Guardian's Grace

by Jacqueline Rhoades

  Otto stood down. His face softened and his fangs receded. Whatever had happened had shaken Canaan in a way he’d never seen before. If it wasn’t for the pitiful sobbing coming from Grace’s room, he’d find it amusing. He went to the refrigerator and helped himself to his morning dose. He kept his back turned.

  “You need to go upstairs and find out what’s going on.”

  “I’m not going up there. You do it. She‘ll talk to you. I think I’m the last person she wants to see right now.”

  Otto grinned in spite of himself. “Not my job, my lord. It’s your House, your duty.”

  Dov and Col entered and looked around, bewildered.

  “Where’s Grace?” Col asked.

  “Shit,” Canaan snarled.

  “What happened?” asked Dov looking from Canaan to Otto and back again to Canaan. “What’d you say to her?”

  “Shouldn’t someone go see if she’s okay?” Col asked at the same time. He, too, looked at Canaan.

  “All right, goddammit, I’m going,” Canaan bellowed and he stormed from the kitchen.

  When Uncle Otto chuckled, the twins relaxed.

  “I guess we’re on our own for breakfast,” said Col.

  “All righty then,” said Dov, rubbing his hands together. “Anyone for toaster tarts?”

  Chapter 14

  Grace stuffed more clothes into one of the suitcases the twins had brought from her apartment. Did she still have an apartment? She hadn’t paid the rent. She didn’t know if the twins had paid it. She hadn’t thought about it since deciding to live here. It didn’t matter. If the apartment was no longer hers, she’d sleep on a park bench. She couldn’t stay here. Not after what she’d done to Canaan. To herself. How humiliating. It was that damn dream. She awoke from it like she had all the answers. It was like moving in some kind of trance. Someone knocked at the door.

  “Go away.” She couldn’t face any of them. Not right now. Not ever.

  “Grace?” It was Canaan. “Can we talk?”

  “No. You don’t have to say anything. Just give me half an hour and I’ll be gone.”

  “Grace? Open the door.” It was a command.

  “No. Go away.”

  “Dammit, Grace, I’m coming in.”

  “You can’t. It’s locked.”

  “Not a problem.” The lock clicked. Canaan stood in the open doorway.

  Grace threw up her hands. “What’s the point of having locks in this house when none of you need keys?”

  She was wearing a pair of cutoff jeans and a sweatshirt, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She was just as appealing as she’d been in the kitchen. Damn. He needed to get himself under control.

  “I’m the only one who doesn’t need a key.” He took in the suitcase and the pile of clothes on the bed. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “My apartment.” She turned and started folding more clothes. There wasn’t any more room in the suitcase and she grabbed another from the floor.

  “Not there anymore. The boys let it lapse. They probably thought I wouldn’t throw you out if you didn’t have a place to go.” He took a step into the room. “You don’t have to leave, Grace.” What was he saying? A couple of hours ago his plan was to tell her she had to go. Now that she was willing, he didn’t want her to. She looked at him with those sad, gray eyes and his heart broke.

  “I couldn’t face them,” she said miserably. “God, what must they think of me? What must you think of me? I’m so ashamed.”

  Her shoulders slumped as she hung her head down in humiliation. She covered her face with her hands and began to weep. She looked beaten, lost, and alone. He closed the door and with two more steps into the room, he had her in his arms. She turned her head and made a halfhearted attempt to pull away, but he held her close, stroking her hair and back and murmuring sounds of comfort.

  “Ah, sweetling,” he said quietly, his voice a deep rumble in his chest. “No harm done. No one knows but you and me and I’m not telling.”

  She began to weep in earnest then, her hot tears burning their way to his heart. He lifted her up and carried her to the chair where he sat, holding her in his lap, stroking and shushing and rocking her as if she were a child.

  “I thought you’d make a joke of it to the others,” she whispered. “Grace acting like a half naked fool.”

