Behind the Scenes

by Trish Jensen

  The woman looked down her nose at her. “Surely he’s told you about me?”

  “Sorry, your name never came up.” Why would it?

  “He’s probably just trying to be chivalrous by maintaining our little secret. But, really, it was so long ago that it doesn’t matter now. AJ and I were once married.”

  A baseball bat to the head wouldn’t have made the dent that little piece of information did.

  Tanya took a couple of seconds to get her breathing under control. So this was the woman who’d hurt him so bad he couldn’t manage to utter three little words without worrying about the world collapsing in on him.

  She could kick herself for never trying to get the woman’s name out of him. It had never occurred to her that his wife had been an actress. That would normally be common knowledge, wouldn’t it?

  No, now that she thought about it, whenever she’d dug for tidbits about AJ from his staff, none had even hinted about his marriage. She’d bet even they hadn’t known.

  Every bit of polite etiquette drummed into her head in childhood flew straight out the window. “You were married to AJ?”

  “If you were so close to him, I’d think you’d have known that,” the woman said.

  Not if I never asked him. Dammit, why didn’t I ask him? “I apologize for my ignorance. Maybe he whispered it in my ear one of those nights when we were hot and sweaty and naked, but you’d think I’d remember a little detail like that.”

  Oh, man, her maker was going to make her pay for that one for sure, but she felt too good about it at the moment to worry.

  When the woman remained rooted to the spot, Tanya said, “Oh please, please, please say, ‘Well, I never!’ I’ve got so many comebacks for that right now I’d have to eeny-meeny to pick one.”

  “AJ’s going to hear about this,” the woman spat out.

  “Well, if he’s too busy to see you, I’ll make sure he hears all about it tonight.”

  Mrs. Wesley Dunville whirled and left her dressing room.

  Tanya collapsed in her chair. Oh, man, that was bad. She looked up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry. Really. But you have to admit she had it coming.”

  She glanced into the mirror and stared at her reflection. “Man, you do catty very well,” she said to that woman. “Even I didn’t know you had that in you. Right now I don’t know whether to smack you or kiss you.”

  But then she put her head in her hands because she had no doubt that AJ was going to kill her.

  Chapter Seventeen

  EVEN MAKING LOVE with Tanya that first time hadn’t bamboozled him the way this had. AJ couldn’t believe it. He sat at his desk, stunned beyond any scale of measurement he knew of.

  He was completely torn between laughing until someone had him committed and crying for what he’d done to Tanya.

  “Mr. Landry?”

  He looked up. It took him a moment to recognize Mrs. Peterson. Not just because his mind was blown at the moment, but because she didn’t look like his Mrs. Peterson. She appeared unsure of herself, which in itself was laughable. It had to be his scrambled brains.

  “Yes, Mrs. Peterson?”

  “I am so sorry. I only stepped away for a moment to get coffee. And you didn’t have any scheduled appointments . . . I . . . had no idea.”

  “It’s all right, Mrs. Peterson.”

  “No, it’s not. This has never happened before. I’m . . . just mortified.”

  “Seriously, it’s okay. It’s best that I heard what that woman had to say anyway. At least I got a chance to respond.”

  “But . . . a reporter! Without an appointment.”

  “Seriously. It’s all for the best.”

  At least he’d got a chance to give his side of the story. He didn’t think Tanya would be thrilled about it, but it had to be better than the woman running the story of prize Tanya quotes without any context.

  “Go home, Mrs. Peterson. We’ve all had a helluva day.”

  “Will you be all right?”

  No. “I’ll be fine.”

  He waited until she left. Tanya deserved to hear it all from him first, not read about it along with everyone else. He’d take whatever she dished out and hope like hell that she’d forgive him someday for the responses he’d given.

  Yes, he was involved with Ms. Pierce. She hadn’t been exaggerating to Heather, he’d told Eloise. No, he didn’t consider it a conflict of interest to the show, seeing as he was turning over production to Gerald Tierney. Yes, Tanya was as naïve about Hollywood as she’d sounded, but that was part of her charm. No, he wasn’t crazy about it getting out about his former marriage, but asking her to sit on it wasn’t going to do him any good.

  No, even Tanya hadn’t been aware of his marriage to Heather Dunville. Why? Because she hadn’t asked and it had never seemed important enough to tell her. She’d known he’d been married, just not to whom. No, he didn’t think she’d be upset.

  Now there was wishful thinking if he’d ever heard it.

  Please, please, please say, ‘Well, I never!’ I’ve got so many comebacks for that right now, I’d have to eeny-meeny to pick one.

  Oh, Tanya. Will it help that I laughed so hard I actually scared the reporter? He thought to himself. No. He didn’t think so.

  He stood up, suddenly feeling old. As much as he loved and admired Tanya’s grit in the face of such an unexpected shock, despite that she’d handled it so perfectly, the fact was he was responsible for her even having to do it. She should never, ever have been put in that position.

  He’d decided earlier that if and when he got her to forgive him for being such an ass this afternoon he’d tell her how glad he was she’d decided to stay with the show. He’d tell her that they could work out a way of getting her back to Sonora on a regular basis to refresh her soul. And that as long as she was here, he’d do everything in his power to keep her shielded from the ugly parts of this business. And he’d tell her he loved her.

