Fighting the Undertow

by Eden Rivers

  “Thanks, that means a lot.”

  “I’m going to let you be now, but I want you to do two things for me first.”

  “What?”

  “One, meet me on the beach for a walk tomorrow evening. Two, tell me what started all this. Not everything that had been building up ‑‑ I know how impossible it can be to cope with the chaos that Ian calls a life. I mean, the last straw.”

  “That would be Lisa.”

  When Abby slammed her hand down on the table, Val jerked back in her chair so abruptly she almost tipped over. She’d never seen Abby this angry before. Suddenly, it wasn’t so hard to imagine her wearing leather or holding a whip.

  “Tell me how she got mixed up in this, because if that woman did anything to mess up the best chance Ian’s had in a hell of a long time at anything resembling happiness, I’m going to track her down and make her wish she’d never crossed your path.”

  “You’re scaring me. This is getting a bit intense.”

  “Just tell me.”

  “I drove into Boston the day after the break-in.”

  “I know. Jeremy called to see if you’d gotten in safely, but then Nathan got the message from his assistant that you’d decided to stay in Gulls’ Harbor. So what happened in between, and what the hell does it have to do with Lisa?”

  Val took a shuddering breath. She didn’t have the energy to argue with anyone, especially not Abby. “Ian had given me a key. Since I knew the three of you wouldn’t be home until dinnertime, I went to his place ‑‑ and found Lisa staying there. The part that stung was that Ian ‑‑ even with his thing for honesty ‑‑ didn’t trust me not to freak out if he explained he’d told his ex she could stay at his apartment for a few days.”

  Abby stalked across the room and slammed her hand against the wall. When she turned back around, tears streaked her face, and without thinking twice, Val got up, walked over to her, and wrapped her arms around her.

  “Lisa didn’t just screw Ian over ‑‑ she hurt all of us. We all loved her, Val.”

  Her stomach clenched, and the muscles across her shoulders twisted into knots. Just like you were all starting to love me, and I let you down too. She kept rubbing Abby’s back in soft, even circles.

  “Look, I don’t know what happened, but Ian would never tell Lisa she could stay at his place. Never.” Abby disentangled herself from Val's arms and paced back to the table. She fished her phone out of her purse.

  Without asking, Val knew she planned to call Ian. More than anything, she wanted to hide in the other room, pull the covers over her head, and not hear whatever explanation Ian had for the Lisa incident. Somehow, she suspected she’d gotten it all wrong.

  “Ian, it’s Abby. What would Lisa have been doing in your apartment earlier this week? Well, excuse yourself from the staff meeting and go to your office, then. This is important.”

  Unable to hold still, Val circled the table a few times, and then started reorganizing the dirty dishes in the sink.

  “Okay, I’ll make it fast. Val found Lisa at your place when she drove in from Gulls’ Harbor. They talked. Lisa told Val you said she could stay at the apartment. Val knows you were staying with us, but she was hurt at the thought that Lisa would be there without you having told her.”

  With sickening clarity, Val knew Lisa must have lied. How could she have ever believed her? Ian wouldn’t have told his ex it was fine to stay at his place without telling her about it, especially when he’d given Val a key and begged her to spend time in Boston with him.

  Oh, God. It’s not that he didn’t trust me not to overreact if he told me his ex was using his empty apartment. It’s that I didn’t trust him.

  “Okay, I’ll tell her. Look, let Tyler drive when you head out here tonight. I don’t want you behind the wheel when you’re this upset.” After a brief pause, Abby said good-bye and disconnected.

  “Don’t tell me. I already know. I can’t believe I didn’t see it from the start. Lisa lied. And I didn’t trust that of course Ian would tell me if he’d told his ex she could use the apartment. I’m the one who ruined things.”

  “Lisa called and asked Ian if she could pick up the things she had stored at the apartment. That conversation took place while you were driving into Boston. He thought she wouldn’t get around to it for a while, and it didn’t matter anyway, since he’d settled in with me and Tyler.”

  “I can’t believe I let her use me to hurt him all over again.”

