The Mafia Cookbook

by Joseph Iannuzzi

  I took a shot and offered him $5,000, with the balance to be paid at $5,000 every six months until I had it paid off. He went for it. I cleaned it up, painted it, bought a few pictures to hang on the walls, and so, like right away, I was in business. I kept all the help. I didn’t have to do anything but pick up the receipts every day. At my apartment I made a chili con carne every couple of days, and once in a while I’d make a vegetable or pea soup and bring it in. The board of health doesn’t allow you to do things like that, but I had already taken care of one of them when I first bought the place. I made cream puffs for the joint, too.

  Those college kids loved the little restaurant. I liked the place myself. I paid myself $600 a week and there was plenty left over for the high rent and all the bills. Everything was going smooth.

  Then about five months later a guy walks in and says, “Hey, bud! You’re Joe Dogs, aren’t you! A lot of my friends are looking for you.”

  Of course I told him he was mistaken, but he seemed adamant enough to say that he would tell an associate of his findings. He mentioned the wise guy’s name and I knew it well.

  It was fortunate that I was able to sell the place the next day. I sold it for $40,000. I had asked $50,000, but I was in a hurry to get the hell away from that area. I didn’t have time to bargain. The place was worth $100,000 easy. I got out of there quick.

  I called there a month later and the cook, Thomas, and his lady friend, Eve, told me that a couple of shady-looking characters were there asking for me. I gave Thomas some great recipes over the phone.

  Chili con Carne

  11/2 cups red chili beans, or 1 No. 2 can kidney beans

  1 ounce olive oil

  2 large onions, chopped

  1 red bell pepper, chopped

  1 pound ground beef

  1 (28-ounce) can whole peeled tomatoes, chopped

  1 (16-ounce) can tomato sauce (Hunt’s brand preferred)

  3 teaspoons tomato paste

  1/2 teaspoon paprika

  1/4 teaspoon dry mustard

  2 dried bay leaves

  11/2 tablespoons chili powder

  1 teaspoon Accent

  Salt to taste

  Vegetable or beef stock, if needed

  Soak beans overnight, covered, in cold water. The next day, in a saucepan, bring water to the boil and cook beans at a simmer, until soft, about 45 minutes. When done, set aside.

  In a large pot, heat oil and sauté onion and pepper until limber. Add meat, broken up, and brown. Add tomatoes, tomato sauce, and paste, along with all seasonings. Simmer and stir for 2 hours. If liquid is needed, add some vegetable or beef stock. When mixture is done, stir in beans and heat thoroughly. Removed bay leaves. Serves 6.

  Cream Puffs

  SHELLS

  1 cup water

  1/4 pound (1 stick) butter

  1 cup flour, sifted

  3 eggs, room temperature

  Pinch salt

  In a saucepan, bring water to the boil and add butter. When melted, add flour all at once and stir vigorously with wooden spoon, until mixture easily leaves sides of pan and forms a ball. Add 1 egg at a time to the dough, stirring each egg into mixture until blended together smoothly.

  Preheat the oven to 400°F. Grease a large cookie sheet. Using a tablespoon and a rubber spatula, drop mixture onto sheet 1 spoonful at a time, making a swirl at top of each one. Put in freezer for 10 minutes, then bake for 40 minutes, at 400°F. Lower oven temperature to 325°F and bake shells 10 minutes more. Turn oven off and let shells set stand in oven for an additional 10 minutes.

  Remove puffs from oven, place them in a large brown-paper bag, and let cool. When cooled, cut a small slit in their sides. Fill a pastry bag with custard (see following recipe) or any filling of your choice, and pipe mixture into shells. Makes about 12 shells.

  CUSTARD FILLING

  3 egg yolks, well beaten

  1/2 cup sugar

  Pinch salt

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  2 cups milk, scalded

  In a double boiler, combine beaten egg yolks, sugar, salt, and vanilla. Gradually stir milk. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly, making sure mixture does not stick to bottom of pot. Stir until mixture coats spoon. Remove from heat, place in a glass or ceramic bowl, and cool in refrigerator. Makes 3 cups filling.

