Can't Leave It Alone

by Nicole Jackson

  Jada’s words became lodged in her throat, as the man she swore was the love of her life talked to her as if she was a piece of shit on the bottom of his shoe.

  “Now, marinate on that.” Ryan concluded, as they hopped into her Benz. Not being able to resist it, she slid down her window. “Pale dusty hoe.” With that she backed out of the spot, leaving Jada to pick her face off the ground.

  Chapter 21

  “You did that.” Dina grinned.

  “Yeah, Jacob, I can’t thank you enough.” Ryan warmly smiled. She couldn’t believe that after everything that happened she was sitting across from him in his office, having a civilized conversation. He’d gotten all charges drop, and they didn’t even have to pay a fine. All free of charge.

  “You’re welcome,” Jacob graciously accepted the praises. “You know, Ryan, I’d do anything for you.”

  She bit her lip uncomfortably. Every time he was in her presence he made sure that she was aware of his lingering fixation with her. “Okay, Dina,” she glanced at her cousin. “You ready to go?”

  “Yup,” Dina nodded, as she stood to leave.

  Ryan followed suit. “See ya.”

  Jacob nodded, “You stay in touch.”

  “Okay,” Ryan agreed, as they strutted out of his office. She was focused on getting the hell away from Jacob’s thirsty ass, and ran smack dab into a hard body. “Oh excuse me,” she apologized.

  “You good…” the dude got out, as he caught a better look at her. His temperature rose as recognition set in. Gripping her arm, he whispered, “I been waiting a long time for this.”

  In shock and horror, Ryan realized just who she’d run into. Kemo’s older brother. “My…my bad.” she stuttered.

  “Smoke,” Jacob interrupted as he stepped out of his office. “Let her go, man. The fuck are you doing?”

  With fury, Smoke violently shoved Ryan away. “Hey!” Dina belted, as she witnessed a stranger manhandle her cousin. “What the fuck is your problem?!”

  “Come on, let’s just go.” Ryan pleaded, as she tugged Dina along.

  “Who the fuck is that bitch ass nigga?” Dina wanted to know, as she allowed her to lead her away.

  “I’ll tell you when we get in the car. Let’s go.” Ryan spoke with urgency. Together they scurried out of the building.

  “Have you lost your damn mind?!” Jacob barked as he and his cousin entered his office.

  “What you saying? I finally see the bitch Kemo was fucking wit, and she’s leaving out of your fucking office. You tell me what’s going on, nigga.”

  Jacob scrounged, “Man, you probably got her confused with somebody else.”

  “Nah, nigga, I’m know what the fuck I’m talking about. Do she got a twin brother or no?”

  Slowly Jacob nodded. “Yeah, she does. Or at least she did.”

  “Exactly!” Smoke slammed a fist on the desk. “That’s her! I know that’s her. That’s why she damn near ran out of here.”

  “Maybe she ran because you was about to attack her. Think about what you’re saying. You about to lose it over a fucking rumor, Smoke. You know nothing factual.” Jacob argued.

  His cousin had been out of prison for a very short while, but it was already a known fact that he was quickly headed for self-destruction. Smoke had worked for him for a week, and he had to fire him. The boy was literally off his rocker, fighting security in some of their buildings, and even assaulting a worker. He was definitely institutionalized. He behaved like a savaged beast unleashed into civilization. He was out there, snorting coke in public; you name it Smoke had done it.

  “If I didn’t know no better, I’d think that you was riding for that bitch.” Smoke fumed, as he wiped his runny nose.

  “Nigga, have you forgot who the fuck I am?!” Jacob’s voice boomed. “Watch how you talk to me.”

  “Evidentially, you forgot who the fuck you are!” Smoke spewed. “And you must not remember that I was the nigga that never gave a fuck about shit!” he barked, as he backed up. “Fuck nigga. If I don’t trust you, I’ma dust you. Know that!” he parted with those words, before stomping out of the office.

  “Can you tell me what the fuck that was about?” Dina pressed, as Ryan zoomed out the parking lot.

  “That dude that grabbed me is ole boy’s brother.” Ryan explained.

  “Ole boy?” Dina repeated. “Who the fuck is ole boy?”