  “Not the Grace that I’m used to perhaps, but not a fool.” He chuckled and he felt Grace stiffen in his arms. “Shh. I’m not laughing at you. I’m flattered. And the truth is you were pretty damn sexy.” Grace’s eyes widened and she looked down when his cock began to harden at the thought. He chuckled again. “I told you so. It was just so out of character, Grace. You scared the hell out of me.”

  She sniffed and wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her sweatshirt. “I scared the hell out of me, too.”

  “You want to tell me what brought all this on?”

  She buried her face in his chest, her hand pressing against the lilies and skull. “No. It’s too embarrassing.”

  “I think we’re a little beyond the embarrassment stage. Don’t you?” He lifted her face and kissed her forehead, softly, gently, like the whisper of butterfly wings. “Tell me.”

  “I dreamed of you. Long before Dov and Col brought me here, I dreamed of you. I didn’t know it was you. It was just images at first, nothing I could recognize until this.” Her fingers traced the lilies on his chest. “After I came here, the dreams became clearer and I could see the skull and the tears and the words.” She traced each part as she spoke. “I saw your armband and I saw your eyes.” She looked up into the reality of her dream. “When you came home and frightened me out of my sleep, I knew the moment I saw you, you were the man in my dream.” She felt his body tense then relax.

  “And you told no one? Not even Otto?” he asked quietly.

  She shook her head. “No. Why would I? It was only a dream. Until today. I was restless and I couldn’t sleep and finally, I forced myself to relax and just let my mind drift and the dream came, just like that.” She snapped her fingers. “I wasn’t asleep, but it came just the same. Only this time everything was so clear. We were in the kitchen and you were doing…” She swallowed hard and said in a rush, “All the things that drive me crazy.”

  “You find me annoying?” He was surprised that it hurt. Most women found him amusing, entertaining, and sexy.

  She felt the blush begin in her cheeks and make its way down her body. “Not annoying crazy. The other kind. You know.” She squirmed with embarrassment.

  “Ah,” he said and grinned. “The sexy kind of crazy. That’s more like it. You had me worried for a minute there. I thought I’d lost my touch.”

  Grace heaved an exasperated sigh. “Do you want to hear the end of this?”

  “Oh sure. You can make me a list of those sexy little things that drive you crazy later or if you’d like to do it now…”

  She laughed a little, as he hoped she would and he felt her body relax against his. He liked the way she felt; curled and cozy in his lap.

  “That’s better,” he said. “Now take a deep breath and finish it.”

  “I want to say ‘when I woke up’ but I was never asleep. I got out of bed and knew exactly what I was going to do. You had cruelly tempted and teased me and I was going to get you back for it. I know that’s not true. All right, you did tempt and tease me a little, but I know you didn’t mean to be cruel, only that’s not how I saw it. And I did all those things in the kitchen and then when I was standing next to you it was as if I finally did wake up and I saw what I’d done and I ran. Oh, Canaan, I’m so sorry.”

  And that was almost the truth. She hadn’t meant to ‘get him back for it’. The plan had been to make him follow through on it. She had wanted him to make love to her in a way that she had never wanted anything before. She had been hot and aching and ready and now she was mortified.

  “Hey, I told you, no harm done.” They sat together in comfortable silence for several minutes before he stood and
set her on her feet. “Go wash your face and comb your hair then come downstairs and get something to eat.”

  “What am I going to tell the others?”

  “Not one damn thing. It’s none of their business. You don’t have a contract that says you have to make breakfast for them. They’ll appreciate you more now that they’ve had to do without.”

  “Will you wait and go down with me?”

  He pulled her to him and kissed her soundly on the mouth, then spun her around and gave her a playful smack on the bottom. “A man could starve answering all these questions. Go. I’ll wait right here.”

  *****

  “Canaan’s been up there an awful long time.” Col looked up at the ceiling. “What do you think is going on?”