  I had left the restaurant with about a $15,000 profit. I loaded my clothes into my car and took off. I had bought a new Cadillac Brougham while I was in the restaurant business. Now I had to worry about paying $550 a month for the car. I didn’t know where to go. I rode around the west coast of Florida, trying to figure out where to make my next temporary home. I rented a well-secured apartment in Tampa. I was very apprehensive about my safety, so I had to watch where I lived. The rent was high, but $800 a month, with good security, wasn’t much to pay to be safe. They wanted first, and last months rent plus security, and on top that a $300 damage deposit. Well, there was nothing I could do. I’d asked for this type of living when I agreed to help the government fight organized crime. I stayed at that place until I no longer could afford it. I made a drastic mistake. I left myself without funds to maneuver and scheme. I left myself no alternative; I had to go to work.

  I used to cook for some nice ladies once in a while at the complex where I lived, so they asked me to cook for them one more time before I left. They offered to pay me for my troubles. I told them it would be my pleasure. I asked them to pick up the groceries and said I would prepare whatever they wanted. When they told me the bill of fare, I put together a list of what I needed in the kitchen.

  Blue Cheese Dressing

  3/4 cup mayonnaise

  1/4 cup buttermilk

  1/4 cup heavy cream

  1 tablespoon lemon juice

  1/2 teaspoon garlic, minced

  1/8 teaspoon dry mustard

  6 ounces blue cheese

  In a bowl, stir together mayonnaise, buttermilk, and cream with a wooden spoon until they are well blended. Add lemon juice, garlic, and mustard; stir well. Crumble blue cheese and stir it into dressing. Refrigerate, covered, overnight. Makes 2 cups.

  The ladies wanted me to cook them some kind of a fancy chicken dish, so I came up with one of my own concoctions. Its a chicken-breast thing that you won’t find in any recipe book. Not the name, anyway.

  We’ll call it:

  Chicken Il Formaggio

  4 chicken breast halves, skinned and boned

  1/4 cup flour

  1/4 cup cornmeal

  2 tablespoons butter

  2 tablespoons olive oil (extra-virgin preferred)

  4 slices prosciutto

  4 slices Swiss cheese

  1/4 cup freshly grated Romano cheese

  2 dried bay leaves

  1/4 cup chicken broth

  Salt and pepper to taste

  1 (16-ounce) can whole peeled tomatoes, chopped

  Pound chicken with mallet or bottom of heavy skillet to 1/4-inch-thick cutlets. Blend together flour and cornmeal. Dredge chicken in flour mixture, shaking off excess. In a frying pan, heat oil and butter. Sauté chicken for 2 minutes on one side, then remove from heat. With raw side of chicken facing up, layer prosciutto, Swiss cheese, and grated cheese on top. Roll up cutlets and tie middle and ends with butcher’s string. Preheat the oven to 350°F.

  Place chicken rolls in a baking pan or dish. Add bay leaves, chicken broth, salt, pepper, and tomatoes.

  Bring mixture just to simmering on top of stove. Move to oven and bake for 30 minutes, basting occasionally with cooking liquid. When done, remove from oven, place chicken on warm platter, cut away strings, discard bay leaves, and pour sauce over all or pass separately. Serves 4.

  With this dinner affair I prepared a pasta-with-zucchini dish.

  Pasta with Zucchini

  1 pound large pasta shells

  1 tablespoon butter

  1/4 cup olive oil, divided (extra-virgin preferred)

  3 cloves garlic, finely chopped

  2
shallots, finely chopped

  3 cups sliced zucchini

  Salt and pepper to taste

  3 tablespoons chopped Italian (flat-leaf) parsley

  In a large stock pot, bring salted water to the boil and add pasta. Cook about 8 minutes. In a frying pan, melt butter with 1 ounce olive oil. Sauté garlic and shallots together until limber. Add sliced zucchini, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and sauté, turning gently to cook, about 5 to 6 minutes.

  When pasta is done, drain, put back in pot, and add 1 ounce olive oil, tossing lightly to prevent pasta from sticking. Pour zucchini sauce over pasta and toss gently while cooking together for an additional 3 to 4 minutes. Place on warm platter and sprinkle chopped parsley over the top. Serve Parmesan cheese on the side. Serves 4.

