Can't Leave It Alone

by Nicole Jackson

  “Yesssss.” She hissed. “Oh, this dick feel so good.”

  “Oh, yeah? Well, cum on this dick.” He urged. They had been going long and strong. His mind was all over the place and he hated to admit that the reason he was going so hard was because he was imagining that she was Ryan.

  “Oh, baby I’m cumming, I’m cumming.” She lost control and her muscles contracted around him, causing him to bust inside of his condom.

  “Fuck.” He collapsed on her back, trying to catch his breath.

  She giggled. “Get your heavy ass off of me.”

  He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, which caused her to smile. He rarely kissed any part of her body, including her lips.

  “Shit, we gotta get up. That party done already started.” He remembered as he gazed at the alarm clock resting on their nightstand.

  “I know. I gotta get cute.” She grinned. She couldn’t wait to finally meet some of the dudes that he always went on and on about. She didn’t know anybody in Houston, because her entire family still lived in Louisiana. So, she wanted to get out and mingle and possibly make new friends. She figured that she wouldn’t have any problems with bitches hating, because from what she knew, Desmond’s people all had some change, which meant that the dudes probably had bad bitches on their team.

  “Well, chop-chop.” He slapped her ass one last time, before he slid off of her. Even though, it was a baby’s party every nigga he knew was talking about going. Jahrein had invited him, in fact he insisted on him coming. Really, he was just hyped to see folks he hadn’t seen in years.

  He snatched off his condom and carried it into the bathroom. He dropped it into the toilet, while Jada eyed him.

  “What?” he looked up and asked her.

  She sighed, “When are we going to lay the condoms down and make a baby?”

  “Man, I told you that I aint ready for no kids yet.” He snapped. She was pressing him more and more to have a baby. At one point they’d stopped using condoms, because she claimed that she was on the pill. Everything was kosher, until he found an ovulation test in the trash can. He knew exactly what time it was. So, he was strapping up, until he decided that he wanted a little him running around. Besides, sometimes he wasn’t sure if he wanted to procreate with her, but then again maybe he didn’t want any kids; period.

  Nixing her off, he hopped into the shower and scrubbed his body. After that he dried off and then shifted through their closet, searching for something to wear.

  Desmond knew that it was going to be a hot day so he grabbed a wife beater and some Lacoste khaki shorts with some beige Prada high top tennis shoes. He also got a beige, pink, grey, and white short sleeved plaid Lacoste button down to wear over the wife beater, but opted to leave it unbuttoned.

  Jada decided to wear a plaid sundress with the same colors as his shirt. She wore very loose, almost non-existent curls in her long red hair. She rocked beige Christian Dior scandals along with the bag to match. Her back was completely out and displayed the words De-De etched proudly across her right shoulder blade with a crown sprawled across the letters.

  “You got the gift?” he asked her as they headed out the door.

  “It’s right here.” She said in a sing song voice, as she waved the gift bag.

  “Alright, smart ass, let’s be out.” He shook his head.

  They drove all the way to McGregor Park with the top down on his Benz. Neither of them could believe their eyes are they saw all the cars lining the streets around the park as he pulled up. The scene resembled a block party verses a three-year-old’s birthday party.

  “Baby, are you sure that we’re in the right place?” she asked.

  “I’m positive.” He nodded as he pulled out his cell and called Jahrein’s cell.

  “Hello.” Jahrein answered over the loud music blaring from the speakers.

  “Ay, Jah. Where you at?”

  “I’m at the park. Where you at?”

  “I just got up here and I don’t know where to park.” He glanced around.

  “Oh, come to the main parking lot. We got somebody holding a few spots.”

  “Alright, bet.” He hung up.

  “What did your friend say?” Jada nosily asked.

  “They got some spots up here.” He pulled into the lot and ran into deadlocked traffic. There were actual uniformed policemen directing the cars.

  “Baby, are you sure that this is a little girl’s party?”

  He glanced to his left and saw the Farris-wheels and huge moonwalks. “Yeah. These muthafuckas just know a lotta people.”