  “Damn and they call me the dumb one.” Dov wiggled his eyebrows like Groucho Marx. “What do you think they’re doing up there, Col? Playing checkers?”

  “Dov, I’m being serious, Canaan looked pretty mad when he went up there.”

  “And twenty bucks says he’s smiling when he comes down.”

  “Not everything is about sex, asshole.”

  “That’s probably true in your world, pencil dick, but not in mine.”

  Otto interrupted the argument. “Instead of speculating about things that are none of your business, I suggest you both load up and go make the rounds.”

  “Come on, Uncle Otto. It’s not our night. Canaan made the schedule.”

  “And I changed it. Canaan’s staying in and you’re going out. Good hunting, gentlemen.”

  Otto laughed at the twin’s grumbling as they loaded their weapons for the night’s patrol. Then he looked up at the ceiling just as the twins had. Canaan and Grace had been up there for quite a while.

  Chapter 15

  The twins were gone when they came downstairs and Uncle Otto was watching television. Canaan gave her shoulder a squeeze to assure her once again that everything would be fine, made himself a quick ham and cheese and disappeared into the gym saying he could use a good workout. Grace wanted to go with him but didn’t want to appear clingy. Upstairs, alone with him, curled in his lap, she had felt safe and protected and loved. It was something she had never felt before and she wanted it to go on forever. As she emptied the used coffee grounds and rinsed the pot, she wondered again at the way she had thrown herself at Canaan this morning. How could something so awful turn out so right? Canaan cared for her. He thought she was sexy. He was going to let her stay. He had kissed her. Okay, so it wasn’t a long, passionate, tongue playing with tonsils kiss, but it was sincere, and comfortable, as if something had been settled between them. She wasn’t sure what that something was, but she knew it was a positive thing. And she wanted it to happen again. She stopped and considered the silly smile spreading across her face, the sudden urge to sing and dance. “Oh my god, I’m in love,” she whispered to Buffy who was sprawled at her feet. The cat rolled to her back and wriggled with pleasure.

  Grace felt too good to feel guilty when she saw the empty boxes of toaster tarts and she reminded herself that before her arrival they’d lived on the stuff and it didn’t seem to do them any harm. She tidied the rest of the kitchen and moved on with the rest of her chores.

  *****

  Canaan wiped the sweat from his face and chest as he took a seat across from Otto. When Canaan didn’t speak, the older man picked up the remote, turned the television off and raised an eyebrow in question.

  “What are we going to do with her, Otto?”

  “I don’t think it’s a question of ‘we’. ‘We’ want her to stay. ‘We’ don’t have a problem with a good looking woman in the House or any woman for that matter. ‘We’ like eating good food and wearing clean underwear. So let’s be honest here, son. What are ‘you’ going to do with her?”

  “I know what I want to do with her.”

  “You mean you didn’t?” Otto grinned and winked.

  “No, I didn’t, you old goat. You’re getting as bad as Dov.”

  Otto ignored the remark. “So why didn’t you? I’ve never known you to be shy with the ladies and the way she looks at you, I don’t see her saying no.”

  “She’s a human, dammit, and if she’s going to continue to stay here… “ Exasperated, Canaan leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “Look, what happened this waking really upset her. She was afraid and embarrassed and vulnerable. She needed comfort.”

  Otto nodded as if he understood. His half smile bordered on a smirk. “I see.”

  Canaan shook his head in denial. “No, you don’t. I care about her. That’s all. And I’m worried about her.”

  “Want to tell me about it?”

  “Not the details. I promised her I wouldn’t.” He sucked on his teeth and looked away from Otto. “I think she’s having visions.”

  “I’m not surprised. It fits in with everything else.”

  “What do you mean ‘everything else’ and why haven’t you brought any of this to me?” He was losing control of his own House; Dov and Col bringing home strangers without so much as a by-the-way; Otto keeping things from him. And a woman in the kitchen who was driving him crazy.