  I left the Tampa area and moved about forty miles away. I called FBI Agent Andris Kurrins in the Brooklyn office and asked him for some help with references, as I needed them to obtain some kind of cooking job. Andy complied. I was able to land a job in a nice restaurant called Mariner, just outside of Zephyr Hills. After checking my references, the owner of the restaurant offered me $30,000 a year with benefits. I grabbed it. The chef that they had there was leaving, and he showed me around the place. He stayed with me for a week and the job was a snap. The owner was a good guy and didn’t bother the kitchen help at all. Although I spotted a couple of the girls working there stealing from him, I felt it was none of my business. The job was going smooth, I was happy, my new lady friend was happy, and then once again came a phone call that made me leave the job and area in a rush.

  I’d taken someone to the airport, and on the way back I’d gotten spotted and tailed to where I worked. These wise guys just would not give up. Well, for one thing, I was foolish to have stayed in the state of Florida. I kept staying within a 100-mile range of where I’d already been. You would think that it would be enough distance, but it wasn’t. I’d squandered all my money. The FBI hadn’t been paying me for a long time now, so I had to do something to make myself safe. I’d been dodging a lot of close calls lately. The Mob had been trying to get me ever since the time I’d been given the credit for the demise of the head Gambino boss, Paul Castellano. There seemed to be a lot more heat on me from then on.

  So I had to leave my job and my new romance, a lady named Diane. I invited Diane over to my trailer home for the last time and cooked her a bon voyage dinner. Diane brought over an Amish friendship cake, along with a starter and directions on how to continue with it.

  Lobster Thermidor

  2 11/2-pound whole Maine lobsters, live

  1/8 pound (1/2 stick) butter, divided

  1/4 cup Maderia

  1/4 teaspoon paprika

  Pinch of nutmeg

  1/2 teaspoon arrowroot (approximately)

  2 cups heavy cream (approximately)

  1/4 teaspoon white pepper

  Salt to taste

  1 chicken bouillon cube

  1/4 pound baby shrimp, cleaned

  1/2 cup sliced canned mushrooms

  Kill lobsters by plunging them into a pot of boiling water and leaving there for one minute. Remove lobsters from pot and let cool. Remove meat from lobster by placing a knife just below the head, and split the shell down the spine to the end of the tail. Crack open the lobster in a butterfly fashion and discard the black intestinal vein. Remove green liver and red roe and set aside. Remove meat from tails, making sure not to break shells. With a mallet, crack the claws and remove the meat, trying not to damage it. Crack the knuckles and remove the meat. Put all meat aside and rinse the backs (shells) of the lobsters in cold water, then pot dry.

  In a saucepan, melt 1 teaspoon butter until bubbly hot (do not scorch.) Add the Maderia and cook until the alcohol evaporates. Add paprika, nutmeg, liver, and roe to mixture. Stir well and add arrowroot to thicken, until well blended and smooth. Add cream gradually, stirring constantly. Then add white pepper and salt to taste. Dissolve bouillon cube in 1 ounce of water or cream and stir into sauce mixture until well blended. Add shrimp and mushrooms, then cook over low heat for approximately 3 to 4 minutes. If necessary, add more arrowroot to thicken sauce to get desired consistency.

  Put all lobster meat back into shells and broil for approximately 5 minutes, basting occasionally with remainder butter. Put lobsters in their shells in a baking dish or pan, and spoon all Thermidor sauce over lobster meat and shells; be sure to stack the baby shrimp and mushrooms evenly in deepest front part of shells.

  Bake in a preheated 400°F oven for 3 to 4 minutes or until sauce is bubbly. Place each lobster on a plate and garnish with parsley before serving. Serves 2.

  Amish Friendship Cake

  Important !!!

  • Do not use metal spoon or bowl for mixing.

  • Do not refrigerate.

  • If air gets in the bag, let it out.

  • It is normal for batter to thicken, bubble, and ferment.

  Day 1: This is the day you receive the batter. Do nothing.

  Day 2: Squeeze the bag.

  Day 3: Squeeze the bag.

  Day 4: Squeeze the bag.

  Day 5: Squeeze the bag.

  Day 6: Add 1 cup flour, 1 cup sugar, and 1 cup milk and mix.

  Day 7: Squeeze the bag.

  Day 8: Squeeze the bag.

  Day 9: Squeeze the bag.

  Day 10: In a large bowl, combine 1 cup flour, 1 cup sugar, and 1 cup milk. Mix with a wooden spoon or spatula. Pour four 1-cup starters into separate Ziploc bags. Keep one starter for yourself and give the others to friends, along with instructions.

