The Mafia Cookbook

by Joseph Iannuzzi

  I looked at the Honorable Judge John F. Keenan and said, “No, Your Honor, I don’t wish to!” With that statement, I noticed a sign of relief come from the prosecution. Apparently I had made the right decision.

  The day ended, and on the way back to Governors Island, the agents took me to an army PX store and we did some shopping. I bought some nice veal chops and prepared them a northern Italian way, with a spaghetti dish.

  Veal Chops Milanese

  4 large veal chops, sliced 1 inch thick

  Salt and pepper to taste

  Flour for dredging

  1 large egg, well beaten

  1 cup plain dry bread crumbs

  2 cups seasoned bread crumbs

  4 tablespoons butter

  1 lemon, sliced in wedges

  Sprinkle veal chops with salt and pepper. Flour chops on all sides; then shake off excess. Dip chops into egg, then coat well with bread crumbs. In a sauté pan, melt the butter until bubbling. Sauté chops slowly on both sides for a total of about 8 minutes. Place chops on a warm serving platter and pour butter from pan over them. Serve with lemon wedges. Serves 4.

  Spaghetti with Garlic and Olive Oil

  4 quarts cold water

  4 tablespoons salt

  1 pound spaghetti or linguine

  5 ounces olive oil, divided (extra-virgin preferred)

  6 cloves garlic, finely chopped

  1 ounce heavy cream

  Freshly ground black pepper, to taste

  Freshly grated Romano or Parmesan cheese (to taste)

  Fill a large stock pot with cold water, add salt, and bring to the boil. Add spaghetti, let water come back to a rolling boil, and cook until al dente, or approximately 8 minutes. Drain and let stand in pot. Add 2 ounces olive oil to pasta and toss around, preventing strands from sticking together.

  In a large pan add 3 ounces olive oil and sauté garlic until slightly golden in color. Add 1 ounce heavy cream, whisk in well, then place spaghetti in pan. Sprinkle black pepper over pasta. Toss pasta around until all of it is coated with the sauce. Place on a warm platter, sprinkle grated cheese all over, and serve immediately. Serves 4.

  That trial ended about a month later. The jury was in deliberations for almost a week. All parties were found guilty and sentenced to a zillion years. I know the Colombo boss, Snake, received sixty-five years from this trial. He later got sentenced to one hundred years in the commission trial. My good close friend Dominick “Little Dom” Cataldo, the one that put a contract out on my life, got thirty-five years. He died in prison a couple of years later. All of the defendants got hit heavily with the sentences.

  It was 1987, and once again I had quit the FBI because they cut my salary again and the government didn’t give me what was promised me by the agents. I held out until I was compensated. I had to fight for everything. This was the Gambino trial in Brooklyn, New York, where I was to meet the extremely tough attorney Mark Krasnow for the fifth and, unfortunately, last time. On trial at this time was the under-boss, Joe “Piney” Armone, and the consigliere Joseph N. Gallo, of the Gambino LCN organized-crime family. Both were found guilty and sentenced heavily.

  After that, Mark disappeared under strange circumstances. I sure hope Mr. Krasnow doesn’t sleep with the fishes.

  After the trial we celebrated, and guess who cooked. If you said Joe Dogs, you were right. I made them a New England boiled dinner and German potato salad. This corned beef recipe is dynamite. It was given to me by some chick named Carol, a real beautiful-looking sensuous baby doll who lived in Stuart, Florida. We were very close friends.

  Corned Beef and Cabbage

  5-pound boneless brisket (“1st cut”—flat half—preferred)

  2 or 3 cloves garlic, peeled and left whole

  2 dried bay leaves

  1/2 teaspoon black peppercorns, left whole

  1 medium head cabbage

  12 to 18 small carrots

  12 to 18 small red potatoes

  Place meat in a large dutch oven along with garlic, bay leaves, and peppercorns; add just enough water to cover. Bring to the boil, then reduce heat to low. Cover tightly and simmer for at least 3 hours, or until fork-tender. Remove meat and keep warm. Cut cabbage in wedges and add pieces to cooking liquid in dutch oven, along with carrots and potatoes. Cook vegetables until fork-tender. Slice beef and arrange around a platter along with the vegetables. Serves 8 to 10.