  “You know, Dina,” she gulped. “The dude that lived down the street from your mama. The reason she ended up having to move, while you were locked up.”

  “Wait…you talking about that boy.” She snapped her fingers, attempting to recall. “Kimo…Kemo?”

  “Yeah, Kemo.” She breathed.

  “Okay,” Dina nodded with understanding. “So, what really went down, Ryan? And not that watered down version you’ve been telling me over the years. Tell me the truth.”

  Ryan swallowed, as she thought back….

  Nine years ago….

  Ryan was sitting on her aunt’s porch about to go crazy from sheer boredom. She’d left Desmond, and had ran back to Vanity’s house. His cheating ass had done the unthinkable, and forced her to leave his dog ass.

  Usually, living with Vanity was a blast. She’d kick it with Dina and run the streets, but unfortunately Dina had caught a dope case, and was sitting in the Harris County jail. Dino was too busy running wild, and her aunt had recently moved to South Park; an area Ryan wasn’t very familiar with. Therefore, those lonely nights seemed longer, and she missed Desmond like crazy. That all changed when Kemo came trudging up the sidewalk.

  Ryan noticed him and his swagger a mile away. He was tall with a built physique, which came from his years as a varsity running back at Worthing High School. His deep red sun kissed skin complexion accompanied with the creamiest grey eyes she’d ever seen had her stuck.

  Kemo pulled up his sagging Ralph Lauren jeans, as he blatantly stared at the new face, chilling on the porch. That face spoke of innocence but that ass in those booty shorts told a different story.

  “Damn, lil’ mama where you come from?” he gawked, as he eased his way over to the porch.

  With a roll of the neck, Ryan replied, “From outer space.”

  Kemo chuckled at her wit. “Yeah, so, what’s your name?”

  “Jupiter,” she giggled, liking the fact that he didn’t get offended by her sassy mouth.

  “Man…keep doing that. That fucking smile is beautiful,” he swooned.

  Ryan blushed, but kept her game face on. “Are you running game on me?”

  He threw his head back. “Where that came from? I’m just keeping it real. I saw what I liked and hurried over. I got first dib’s, baby. Another nigga can’t get a shot around here.”

  “You funny,” she sniggered.

  “I know,” he agreed cockily. “So, give me that number. You know you want to.”

  From that day forth they’d kick it. Initially, Ryan looked at him as a fill in; someone to keep her from running back to Desmond. But Kemo’s personality was infectious, and she was soon simply digging him. He kept her laughing, but it was weird. He was a notorious knuckle head in the streets, and was considered grimy, but he never exhibited those traits in her presence.

  Soon, Desmond was the last person on her mind, until Kemo dropped her off at her aunt’s after two in the morning. She trampled into Vanity’s living room to find him sitting in the dark. “You had fun?” he asked calmly.

  Her heart skipped a beat. “Damn, you scared the shit out of me.” She held her chest.

  He slowly stood up. “So, where have you been?”

  She placed her hands on her hips. “That’s none of your muthafuckin business. Why don’t you go ask Karen what the fuck she’s doing? That’s your bitch, right?”

  He huffed, “Man, there you go. I don’t fuck wit that bitch like that, Ry. And I came here to tell you that we got a DNA test. And before you start…it aint mines.”

  She stood for a second, digesting the news. “But…but tha
t don’t change what you did.”

  “I know I fucked up, but I need you to forgive me.” He pleaded, singing the same song he’d been singing for months.

  “I don’t know,” she hesitated.

  He stepped closer, inhaling her. “Who…who you been with? Huh?” he sniffed, smelling cologne all over her.

  She nervously stepped back. “I told you that it wasn’t your bus…” she got out, before he yoked her up.

  “You fucked that nigga?” he pressed. “Answer me!”

  “No!” she yelled.

  He gripped her neck. “Don’t lie to me.”

  “I’m not. I…I was just kicking it with a friend.” She admitted.

  “A friend?” he snarled. “Call that nigga, then. I wanna hear you talk to him.”

  “Get off me, De-De.” She whined. “Ant Vanity!” she shouted.

  “With yo snitching ass. She aint here,” he revealed.

  “Well, get yo ass off me!” she shoved him back.

  He forcefully charged at her, sending them both flying into the couch. “You fucked that nigga?! You gave him my pussy?”