  To the remaining batter in the bowl, add:

  1 cup oil

  1 cup sugar

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  3 large eggs, room temperature

  11/2 teaspoons baking powder

  1 large (5.25 ounces) box instant vanilla pudding

  1/2 teaspoon salt

  2 cups flour

  1/2 cup milk

  1/2 teaspoon baking soda

  2 tablespoons cinnamon

  Preheat the oven to 325°F.

  Mix all ingredients together well. Pour batter into 2 large, well-greased and sugared loaf pans (mix in additional cinnamon and sugar). If desired, you can add to the batter 2 cups of chopped pecans and/or 1/2 cup raisins. You can also sprinkle some extra sugar mix on top. Bake for 1 hour. Enjoy. Serves 12.

  VARIATIONS:

  Orange: 1 can mandarin oranges, drained and chopped. Use O.J. from can instead of milk.

  Peach: 1 can peaches, drained and chopped. Use juice from peaches instead of milk.

  Apple: Use chopped apples or applesauce with a little milk, pecans, and raisins.

  Lemon: Use lemon pudding instead of vanilla pudding, a little lemon juice, and poppy seeds.

  Blueberry: 1 cup blueberries and 1/2 cup milk.

  Once again I was on the run. I rented a cute, clean trailer in the wooded area near Bushnell, Florida. If they found me here, they were better than the FBI. I mean, like, I was in Nowheresville, U.S.A. There was a convenience store, a small tavern-restaurant, and a post office. That was it. I had very little money, so I didn’t go out anywhere. The only person I saw occasionally was FBI Agent Don Dowd from Ocala. My Cadillac had been demolished in an accident. I was without wheels, so the FBI gave me a helping hand. The New York FBI office sent funds to the Ocala office and rented a car for me to drive. I was now driving a new Pontiac Sunbird. Dowd picked me up and drove me to the Gainesville airport, where he rented the car for me. While I was there, I went to see an old flame of mine and we did the town together. That turned out to be a bad move because someone saw me and the car I was driving. The bum must have told my adversaries the latest scoop on me. However, I had a nice time on the date and went back to my trailer in the woods, which I called home.

  About a week later I stopped at a gas station on 1-75. I went into the adjoining coffee shop, and some lady, who appeared to be in her late thirties, walked up to me where I was seated at the counter and asked me if my nam
e was Joe Dogs.

  I said no, of course, but I must have shown apprehension in my face because she said, “Yes, it is! I know it’s you! You put my father in prison and he died there because of you!”

  The woman was talking really loud now, and people were staring at us. I continued to tell her she was mistaken, but it didn’t do any good. I hurried out to the car and she followed, screaming obscenities at me. I quickly jumped into the automobile and left. I noticed her writing down the license plate number, but I didn’t care, as it was registered in the agent’s name. I drove to the trailer, extremely nervous, making all different turns, trying to make sure I wasn’t being tailed.

  When I got there, I called Laura Ward, the prosecutor for the Gambino trial in Brooklyn. She was sponsoring me to get into the Federal Witness Protection Program. It had been a while since she’d enrolled me for it, and I reported the coffee-shop incident to her. She said she would call headquarters and see why they were dragging their feet by not picking me up by now.

  I waited and waited, but to no avail. The weeks went by, and I was still waiting to hear from the marshals. I was very apprehensive. I didn’t go anywhere, except to the local convenience store to buy food.

  Then one day, at about four P.M., I got up my nerve and decided to go buy some food at a supermarket. Things had been very quiet, and I was thinking that I should be picked up by the Feds any day now. So I drove out of the wooded area where I lived and got on a country road that would take me to the interstate. Approximately two miles from my trailer, I noticed a dark sedan about ten car lengths behind me. I didn’t think too much of it at the time, but as a precaution, I went from forty-five mph to sixty-five mph to see if the car behind me picked up speed. It didn’t, so I felt relaxed. I approached the interstate and headed southbound. I would be getting off at the very first exit that I came to, exit number 56 on Route 50. I nonchalantly looked into my rearview mirror and noticed that the car behind me was getting on also. No big deal, I thought to myself, as there were plenty of cars traveling the interstate.