  Fagioli with Fresh Sage

  1 pound white navy beans

  1 large onion, sliced

  2 dried bay leaves

  2 large branches fresh rosemary

  3 cloves garlic, minced

  1 cup dry white wine

  Chicken stock

  Salt and pepper to taste

  Rinse beans well under cold running water. Soak in water overnight in refrigerator, making sure beans are covered with water.

  Place beans in pot over low heat and simmer, adding onion, bay leaves, rosemary, garlic, and wine. Continue to simmer, stirring occasionally from bottom of pot upward, making sure beans don’t stick to pot. Simmer until beans are firm but tender, approximately 1 hour. As liquid reduces, keep adding chicken stock. When beans are done, place in warm bowl, remove rosemary sprigs and bay leaves, and add salt and pepper to taste. Serves 4.

  German Potato Salad

  3 pounds medium potatoes (about 10)

  6 slices bacon

  1 tablespoon flour

  1/2 cup red-wine vinegar

  1/3 cup water

  1/8 teaspoon black pepper

  2 teaspoons sugar

  1 medium onion, thinly sliced or chopped

  1/4 cup chopped green pepper

  Chopped parsley for garnish

  In a medium saucepan, boil potatoes in their jackets until fork-tender. Cool and remove skins. Slice and set aside.

  In a large skillet, over medium heat, cook bacon until crisp and remove to paper towels to drain. Add flour to bacon drippings and whisk well. Cook for 5 minutes, then add vinegar, water, pepper, and sugar and whisk together. Next, add onions and green pepper, combining well with mixture. Simmer for 5 minutes.

  Chop bacon and add to potatoes. Pour mixture from skillet over potatoes and sprinkle with chopped parsley. Serve warm. Serves 8 to 10.

  Carol’s Chocolate Cake

  BATTER

  1/2 cup vegetable shortening

  11/2 cups sugar

  2 eggs, room temperature

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  2 ounces (2 squares) baking chocolate, melted

  2 cups cake flour (or 13/4 cups regular flour), sifted

  1/2 teaspoon salt

  1 cup buttermilk

  1 teaspoon baking soda

  1 tablespoon vinegar

  Preheat the oven to 350°F.

  Using an electric beater, cream shortening and sugar until fluffy. Add 1 egg at a time, beating well. Add vanilla and chocolate; mix well. Add sifted flour, then salt, alternately with buttermilk. In a small bowl, dissolve baking soda in vinegar. When bubbly, add to batter and mix well.

  Pour batter into greased 9-by-13-inch pan(s). Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into cake comes out dry and clean.

  Note: Cool cake 10 minutes before removing from pans.

  FROSTING

  3/4 cup sugar

  1 egg, room temperature

  3/4 cup milk

  3 tablespoons flour

  In a saucepan over medium heat, whisk together all ingredients. Cook until thickened and bubbly, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and cool thoroughly. When cool, transfer to large bowl of an electric mixer and add:

  1/2 cup vegetable shortening

  1/2 cup margarine or butter

  1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  Beat on high speed for 5 to 7 minutes, or until mixture gets to spreading consistency.

  Frost the cake. You can garnish the top of the cake with chocolate curls. Serves 8.

  Note: In humid weat
her you may have to add more confectioners’ sugar.

  Also in 1987, the FBI got me an additional lump sum of money, and I was supposed to be all finished testifying for them. I purchased a small fried-chicken take-out joint in Georgia. It employed four women, all of them country cooks, and real wonderful people. It was a business that I probably would still own today if it wasn’t for the FBI lousing it all up for me. I didn’t know the first thing about country cooking. I didn’t have to. The ladies that I had there knew it all. They were the best. The girls did everything. We served a buffet-style lunch, and it was what the average working stiff could afford. Of course, I was an outsider, and if I was still there today, which is fourteen years later, I’d still be one.

  The Brooklyn FBI agents and Prosecutor Peter Lieb said they needed me for a trial that made me wind up in the hospital with a T.I.A. I wound up having to abandon the business. Then Judge Shirley Wohl Kram postponed the trial from a Thursday to the next Tuesday. She said, “I have business tomorrow on another trial. Then the weekend we are off.”