  After twenty minutes, he noticed the spot Jahrein was talking about. Some dude moved the orange cone and allowed him to park.

  “Nigga, your ass is late.” Jahrein greeted him, as he swaggered over to the car.

  Jada was star struck. She had never seen a man more beautiful. Jahrein could have been somebody’s model with looks like his, but all the tattoos and gangsta personification told her that he wasn’t to be fucked with.

  “I know, man.” Desmond smiled and hopped out of his ride. They clasped hands. “This bitch is jumping.”

  “I know. Trinity did the damn thang with this. At seven o’clock all our kids are going home where we got five baby-sitters, and that’s when the block party’s going down. She actually got a permit and the shit can last until twelve if none of these niggas get too stupid out here.”

  “That’s what’s up. Where the birthday girl at? I got a gift for her.”

  “Man, she somewhere around here. Come on, let’s go find them.”

  Desmond and Jada began following Jah when she nudged him. That’s when it hit him. “Oh, yeah, Jah. This my gal, Jada. Jada this my nigga, Jahrein.”

  Jahrein spun around. “That’s my bad. How you doing, lil’ mama?” he stuck his hand out for a shake.

  “Fine.” She smiled as she shook his hand.

  “That’s what’s up.” He nodded.

  “Daddy, who is this?” a teenaged girl asked Jahrein, and Jada couldn’t believe that a child that old was calling Jahrein daddy. The little girl was beautiful and when she took a second glance she realized that the girl looked just like him. She had light brown skin and her long curly hair hung down her back. She had on tight knee length shorts and gladiator style silver scandals. The little girl had more dips and curves than a grown woman and several guys turned their heads to catch a glimpse as she stood with her hands on her hips.

  “This is a old friend. You don’t remember De-De, girl?”

  “No.” she shook her head.

  “Well, where your mama at so I can kick her ass. Who told you that you could wear those shorts?”

  “Daddy, aint nothing wrong with these shorts.” She pouted.

  “Jhyrah, that shit is too tight. Now, where ya mama at?”

  “Over there with Trinity and the rest of them.” She pointed and looked over at Desmond. “Daddy, he look like the tw…”

  “Alright, go play, man.” Jahrein cut her off.

  “Okay.” Jhyrah chunked him the deuces as she strolled off, while switching her little hips.

  “Man, that’s little Jhyrah, dog?” De-De asked in disbelief.

  “Yeah, man.”

  “Damn, she growing up. I feel sorry for you, nigga. I see that having little girls aint nothing nice.” He chuckled.

  “Shut up, nigga.” Jahrein shook his head. “I’m surprised that a nigga aint lost his hair, man. I gotta constantly watch her little ass.”

  “Ay, that’s how it is, my nigga. Where your oldest son at? Little Jahrein.”

  “That little nigga around here somewhere. He gon drive Raven crazy. She be crying every time she find condoms in his room and shit.”

  “Parenthood, man. I don’t know how yall niggas do it. That’s why I keep a extra-large Magnum in my pocket.” Desmond smiled.

  Jada sucked her teeth.

  “Yeah, okay, nigga.” Jahrein cocked his lips to the side, as he cut his eyes. “Let’s go find Serenity,
so that you can give her the gift.”

  They all tried to maneuver through the crowds of people standing around, until a little boy ran smack dab into Jahrein.

  “Oh, shit. Watch where you going, boy.” Jahrein asserted, as he firmly gripped the little boy’s shoulder. He gazed down and realized that it was Demond.

  “Sorry.” Demond apologized. “You know where my mommy is, Jahrein?”

  Desmond stood frozen. The little boy stood there with silky curly hair, bow legs, and smooth mocha skin. But what was most striking was the birthmark on the side of the little boy’s neck. It was identical to his and it was in the very same spot.

  Jada smiled at the handsome little boy. “Baby, he can pass for your son.”

  He swallowed hard as the boy stared up at him, and it was like he was staring back at himself.

  “Ay…” he found his voice. “What’s up, lil’…lil’ man?” he stuttered. “What’s your name?”

  “Demond.” He smiled, revealing the fact that his front teeth were missing in action.