  Ha! Great job, Landry. A-plus.

  AJ locked up his desk and headed out, leaving his briefcase behind. It was dead weight. There was no way he was getting any work done tonight.

  He made his way to the studio just as many people had called it a wrap for the day. He was pretty sure he waved or smiled or both to anyone who hailed him, but he couldn’t be certain.

  He went straight to Tanya’s dressing room, having seen many in her crew leaving. He knocked, but got no answer. He turned to head to the set just in case she was there, or someone knew where to find her.

  “You looking for Tanya?” Lori said from down the hall.

  “Yes.”

  “Gone. A long time ago.”

  Panic seized his chest. “Did she say where she was going?”

  Lori laughed, but walked over to him. “Yes, she always leaves her itinerary with me.”

  “Of course. Dumb question.”

  “Well, actually, today you’re in luck. Although I can’t believe you didn’t know.”

  Boy, that didn’t sound good already. Had Eloise come back and kidnapped her? Had word gotten around already? He was fairly certain the crew had already guessed anyway. He and Tanya had never been blatant, but they’d also never tried to be sneaky about going off to be alone together. And of course there was the party.

  “Maybe it’s a surprise?” he ventured.

  “No surprise, but it was last minute. How cool is that? On the air only four weeks and already After Dark.”

  “What?”

  “After Dark With Max’s people called this afternoon and asked her to come on the show. How could she not have told you?”

  Well, she probably had decided never to speak to him again at that point. But . . . “After Dark?”

  “Yep. Watch our ratings go through the roof.”

  “Righ
t. Well, that certainly is good for the show.”

  “No kidding. Hey, we’re all meeting for a beer to celebrate. I don’t suppose you want to join us?”

  “I’m sorry . . . no, I can’t.” I’ll be too busy finding a train to jump in front of.

  “Too bad. Well, ‘night.”

  “Lori?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Was she . . . okay with that? Going on After Dark? That’s a big step.”

  “She’s scared to death. But as she put it, ‘A star’s gotta do what a star’s gotta do.’ And besides, she’s hoping to surprise Max with something.”

  Oh, no. He was already picturing her being ambushed and humiliated by Eloise on national television.

  “Let me get this straight. She happily agreed to do a national television interview where she’s going to surprise the host?”

  “Isn’t that a kick? She’s come a long way, huh?”

  “Yes.” And she was about to take a much longer one. Straight into the clutches of a woman-eating shark of a reporter. On national television.

  He had no doubt Eloise was the cause for Tanya’s sudden invitation to the show. And he didn’t know if he could do a damn thing about it.

  “Hey, don’t look so upset! She was really excited about it. If she’s finally figured out fame has its perks, let her be happy about it.”

  “Right.”

  “She said the first thing she was going to do was demand they supply cranberry juice in the Green Room. Just ‘cause she can. See? She’s taking it pretty darn well.”

  “What time does taping start there? You have any idea?”

  Lori looked at her watch. “The deed is done by now. Now it’s just a waiting game until tonight”.

  He thought he said goodbye, but he couldn’t be sure.

  Chapter Eighteen

  THE NEXT THING AJ knew he was in his living room. He had no memory of getting there, which was a pretty scary thing for all the other drivers on the road at the time.

  He loosened his tie, but didn’t even have the energy to pull it off completely.

  He poured himself a glass of scotch, neat, and sat down on the couch, a stack of stationery and a pen in front of him.

  Writing down his thoughts for Tanya seemed to be the only thing he could do. Otherwise he was helpless. He figured he owed it to her to let her tell him off as much as she wanted to. Knowing Tanya, it would be face to face. She was big on that in-your-face stuff when she was angry.

  And, oh, God, she was going to be angry.

  He sipped the scotch, welcoming the brushfire that burned its way down his throat and exploded in his belly. He always either passed out or got sick before he ever got drunk, so he didn’t have that numbness to look forward to. Still, maybe he’d get numb enough that it wouldn’t hurt quite as much.

  Fat chance.

  There wasn’t a doubt in his mind he’d lost Tanya for good. She’d have to be either a saint or an idiot to forgive him now, and Tanya was neither.

  He’d led her directly to the slaughter. Unarmed.

  He sat back and sipped some more scotch.

  Wait a minute. Exactly what was he guilty of?

  He hadn’t had a clue Heather would go see Tanya. Especially to get her hair done. Not that it was really about her hair or feeling better about herself. No, not for his ex-wife. Heather had to be pretty desperate for this movie to do well if she was even willing to do reality TV. Desperate enough to offer big money.

  Wait a minute again. Why was Tanya accepting a lot of money to do hair? She’d even offered to do Heather’s on the side.

  AJ finished the scotch and went to pour himself another.

  As he sat back down another thought came to him. He certainly hadn’t sent a reporter to follow, eavesdrop and tape the conversation between Heather and Tanya. Eloise had hit that jackpot all on her own. And Tanya hadn’t helped any by throwing their affair in Heather’s face; although, in Tanya’s defense, Heather had deserved it.