  “I wanted to be sure. If my suspicions are correct, you’re not going to like it.” Otto leaned back into the couch and crossed his arms over his chest. His face was grim. “I don’t think she’s human.”

  “Of course she’s human. What else could she be?”

  Otto raised one eyebrow and gave Canaan a don’t-be-stupid look. “You’re the one who said she’s having visions.”

  “I said I think she’s having visions and even if she is, there are humans who can do that you know.”

  “Yes,” Otto said slowly, “and where does that ability come from?”

  “I know damn well where it comes from, but they’re still human or ninety-nine percent human. They live and grow old and they die like humans. So don’t even go there.”

  “Dov couldn’t erase her memory. How many times did you try?” Otto was determined to make his point.

  Canaan didn’t like where this was heading. He was surprised at how much he resented Grace’s sharing anything with Otto. He’d come to think of his waking time with Grace as private, intimate even. What else had she told him? He scowled.

  “Twice, but you already know that.”

  “And she can push people with her mind. She doesn’t believe it, but she’s done it. She’s done it to Dov and she did it to me when I was in a blood rage from the thirst. And then there’s the demons. I’ve only met one other who could see them.”

  Canaan started to say something then snapped his jaws shut. He rubbed at his temple until he could rephrase his comment.

  “No one said anything to me about seeing demons. She saw the attack. She knew it was a demon because Dov and Col can’t keep their fucking mouths shut.”

  “Wrong. You must have misunderstood. She saw the demon before she met the twins. She followed it outside.”

  “Holy shit.” Canaan felt a momentary panic when he thought about what would have happened if Dov and Col hadn’t been there. He took a deep breath and hissed it out between his teeth. “Okay, maybe you’re right. I was so focused on them bringing her home…” and so focused on her lips and her face when she spoke… “that I wasn’t listening. Is there anything else?”

  “Yeah, the buzzing in her head. That’s what she calls it. She’s getting emotional vibes off humans to the point where she thinks she’ll go insane. She can’t control it. She doesn’t get them from us and that ought to tell you something and I don’t think she gets them from humans as long as she’s with one of us.” Otto spread his hands and moved them in a way that included him and Canaan along with the house. “That’s a big part of why she accepted all of this so easily.”

  “She needs to see someone, Canaan. She needs to find out what she is, what she can do and how to control it all. She needs to see Manon.”

  Canaan’s eyes widened and his face became hard. “No.”

  “I’m no
t asking you to do it. I will. It’s time. I need to see her and I’ll take Grace with me.”

  “You can’t, Otto. I won’t let you take that kind of chance.”

  “Bah! What chance? I haven’t felt the thirst since Grace came up with the idea of maintenance doses. I’m safe and you know it. None of you would leave me alone with Grace if you didn’t. So don’t give me that crap.” He raised his index finger in forewarning. “And don’t you dare go any further. Manon and I are not children and we sure as hell don’t need any advice from you. We’ll work it out. The subject here is Grace.”

  Canaan spoke through gritted teeth. “Grace stays here. You said it yourself. She feels none of the pain when she’s with us.”

  “Then take her. Mate her or at least make her your mistress. Give her some status among the members.”

  “No. I’ve bent far enough in letting her stay here as housekeeper. I can’t bend any farther. I won’t use her as a mistress and what would be the point of mating her. She couldn’t stay here. You know my position on this. I won’t mate and I won’t be bound.” He rose and began to pace. “I wouldn’t do that to a woman of the Race and I sure as hell won’t do it to one from outside. That’s no kind of life for any woman.”

  “Maybe the choice should be up to the woman.”

  “I’ve seen the kind of pain that kind of choice can cause and I want no part of it. My mother made that kind of choice when she and my father were mated and bound and I watched her suffer for it. When my father made his occasional visits home, there was always laughter and celebration and when my father left, the house became a place of mourning. My mother walked the floor day after day like a ghost. I would hear her crying in her room. My father was her world. She had no life but him.