“You’re welcome. Good night then, Sir.” I push past him toward the door, and only pause when another thought hits me. I don’t turn back as I say, “Don’t punish her, Mr. Heart. She is hurt and lonely. I regret that she didn’t think she could come to me with her troubles, but I can understand her.”
“Why should she come to you? You’re not her boyfriend, Haden,” her mother points out. She must’ve just entered the room. Her tone is weird, cautious, as if she’s waiting for something, and I have no idea what.
“No, Ma’am,” I agree. “I’m not. However, I’m her best friend, and it would’ve been safer to come to me than stay out all night. And now, I really need to go, I have practice in the morning.” And football is my everything.
Only I didn’t once think about the early practice until now… and still I turn back to them one last time.
“Tell her I’ll be here to pick her up for school.”
Screw practice, Camou needs me more, and I want to see her before we meet up at school, need to see that her demons have left her once more.
Camou
Camou
“Come on, guys, you play like a bunch of old ladies!”
We’re behind by a field goal, and though that’s only three points, there are less than five minutes left on the clock. It’s either win and play in the championship, or lose and watch how others take home the trophy.
I know Lowell’s dying to get a ring, and I want it for him because it’s his last season. Granted, it would be coming close to a wonder, but hey, we all know those exist, right?
“Can’t you talk a little more like the girl you are?” someone snarls next to me and I turn to find Mandy, dressed in shorts and a jersey. She tied it around her stomach to show the skin, and put a clip between the bottom and the collar to make her boobs spill out. I arch a brow at her and bite my cheek while leaning forward.
“Lowell, you asshat, are you gonna let him have your weak side? Seriously? I guess you don’t want to win after all,” I scream on purpose, talking like I know the guys would.
Haden briefly glances at me, giving me the finger, and I grin, knowing he does so as well.
“One of the boys,” Mandy snorts and I sit back down. The defense is on and, therefore, Haden’s out of the game for now.
“Well, at least I get to skinny dip with them in the summer since I’m one of the boys.” I shrug and don’t turn, even though I want to see her face.
“You’re not.”
“Well, Haden’s tattoo, right above… actually, I don’t think I should tell you that.” I shouldn’t tease her. Lowell crushed on her for a while there, and then changed his mind when she finally replicated the feelings. I don’t think they’d be a very good match, but hey, if it makes him happy.
“He has a tattoo?” she sputters and I sigh.
He does. His dad paid for it when he turned sixteen and he’s been religious about not letting his mother see it. The piercing in his lip was the first thing he had done when turning eighteen. He’ll be out of school soon, leaving for college all the way in Cali. We wanted to go together, or rather I was supposed to follow him, because… well, best friends.
My plans changed though, and I haven’t found the guts to tell him yet. Then again, there’s still more than a year left until I have to go, and who knows, by then he’ll probably have forgotten all about me and found new best friends.
A roar goes through the crowd and I jump to my feet. The offense is back on because there was a fumble, and damn, it’s not even fifteen yards to the end zone. Hell, we could still win this game. One touchdown and we’re all in.
I make my way down the last two rows, too hyped to sit, and honestly, if we win I wanna be one of the first to hurry to Haden. I don’t know what’s going on with me lately, but the need to be close to him, around him, is almost overwhelming.
Three minutes left on the clock. Three. That’s nothing, and yet, everything can happen. One lucky throw, that’s all we need. And Lowell knows how tothrow those. I’ve seen him do it a hundred times.
“Lowell, move it! If someone can change this game, it’s our offense,” I call and the coach winks me over. I’ve sat through so many practices, I half belong to the team. If the guys weren’t terrified of crushing me, I might have tried out. Wouldn’t that be fun? I’d probably be the first girl on a football team!