  AJ was still “mad” about her! Sure. On what weird planet in what alternate universe?

  So, he should have told Tanya who his ex-wife was. It just hadn’t seemed relevant because he hadn’t expected the woman to show up in Tanya’s world some day spouting rubbish. But when you’re with someone long enough, their past does eventually return to affect things.

  And Lord knew he hadn’t twisted Tanya’s arm to sign an extended contract. And he hadn’t made her plaster her face all over the airwaves on talk shows, either. If Eloise was involved, it might actually hurt the show. People loved that “ordinary” Tanya made other ordinary women feel extraordinary.

  She’d been the one to order that they never do celebrities. She’d been the one to rescind the order.

  And she was excited about doing After Dark. There was only one reason for someone to get excited about that: prestige.

  The bottom line was, he was almost blameless in all of this. Wasn’t he?

  He realized that in all fairness there were probably plenty of things he’d done wrong. He just couldn’t think of any right now.

  He put down the tumbler and sat back, locking his hands behind his head. The whys or hows mattered not a damn bit. Tanya would find a way to make it all his fault.

  Even if he just shut up and accepted her recriminations, it wasn’t going to change the fact that he’d somehow blown it. She’d been the best thing that had ever happened to him. He should have listened to her and fired her instantly. That way she’d be happy and safe back in her hometown. She’d still be the Tanya she’d always been, not the one excited about doing a late night show.

  AJ got up and walked over to his entertainment center. He looked through his stack, found what he was searching for and popped it into the DVR on the TV and returned to the couch with the remote.

  It was a DVD he’d had the editing guys put together for him one day for some fictitious purpose. It contained reel-to-reel Tanya, from her first test shots and disaster of an audition through the third show. He had taken to watching it on those nights he didn’t get to see her—it made him feel as if he were still with her a little bit.

  He winced at the audition, and fast-forwarded through it. It wasn’t funny now, it was painful. But the next stuff was classic: Tanya not having any idea they were taking footage, just doing what came naturally. Even before she’d thought she was doing it for an audience, she’d been extremely concerned about the feelings of the women sitting in her chair, right down to the music they would enjoy most.

  For Leslie, who was heading out to a class reunion, she played The Monkees’ “Last Train To Clarksville”. For Denise, who was getting married, she played “I Love You” by Celine Dion. For the little girl with the French braid, she played the old tune “Dizzy” by somebody or other. While it played, she danced around the chair, twirling it and teaching the girl the song so that by the end of the show they were singing it together—both quite off-key.

  That was Tanya. Use music to set the mood.

  Use humor to deflect a touchy situation.

  Use her body to show she’d loved him.

  AJ doubled over, covering his face. It hurt. So much. Not just that he’d lost Tanya, but also that Tanya had lost Tanya. If there was anyone he’d thought would never succumb to the fame bug, it was Tanya. And even she’d been sucked in.

  God, it hurt.

  He picked up the pen and grabbed a piece of stationery.

  Tanya,

  No matter what you think I did, I never, ever meant to hurt you. I’d rather cut off my arms. You once told me you’d love me forever. By now you’ve probably changed your mind about that. I’ll never forgive myself for it.

  Just please know that I fell in love with the Tanya who first showed up at my office with baked ziti. And I’ve never stopped. I never will. You�
��re the best thing that ever happened to me. The worst is my blowing it.

  So those three words that seemed so hard to say? I’m saying them now. I love you. I always will.

  I wish for you everything you could possibly desire from life. And if you ever need anything, I’ll always be here. That much I promise you.

  Love,

  AJ

  HE TOSSED DOWN the pen and stood up, feeling a little unsteady on his feet. Good thing he never got drunk. Otherwise that note would have been gibberish. Okay, so it was a little slanted. It was still legible.

  He needed food in his stomach to soak up some of this alcohol. Too bad the only food he had in the house was birdseed for the feeders on the back porch.

  He went to the phone and speed dialed the Chinese place a couple of blocks away. Ordering his usual—shrimp fried rice, extra spicy—he dropped the phone and plopped down on the couch to wait. It wasn’t sushi but it was in the fish family, so, he was kind of close.

  He closed his eyes, remembering the bliss on Tanya’s face as she’d devoured the sushi. That girl sure liked her fish. If he’d been able to hang onto her, he would have learned how to prepare sushi. They could sit on the floor and eat it, listening to her favorite music—classic rock—and then they’d make love.

  God. He wasn’t doing himself any favors thinking this way now. When it didn’t hurt so bad he’d maybe be able to pull out those memories and really savor them. Right now, thinking about her at all was really dumb.

  He was a pathetic drunk. The alcohol didn’t stop the pain and didn’t make him forget. Too bad he was so violently anti-drug.

  Tanya was too. He hoped that, at least, would never change. He’d seen too many people succumb to that lure in this town.

  This town—his hometown—was beginning to suck.

  The doorbell rang. Passing by the TV, he smiled. The segment with Maria was on. That was his favorite episode so far.

  He dug through his back pocket, and it took him a couple of tries to get his wallet free. He opened the door and pulled apart the leather to get to the bills.

  “What do I owe you?”