by Hughes, Maya
* * *
Turned out taking one of only four trains running on the holiday wasn’t the best idea. The only reason I’d gotten a seat was because I embarked in Philly, which was the first stop.
Red, white, and blue covered every surface and person. I hadn’t gotten the memo. My jeans and gray sweatshirt were the comfort I needed. Determined not to fall apart, I stepped off the train and made my way out of the station, one in a sea of hundreds.
Mak rolled down the window and waved at me. I stopped dead in my tracks. A horn blared beside me and I rushed out of the middle of the intersection. Parked on the other side of the street, Percy gleamed in the light from the setting sun. I jogged over to the car and climbed in.
“He definitely looks good.” I slammed the door shut and it latched immediately.
“They did some pretty amazing work in such a short amount of time.”
I ran my hands along the smooth dashboard. It was still Percy, but he shined like never before.
I dropped my hands into my lap. Emmett had done this for me, before everything fell apart, back when things were not a dumpster filled with week-old takeout completely engulfed in flames. I sagged against the seat and blew out a shaky breath. Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I ran my hands along the buttery soft upholstery. I could only imagine the giant show he’d have made of it. I was surprised there wasn’t a giant bow on the top.
“Emmett had them do a good job. The humongous bow is in the trunk if you wanted it. I figured it would be hard to drive with it on, so I stashed it there.”
I shook my head. “I’ll find a way to pay him back.” I was through feeling indebted to the Cunnings—all of them.
Mak pulled out into traffic. The smoothness of the ride and the new car smell had me in awe. There were USB plugs where the old cassette player had been, and both headlights worked in perfect alignment.
We pulled up in front of the beach house and I was excited to drive him home. I thought maybe visiting Alyson wasn’t such a bad idea. I could even sleep in this thing—the reupholstered back seat looked comfortable enough now.
Mak hopped out of the car and pocketed the keys.
“What the hell? Give me the keys.”
“One drink—come inside for one drink. Enjoy the fireworks and then you can go home.”
“No, no way am I going in there.”
“Then I’m not giving you your keys back.” She raced for the steps.
I chased after her, our feet thudding against the wooden stairs. I grabbed hold of her belt loop and tugged her back, but she grabbed the screen door.
“Stop it and come inside,” she yelled, trying to dislodge my fingers, which were digging in her pocket for my keys.
“Avery?” Ford poked his head out the partially opened screen door.
I dropped my hold on Mak, ready to run away. My heart pounded against my ribs. Spinning around, I skidded to a stop one step down when Heath and Declan appeared at the bottom of the staircase. My back pressed into the railing. I was trapped. I assessed the ankle snappage possibilities of jumping over the railing at that height. My nails dug into the wood behind me.
The two of them climbed the steps before stopping in front of me. I braced myself.
“We’re glad you made it.” Declan and then Heath hugged me. Tears welled in my eyes. “You want a drink? Let’s get you a drink.”
Corralled by the bodies on the stairs, I walked inside with them.
“Here you go.” Colm handed me a drink in a red plastic cup.
I smiled weakly, not trusting my voice. My throat tightened. Breathing out through my mouth, I tried to calm down. There were no angry glares. No confrontations about how dare I show my face, and there was no Emmett.
The party kicked into high gear. Music blared from the speakers set up inside and outside. A small stage on the beach in front of the house and a fully stocked bar complete with bartender told me Emmett had had a hand in it.
As much as I wanted to bolt, Mak still had my keys, and someone always seemed to be positioned right in front of the door. I escaped to the balcony off the kitchen. Nursing my drink, I stared out at the bay side of the island. People streamed down the streets, walking to their perfect spots for the fireworks.
“I thought that was you I saw out here.” I jumped at the voice behind me. It was familiar, although not the one I wanted to hear.
“Hey, Noah.” I rested my arms against the wooden railing.
“Hey, Avery. You left without saying goodbye. I thought you wouldn’t be back.”
“I wasn’t planning on it. I thought you were leaving too.”
“That was the plan, but my brother came down for a little bit, then he had to go back. He won’t be done recording until the end of the summer now, so he told us to hang out for a while longer. I’m in no rush to join the real world yet, so I’m staying.”
He was ready to put off joining the real world while I was frantically searching for that door at the back of the wardrobe into the carefree place everyone else seemed to have been invited to, a place I’d never seen where real responsibilities and pressure didn’t exist.
“That’s cool. I’m only here for tonight. I had to come back down to get my car.”
“Is that it?’ He pointed down at Percy in the driveway below us.
“That would be him.” The door behind us opened and the music from inside blared.
“It’s a beautiful ride.” His fingers inched closer to mine.
“Thanks. I never knew he could look so amazing.” The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
“Avery—”
“I’m glad you like it.” The deep rumble of the voice I knew almost as well as my own sent a shock straight through my system.
Spinning around, I choked on the air.
“You’re right, he’s never looked better.”
I pressed myself against the railing, my gaze darting between Noah and Emmett. Guilt soured my stomach even though I hadn’t done anything wrong.