  “There’s not much more Lisa could do to hurt Ian. She got a couple years of his life, a good piece of his heart, and he handed her one-and-a-half million in the divorce settlement to avoid dragging the whole mess into court. Lisa’s history. For you, she just presented the final straw. If you and Ian weren’t dealing with so much to begin with, this wouldn’t have happened.”

  True enough. Hell, one-and-a-half million from a guy she’d ditched, and Lisa still couldn’t resist the urge to make trouble for Ian?

  “Was he angry? I mean, about Lisa?”

  “Apoplectic might be a better word. That’s why I told him to let Tyler drive tonight. Although Kevin’s been shadowing him since he got your message, and I doubt the ghost would let him get into the driver’s seat when he’s upset.”

  Val shook her head. “That’s how I knew it was really over. I haven’t seen Kevin all week.”

  “First of all, you haven’t seen Kev because he’s been babysitting his rather volatile brother, most likely to make sure Ian doesn’t do anything stupid.”

  Val shivered at the thought.

  “Secondly, if Kevin doesn’t consider you a long-term investment of his time, explain why he’s been shadowing you from the moment you stepped foot in the beach house?”

  “I don’t have a clue.” Val shrugged. “Ghosts, go figure.”

  When the phone rang, Abby grabbed her purse and started for the door. “It’s not Ian. He’s back in the staff meeting. So you may as well pick up. Tomorrow evening at seven, by the snack stand. I’ll be waiting.”

  Before Val could argue, the machine picked up, and she recognized Julie Ellen’s voice. Accepting Abby’s invitation for a walk on the beach by default, she dived to get the phone before Tyler’s mom could hang up. Julie Ellen radiated calm like the ocean at low tide, and Val could use a little peace in her life right now.

  “Hey, it’s me. Sorry. Abby just left, so I didn’t get to the phone before the machine picked up.”

  “I’m glad I caught you in. I know this is spur of the moment, but could you meet me at the Circle Gardens downtown in about twenty minutes?”

  Okay, so Julie Ellen probably heard about the mess with her and Ian from Abby or Tyler, and wanted to help patch things up. But she’d gladly put up with unsolicited advice in order to enjoy the benefits of Julie Ellen’s calming influence.

  “Sure.”

  “Wear something nice, but not too dressy. A skirt and blouse should do fine. Oh, and bring a copy of your résumé. I’m on my way out the door, so I’ll see you soon. I’ll look for you by the rose bushes.”

  Well, that was strange. “Okay, see you soon.”

  Val stood staring at the phone for a minute after Julie Ellen disconnected. But seeing as she wouldn’t figure out what Tyler’s mom had planned until she got her ass over to the town gardens, she headed for her room and managed to find a wrinkle-free skirt and a summer blouse.

  On her way out the door, she nearly collided with the Flowers by the Sea delivery guy. Backtracking, she deposited the crystal blue vase full of wildflowers on the table at the bottom of the stairs and grabbed the card to take with her. She expected to see Ian’s familiar scrawl on the envelope, but as she struggled with the key in the lock, she noted that someone had written her name in neat block letters. Curious, she ripped open the envelope on the way to her car.

  Val,

  We miss you. Simple as that. Whatever happens with you and Ian, you’re one of us, so start answering the damn phone. By the time Lisa left, she’d annihilated ou
r trust in a thousand ways. But all you’ve done is run scared. That’s not grounds for shutting you out of our lives. You’ll probably have seen Abby by now, but Jeremy and Nathan want me to tell you they don’t have platonic sleepovers with just anyone, and the beagles promise not to chew on your sandals next time you visit.

  Val brought her hand to her mouth, smothering a hysterical laugh that threatened to erupt into tears.

  Abby and I want you to come in and spend a weekend with us in Boston soon. I’m starting to get offended that you haven’t eaten at Ishmael’s yet. And Jeremy wants to take you sailing. Nathan’s refused to go out on the water with him since the time Jer swamped the boat, but he says since you’re a swimmer, he doesn’t think that bit of history will frighten you off.

  This time, her laughter bubbled up of its own volition.