  “Oh, oh, okay. What’s your mama’s name?”

  The young boy sighed, as if he was becoming bored with the conversation. “Ryan.” He turned to Jahrein. “You’ll take me to my mommy? I don’t know where Twin at.”

  “Where was the last place you saw Little De-De?” Jahrein asked, causing Desmond’s heart to drop to his stomach.

  “He was on the moonwalk.” Demond pointed out, as he dropped to his knees and tied his new Jordans.

  “Ay, little man, you said that your mama’s name is Ryan, huh?” Desmond asked as his mind raced.

  Demond slowly nodded.

  It couldn’t be. “So, what’s your last name?”

  Demond glanced up. “Brando.”

  “Oh, hell naw!” Jada lost her cool. This was too much for her.

  Desmond had to rub his hand down his face, because he could feel his eyes water and something well up in his chest. His chest heaved up and down before his eyes landed on Jahrein. “Man…” he had to pause because he was getting choked up. “You knew about this?”

  Jahrein nodded. “Man, I was never down for how she handled this shit. I always swore that if I ever saw you that I’d be the nigga to tell you, cause I wouldn’t want niggas in my face while knowing shit like this. I aint wanna be in the middle of yall’s shit, but now you see for yourself and I didn’t have to open my mouth. You was gonna figure the shit out sooner or later, and I figured that it might as well be now.”

  He nodded. “I feel you.”

  “Baby, let me talk to you.” Jada pulled him aside. “I don’t want you tripping up here. You see all these police. Maybe we should just leave.” She suggested. Deep down she knew that she didn’t want him to be anywhere near Ryan and she was going to try everything within her power to make sure that he never laid eyes on his ex.

  He shook his head. “Naw, I gotta confront that dirty bitch, main.” He pulled away from her. “Ay, lil’ man, maybe I can help you find your mommy.”

  Demond studied Desmond. He looked awfully a lot like the man in the pictures that his mommy said was his daddy. “Okay.”

  They all walked through the park, until they got to an open space where several people were doing the Stanky Leg. He spotted Ryan doing the dance like she’d invented it herself. She was rolling her hips and her tongue wagged, as she showed out.

  “Bitch, I’m wired up! Do the skanky leg. Do the stanky leg.” She waved her hands in the air.

  While wearing black denim booty shorts and a short black halter he could tell that she’d gained weight. Her stomach was still flat but she now possessed grown woman curves. Her ass was round and her breasts were full. Her long hair flowed down her back, giving her that exotic appeal. There were a few evident scars from the bullet wounds, but did nothing to her beauty.

  Dina was attempting to do the Stanky Leg as well, until she looked up and spotted Desmond. She stopped in her tracks and ran over to Ryan and whispered in her ear. “Bitch, your BD is here. I repeat, your BD is here.”

  Ryan looked up and saw him for herself. “Shit, who the fuck invited that nigga?”

  Dina smacked her lips. “Girl, who the hell didn’t know about this party?”

  “You right.” She sighed.

  “Mommy!” Demond ran over to her. “Where is Twin at?”

  “He’s right there.” Ryan pointed. Little De-De was sitting at a table enjoying a snow cone. “Where were you? I had sent Jhyrah to look for you.”

  “I was on the moonwalk.” He said innocently.

  “But I thought I told you not to wonder off unless you had somebody big with you.”

  “I did. I was with Jahrae, mommy. He’s still over there.” He pointed.

  “Umm hmm, little boy.”

  “Hey, mommy. That man over there was asking about you.” He gestured at Desmond.

  She glanced at Desmond, who was staring at her, and then focused on her son’s face. “What did he ask you, baby?”

  “He asked me if you were my mommy and…my last name.”

  “Did you tell him?”

  Demond nodded. “He looks like that man in the pictures.”

  She stared down at her baby looking just like his daddy. “That’s because that’s him.”

  He bucked his eyes and glanced back at Desmond. “He’s my daddy?”

  “Yeah, go ask him.”

  “Okay.” Demond excitedly ran over to his twin. He told him something and then a huge Kool-Aid smiled invaded his face. They then both ran right over to Desmond.