“What are you doing here?” My words were a raspy rush.
“Do you mind giving us a minute, Noah?” There wasn’t a hint of anger or accusation in Emmett’s voice.
34
Emmett
Standing at the base of the wooden stairs leading up to the front door, I watched her. The sadness and intensity in her eyes hit me from there. She watched people walking to the boardwalk, and I watched her.
The knife to my chest replayed over and over like a horror movie, the tears in her eyes as she once again begged me to believe her. I squeezed my eyes shut. It had taken longer than I’d expected to get everything finalized. Between Franklin and Randolph donating their time, it was finally done.
I needed to do this for her, needed to do it for me, to show her there were no more strings, no more places to hide.
Opening the front door, Ford clapped me on the back. “She’s out on the balcony. I made sure she didn’t try to sneak out.”
“Thanks.” I grabbed his hand, turning it up and hooking ours together then thumping him on the back. My stomach leapt for my throat, a nervous energy traveling through my body.
I stepped out onto the small balcony. That guy Noah was there, but the angry, clawed monster didn’t appear in my chest this time. I didn’t have to worry about him. I knew that so deep in my bones it might as well have been molecular, and it wasn’t because he didn’t want her. Who wouldn’t have wanted her? It was because I knew her, all of her, now, all the reasons she’d pretended over the years, all the reasons she felt she couldn’t give all of herself to me. Her loyalty came at the expense of everything. She’d never start anything with a guy like Noah after what we’d been through, not surrounded by the Kings.
“Do you mind giving us a minute, Noah?” I didn’t spare him another glance. My gaze was locked to her startled one. The slight edges of fear there tore at my soul. I never wanted even a hint of uncertainty when she was around me.
“I only came to get my car. Mak’s got my keys. I’m le
aving as soon as I can get them.” She crossed her arms over her chest. Protection mode—and why shouldn’t she go there? Had there ever been anyone she thought could protect her? All of her? I’d hoped it was me, but my own bullshit had blinded even me to her pain.
“I know. I asked her to take them.”
Surprise creased her brow. “What? Why?” She set her cup on the railing behind her.
“Because I wanted to make sure you were still here.”
“Why would you do that?” Her shoulders relaxed the tiniest bit.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped in closer, shutting the door behind me. Distant laughter and muted whoops melded with the dull throb of the music inside.
“So I could apologize.”
She dropped her gaze.
“You didn’t tell me about the deal with my parents because you were trying to protect me, weren’t you?”
She ducked her head.
“I was bitching and moaning about their calls and messages, but you knew I was enjoying them.”
“I didn’t want to ruin that for you.” Her words came out small and tight, like she was breathing through a straw. “I knew how much you’d always wanted that. And I was ashamed of the deal I’d struck with them.” She peered up at me. “Lying to you was never anything I wanted to do. It was the last thing I wanted, but I didn’t know how to tell you the truth without ruining the new relationship you were building.” She stared at the center of my chest. “And without telling you about my dad. I’d tried hard to hide that part away from you. When they told me the first time to break up with you, I told them no. Never. But when everything happened with my dad…and they made sure Alyson wouldn’t get taken away...” Her voice cracked and she sniffled.
“I know. I don’t blame you for taking their deal. They can manipulate just about anyone. They only started speaking to me and wanting to spend time together because my dad is running for governor and having an estranged son wouldn’t look good for his campaign.”
Her head snapped up and she looked at me with a burning fire in her eyes. “What?!” Damn, I loved her—ready to go to the mat for me even after I’d kicked her out.
“Yeah, parents of the year.”
“I’m sorry. I wanted it to be real. I hoped they’d changed and it was the real deal for you, and for them.”
“And I’m sorry about your dad.” That fact that he’d ended up back in the hospital and I hadn’t been there for her would haunt me.
Her eyes got wide.
“Mak told me. I can’t imagine what that was like for you, but I’m glad he’s getting the help he needs.”
She dragged her fingers through her hair. “He is.” The deep sadness poured from her.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.” When Mak had filled me in the previous day, I’d had to stop myself from hopping in my car and driving straight to Avery’s place—partially because I didn’t have a car anymore, but also because I didn’t want to show up with half-assed promises. This needed more.
Her head jerked back. Staring at the space between us, she shrugged. “I’m used to dealing with this stuff on my own.”
“But you shouldn’t have to.”
“I’m sorry I lied. You can’t know how sorry I am.”
“Shhh.” I pressed my fingers against her lips, those full, pink lips I’d missed every minute of every day we were apart even when I’d told myself I didn’t. “I can know because I’m just as sorry. Believing what we had was made up was a hell of a lot easier than knowing it was real. I’ve been running away from real feelings for so long, and turning them into a mirage is so much easier than facing the truth.”
“What truth?” Her words were a whisper caught on the wind.
I rubbed my clammy hands against my pant legs.