  Love and hugs,

  Tyler

  Runaway emotions scrambled through her, one on the heel of the other, until they jumbled together in a confusing mess. Overwhelmed probably covered it. As she slid behind the wheel, she wondered if whatever Julie Ellen had in mind would have half the impact of Tyler’s note. If it did, she’d be emotional toast by the end of the day.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Running late after the bit with Tyler’s flowers, she walked briskly through the formal gardens. Julie Ellen waved, and Val hurried to join her. Though Val had thrown on business clothes, Julie Ellen wore shorts and an orange tank top, and her braids were tied back in a casual ponytail with a matching scarf. A woman wearing blue shorts over a green swimsuit sat with Julie Ellen on the bench under the rose arbor. Val glanced down at her navy skirt and heels, then over at the other women’s flip-flops.

  This day was getting weirder by the minute. “Hi, I’m sorry I’m late.” She hugged Julie Ellen and then settled on the bench across from the two women. “I was intercepted by a delivery boy on the way out the door.”

  “Ah, that would be Tyler’s flowers.”

  Val nodded. If Julie Ellen knew that, chances were she knew the rest too. Yet like her son and his friends, she welcomed Val with as much affection as when she’d been seeing Ian.

  “I’m sorry to ambush you like this, but Magda and I were at the hospital volunteers’ picnic this afternoon, and I think the two of you may be able to help each other out.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Valerie.” She smiled at Val as they shook hands, and laugh lines formed around her eyes. “I’m Magda Dupres.”

  “Magda’s the principal at Blessed Sacrament, the private high school across the square. She’s in the middle of a hiring crisis, trying to line up people for two part-time positions before fall. I told her you have a psych background and that you have lifeguard experience and were quite a star on the swim team in college.”

  Val blushed. Those details must have made their way to Julie Ellen by way of Ian. Still, this conversation made less sense than ever.

  “What Julie Ellen didn’t know is if you’ve had coaching experience.”

  “Sure, I volunteered at the Y all through grad school. The team did pretty well in the all-city meets.”

  “Blessed Sacrament doesn’t have a stellar record in the district swim meets.” Magda sighed. “But the kids are going to be crushed if I can’t come up with a coach by September. I wanted to meet you and see if you’re interested before setting up an interview. The other position is in our guidance department. We lost a part-time counselor in May.”

  “Yes, definitely. Very interested.” Hell, this could be the answer to her job problems. “My research in grad school involved teens, and I’d love to work with that age group again.”

  “I’d like to meet with you at the school, then. You’d have a chance to meet Lizzie, the other guidance counselor, as well as Sister Catherine, the vice principal who doubles as head of the athletic department.”

  “Thanks. I can’t wait to meet them.” Hardly daring to hope, Val managed her best interview smile and handed Magda the résumé she’d tucked in her purse.

  “I’ll have my secretary call to set up the meeting.” Magda grasped Val’s hand as she rose to leave. “It’s been delightful meeting you.”

  Disoriented by the unexpected turn of events, Val managed to stammer her thanks. As she watched Magda make her way through the paths bordered by yellow roses, she tried to absorb the fact that the solution to her job woes may have landed in her lap. That the rest of her life might sort itself out, without Ian, made her want to curl up into a little ball and sob.

  “I think you’ve found your next career move.” Julie Ellen moved over to sit beside her. “Now tell me ‑‑ how are you holding up?”

  Val shook her head, not bothering to push away the cluster of curls that fell in front of her eyes.

  “Here’s a bit of wisdom for you. Sometimes things work out even when the odds are against you. I was eighteen when Draven and I got married, and pregnant with Tyler. Not the most auspicious beginning. His family had more money than I considered decent, and they reacted as if he’d impregnated a middle-class Southern girl just to spite them.”

  “Ouch.”

  “As I said, not the best beginning. By twenty-one, I’d had Keisha, and when I was twenty-three, we lost her.”

  Val squeezed Julie Ellen’s hand.

  “After that, Draven and I weathered some hellish years, including two affairs, one for each of us.”

  Startled, Val turned to face Julie Ellen.

  “Oh, don’t worry. Tyler knows the story. My point is that some things last when you’d least expect. I’m not saying I think things will sort themselves out for you and Ian. That one’s too close to call. I’m just asking you to keep an open mind.”