One of ours breaks free—Dan actually—and I’m worried Haden doesn’t see him. He has his head lowered, the football in his hand as if he’s contemplating running by himself. Then he suddenly spins and throws. I watch as the ball makes a perfect curve, only to land softly in Dan’s arms—in the end zone. The crowd goes wild and my heart’s beating in my throat while I watch the rest. They score the field goal too, probably because they are riding a high unlike ever before, and then the defense does everything they can to secure the win.
The moment the whistle blows, ends my torture, and I scream. I can’t help it. Lowell throws his helmet to the ground and the guys pound their chests like gorillas. I press my hands to my cheeks, knowing I’m flushed, then Haden’s gaze finds me and my feet propel me forward.
I run straight into a hard chest, and I duck to look around the player, only to find Mandy—in a lip-lock with Haden.
“Don’t I get a kiss? Winning scorer, after all.”
My brain’s empty; so much so that Dan’s words echo around inside my skull, bouncing from side to side until I expect them to come out the other side of my head.
“Superstar,” I whisper with little enthusiasm and he lifts my chin. His hand is still glove-covered and rough against my skin.
“We won,” he says as if I need the reminder, and finally I pull myself together and nod vigorously.
“Oh my God, yes! Yes!” He’s hot in his football uniform. Then again, most guys are. It must be something about the tight pants and wide shoulders, I assume.
“So, kiss?” I haven’t gotten around to telling Dan yet, that maybe we shouldn’t be dating. Fine, I was too much a coward until now, and I honestly don’t think it would be fair to ruin his big day, but do I want to kiss him?
Yes, my brain provides. Your first kiss. Use the chance.
I hate the reminder that, at seventeen, I’m un-kissed because I decided to be friends with all of them instead of date one of them.
“Sure.” I swallow, grabbing his jersey while pushing onto my toes. Right before my lips touch him, someone bumps into us. Dan’s arms lock around me, securing me to him, but the moment is broken.
“Party at my house,” Haden announces as I turn to see which idiot didn’t have eyes. There’s something dark in his gaze, like anger churning, and he watches me instead of Dan.
“We’re coming,” Dan assures him and I focus back on the guy who’s holding me in his arms. “Now, where were we?” he asks and I swallow another time. I can almost feel Lowell’s stare burn into my back.
“Craig, get into the changing rooms and out of that uniform,” Coach calls and I want to rush over and hug the guy. Stepping back, which is a little hard because Dan’s holding on tightly, I give him a beaming smile.
“I’ll meet you at Lowell’s house. I’m here with my own car and don’t want to leave it.”
Before he can tell me he came with someone else and needs a ride, I spin around, telling myself I’ll have to be honest, and I’ll do it tonight.
Tonight I’ll break up with him, or quit dating him, or whatever you want to call it.
I consider doing my hair differently when outside, Lowell honks the horn. I stare at my reflection in the mirror as if she’d have a better idea why he is here.
I wear a tank and some jeans, my usual attire, but I feel weirdly naked as I walk outside and lean into the open passenger side window of his truck. “What are you doing here?” I ask in disbelief.
“There’s a party and I always pick you up,” he shrugs and I arch a brow.
“There’s a party at your house. I could’ve come over.”
“I always pick you up,” he r
epeats stubbornly, a crinkle forming in his brow while he worries his piercing with his teeth. It’s distracting and annoying.
“Stop,” I fuss and he instantly does, giving me a sheepish grin.
“Come on, pull on a sweater and let’s go,” Lowell orders and I lean back, not sure what to think.
“You will not be able to drive me back, and we both know it,” I point out, weirdly touched by the fact he decided to pick me up like it’s tradition. Then, as usual, I’ll drive his truck back because he won’t be able to and in the morning, he’ll call me up, telling me to bring his truck and plan for a day out.
Same old, same old.
I smirk.
“Never bothered you before.” Insecurity creeps into his voice and I roll my eyes.
“Come on, no need to wait out here. I haven’t even put perfume on.” I wink at him and he’s out of the truck within seconds, walking up the way to the house behind me. “Why in the world is the party at your house today?”