“I never stopped loving you. Even when I hated you with all of my being, even when I hated myself for it and wished I could carve my heart out of my chest, I still loved you.” Her warm, smooth skin glided under my fingertips. I tilted her head, drawing her mouth closer to mine.
She squeezed her eyes shut, her lashes catching the traces of tears. They glistened in the light. I’d have given anything for her to never spill them again, no tears of sadness.
“We keep hurting each other, keep proving we can’t work.”
“No!” I grabbed her shoulders. “We’re the only thing that does work, the only thing I keep coming back to. You’re the constant in my life, in my heart, my everything. I need you, Avery. I love you. I have never stopped and will never stop loving you as long as I’m still breathing.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. I ran my thumb against her cheek, cupping the side of her face and brushing them away.
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Em—”
“I can’t go back to being the shell I was without you for the past four years and for the past week. I won’t.” My hands shook as I caressed her face.
Her eyes opened, so beautiful and full of love, vulnerable and strong all at once. Her chin quivered.
I dragged my thumb across her lip, the lips I’d dreamed of and that seemed to be the only balm against the crushing loneliness. The memory of their pink softness had protected me from so many nights alone.
“It’s been less than a week, Avery. I can’t do it.”
She shook her head. “Emmett—” Tears brimmed in her eyes as she wrapped her fingers around the lapel of my jacket.
“Less than a week and I’m already seeing you everywhere, longing for you at night. I didn’t want to be that guy anymore, broken and alone, but it’s not just about needing someone. I want you. I want to be the one with you by my side.”
“I want that too.” Her words made me want to climb up and yell it from the rooftop. “I’ve never stopped loving you.” She gazed up into my eyes, all of her love and fear radiating off of her.
“There’s something I need to tell you.” I shoved my hand into my pocket. My fingers wrapped around the box I’d traveled with for so many years, and this was the closest it had felt to right. Tugging it out of my pocket, I ran my fingers over the velvet finish.
Her eyes got wide. She dropped her hands and backed up a step.
“I’m not asking you tonight, but I need you to know I will ask you. Now isn’t the right time. There are too many things we both need to fix, but this ring in here is yours.”
She stood in stunned silence, staring back at me.
“It’s always been yours, and it always will be yours. I’m not going to say the words, but I want you to be my wife, and I’ll do everything I can to make you happy.”
“Yes.” It was a whisper so faint the wind nearly carried it away.
“What?”
“I’ve said no more times than I can count because I was always afraid of what it might mean for you and for me, but I’m not scared anymore. I’ve lived without you for too long. I don’t want to anymore. So, yes. Whenever you ask the question, my answer is yes.”
“You haven’t even seen the ring yet.” I pulled at the top of the box.
Her hand covered mine. “I don’t need to see it. I know why I’m in this, and it sure as hell isn’t for the ring—or the penthouse, or Percy’s makeover, or whatever else you’ve tried to buy me since the day I met you.”
I winced. “That’s probably a good thing, because there’s something I have to tell you.”
Her eyebrows scrunched up.
“I got you something.”
“There’s nothing I need, really. I’ll figure things out on my own.”
Brushing her hair back from her face, I stared into her eyes. “I have no doubt in my mind that you could, but I thought this might help you take the next step toward your future.”
From my inside jacket pocket, I tugged out the folded stack of papers. The ink had barely been dry on everything when I’d made it to the house. “This is for you.”
She hesitated before taking the documents from my hand.
“Holy shit!”
35
My mind tried to piece together the legalese in the documents in front of me. With shaking hands, I went through it line by line. Bread & Butter. Title. Avery Davis.
“You bought the bakery?” Happiness blanketed the confusion, so bright and shiny my heart leapt.
“Well, technically, Colm did.” Emmett put the ring box back into his pocket. I was dying to peek, but I could wait. When it was the right time, I’d never take it off, but there was still so much for us to deal with.
“What? Colm bought the bakery?”
“Let’s just say I’m going to be a lot better about not splurging on you for the foreseeable future.”
“You’re not making sense. What the hell are you talking about?” Confusion was back in full force. I barely stopped myself from pressing my hand to Emmett’s forehead.
“You’re looking at the newest in a long line of destitute athletes.” He held out his arms like a showcase model. “They cut me off.”
I sucked in a sharp breath and rage boiled my blood. Those assholes.
“You can say that again.” His lips turned up into a small smile. I hadn’t realized I’d said that out loud.
“But your NHL salary…”
“It has been locked up tight, divided among over a dozen organizations who can put it to much better use than I can.” He shrugged and popped open the button on his jacket.
“I’m sure you could find a way to get it back.”
“There’s no doubt I could, but I don’t want to. I don’t need to. I’ve never looked into endorsement deals. Can’t you see me modeling some killer razors?” He pinched his chin between his fingers and turned his head, doing his best model pose. Those things would be flying off the shelves if he were in the ads.
I glanced back down at the papers in my hand and held them up. “How is this possible then?”
“I’ve got some really good friends who were really looking forward to the chance to repay me for all the gifts I’ve gone overboard with buying over the years. It’s yours, free and clear.”