  * * * * *

  Saturday evening, Val found herself standing by the snack stand waiting for Abby ‑‑ against her better judgment. Jittery and half-afraid Abby would show up with Ian in tow, she paced across the hot sand. When she spotted Abby running toward her, her teal swimsuit a flash of color against the golden sand, relief flooded through her as she verified that Ian hadn’t come along.

  “Sorry I’m late. Let’s walk down by the water. Never mind the sun’s about to set, the sand’s burning the soles off my feet.”

  As Val related the story of her meeting with Julie Ellen yesterday afternoon and how touched she’d been by Tyler’s note, she started to relax. Abby was easy to talk to ‑‑ a good friend ‑‑ and Val appreciated the fact that she seemed determined to stay in touch.

  Down by the water, she dug her toes into the damp sand as they walked. Abby had thought to bring mosquito spray, but a determined greenhead fly tried to sample Val’s ankle, and she stooped to swat it. When she stood up, she froze in her tracks. She’d know that tousled head of blond hair anywhere.

  Val swallowed hard as the sun sank toward the waves, highlighting every inch of his golden body. Ian waded thigh-deep in the water, heading toward shore, though he hadn’t spotted them yet. She turned to make a hasty retreat, but Abby grabbed her wrist and held on with a death grip.

  “No way, let go. I’m not ready for this.” She took a few steps, dragging the smaller woman with her.

  “You’ve got to talk to him sometime. It might as well be now.” Abby grabbed her other arm and leaned back, digging her feet in the sand to brace herself against Val’s attempted escape.

  Ian scowled when he spotted her. “Nice try, Abby. But Val doesn’t seem to want to talk, and I’m heading back to the beach house.”

  “Damn it, stop! Both of you!”

  Ian and Val froze, and several picnickers who’d remained after the daytime crowds dispersed turned to look in their direction.

  “Walk with me, or I’m going to make a scene.” Abby hissed the words through gritted teeth.

  Careful to keep Abby between herself and Ian, Val stalked toward the rocky end of the beach. She knew Abby meant well, but she felt like someone had ripped her heart out and held it underwater. When she stole a sideways glance in Ian’s direction, he didn’t lo
ok much happier.

  “Okay, no one’s going to wander this far down the beach at dusk. Talk.” Abby sat on a large rock and waited.

  Ian stood shifting his weight from foot to foot. He’d wrapped his beach towel around his waist, and his hair curled at the ends as it dried. She wanted to reach out and touch him. Hell, she wanted to throw herself into his arms. But he didn’t belong to her anymore.

  And he didn’t seem inclined to talk. Hell, being close to Ian hurt like hell and fury. But when she turned to retreat down the beach, she walked into an invisible wall.

  “Damn it, Kevin. This won’t work.” She tried to step around him, but the invisible barrier moved with her.

  Ian’s laughter stopped her in her tracks. “What!” Hands on her hips, she whirled to confront him.

  “You know what you look like, yelling at thin air?”

  “Well, he’s your ghost. Do something about it!” Fury gripped her, and all of a sudden, she wanted to slap her hand against Ian’s bare chest ‑‑ hard.

  “I’m not inclined to intervene.” He took a step toward her, and something about his eyes caused her to take a hurried step backward ‑‑ which brought her up against the ghost.

  “Tell me. Just goddamned tell me why you ran?” Ian closed the distance between them and grabbed her arm. “I know it wasn’t just about Lisa.”

  Oh, God. She wanted to hold him. Or hit him. Either would do. “I’ll answer that, if you’ll explain why you never told your parents you weren’t driving the day Kevin died.”

  “You really want to hear this?” He dropped her wrist and took a step back. “Because it’s not pretty. Hell, is that why you left? You couldn’t cope with the fact that there are things in my life beyond your powers to fix?”

  “Or maybe I couldn’t stand that you, and everyone else, shut me out every time the topic of Kevin or your family came up!” Oh, hell, the ring of truth in that accusation brought her up short. She couldn’t tolerate feeling like an outsider. Couldn’t stand for him to hold her at arm’s length, when she loved him so goddamned much.