We always avoid having parties at our places. I mean, with my parents that wouldn’t be possible anyway, but at Lowell’s place? Nope, we don’t do that because we hate cleaning up, and no matter how many people promise to drop by, no one ever does.
I glance at him over my shoulder as he stays silent and find him watching my ass.
“Haden,” I say sharply and he winces, a guilty blush creeping up his cheeks until I’m sure his head must explode. I laugh and so does he, relief crossing his features. “So, party?” I prompt as he drops himself onto my bed, watching me. It’s not the first time he’s ever done that, but it’s different this time. He’s different these last few days and I have no idea what’s up with that. Then I remember Mandy, and the anger I felt earlier returns.
“Hope to get Mandy in your bed? I mean, easiest when you’re already at your place,” I tag on and sit down on my chair to be able to see him.
“Mandy?” he asks and his confused expression nearly makes my anger boil over. He had to know I’d be looking for him after the game, had to know I’d see him kissing that girl.
“Don’t play dumb. I know you finally got to kiss her. I just figured since you managed the first step, you were hoping to just jump ahead and finish it all at once.” I wink, making light of something that has me in knots.
Not Haden Lowell, Scott’s voice echoes in my head and I decide he’s right. If I’d start fantasizing about Lowell, our friendship soon could go down the drain, and I’d miss it too much to be ready to risk it for something I don’t even know I really feel.
“Oh, that. You should’ve watched to the end. I doubt Mandy will show tonight. I’m not running after a girl for weeks only to have her suddenly decide now she wants to force her attention on me.” Though he’s talking to me, making perfect sense—as in not speaking in foreign tongues—he seems to be a million miles away, his gaze focused on something next to him, his eyes transfixed.
“Well, I’d say your attempts finally paid off, so why the change of heart?”
He shrugs and sits, a blush coloring his cheeks yet again, and I glance to my side, finding a red bra hanging over the side of the desk. Hell, how in the world did that get stuck there?
My mind readily supplies the way I’d thrown it behind me earlier while looking for something different. Snatching it up, I find Lowell watching me again, and heat crawls up my face.
“Rose’s,” I say even though it’s not true and we both know it. Thankfully he doesn’t say anything.
“She’s shallow,” he states and I open my mouth to defend my sister when I remember we were talking about Mandy.
“You don’t say,” I snort. I’ve been repeating this same sentence for months.
“Are you getting ready or trying to avoid the party?” He grins, pointing at the way I swivel in my chair. Sighing, I push to my feet and pull on a long-sleeved shirt with holes for my thumbs. It’s turquoise, and absolutely not what I usually wear. Hell, I cannot even say where this is coming from, but it’s the only one of that style still clean, and so I’m okayish with it. Comfort clothes, my mom calls them. I pull on a pair of sneakers, grab a baseball cap, and one of Scott’s scarves. It still smells of him and I close my eyes briefly, only to find myself in Lowell’s arms the next second.
“He’s always with you, girl, you know that, right?” His voice is soft, kind, and I can’t deal well with the sweetness he displays lately. It’s such a stark contrast to what I’m used to, I feel like I should start calling this side of him Haden, and my best friend Lowell.
Like two different people.
Like I’m suddenly no longer one of the guys, at least not when Haden’s there.
“What?” he asks, pulling back, and I step out of his arms.
“Nothing.” I’m irritated again and figure we should leave. At the party girls will flock to him and he’ll be back to being the hot starting quarterback. “Ready?” I grab my cell and my license since that’s all I really need, and then arch a brow at him, hoping to hurry him along.
He just nods, passing me wordlessly and I close the door behind me, hoping this, us, will return to normal soon.
Haden
Haden
Camou vanishes the moment we get to my house. People are already loitering around, and although nothing is prepared—how could it be when I decided spontaneously to throw a party?—a keg is in the garden and some music blasting from a stereo at the back porch. If we can do one thing here in Epsilon, it’s throwing parties.