  My country help thought that I had abandoned them, because I wasn’t there to pay them on time and to greet them every day. I had one of the girls pay everybody cash out of the receipts, but that wasn’t good enough. They wanted their Mr. Joe. Country people are very funny. They don’t want to feel insecure. I even paid them better than the previous owner, but when I didn’t show up the day that I told them I would be back, they took off and went to work for my competitor. When I returned, I found the place very clean with all the equipment and furnishings intact, but no employees. All the help had left me, and no one else in town would work for the New York Yankee. I stayed for a week trying and even practically begging people to come and work at the Chicken Delight, but it was no use.

  I deserted the place. I lost $40,000. The FBI giveth, and the FBI taketh away. I went home and cooked dinner for this nice lady that I met on the plane flying back from New York. She was a beautiful Spaniard.

  Red Snapper en Papillote

  1/2 cup milk

  1 teaspoon dried crushed oregano

  1 pound red snapper fillets (2 pieces)

  1/4 cup olive oil (extra-virgin preferred)

  1/2 medium onion, sliced

  2 tomatoes, chopped

  1 clove garlic, minced

  1 teaspoon capers

  8 small pitted black olives

  1/4 cup dry white wine

  Juice of 1/2 lemon

  1 teaspoon salt

  1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

  Papillote bags (purchase in specially supermarket)

  In a deep glass or ceramic dish, mix together milk and oregano. Add snapper, cover, and marinate in refrigerator for at least 45 minutes.

  In a frying pan, heat olive oil and sauté onion until tender. Add all other ingredients to pan, except snapper, and simmer, uncovered, for about 20 minutes, or until sauce is thickened.

  Preheat the oven to 350°F.

  Remove snapper from marinade, place on paper towels, and pat dry. Put each piece of fish in a paper (papillote) bag. Spoon half the sauce over each piece of fish. Seal paper cooking bags securely, put them on an ungreased pan, and bake for 20 to 25 minutes. Slit bags open carefully so the steam inside doesn’t hit you in the face. Put fillets on plates and serve with lemon wedges. Serves 2.

  Losing so much money in that restaurant ownership really put a crimp in my pocket, or more like a cramp. I had to do something quick. I sat down and put my criminal mind together. I tried to be an honest citizen, but the good guys stuck it right up my ass. I was happy pulling down $800 to a grand a week, and it would only have gotten better if the Feds would have left me alone.

  I took a ride to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, checked into a hotel, and in the local newspaper scanned the rental adds in the classified section. There were some pretty juicy looking ads in there. I came up with a rental that looked very feasible and made an appointment with a Mrs. Cotton, the wife of an engineer. The rental was on the ocean, and the rent was $1,800 a month with a two-year lease.

  I went out and bought a cheap typewriter, and on one of the three blank phony driver’s license I typed in the name “Gordon Roughly.” I did the same thing to a blank Social Security card and a birth certificate, because I might have needed additional ID. I made like I was from Salt Lake City, Utah, and I was in the Carolinas looking for a decent rental, as my plans were to move into the state permanently, and Myrtle Beach looked like a nice area. I told Mrs. Cotton that my wife and three children were getting anxious to move and be with their dad. I added, “We also have a ten-year-old Yorkshire terrier that is part of our family, along with a cat and a canary. I hope you understand that without the animals I can’t even think of renting the place.”

  She said she was happy to hear about the animals and that the engineer said the decision was hers on how to pick a tenant. I told Mrs. Cotton that this was by far the best rental I had seen, and at a very reasonable price. The lady said that they most likely could get a bit more for the rental, but that they—her and her husband—decided to rent it to someone who was willing to take a lease for two years and could naturally afford it. She wanted two months’ rent and a month’s security deposit in advance, plus a $2,500 security deposit for the animals. This was very reasonable, but I didn’t have it. I quibbled with her for a while, telling her that the $5,400 rental deposit was agreeable, but I couldn’t see why she wanted so much security deposit for a Yorkie that was housebroken and a cat that was declawed.

  “We’re not pigs, Mrs. Cotton,” I said. “I’ll be only too happy to have you meet my family. We’re going to put our house up for sale, so there’s no rental references that I can give you.”