  “Hey, are you our daddy?” the twins questioned him at the very same time.

  He stared at them as a lone tear slipped out of his eye. He quickly wiped it away. He slowly nodded, knowing that there was no way in the world that he could deny them. Everything about them was all him. He couldn’t believe that after all the nights he’d begged Ryan to have his kids she was pregnant all along, and never bothered to say shit.

  “You came back from Louisiana, daddy?” Little De-De asked him.

  He nodded, realizing that Ryan had been talking about him. Hell, they knew more about him than he knew about them.

  “Yall hold up. I’ll be right back.” He halted the twins. He marched over to Ryan and gripped her arm, before dragging her away from the crowd. “Why the fuck would you do this to me?” He gritted.

  “I’m sorry. I only did what I thought was best at the time. Please don’t hate me.” She pleaded.

  “Why you lie to me, man?”

  “I never lied to you. I just withheld information. I didn’t know until I was in the hospital. Then I gave you a choice and you chose to stay in the streets.”

  He searched her eyes to see if she was serious. “What fucking choice you gave me, Ryan? You asked me to quit hustling and I told you that we would talk about it later that night. You just fucking ran off…with my fucking babies, man. I would’ve never thought that you’d do me like that. How old are they now; five?”

  She nodded.

  He clenched his jaws as his chest heaved up and down. “I should just stomp your ass, right now.” he seethed and she could tell that he meant it. He was foaming at the mouth.

  “Daddy, can you go wall climbing with us?” Demond ran over and asked. Ryan was silently thanking God for the interference because she just knew that he was about to slide her ass.

  It took a few seconds to register, but she realized that her baby had called Desmond daddy. She thought that they might be uncomfortable with that in the beginning. She knew that her boys had been craving their daddy. They’d keep her up late at night wanting to hear stories about her and Desmond from when they were younger. Maybe they felt like they already knew him, but whatever the case was they didn’t have a problem with interacting with De-De.

  Ryan sat with her friends fidgeting as she watched Desmond play with their sons. There was so much going on that she’d almost missed that he’d come with Jada, who was standing around looking lost. As far as Ryan was concerned she coul
d keep standing there.

  “Your BD’s bitch is looking lonely over there.” Dina laughed.

  “Fuck that bitch. You know that when Twin was alive she was fucking with him?”

  “Whaaat?” everybody at the table let out.

  “Yeah, she would be right in our house. I always said that I never liked the bitch and now I know the reason.”

  “Pale hoe.” Raquel jabbed just for the hell of it. Everybody giggled.

  Jada stood off to the sides, knowing that Ryan and her little friends were talking about her. Her entire day had gone to shit. She thought that she was coming to the park to meet new friends, not find Desmond’s long lost kids. She could tell that the women sitting with Ryan were all divas and she wished that the bitch wasn’t there, so that she could become a part of their circle. She thought about it and figured that she might still have a chance since Desmond hung with some of the women’s men and surely there’d come a time where Ryan wouldn’t be around. They’d get to see why the better woman had the man.

  “Look, give me your number. I promised that I would take them go-cart riding.” Desmond told Ryan as the night fell. Her girls were gathering their kids to drop them off at Trinity’s cousin’s house and she was trying to drop hers off too.

  She pulled out her cell while Jada stood off to the side with her arms folded. They exchanged numbers and Desmond headed his to his car. He wasn’t in the mood for a block party. He needed some time alone to gather his thoughts.

  ******

  Ryan blindly fumbled her way into her dark townhouse. It was a little past midnight and she was completely wasted. Her kids were spending a night with her aunt Vanity and she’d spent the past few hours getting drunk with Dina and the rest of the crew. She’d drank too much, attempting to forget about her troubles.

  She flicked on the light in the living room and found Jacob sitting there. She damn near jumped out of her skin. “What the hell were you doing sitting here in the dark?” she questioned as she held her chest.

  He sat up a little more. “I had actually fallen asleep until I heard you come in.”

  “Well, why you didn’t call me and let me know that you were here?” she asked, full of suspicion.