  “Desmond stoooop!” she screeched, as she dug her nails in his face. They tussled and tussled, until Ryan was exhausted. At four that morning she was forced to call up Kemo, and tell him to lose her number.

  “I’m saying, I thought it we was good? Why the sudden change?” he questioned.

  “I just gotta get my mind right,” she sniffled.

  “Yeah, okay.” He gritted. “Tell that bitch ass nigga that he won this round.”

  Ryan glared at Desmond, as she ended the call. “You happy now?”

  “Nah. I won’t be until you pack your shit, and come home.”

  “Well, I guess you gonna be just one mad nigga.”

  That was her stance for weeks after, but Desmond was determined to win her back. His relentless efforts eventually wore her down, and she decided to take him back. Throughout those weeks she’d notice Kemo’s Cadillac slowly creeping by her aunt’s house. She never told Desmond, but it was beginning to give her the creeps.

  On one of the last days at her aunt’s he stopped by unannounced. Desmond had just left, and was supposed to be back later to help her pack her things. She was moving back home. Kemo was high out of his mind, gone off the sherm. Up until then, Ryan had no idea that he liked to smoke wet.

  “Give me a kiss,” he insisted as he hemmed her up against the brick wall outside of Vanity’s home.

  “Hell no,” she frowned. “Nigga, you smell like that shit. I know you aint going out like that.”

  “What?” he clenched his teeth.

  “Move!” she belted, pushing him back. She motioned for her phone that was resting in a chair. He swiftly shoved her aside, and snatched her cell.

  “Who you trying to call? Huh? Is it that nigga I been seeing you with? The dark nigga with the curly hair. You like ‘em pretty don’t ya? In all shades. You busting it open for everybody, aint ya?”

  “What?” she scrounged. “Give me my shit, and take yo hoe ass on, before it get real out here.”

  He bucked her, but she didn’t flinch. “That tough shit you talking don’t move me.” He stomped off the porch. “Tell that nigga to come get your phone. I bet I pump his ass with this hot led.”

  Wanting to keep Desmond’s psychotic episodes at bay, Ryan decided to take a loss, and let Kemo keep the phone. The problem was that she’d grossly underestimated his bitterness. She and De-De were smoking a blunt when he received a text from the phone, she’d claimed she’d lost.

  “What the fuck is this?!” he fumed, as he watched a video of her getting ate out. “But you aint fuck this nigga, though!” he flipped the phone, allowing her to see herself in a compromising position.

  Ryan’s mouth fell open. She couldn’t believe Kemo would stoop that low. “Baby, that’s all we did. I put that on everything. He…he just went down on me. It never went any further.”

  “How the fuck did he end up with your phone?!”

  “He…he took it from me, but that’s…that’s nothing.”

  His eyes lowered into slits. “A nigga took your phone, and you aint say shit?”

  “Because I was handling it.” She claimed.

  “Nah,” he dialed her cell up. “You and this nigga got me fucked up.”

  “You saw how I had her screaming?” Kemo chuckled into the phone as soon as he answered.

  “I’m saying, the fuck you sent this shit to my phone for, homie? You value your life, or do you just have a death wish?”

  “A death wish?” Kemo repeated. “Nigga you out of your bounds right now. Keep talking and it aint gone be safe for you to walk these south side streets.”

  “Pussy ass nigga you can see me right now! Matter of fact, fuck that! I’m coming to you.” He ended the call, and focused on Ryan. “Show me where that nigga stay.”

  “Come on, Desmond. It aint that serious,” she whined.

  “Man, fuck all that! Show me where his bitch ass stay!”

  “I don’t know where he lives!” she lied. “I don’t know.”

  That night they went home, but were still beefing. As time trickled by, they slowly moved past the drama. A month later, Ryan, De-De, and Bryan were all back at Vanity’s visiting. Since they no longer lived in Houston they didn’t see her very often, and would come spend nights with her at least every other month.

  All three of them, along with Dino were hanging on the porch, getting blunted off Kush. They’d run out of blunts, so Ryan volunteered to make a store run. She borrowed Desmond’s Lexus and drove to the corner store. Upon pulling up, she spotted Kemo loitering outside of the store.

