsure but not overbearing either. The care he’s taking only makes me want him more. So much more. Something hot slides right through me as he continues playing havoc with my lips. He doesn’t shove his tongue in my mouth or down my throat which I have, unfortunately, suffered through.

  No, what he does is absolutely perfect.

  He simply nibbles at my lips all the while using light teasing strokes that feather their way across mine. A tiny whimper escapes as he continues tormenting me with soft touches. There is nothing demanding or punishing about it. If there had been, I think I would have started to feel panicky but this kiss, it makes me want to move closer, it has me wanting to run my tongue along the seam of those lovely lips of his. It has me wanting to plunge my tongue into the warm haven of his mouth and explore it just like I’ve secretly dreamed of doing ever since I first met him.

  I have no idea just how long we lay there, wrapped up in each other’s arms, legs entwined, bodies so close that I feel every single hard line and muscle. Our lips continue touching, stroking over one another until I’m nearly drunk with the rich taste of him. And then finally, when I don’t think I can stand one more moment of it, his tongue flicks the corner of my mouth and I moan. The sound that escapes is low, achy, and full of need. Cole groans in response, moving even closer. Nipping at my bottom lip, he sucks the fullest part of it into his mouth. His hands hold my face gently in place. Not once do they stray.

  And that, believe it or not, has me brushing and rubbing my body against his in delicious need.

  He nibbles and licks at my lips until I want to scream with the thick tension sliding its way through my entire body. Taking just a bit of the control he claims I have, I begin licking at his lips in return. I run my tongue over him before finally dipping it into his mouth, plunging us both into a caress that has our tongues mingling and our teeth scraping against each other in hunger.

  It’s almost surprising just how turned on I am. I haven’t felt interested in guys, or sex for that matter, in a really long time. Almost a year. And since the desire hasn’t been there, I haven’t bothered with… well, let’s just say I haven’t felt the need to take matters into my own hands and leave it at that.

  Just as quickly as those thoughts enter my mind, they scatter as Cole teases me by gently sucking my tongue into his mouth. Silently I admit that maybe he’s right. Maybe this isn’t a mistake because how could a mistake possibly feel this wonderful? I want to die with the hot molten pleasure flooding through my quivering body as I push myself against him.

  I’m not sure how long we explore every little nuance of each other’s mouths. All I know is that the first fingers of light are just starting to stretch across the horizon when I finally fall asleep in Cole’s strong arms, completely and utterly wrapped up in him. There is such an odd feeling of contentment that has settled over me. I don’t understand it, but neither do I want to question it. It feels much too lovely and so I snuggle up against him, allowing myself to finally relax into his solid warmth before falling asleep.

  Chapter Twelve

  With my brows knit tightly together, I glance around suspiciously before asking, “What are we doing here?” Because it’s just about five in the morning and the ice rink is still closed. The lights are off, the concession stand locked up tight, not even a maintenance guy on duty to question our presence.

  Even though this isn’t the first time I’ve posed the question, Cole continues to be rather tight lipped about the whole thing. He just keeps telling me that it’s a surprise.

  The first wave of questions fell from my lips as we stood outside the arena and I’d realized that it wasn’t open. But then Cole had rather surprisingly produced a key. Which, I’m not going to lie, struck me as a little bit sketchy. The last thing I need at this point in my life is a police record to go along with all the other BS I put my parents through last year. Because they would, without a doubt, disown me.

  Officially.

  At this point it’s all very unofficial.

  But I trust Cole. I do. He doesn’t strike me as someone who engages in criminal activity. And right now, I’m really hoping I’m not wrong about that. Then again, he’s never done anything to warrant any mistrust on my behalf either. For some reason, my mind tumbles back to Friday night.

  And all that kissing.

  Which had been… well, for lack of a better word… hot.

  Unequivocally, hands down, no holds barred, hot. My belly fills with heat just thinking about it. I’ve never spent that much time kissing someone before. Yeah… definitely hot.

  Even though I had wanted so much more than kissing, I was glad we hadn’t gone any further.

  Ah, but those kisses...

  One thing is definitely for certain- Cole knows how to kiss. His lips are amazing. Who knew that just licking and nipping at someone’s mouth could be so erotic. But it was. It so totally was.

  More amazing than that- I hadn’t panicked. Not one little bit. No anxiety. No chest tightening. Nothing. I had felt perfectly safe and more importantly, in control of the situation. It was as if Cole knew exactly what I needed and had given it to me.

  “Cassidy?” He waves a hand in front of my face instantly snapping me out of the sexy little haze just starting to cloud my brain.

  With my eyes arrowing to his, I murmur, “Um hmm?”

  Grinning, as if he knows exactly what had been running through my mind, he steps just a bit closer before wrapping his muscular arms around me. “Whatcha thinking about that has such a sexy little smile lighting up your face?”

  My eyes widen and I’m pretty sure a hot blush steels over my cheeks because I can literally feel the heat of it before I clear my suddenly dry throat. “I was just wondering if this little surprise of yours is going to end with us riding in the back of a police cruiser.”

  He chuckles, tugging me closer before nipping at my lips. “Awww, damn, how’d you guess?” His eyes turn all hot as liquid warmth floods through me.

  I am in so much trouble with this guy.

  The lazy warmth that had just begun sliding through me dissipates as I elbow him quickly in the ribs. With one last kiss, he leads me through the
deserted lobby to the counter where they keep the rental skates. Disappearing through the door, he asks, “What size are you?”

  “Eight,” I answer, still wondering what he’s up to.

  A few moments later he returns with an ugly pair of brown rental skates which he holds by the blades in one hand. “Okay, let’s go.”

  “We’re seriously going to skate?” I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. We are, after all, at a skating rink. But it’s an empty, closed skating rink.

  Misunderstanding my question, a huge grin tumbles over his handsome face as he teases, “What, you don’t know how to skate?” He reaches out, gently stroking my cheek before replying with a little wink, “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you. It’s not that hard.”

  One of my brows quirks up but I don’t say a word. So he thinks I don’t know how to skate, huh? Well this should be amusing.

  “Come on, it’ll be fun.” He persists as if trying to convince me. Which is kind of hilarious. “I promise.”

  “Oh, it’ll definitely be fun,” I agree innocently.

  “I’ve been teaching skating lessons here since I was in high school. If I can teach five and six year olds, then I can definitely teach you how to skate in no time at all.”

  His words almost have me skidding to a halt.

  Not wanting to give myself away, I bite back the sharp retort about my skating abilities. Because he’s definitely in trouble now. Instead, I grab the skates from him before pulling my lips into a tight smile. “I can’t wait.”

  Cole turns on the lights as I plunk myself down on a bench inside the frigid rink before unlacing the boots and shoving my foot inside each brown skate. My God these are the ugliest things I’ve ever seen. I’ll probably be falling all over the place in them. Silently I inspect each blade. Crappy skates but at least the blades appear to be freshly sharpened which should help.

  Hopefully.

  Then again, having not skated since last December, maybe I really will end up on my ass. I can’t believe how strange it feels to be lacing these things up. Especially since they aren’t mine. A year ago, I wouldn’t have been caught dead in skates like these. I’d always had the newest and best equipment on the market. Each pair of skates had been molded to my foot for a perfect fit.