Which reminds me of Camou asking me why I even decided to have it at my place. I already dread the cleaning up, but I needed a reason why I’d run into Dan and keep him from kissing my best friend. She’s too polite to tell him to leave her alone after he’d just turned into the hero of the group, and it’s my duty to help her out.
It’s why I picked her up, too. I figured before he drops by and she has no chance to get away, she should know that my truck is hers. As it always is after a party.
I grin to myself because I tend to pick her up and she has to drive us home. But not tonight. It’s a lucky coincidence that my parents decided to do some date-night out of town, full with a hotel stay and awesome breakfast the next morning, but that doesn’t mean I get out of having the house clean ASAP after sunrise. And the way I know my friends, none of them will be here by that time.
Okay, that’s a lie. Camou totally will be, but that only means I definitely have to be up as well.
“Lowell, take a beer,” Laker calls and I take it with no intention of drinking it.
“Hey, where did Camou go?” I ask him and he rolls his eyes as if I said something wrong.
“Dan, dude. Where else would she go?”
I bite my tongue to swallow a retort, then make my way over to the inside of the house, finding the living room full of people.
Small town and open-door policy. My little brother, Rafael, must be here somewhere.
“Rafe?” I call and see a hand lift out of the mass of people. I push through the crowd and shake my head. Sometimes I’m surprised how many people really go to our high school.
I find Rafe on the sectional, talking to Camou, and I breathe a sigh if relief, dropping down next to her.
“I have all kinds of possibilities, and I want to explore as many of them as I can,” she’s saying and Rafe nods slowly. He’s a year younger than Camou, but I guess it’s cool at his age to like ‘older’ girls. There’s only nine months between them, yet sometimes Camou seems to be ancient compared to him.
“I believe that,” he gives back, taking a deep breath as if inhaling her info.
“Laker said Dan found you,” I interrupt, no clue what they are talking about, and Camou turns to me, her eyes almost in shadows because the sun has gone down and the light in the living room causes her cap to hide half her face.
“Yeah, I told him I needed her help with something,” Rafe shrugs and Camou ruffles his hair like he’s five.
“Totally saved me, this one did,” she laughs and I nod.
“Don’t you wanna tell him?” I ask and she lowers her eyes, shrugging.
“I like the idea of being kissed and fondling about. I don’t wanna go to… college and have never experienced it.” I notice her hesitation and wonder what’s up with that when Dan leans over the back of the sofa and kisses the crown of her hair.
She stiffens and then ducks out from under him. “Come dance with me,” he demands and I smother a chuckle.
Camou and dancing? Never ev—
“Sure,” Camou surprises me by saying and I sputter.
“What? You?”
She glares at me over her shoulder while Rafe chuckles. “Hade, everyone can do the one-two-step sway,” he points out and I nod, swallowing everything I want to say. My little brother watches me,squinting.
“Wait, dude, are you crushing on your best friend? I mean… did you finally realize Camou’s smokin’ hot?” he asks and I grit my teeth. It’s weird hearing ‘Camou’ and ‘smokin’ hot’ in the same sentence, and my stomach jolts.
“What? No. But you know Camou.” And he does, or better, he should. She’s over here so often, I’d be surprised if he wouldn’t know her nearly as well as I do.
“Yeah, but for me she always had breasts. You didn’t even know she was a girl,” he accuses and I gape at him. When the hell had my brother turned into a bad self-help-column?
“She’s my best friend, and nothing’s changed about that. I just know she doesn’t like Dan that much, you know? She just needs someone to kiss her.” I roll my eyes as if to say ‘girls’, but Rafe is not looking at me, but watching Camou instead.
“I’d probably kiss her if that’s all she wants. I mean, if I was her best friend. Would you want to have her first kiss be by someone you don’t know can really kiss? What if she’s forever scarred by it? After all, girls practice together too, if they are best friends, don’t they?”
I stare at him still and he’s not even looking in my direction.
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