  With her head held high, she hopped out of the foreign whip and strutted into the store. Seconds later, Kemo was right behind her. “Where that bitch ass nigga that was talking all that shit?”

  She sucked her teeth, as she whirled around. “Look, you don’t recognize a pass when you see one? I was doing you a favor, keeping him off your ass. So, I suggest that you back the fuck up, and go the other way.”

  He cynically smiled, “Keep talking. You making my dick hard.”

  With true disdain, she hocked up and spat in his face.

  “Bitch!” he snatched her by her hair. “I’ll fucking kill you!”

  “Hey, let her go! I call the police!” the Asian store owner threatened.

  With rage Kemo hurled Ryan into an aisle filled with various products, sending it all crashing to the ground.

  Laughing, Kemo stomped out of the store, leaving her to scramble to her feet. Filled to the brim with embarrassment mixed with anger, she sprinted back to the car, and skirted out of the lot. The whole while Kemo was calmly posted against the store’s wall, ready for whatever. Ryan had unknowingly fucked with the wrong nigga. He was one of those cats that people hated to see coming. Something wasn’t right in his soul. He was truly a menace to society, and didn’t give a fuck about anything.

  Ryan burnt rubber getting back to her aunt’s. As soon as she pulled up everybody knew that something had happened.

  “That nigga put his hands on me!” she ranted. Immediately, they all knew who she was speaking of.

  Unbeknownst to her, they’d done their homework on ole Kemo. They knew that he was a trouble maker that had enemies everywhere. He was hot tempered, and gun happy. The problem was that he had a very connected family that prevented plenty of niggas from dealing with him, accordingly.

  “Aye,” Bryan gave his boy that look. “I’m ready whenever you are.” He whispered.

  De-De nodded, “Nah, I got this one. I’ma do it by myself.”

  Bryan frowned. “You sure?”

  “Positive.”

  That very same night Kemo was walking from his boy’s crib. Being that he lived just further up the same block, he’d walked there which was something he’d do from time to time. The street was still, and he was puffing on an embalming fluid dipped Newport cigarette. He was too busy getting lifted to pay attention to his s
urroundings. He was just a few feet away from his mama’s doorstep, when a dark figure seemingly came out of nowhere.

  “My bitch ass came for you.” Desmond whispered with his pistol already aimed. “Who can’t walk these streets?” he gritted, as he squeezed the trigger. Blup! Blup! Blup! Blup! Never the one to leave big messes the gun simply sputtered due to his silencer. By the time Kemo’s body hit the ground, Desmond had skated between houses and was in route to Vanity’s.

  With a tap of the backroom window, Ryan headed to the backdoor. Without looking, she opened the door, and Desmond tipped inside. She wasn’t even aware that he’d slipped out, but now knew without a shadow of a doubt where he’d gone.

  No words were uttered as she helped him undress, and she properly disposed of his clothing. She waved her head, before gazing into his eyes. He stared back. The question of why wasn’t necessary. She knew him, and that’s why she’d been attempting to spare Kemo. A hard head made a dead man, but he’d single-handedly dug that grave for himself.

  Chapter 22

  Jada sat with tears streaming down her face. In her hand she held the DNA results, and it caused her heart to drop down to her toes. With trembling hands, she attempted to call Desmond, but he wouldn’t pick up. She called several times back to back, but got the same results; his voicemail.

  After thinking of a way to express herself, she decided to send him a lengthy text message. It read: De-De, we have been through so much together. I know we didn’t meet the cleanest way, but I still fell head over hills in love with you. I’d witness you love another chick, and I wanted that for myself. So, I did everything in my power for you to love me the way you loved her. I’d do anything for you, and you know this. But it never seemed to be enough. After a while I convinced myself that you had to love me, since you provided everything I needed outside of affection. But deep down, that always bothered me. How you could lay between my legs, but never really be there with me. That lack of affection led to deep insecurities within me. And I won’t make any excuses, but I was hurt. Wounded really. So, I acted out, after being loyal to you for so very long. I decided to be selfish one night, but I never thought that it would come back like this. I’m devastated and heartbroken. Yeah, you were never loyal to me, but this wasn’t supposed to happen. Dashon was supposed to be your son. God, I wish that he was. I am so sorry. Can you forgive me?