  I bluffed, laying $5,400 in cash on the table, hoping she’d go for it. She did. I’d like to think it was my charm and charisma that made her change her mind, but money does funny things to people when seen in a lump sum.

  “Will cash do? I haven’t had time to start a checking account yet,” I said. “I had given her a few phony references that I made solid before I went to Myrtle Beach, and I believe she checked them when she excused herself for about ten minutes.

  With the lease now in my name, I started to go to work at my scam. It was two weeks afterward that the lady and her husband left for Europe, and I had lain around the pool and beach long enough. First, I advertised in three out-of-state newspapers for the rental. Then I went to the fishing pier with a camera and paid a deep-sea fisherman $20 to take a few pictures of me with the sailfish that he’d caught. Then I hired a freelance photographer to take some professional pictures of the place: the inside of the house, including the bedrooms, dining area, living room, kitchen, and even the laundry room. Outdoors there was the tennis court, pool, and the view of the beach and ocean. I was making a brochure of the place, and the picture with me and the fish was a big seller for the rental. The ad that I placed stated all the amenities plus the rent, which was $2,500 a month. It also advertised that the rental was for three months and listed the good engineer’s phone number to call, as his wife had let the phone stay in their name, along with the rest of the utilities. That alone saved me quite a bit of money for deposits. I used another set of identifications and gave myself the good engineer’s name. I nosed around his place, where their personal papers were, and found something with his Social Security number on it.

  So that was legitimate. This had to be done correct, in case one of the prospective renters was smart enough to check the utility companies or wanted to see my identification: then I could produce one.

  I rented the place to nine different people. They all gave me different amounts deposits, which I required, at least $2,500 in advance. One person gave me $10,000 for the three months, and the security. I was adamant that they give me a cashier’s check, which wasn’t a problem. These I could get cashed very easily at any check joint for a small percent of the juice. All in all, after taking all the expenses that I’d laid out, I profiled $27,500. Bunko.


  The last person to give me a deposit was a pretty lady named Barbara from Oklahoma City. She was very friendly, so I invited her to stay for dinner and overnight as I wanted to show her one of my attributes. She stayed a week. The first night we had:

  Linguine with White Clam Sauce

  1/3 cup olive oil (extra-virgin preferred)

  2 tablespoons butter

  3 cloves garlic, minced

  1 small shallot, minced

  1/2 cup dry white wine

  12 cherrystone clams, shucked; juice reserved

  1/2 tablespoon lemon juice

  1 teaspoon dried crushed oregano

  Pinch salt and pepper

  1/2 pound linguine

  2 tablespoons lemon rind, grated and minced (see Note)

  2 tablespoons chopped Italian (flat-leaf) parsley

  In a saucepan, heat oil and butter and sauté garlic and shallot until limber. Add wine and cook until alcohol evaporates, about 1 or 2 minutes. Add reserved clam juice, lemon, oregano, salt, and pepper. Bring to the boil and cook until liquid is reduced by half.

  Meanwhile, you should have your linguine boiling in a pot of salted water. It needs to cook for about 8 minutes. When done, drain pasta but do not rinse. Return to cooking pot and keep hot.

  Lower heat under clam mixture, then add clams and lemon rind. Add drained linguine to saucepan and toss thoroughly. Place on a warm platter and sprinkle parsley over top. Serves 2.

  Note: When grating or slicing lemon rind to use in any recipe, be very careful to use the cuter, yellow part only. If you accidentally grate or slice off even the smallest amount of white pith that is just underneath the yellow rind, you will end up with a very bitter-tasting dish.

  It was early 1988. I was now living in Gainesville, Florida. My bankroll was dwindling, as I wasn’t being paid by the government any longer, so I had to try and make some money, legitimately. I called a couple of brokers, and this one outfit set me up to buy a bagel luncheonette type of place. The owner wanted $25,000 for the place. It seated about thirty people and it was filthy. The owner wanted out, so I spent a couple of days casing the area and it was very busy. The University of Florida was only a block away. The reason the guy wanted out was because he had a larger bagel restaurant elsewhere, and it was too much for him to handle both. The place was worth it, but I didn’t have $25,000 to lay out.